第 46 节
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finally settled? Is it impossible to —? But I have no right; and I
could have no chance of succeeding。 Excuse me; Miss Dashwood。 I
believe I have been wrong in saying so much; but I hardly know
what to do; and on your prudence I have the strongest
dependence。 Tell me that it is all absolutely resolved on; that any
attempt; that in short concealment; if concealment be possible; is
all that remains。”
These words; which conveyed to Elinor a direct avowal of his
love for her sister; affected her very much。 She was not
immediately able to say anything; and even when her spirits were
recovered; she debated for a short time; on the answer it would be
most proper to give。 The real state of things between Willoughby
and her sister was so little known to herself; that in endeavouring
to explain it; she might be as liable to say too much as too little。
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Yet as she was convinced that Marianne’s affection for
Willoughby; could leave no hope of Colonel Brandon’s success;
whatever the event of that affection might be; and at the same
time wished to shield her conduct from censure; she thought it
most prudent and kind; after some consideration; to say more than
she really knew or believed。 She acknowledged; therefore; that
though she had never been informed by themselves of the terms
on which they stood with each other; of their mutual affection she
had no doubt; and of their correspondence she was not astonished
to hear。
He listened to her with silent attention; and on her ceasing to
speak; rose directly from his seat; and after saying in a voice of
emotion; “to your sister I wish all imaginable happiness; to
Willoughby that he may endeavour to deserve her;”—took leave;
and went away。
Elinor derived no comfortable feelings from this conversation;
to lessen the uneasiness of her mind on other points; she was left;
on the contrary; with a melancholy impression of Colonel
Brandon’s unhappiness; and was prevented even from wishing it
removed; by her anxiety for the very event that must confirm it。
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CHAPTER VI
othing occurred during the next three or four days; to
make Elinor regret what she had done; in applying to
N
her mother; for Willoughby neither came nor wrote。
They were engaged about the end of that time to attend Lady
Middleton to a party; from which Mrs。 Jennings was kept away by
the indisposition of her youngest daughter; and for this party;
Marianne; wholly dispirited; careless of her appearance; and
seeming equally indifferent whether she went or staid; prepared;
without one look of hope or one expression of pleasure。 She sat by
the drawing…room fire after tea; till the moment of Lady
Middleton’s arrival; without once stirring from her seat; or altering
her attitude; lost in her own thoughts; and insensible of her sister’s
presence; and when at last they were told that Lady Middleton
waited for them at the door; she started as if she had forgotten that
any one was expected。
They arrived in due time at the place of destination; and as
soon as the string of carriages before them would allow; alighted;
ascended the stairs; heard their names announced from one
landing…place to another in an audible voice; and entered a room
splendidly lit up; quite full of company; and insufferably hot。 When
they had paid their tribute of politeness by curtsying to the lady of
the house; they were permitted to mingle in the crowd; and take
their share of the heat and inconvenience; to which their arrival
must necessarily add。 After some time spent in saying little or
doing less; Lady Middleton sat down to Casino; and as Marianne
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was not in spirits for moving about; she and Elinor luckily
succeeding to chairs; placed themselves at no great distance from
the table。
They had not remained in this manner long; before Elinor
perceived Willoughby; standing within a few yards of them; in
earnest conversation with a very fashionable looking young
woman。 She soon caught his eye; and he immediately bowed; but
without attempting to speak to her; or to approach Marianne;
though he could not but see her; and then continued his discourse
with the same lady。 Elinor turned involuntarily to Marianne; to see
whether it could be unobserved by her。 At that moment she first
perceived him; and her whole countenance glowing with sudden
delight; she would have moved towards him instantly; had not her
sister caught hold of her。
“Good heavens!” she exclaimed; “he is there—he is there—Oh!
why does he not look at me? why cannot I speak to him?”
“Pray; pray be composed;” cried Elinor; “and do not betray
what you feel to every body present。 Perhaps he has not observed
you yet。”
This however was more than she could believe herself; and to
be composed at such a moment was not only beyond the reach of
Marianne; it was beyond her wish。 She sat in an agony of
impatience which affected every feature。
At last he turned round again; and regarded them both; she
started up; and pronouncing his name in a tone of affection; held
out her hand to him。 He approached; and addressing himself
rather to Elinor than Marianne; as if wishing to avoid her eye; and
determined not to observe her attitude; inquired in a hurried
manner after Mrs。 Dashwood; and asked how long they had been
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in town。 Elinor was robbed of all presence of mind by such an
address; and was unable to say a word。 But the feelings of her
sister were instantly expressed。 Her face was crimsoned over; and
she exclaimed; in a voice of the greatest emotion; “Good God!
Willoughby; what is the meaning of this? Have you not received
my letters? Will you not shake hands with me?”
He could not then avoid it; but her touch seemed painful to him;
and he held her hand only for a moment。 During all this time he
was evidently struggling for composure。 Elinor watched his
countenance and saw its expression becoming more tranquil。
After a moment’s pause; he spoke with calmness。
“I did myself the honour of calling in Berkeley…street last
Tuesday; and very much regretted that I was not fortunate enough
to find yourselves and Mrs。 Jennings at home。 My card was not
lost; I hope。”
“But have you not received my notes?” cried Marianne in the
wildest anxiety。 “Here is some mistake I am sure—some dreadful
mistake。 What can be the meaning of it? Tell me; Willoughby; for
heaven’s sake tell me; what is the matter?”
He made no reply; his complexion changed and all his
embarrassment returned; but as if; on catching the eye of the
young lady with whom he had been previously talking; he felt the
necessity of instant exertion; he recovered himself again; and after
saying; “Yes; I had the pleasure of receiving the information of
your arrival in town; which you were so good as to send me;”
turned hastily away with a slight bow and join