第 39 节
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up every prospect of more without a sigh。 I have been always used
to a very small income; and could struggle with any poverty for
him; but I love him too well to be the selfish means of robbing him;
perhaps; of all that his mother might give him if he married to
please her。 We must wait; it may be for many years。 With almost
every other man in the world; it would be an alarming prospect;
but Edward’s affection and constancy nothing can deprive me of I
know。”
“That conviction must be every thing to you; and he is
undoubtedly supported by the same trust in your’s。 If the strength
of your reciprocal attachment had failed; as between many people;
and under many circumstances it naturally would during a four
years’ engagement; your situation would have been pitiable
indeed。”
Lucy here looked up; but Elinor was careful in guarding her
countenance from every expression that could give her words a
suspicious tendency。
“Edward’s love for me;” said Lucy; “has been pretty well put to
the test; by our long; very long absence since we were first
engaged; and it has stood the trial so well; that I should be
unpardonable to doubt it now。 I can safely say that he has never
gave me one moment’s alarm on that account from the first。”
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Elinor hardly knew whether to smile or sigh at this assertion。
Lucy went on。 “I am rather of a jealous temper too by nature;
and from our different situations in life; from his being so much
more in the world than me; and our continual separation; I was
enough inclined for suspicion; to have found out the truth in an
instant; if there had been the slightest alteration in his behaviour
to me when we met; or any lowness of spirits that I could not
account for; or if he had talked more of one lady than another; or
seemed in any respect less happy at Longstaple than he used to
be。 I do not mean to say that I am particularly observant or quick…
sighted in general; but in such a case I am sure I could not be
deceived。”
“All this;” thought Elinor; “is very pretty; but it can impose
upon neither of us。”
“But what;” said she after a short silence; “are your views? or
have you none but that of waiting for Mrs。 Ferrars’s death; which
is a melancholy and shocking extremity?—Is her son determined
to submit to this; and to all the tediousness of the many years of
suspense in which it may involve you; rather than run the risk of
her displeasure for a while by owning the truth?”
“If we could be certain that it would be only for a while! But
Mrs。 Ferrars is a very headstrong proud woman; and in her first fit
of anger upon hearing it; would very likely secure every thing to
Robert; and the idea of that; for Edward’s sake; frightens away all
my inclination for hasty measures。”
“And for your own sake too; or you are carrying your
disinterestedness beyond reason。”
Lucy looked at Elinor again; and was silent。
“Do you know Mr。 Robert Ferrars?” asked Elinor。
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“Not at all—I never saw him; but I fancy he is very unlike his
brother—silly and a great coxcomb。”
“A great coxcomb!” repeated Miss Steele; whose ear had caught
those words by a sudden pause in Marianne’s music。—“Oh; they
are talking of their favourite beaux; I dare say。”
“No sister;” cried Lucy; “you are mistaken there; our favourite
beaux are not great coxcombs。”
“I can answer for it that Miss Dashwood’s is not;” said Mrs。
Jennings; laughing heartily; “for he is one of the modestest;
prettiest behaved young men I ever saw; but as for Lucy; she is
such a sly little creature; there is no finding out who she likes。”
“Oh;” cried Miss Steele; looking significantly round at them; “I
dare say Lucy’s beau is quite as modest and pretty behaved as
Miss Dashwood’s。”
Elinor blushed in spite of herself。 Lucy bit her lip; and looked
angrily at her sister。 A mutual silence took place for some time。
Lucy first put an end to it by saying in a lower tone; though
Marianne was then giving them the powerful protection of a very
magnificent concerto—
“I will honestly tell you of one scheme which has lately come
into my head; for bringing matters to bear; indeed I am bound to
let you into the secret; for you are a party concerned。 I dare say
you have seen enough of Edward to know that he would prefer the
church to every other profession; now my plan is that he should
take orders as soon as he can; and then through your interest;
which I am sure you would be kind enough to use out of friendship
for him; and I hope out of some regard to me; your brother might
be persuaded to give him Norland living; which I understand is a
very good one; and the present incumbent not likely to live a great
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while。 That would be enough for us to marry upon; and we might
trust to time and chance for the rest。”
“I should always be happy;” replied Elinor; “to show any mark
of my esteem and friendship for Mr。 Ferrars; but do not you
perceive that my interest on such an occasion would be perfectly
unnecessary? He is brother to Mrs。 John Dashwood—that must be
recommendation enough to her husband。”
“But Mrs。 John Dashwood would not much approve of
Edward’s going into orders。”
“Then I rather suspect that my interest would do very little。”
They were again silent for many minutes。 At length Lucy
exclaimed with a deep sigh;
“I believe it would be the wisest way to put an end to the
business at once by dissolving the engagement。 We seem so beset
with difficulties on every side; that though it would make us
miserable for a time; we should be happier perhaps in the end。
But you will not give me your advice; Miss Dashwood?”
“No;” answered Elinor; with a smile; which concealed very
agitated feelings; “on such a subject I certainly will not。 You know
very well that my opinion would have no weight with you; unless it
were on the side of your wishes。”
“Indeed you wrong me;” replied Lucy; with great solemnity; “I
know nobody of whose judgment I think so highly as I do of yours;
and I do really believe; that if you was to say to me; ‘I advise you
by all means to put an end to your engagement with Edward
Ferrars; it will be more for the happiness of both of you;’ I should
resolve upon doing it immediately。”
Elinor blushed for the insincerity of Edward’s future wife; and
replied; “This compliment would effectually frighten me from
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giving any opinion on the subject had I formed one。 It raises my
influence much too high; the power of dividing two people so
tenderly attached is too much for an indifferent person。”
“’Tis because you are an indifferent person;” said Lucy; with
some pique; and laying a particular stress on those words; “that
your judgment might justly have such weight with me。 If you could
be supposed to be biased in any respect by your own feelings; your
opinion would not be worth having。”
Elinor thought it wisest to make no answer to this; lest they
might provoke each other to an unsuitable increase