第 35 节
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brother。”
What felt Elinor at that moment? Astonishment; that would
have been as painful as it was strong; had not an immediate
disbelief of the assertion attended it。 She turned towards Lucy in
silent amazement; unable to divine the reason or object of such a
declaration; and though her complexion varied; she stood firm in
incredulity; and felt in no danger of an hysterical fit; or a swoon。
“You may well be surprised;” continued Lucy; “for to be sure
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you could have had no idea of it before; for I dare say he never
dropped the smallest hint of it to you or any of your family;
because it was always meant to be a great secret; and I am sure
has been faithfully kept so by me to this hour。 Not a soul of all my
relations know of it but Anne; and I never should have mentioned
it to you; if I had not felt the greatest dependence in the world
upon your secrecy; and I really thought my behaviour in asking so
many questions about Mrs。 Ferrars must seem so odd; that it
ought to be explained。 And I do not think Mr。 Ferrars can be
displeased; when he knows I have trusted you; because I know he
has the highest opinion in the world of all your family; and looks
upon yourself and the other Miss Dashwoods quite as his own
sisters。”—She paused。
Elinor for a few moments remained silent。 Her astonishment at
what she heard was at first too great for words; but at length
forcing herself to speak; and to speak cautiously; she said; with
calmness of manner; which tolerably well concealed her surprise
and solicitude—“May I ask if your engagement is of long
standing?”
“We have been engaged these four years。”
“Four years!”
“Yes。”
Elinor; though greatly shocked; still felt unable to believe it。
“I did not know;” said she; “that you were even acquainted till
the other day。”
“Our acquaintance; however; is of many years date。 He was
under my uncle’s care; you know; a considerable while。”
“Your uncle!”
“Yes; Mr。 Pratt。 Did you never hear him talk of Mr。 Pratt?”
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“I think I have;” replied Elinor; with an exertion of spirits;
which increased with her increase of emotion。
“He was four years with my uncle; who lives at Longstaple;
near Plymouth。 It was there our acquaintance begun; for my sister
and me was often staying with my uncle; and it was there our
engagement was formed; though not till a year after he had
quitted as a pupil; but he was almost always with us afterwards。 I
was very unwilling to enter into it; as you may imagine; without
the knowledge and approbation of his mother; but I was too
young; and loved him too well; to be so prudent as I ought to have
been。—Though you do not know him so well as me; Miss
Dashwood; you must have seen enough of him to be sensible he is
very capable of making a woman sincerely attached to him。”
“Certainly;” answered Elinor; without knowing what she said;
but after a moment’s reflection; she added; with revived security of
Edward’s honour and love; and her companion’s falsehood—
“Engaged to Mr。 Edward Ferrars!—I confess myself so totally
surprised at what you tell me; that really—I beg your pardon; but
surely there must be some mistake of person or name。 We cannot
mean the same Mr。 Ferrars。”
“We can mean no other;” cried Lucy; smiling。 “Mr。 Edward
Ferrars; the eldest son of Mrs。 Ferrars; of Park…street; and brother
of your sister…in…law; Mrs。 John Dashwood; is the person I mean;
you must allow that I am not likely to be deceived as to the name
of the man on who all my happiness depends。”
“It is strange;” replied Elinor; in a most painful perplexity; “that
I should never have heard him even mention your name。”
“No; considering our situation; it was not strange。 Our first care
has been to keep the matter secret。—You knew nothing of me; or
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my family; and; therefore; there could be no occasion for ever
mentioning my name to you; and as he was always particularly
afraid of his sister’s suspecting any thing; that was reason enough
for his not mentioning it。”
She was silent。—Elinor’s security sunk; but her self…command
did not sink with it。
“Four years you have been engaged;” said she with a firm voice。
“Yes; and heaven knows how much longer we may have to wait。
Poor Edward! It puts him quite out of heart。” Then taking a small
miniature from her pocket; she added; “To prevent the possibility
of mistake; be so good as to look at this face。 It does not do him
justice; to be sure; but yet I think you cannot be deceived as to the
person it was drew for。—I have had it above these three years。”
She put it into her hands as she spoke; and when Elinor saw the
painting; whatever other doubts her fear of a too hasty decision; or
her wish of detecting falsehood might suffer to linger in her mind;
she could have none of its being Edward’s face。 She returned it
almost instantly; acknowledging the likeness。
“I have never been able;” continued Lucy; “to give him my
picture in return; which I am very much vexed at; for he has been
always so anxious to get it! But I am determined to set for it the
very first opportunity。”
“You are quite in the right;” replied Elinor calmly。 They then
proceeded a few paces in silence。 Lucy spoke first。
“I am sure;” said she; “I have no doubt in the world of your
faithfully keeping this secret; because you must know of what
importance it is to us; not to have it reach his mother; for she
would never approve of it; I dare say。 I shall have no fortune; and I
fancy she is an exceeding proud woman。”
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“I certainly did not seek your confidence;” said Elinor; “but you
do me no more than justice in imagining that I may be depended
on。 Your secret is safe with me; but pardon me if I express some
surprise at so unnecessary a communication。 You must at least
have felt that my being acquainted with it could not add to its
safety。”
As she said this; she looked earnestly at Lucy; hoping to
discover something in her countenance; perhaps the falsehood of
the greatest part of what she had been saying; but Lucy’s
countenance suffered no change。
“I was afraid you would think I was taking a great liberty with
you;” said she; “in telling you all this。 I have not known you long to
be sure; personally at least; but I have known you and all your
family by description a great while; and as soon as I saw you; I felt
almost as if you was an old acquaintance。 Besides in the present
case; I really thought some explanation was due to you after my
making such particular inquiries about Edward’s mother; and I
am so unfortunate; that I have not a creature whose advice I can
ask。 Anne is the only person that knows of it; and she has no
judgment at all; indeed; she does me a great deal more harm than
good; for I am in constant fear of her betraying me。 She does not
know how to hold her tongue; as you must perceive; and I am sure
I was in the greatest fright in the world t’other day; when
Edward’s name