第 64 节
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Edward!—But now there is one good thing; we shall be able to
meet; and meet pretty often; for Lady Middleton’s delighted with
Mrs。 Dashwood; so we shall be a good deal in Harley…street; I dare
say; and Edward spends half his time with his sister—besides;
Lady Middleton and Mrs。 Ferrars will visit now;—and Mrs。
Ferrars and your sister were both so good to say more than once;
they should always be glad to see me。—They are such charming
women!—I am sure if ever you tell your sister what I think of her;
you cannot speak too high。”
But Elinor would not give her any encouragement to hope that
she should tell her sister。 Lucy continued。
“I am sure I should have seen it in a moment; if Mrs。 Ferrars
had took a dislike to me。 If she had only made me a formal curtsey;
for instance; without saying a word; and never after had took any
notice of me; and never looked at me in a pleasant way—you know
what I mean—if I had been treated in that forbidding sort of way; I
should have gave it all up in despair。 I could not have stood it。 For
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where she does dislike; I know it is most violent。”
Elinor was prevented from making any reply to this civil
triumph; by the door’s being thrown open; the servant’s
announcing Mr。 Ferrars; and Edward’s immediately walking in。
It was a very awkward moment; and the countenance of each
shewed that it was so。 They all looked exceedingly foolish; and
Edward seemed to have as great an inclination to walk out of the
room again; as to advance farther into it。 The very circumstance;
in its unpleasantest form; which they would each have been most
anxious to avoid; had fallen on them。—They were not only all
three together; but were together without the relief of any other
person。 The ladies recovered themselves first。 It was not Lucy’s
business to put herself forward; and the appearance of secrecy
must still be kept up。 She could therefore only look her
tenderness; and after slightly addressing him; said no more。
But Elinor had more to do; and so anxious was she; for his sake
and her own; to do it well; that she forced herself; after a moment’s
recollection; to welcome him; with a look and manner that were
almost easy; and almost open; and another struggle; another effort
still improved them。 She would not allow the presence of Lucy;
nor the consciousness of some injustice towards herself; to deter
her from saying that she was happy to see him; and that she had
very much regretted being from home; when he called before in
Berkeley…street。 She would not be frightened from paying him
those attentions which; as a friend and almost a relation; were his
due; by the observant eyes of Lucy; though she soon perceived
them to be narrowly watching her。
Her manners gave some re…assurance to Edward; and he had
courage enough to sit down; but his embarrassment still exceeded
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that of the ladies in a proportion; which the case rendered
reasonable; though his sex might make it rare; for his heart had
not the indifference of Lucy’s; nor could his conscience have quite
the ease of Elinor’s。
Lucy; with a demure and settled air; seemed determined to
make no contribution to the comfort of the others; and would not
say a word; and almost every thing that was said; proceeded from
Elinor; who was obliged to volunteer all the information about her
mother’s health; their coming to town; &c。 which Edward ought to
have inquired about; but never did。
Her exertions did not stop here; for she soon afterwards felt
herself so heroically disposed as to determine; under pretence of
fetching Marianne; to leave the others by themselves; and she
really did it; and that in the handsomest manner; for she loitered
away several minutes on the landing…place; with the most high…
minded fortitude; before she went to her sister。 When that was
once done; however; it was time for the raptures of Edward to
cease; for Marianne’s joy hurried her into the drawing…room
immediately。 Her pleasure in seeing him was like every other of
her feelings; strong in itself; and strongly spoken。 She met him
with a hand that would be taken; and a voice that expressed the
affection of a sister。
“Dear Edward!” she cried; “this is a moment of great
happiness!—This would almost make amends for every thing!”
Edward tried to return her kindness as it deserved; but before
such witnesses he dared not say half what he really felt。 Again
they all sat down; and for a moment or two all were silent; while
Marianne was looking with the most speaking tenderness;
sometimes at Edward and sometimes at Elinor; regretting only
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that their delight in each other should be checked by Lucy’s
unwelcome presence。 Edward was the first to speak; and it was to
notice Marianne’s altered looks; and express his fear of her not
finding London agree with her。
“Oh! don’t think of me!” she replied with spirited earnestness;
though her eyes were filled with tears as she spoke; “don’t think of
my health。 Elinor is well; you see。 That must be enough for us
both。”
This remark was not calculated to make Edward or Elinor more
easy; nor to conciliate the good will of Lucy; who looked up at
Marianne with no very benignant expression。
“Do you like London?” said Edward; willing to say any thing
that might introduce another subject。
“Not at all。 I expected much pleasure in it; but I have found
none。 The sight of you; Edward; is the only comfort it has afforded;
and thank Heaven! you are what you always were!”
She paused—no one spoke。
“I think; Elinor;” she presently added; “we must employ
Edward to take care of us in our return to Barton。 In a week or
two; I suppose; we shall be going; and; I trust; Edward will not be
very unwilling to accept the charge。”
Poor Edward muttered something; but what it was; nobody
knew; not even himself。 But Marianne; who saw his agitation; and
could easily trace it to whatever cause best pleased herself; was
perfectly satisfied; and soon talked of something else。
“We spent such a day; Edward; in Harley…street yesterday! So
dull; so wretchedly dull!—But I have much to say to you on that
head; which cannot be said now。”
And with this admirable discretion did she defer the assurance
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of her finding their mutual relatives more disagreeable than ever;
and of her being particularly disgusted with his mother; till they
were more in private。
“But why were you not there; Edward?—Why did you not
come?”
“I was engaged elsewhere。”
“Engaged! But what was that; when such friends were to be
met?”
“Perhaps; Miss Marianne;” cried Lucy; eager to take some
revenge on her; “you think young men never stand upon
engagements; if they have no mind to keep them; little as well as
great。”
Elinor was very angry; but Marianne seemed entirely insensible
of the sting; for she calmly replied;