第 89 节
作者:南方网      更新:2021-02-19 19:56      字数:9292
  E
  too much oppressed by a crowd of ideas; widely differing
  in   themselves;   but   of   which   sadness    was   the   general   result;   to
  think even of her sister。
  Willoughby; he; whom only half an hour ago she had abhorred
  as the most worthless of men; Willoughby; in spite of all his faults;
  excited a degree of commiseration for the sufferings produced by
  them; which made her think of him as now separated for ever from
  her family; with a tenderness; a regret; rather in proportion; as she
  soon    acknowledged        within   herself—to     his   wishes    than   to  his
  merits。 She felt that  his   influence  over  her  mind   was   heightened
  by   circumstances   which   ought   not   in   reason   to   have   weight;   by
  that person   of  uncommon   attraction;   that  open;   affectionate; and
  lively  manner  which  it  was   no merit  to   possess;   and   by   that   still
  ardent     love  for  Marianne;      which    it  was  not   even   innocent     to
  indulge。 But she felt that it was so; long; long before she could feel
  his influence less。
  When   at   last   she   returned   to   the   unconscious   Marianne;   she
  found her just awaking; refreshed by so long and sweet a sleep to
  the   extent   of   her   hopes。  Elinor’s   heart   was   full。  The   past;  the
  present; the future; Willoughby’s visit; Marianne’s safety; and her
  mother’s expected arrival; threw her altogether into an agitation of
  spirits   which   kept   off   every   indication   of   fatigue;   and   made   her
  only fearful of betraying herself to her sister。 Short was the time;
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  however;   in   which   that   fear   could   affect   her;   for   within   half   an
  hour   after   Willoughby’s   leaving   the   house;   she   was   again   called
  down stairs by the sound of another carriage。—Eager to save her
  mother from every unnecessary moment’s horrible suspense; she
  ran immediately into the hall; and reached the outward door just
  in time to receive and support her as she entered it。
  Mrs。 Dashwood; whose terror as they drew near the house had
  produced almost the conviction of Marianne’s being no more; had
  no   voice   to   inquire   after   her;   no   voice   even   for   Elinor;   but  she;
  waiting neither for salutation nor inquiry; instantly gave the joyful
  relief;—and her mother; catching it with all her usual warmth; was
  in a moment as much overcome by her happiness; as she had been
  before   by   her   fears。   She   was   supported   into   the   drawing…room
  between her daughter and her friend;—and there; shedding tears
  of   joy;   though   still   unable   to   speak;   embraced   Elinor   again   and
  again;   turning   from   her   at   intervals   to   press   Colonel   Brandon’s
  hand;   with   a    look   which   spoke      at   once  her   gratitude;   and     her
  conviction of his sharing with herself in   the bliss   of  the   moment。
  He shared it; however; in a silence even greater than her own。
  As    soon    as  Mrs。    Dashwood        had    recovered      herself;   to   see
  Marianne   was   her   first   desire;   and   in   two   minutes   she   was   with
  her  beloved   child;   rendered   dearer   to   her   than   ever   by   absence;
  unhappiness; and   danger。   Elinor’s   delight;   as  she   saw  what   each
  felt   in   the   meeting;   was   only   checked   by   an   apprehension   of   its
  robbing Marianne of farther sleep;—but Mrs。 Dashwood could be
  calm; could be even prudent; when the life of a child was at stake;
  and Marianne; satisfied in knowing her mother was near her; and
  conscious of being too weak for conversation; submitted readily to
  the silence and quiet prescribed by every nurse around her。 Mrs。
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  Dashwood        would      sit  up    with   her    all  night;    and    Elinor;    in
  compliance with her mother’s entreaty; went to bed。 But the rest;
  which   one   night   entirely   sleepless;   and   many   hours   of   the   most
  wearing       anxiety    seemed      to  make      requisite;    was    kept   off   by
  irritation   of   spirits。   Willoughby;   “poor   Willoughby;”   as   she   now
  allowed   herself   to   call   him;   was   constantly   in   her   thoughts;   she
  would not but have heard his vindication for the world; and now
  blamed;   now  acquitted   herself   for   having   judged   him   so   harshly
  before。 But her promise of relating it to her sister was invariably
  painful。 She dreaded the performance of it; dreaded what its effect
  on Marianne might be; doubted whether after such an explanation
  she could ever be happy with another; and for a moment wished
  Willoughby        a  widower。      Then;    remembering         Colonel     Brandon;
  reproved   herself;   felt   that   to his   sufferings   and  his  constancy   far
  more   than   to   his   rival’s;   the   reward   of   her   sister   was   due;   and
  wished any thing rather than Mrs。 Willoughby’s death。
  The   shock   of   Colonel   Brandon’s   errand   at   Barton          had   been
  much softened to Mrs。 Dashwood by her own previous alarm; for
  so great was her uneasiness about Marianne; that she had already
  determined        to   set   out   for   Cleveland  on   that   very   day;   without
  waiting   for   any   further   intelligence;   and   had   so   far   settled      her
  journey   before   his   arrival;     that   the  Careys     were    then   expected
  every     moment       to   fetch   Margaret       away;    as   her   mother      was
  unwilling to take her where there might be infection。
  Marianne       continued      to   mend     every    day;    and   the    brilliant
  cheerfulness   of   Mrs。   Dashwood’s   looks   and   spirits   proved   her   to
  be; as she repeatedly declared herself; one of the happiest women
  in the world。 Elinor could not hear the declaration; nor witness its
  proofs     without   sometimes        wondering   whether   her        mother     ever
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  recollected Edward。 But Mrs。 Dashwood; trusting to the temperate
  account   of   her   own   disappointment   which   Elinor   had   sent   her;
  was led away by the  exuberance   of  her  joy  to  think   only  of  what
  would increase it。 Marianne was restored to her from a danger in
  which;   as   she   now   began   to   feel;   her   own   mistaken   judgment   in
  encouraging        the   unfortunate       attachment       to  Willoughby;       had
  contributed to place her;—and in her recovery she had yet another
  source of joy unthought of by Elinor。 It was thus imparted to her;
  as   soon   as   any   opportunity   of   private   conference   between   them
  occurred。
  “At  last   we   are   alone。   My   Elinor;   you   do   not   yet   know  all   my
  happiness。   Colonel   Brandon   loves   Marianne。   He   has   told   me   so
  himself。”
  Her     daughter;     feeling    by   turns    both    pleased    and    pained;
  surprised and not surprised; was all silent attention。
  “You are never like me; dear Elinor; or I should wonder at your
  composure now。 Had I sat down to wish for any possible good to
  my family; I should have fixed on Colonel Brandon’s marrying one
  of you as the object most desirable。 And I believe Marianne will be
  the most happy with him of the two。”
  Elinor    was    half  inclined    to  ask   her   reason     for  thinking    so;
  because satisfied that none founded on an impartial consideration
  of   their   age;   characters;     or  feelings;   could    be   given;—but       her
  mother   must   always   be   carried   away  by   her   imagination   on   any
  interesting subject; and therefore instead of an inquiry; she passed
  it off with a smile。
  “He opened his whole heart to me yesterday as we travelled。 It
  came     out   quite   unawares;      quite   undesignedly。      I;  you   may    well
  believe; could talk of nothing but my child;—he could not conceal
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  his    distress;   I  saw    that   it  equalled    my    own;    and   he   perhaps;
  thinking  that  mere   friendship;   as   the   world   now  goes;   woul