第 54 节
作者:南方网      更新:2021-02-19 19:55      字数:9242
  when   Marianne;   whose   nerves   could   not   then   bear   any   sudden
  noise; was startled by a rap at the door。
  “Who can this be?” cried Elinor。 “So early too! I thought we had
  been safe。”
  Marianne moved to the window—
  “It is Colonel Brandon!” said she; with vexation。 “We are never
  safe from him。”
  “He will not come in; as Mrs。 Jennings is from home。”
  “I   will  not  trust  to that;”   retreating   to   her   own   room。   “A   man
  who has nothing to do with his own time has no conscience in his
  intrusion on that of others。”
  The event proved   her  conjecture   right;   though  it   was   founded
  on    injustice   and   error;   for  Colonel    Brandon     did    come    in;  and
  Elinor;   who   was   convinced   that   solicitude   for   Marianne   brought
  him     thither;  and    who    saw  that   solicitude    in  his  disturbed     and
  melancholy look; and in his anxious though brief inquiry after her;
  could not forgive her sister for esteeming him so lightly。
  “I   met   Mrs。   Jennings   in   Bond…street;”   said   he;   after   the   first
  salutation;   “and   she   encouraged   me   to   come   on;   and   I   was   the
  more easily encouraged; because I thought it probable that I might
  find you alone; which I was very desirous of doing。 My object—my
  wish—my sole wish in desiring it—I hope; I believe it is—is to be a
  means of giving comfort;—no; I must not say comfort—not present
  comfort—but  conviction; lasting  conviction   to   your   sister’s   mind。
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  My   regard   for   her;   for   yourself;   for   your   mother—will   you   allow
  me to prove it; by relating some circumstances which nothing but
  a  very    sincere   regard—nothing   but       an   earnest   desire   of  being
  useful—I think I am justified—though where so many hours have
  been spent in convincing myself that I am right; is there not some
  reason to fear I may be wrong?” He stopped。
  “I understand you;” said Elinor。 “You have something to tell me
  of   Mr。   Willoughby;     that   will  open   his   character    farther。   Your
  telling it  will   be  the   greatest  act  of  friendship  that  can be   shewn
  Marianne。     My     gratitude    will  be   insured    immediately       by  any
  information tending to that end; and hers must be gained by it in
  time。 Pray; pray let me hear it。”
  “You     shall;  and;   to   be  brief;   when    I  quitted    Barton     last
  October;—but this will give you no idea—I must  go  farther  back。
  You   will   find   me   a  very  awkward      narrator;    Miss   Dashwood;      I
  hardly know where to begin。 A short account of myself; I believe;
  will be necessary; and it shall be a short one。 On such a subject;”
  sighing heavily; “I can have little temptation to be diffuse。”
  He stopt a moment for recollection; and then; with another sigh;
  went on。
  “You have probably entirely forgotten a conversation—(it is not
  to   be  supposed     that   it  could  make    any   impression     on  you)—a
  conversation between us one evening at Barton Park—it was the
  evening of a dance—in which I alluded to a lady I had once known;
  as resembling; in some measure; your sister Marianne。”
  “Indeed;” answered Elinor; “I have not forgotten it。” He looked
  pleased by this remembrance; and added;
  “If I am not deceived by the uncertainty; the partiality of tender
  recollection; there is a very strong resemblance between them; as
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  well    in  mind     as  person。     The    same    warmth      of  heart;    the   same
  eagerness   of   fancy   and   spirits。   This   lady   was   one   of   my   nearest
  relations; an orphan from her infancy; and under the guardianship
  of my father。 Our ages were nearly the same; and from our earliest
  years   we   were   playfellows   and   friends。   I   cannot   remember   the
  time   when   I   did   not   love   Eliza;   and   my   affection   for   her;   as   we
  grew  up;   was   such; as   perhaps;   judging   from   my   present   forlorn
  and   cheerless   gravity;   you   might   think   me   incapable             of  having
  ever felt。 Her’s; for me; was; I believe; fervent as the attachment of
  your sister to Mr。 Willoughby and it was; though from a different
  cause;   no   less   unfortunate。   At   seventeen   she   was   lost   to   me   for
  ever。    She    was    married—married           against    her    inclination     to  my
  brother。      Her    fortune     was    large;   and    our    family    estate    much
  encumbered。 And this; I fear; is all that can be said for the conduct
  of one; who was at once her uncle and guardian。   My  brother  did
  not   deserve   her;   he   did   not   even   love   her。   I   had   hoped   that   her
  regard   for   me   would   support   her   under   any   difficulty;            and   for
  some   time   it   did;   but   at   last   the   misery   of   her   situation;   for   she
  experienced   great   unkindness;   overcame   all   her   resolution;   and
  though      she   had    promised      me    that   nothing—but        how     blindly    I
  relate!  I   have   never  told   you   how   this   was   brought   on。   We   were
  within a few hours of eloping together for Scotland。 The treachery;
  or the folly; of my cousin’s maid betrayed us。 I was banished to the
  house of a relation far distant; and she was allowed no liberty; no
  society;   no   amusement;   till   my   father’s   point   was   gained。   I   had
  depended        on   her   fortitude    too   far;  and    the   blow   was    a  severe
  one—but had her marriage been happy; so young as I then was; a
  few months must have reconciled me to it; or at least I should not
  have now to lament it。 This however was not the case。 My brother
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  had no regard for her; his pleasures were not what they ought  to
  have      been;    and    from     the   first   he   treated     her   unkindly。      The
  consequence          of   this;   upon      a   mind     so   young;      so   lively;    so
  inexperienced          as   Mrs。    Brandon’s;        was    but    too    natural。     She
  resigned       herself   at   first   to   all   the  misery   of   her  situation;     and
  happy had it been if she had not lived to  overcome   those   regrets
  which   the   remembrance   of   me   occasioned。   But   can   we   wonder
  that; with such a husband to provoke inconstancy; and without a
  friend   to   advise   or   restrain   her;   (for   my   father   lived   only   a   few
  months   after   their   marriage;   and   I   was   with  my   regiment   in   the
  East      Indies)    she    should      fall?   Had     I   remained       in   England;
  perhaps—but           I  meant      to  promote       the    happiness       of  both     by
  removing  from   her  for  years;   and   for  that  purpose   had   procured
  my  exchange。   The   shock   which   her   marriage   had   given   me;”   he
  continued;   in   a   voice   of   great   agitation;   “was   of   trifling   weight—
  was     nothing      to   what     I  felt  when      I  heard;     about     two    years
  afterwards;   of  her  divorce。   It  was that  which  threw  this   gloom;—
  even now the recollection of what I suffered—”
  He    could     say   no   more;    and    rising    hastily    walked     for   a  few
  minutes about the room。 Elinor; affected by his relation; and still
  more   by   his   distress;   could   not   speak。   He   saw   her   concern;   and
  coming       to  her;    took    her   hand;     pressed     it;  and    kissed    it  with
  grateful   respect。   A   few   minutes   more   of   silent   exertion   enabled
  him to proceed with composure。
  “It   was   nearly   three   years   after   this   unhappy   period   before   I
  returned       to  England。      My    first  care;    when     I did    arrive;   was    of
  course   to   seek   for   her;   but   the   search   was   as   fruitless   as   it   was
  melancholy。   I   could   not   trace   her   beyond   her   first   seducer;   and
  there   was   every   reason   to   fear   that   she   had   removed   from   him
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