第 69 节
作者:南方网      更新:2021-02-19 19:56      字数:9249
  event   really   was;     though   she     earnestly   tried    to   drive  away   the
  notion   of   its   being   possible   to   end   otherwise   at   last;   than   in   the
  marriage of Edward and Lucy。 What Mrs。 Ferrars would say and
  do;    though    there    could    not   be  a   doubt    of  its  nature;    she   was
  anxious      to  hear;   and    still  more    anxious    to   know    how    Edward
  would   conduct   himself。   For  him   she   felt   much   compassion;—for
  Lucy very little—and it cost her some pains to procure that little;—
  for the rest of the party none at all。
  As   Mrs。   Jennings   could   talk   on   no   other   subject;   Elinor   soon
  saw   the   necessity   of   preparing   Marianne   for   its        discussion。   No
  time was to be lost in undeceiving her; in making her acquainted
  with   the   real   truth;   and   in   endeavouring   to   bring   her   to   hear   it
  talked of by others; without betraying that she felt any uneasiness
  for her sister; or any resentment against Edward。
  Elinor’s   office   was   a   painful   one。—She   was   going   to   remove
  what   she   really   believed   to   be   her   sister’s   chief   consolation;—to
  give such particulars of Edward as she feared would ruin him for
  ever     in   her    good     opinion;—and         to   make      Marianne;       by   a
  resemblance   in   their   situations;   which   to  her   fancy   would   seem
  strong;      feel   all   her    own     disappointment          over    again。     But
  unwelcome  as  such a   task   must be;   it  was necessary   to   be   done;
  and Elinor therefore hastened to perform it。
  She was very far from wishing to dwell on her own feelings; or
  to represent herself as suffering much; any otherwise than as the
  self…command         she    had   practised     since    her   first  knowledge       of
  Edward’s        engagement;        might      suggest     a   hint    of   what     was
  practicable to Marianne。 Her narration was clear and simple; and
  though      it   could    not   be    given    without     emotion;      it  was     not
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  accompanied         by   violent   agitation;    nor   impetuous       grief。—That
  belonged rather to the hearer; for Marianne listened with horror;
  and cried excessively。 Elinor was to be the comforter of others in
  her own distresses; no less than in theirs; and all the comfort that
  could be given by assurances of her own composure of mind; and a
  very    earnest    vindication     of  Edward      from    every   charge     but  of
  imprudence; was readily offered。
  But    Marianne      for  some     time   would     give   credit   to  neither。
  Edward       seemed     a   second    Willoughby;       and   acknowledging        as
  Elinor  did;  that  she had loved   him  most  sincerely;   could   she   feel
  less than herself! As for Lucy Steele; she considered her so totally
  unamiable;   so   absolutely   incapable   of   attaching   a   sensible   man;
  that she could not be persuaded at first to believe; and afterwards
  to pardon; any former affection of Edward for her。 She would not
  even     admit   it  to  have   been    natural;   and    Elinor   left  her   to  be
  convinced that it was so; by that which only could convince her; a
  better knowledge of mankind。
  Her  first  communication   had   reached   no   farther   than   to   state
  the fact of the engagement; and the length of time it had existed。—
  Marianne’s   feelings   had   then   broken   in;   and   put   an   end       to   all
  regularity of detail; and for some time all that could be done was to
  soothe      her    distress;    lessen     her    alarms;     and    combat       her
  resentment。   The   first   question   on   her   side;   which   led   to   farther
  particulars; was;
  “How long has this been known to you; Elinor? has he written
  to you?”
  “I   have  known   it  these  four  months。  When  Lucy  first  came   to
  Barton      Park   last  November;       she   told  me   in  confidence      of  her
  engagement。”
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  At   these   words;   Marianne’s   eyes   expressed   the   astonishment
  which     her  lips  could   not   utter。  After   a  pause   of  wonder;     she
  exclaimed—
  “Four months!—Have you known of this four months?”
  Elinor confirmed it。
  “What!—while attending me in all my misery; has this been on
  your heart?—And I have reproached you for being happy!”—
  “It was not fit that you should then know how much I was the
  reverse!”
  “Four      months!”—cried         Marianne       again。—“So       calm!—so
  cheerful!—how have you been supported?”—
  “By   feeling   that   I   was   doing   my   duty。—My   promise   to   Lucy;
  obliged me to be secret。 I owed it to her; therefore; to avoid giving
  any hint of the truth; and I owed it to my family and friends; not to
  create in them a solicitude about me; which it could not be in my
  power to satisfy。”
  Marianne seemed much struck。
  “I   have   very   often   wished     to  undeceive     yourself    and   my
  mother;” added Elinor; “and once or twice I have attempted it;—
  but    without   betraying    my    trust;  I  never  could   have   convinced
  you。”
  “Four months!—and yet you loved him!”—
  “Yes。   But   I   did   not   love   only   him;—and   while   the   comfort   of
  others was dear to me; I was glad to spare them from knowing how
  much I felt。 Now; I can think and speak of it with little emotion。 I
  would   not   have   you   suffer   on   my  account;   for   I   assure   you   I   no
  longer suffer materially myself。 I have many things to support me。
  I am not conscious of having provoked the disappointment by any
  imprudence       of  my   own;    I  have   borne   it  as  much    as  possible
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  without      spreading      it  farther。    I  acquit     Edward      of   essential
  misconduct。 I wish him very happy; and I am so sure of his always
  doing his duty; that though now he  may  harbour  some   regret;   in
  the end he must become so。 Lucy does not want sense; and that is
  the    foundation     on   which   every   thing   good     may   be   built。—And
  after   all;   Marianne;   after   all   that   is   bewitching   in   the   idea   of   a
  single and constant  attachment;   and all   that  can be   said  of  one’s
  happiness   depending   entirely   on   any   particular   person;   it   is   not
  meant—it       is  not   fit—it  is  not   possible    that   it  should   be   so。—
  Edward       will  marry    Lucy;    he   will  marry    a  woman      superior    in
  person and understanding to half her sex; and time and habit will
  teach     him   to  forget   that   he   ever   thought    another     superior    to
  her。”—
  “If such is your way of thinking;” said Marianne; “if the loss of
  what is most valued is so easily to be made up by something else;
  your resolution; your self…command; are; perhaps; a little less to be
  wondered          at。—They         are      brought       more       within       my
  comprehension。”
  “I   understand   you。—You   do   not   suppose   that   I   have   ever   felt
  much。—For four months; Marianne; I have had all this hanging on
  my     mind;    without    being    at  liberty   to  speak    of  it  to  a  single
  creature;   knowing   that   it   would   make   you   and   my   mother   most
  unhappy whenever it were explained to you; yet unable to prepare
  you for it in the least。—It was told me;—it was in a manner forced
  on me by the very person herself; whose prior engagement ruined
  all   my  prospects; and   told me; as   I   thought;   with  triumph。—This
  person’s      suspicions;      therefore;     I  have     had    to   oppose;      by
  endeavouring to appear indifferent where I have been most deeply
  interested;—and it has not been only once;—I have had her hopes
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  and exultation to listen to again and again。—I have known myself
  to    be   divided     from    Edward      for   ever;   without     hearing     one
  circumstance   that