第 28 节
作者:南方网      更新:2021-02-19 19:55      字数:9279
  so much of your time。 But (with a smile) you would be materially
  benefited in one particular at least—you would know where to go
  when you left them。”
  “I do assure you;” he replied; “that I have long thought on this
  point;   as   you   think   now。   It   has   been;   and   is;   and   probably   will
  always be a heavy misfortune to me; that I have had no necessary
  business to engage me; no profession   to  give   me   employment;   or
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  afford me any thing like independence。 But unfortunately my own
  nicety; and the nicety of my friends; have made me what I am; an
  idle;   helpless    being。    We    never    could   agree    in  our   choice    of  a
  profession。   I   always   preferred   the   church;   as   I   still   do。   But   that
  was     not  smart    enough      for  my    family。   They    recommended          the
  army。 That was a great deal too smart for me。 The law was allowed
  to be genteel enough; many young men; who had chambers in the
  Temple;   made   a   very   good   appearance   in   the          first   circles;   and
  drove about town   in   very  knowing  gigs。   But  I   had no  inclination
  for the law; even in this less abstruse study of it; which my family
  approved。 As for the navy; it had fashion on its side; but I was too
  old when the subject was first started to enter it—and; at length; as
  there   was   no   necessity   for   my   having   any   profession   at   all;   as   I
  might be as dashing and expensive without a red coat on my back
  as   with   one;   idleness   was   pronounced   on   the   whole   to   be   most
  advantageous and honourable; and a young man of eighteen is not
  in    general    so   earnestly     bent   on   being     busy    as  to   resist   the
  solicitations of his friends to do nothing。 I was therefore entered at
  Oxford and have been properly idle ever since。”
  “The     consequence       of  which;     I  suppose;     will  be;”   said   Mrs。
  Dashwood; “since leisure   has not  promoted   your  own   happiness;
  that     your    sons    will   be    brought      up   to   as    many     pursuits;
  employments; professions; and trades as Columella’s。”
  “They will be brought up;” said he; in a serious accent; “to be as
  unlike   myself  as   is   possible。   In   feeling;   in  action;   in   condition;   in
  every thing。”
  “Come; come; this is all an effusion of immediate want of spirits;
  Edward。 You are in a melancholy humour; and fancy that any one
  unlike   yourself   must   be   happy。   But   remember   that   the   pain   of
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  parting from friends will be felt by every body at times; whatever
  be their education or state。 Know your own happiness。 You want
  nothing   but   patience—or   give   it   a   more   fascinating  name;   call   it
  hope。 Your mother will secure to you; in time; that independence
  you are so anxious for; it is her duty; and it will; it must ere long
  become   her   happiness   to   prevent   your   whole   youth   from   being
  wasted in discontent。 How much may not a few months do?”
  “I   think;”   replied   Edward;   “that   I   may   defy   many   months   to
  produce any good to me。”
  This     desponding       turn    of   mind;    though      it  could    not    be
  communicated to Mrs。 Dashwood; gave additional pain to them all
  in the parting; which shortly took place; and left an uncomfortable
  impression   on   Elinor’s   feelings   especially;   which   required   some
  trouble   and   time   to   subdue。   But   as   it   was   her   determination   to
  subdue   it;   and   to   prevent   herself   from   appearing   to   suffer   more
  than   what  all   her  family  suffered   on   his   going  away;   she   did   not
  adopt     the   method     so   judiciously    employed      by   Marianne;      on  a
  similar     occasion;    to   augment      and    fix  her   sorrow;    by   seeking
  silence;   solitude   and   idleness。   Their   means   were   as   different   as
  their objects; and equally suited to the advancement of each。
  Elinor sat down to her drawing…table as soon as he was out  of
  the house; busily employed herself the whole day; neither sought
  nor avoided the mention of his name; appeared to interest herself
  almost as much as ever in the general concerns of the family; and
  if; by this conduct; she did not lessen her own grief; it was at least
  prevented from unnecessary increase; and her mother and sisters
  were spared much solicitude on her account。
  Such     behaviour     as   this;  so  exactly    the   reverse    of  her   own;
  appeared   no   more   meritorious   to   Marianne;   than   her   own   had
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  seemed   faulty   to   her。   The   business   of   self…command   she   settled
  very   easily;—with   strong   affections   it   was   impossible;   with   calm
  ones it could have no merit。 That her sister’s affections were calm;
  she dared not deny; though she blushed to acknowledge it; and of
  the   strength   of   her   own;   she   gave   a   very   striking   proof;   by   still
  loving     and    respecting      that    sister;   in   spite   of   this   mortifying
  conviction。
  Without      shutting     herself    up   from    her   family;    or  leaving     the
  house   in   determined   solitude   to   avoid   them;   or   lying   awake   the
  whole      night     to  indulge      meditation;      Elinor     found     every     day
  afforded her leisure enough to think of Edward; and of Edward’s
  behaviour;   in   every   possible   variety   which   the   different   state   of
  her    spirits   at   different    times    could    produce;—with         tenderness;
  pity;   approbation;   censure;   and   doubt。   There   were   moments   in
  abundance; when; if not by the absence of her mother and sisters;
  at   least   by   the   nature    of  their   employments;         conversation       was
  forbidden among them; and every effect of solitude was produced。
  Her   mind      was   inevitably   at   liberty;     her   thoughts      could    not   be
  chained   elsewhere;   and   the   past   and   the   future;   on   a   subject   so
  interesting;      must    be   before    her;   must     force   her   attention;     and
  engross her memory; her reflection; and her fancy。
  From a reverie of this kind; as she sat at her drawing…table; she
  was roused one morning; soon after Edward’s leaving them; by the
  arrival of company。 She happened to be quite alone。 The closing of
  the   little   gate;   at   the   entrance   of   the   green   court   in   front   of   the
  house;   drew   her   eyes   to   the   window;   and   she   saw   a   large   party
  walking   up   to   the   door。   Amongst   them   were   Sir   John   and   Lady
  Middleton        and    Mrs。    Jennings;      but   there     were    two    others;    a
  gentleman   and   lady;   who   were   quite   unknown   to   her。   She   was
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  sitting near the window; and as soon as Sir John perceived her; he
  left the rest of the party to the ceremony of knocking at the door;
  and stepping across the turf; obliged her to open the casement to
  speak to him; though the space was so short between the door and
  the window; as to make it hardly possible to speak at one without
  being heard at the other。
  “Well;” said he; “we have brought you some strangers。 How do
  you like them?”
  “Hush! they will hear you。”
  “Never mind if they do。 It is only the Palmers。 Charlotte is very
  pretty; I can tell you。 You may see her if you look this way。”
  As   Elinor   was   certain    of  seeing   her   in   a  couple  of  minutes;
  without taking that liberty; she begged to be excused。
  “Where is Marianne? Has she run away because we are come? I
  see her instrument is open。”
  “She is walking; I believe。”
  They were now joined by Mrs。 Jennings; who had not patience
  enough to wait till the door was opened before she told her story。
  She   came   hallooing   to   the   window;   “How   do   you   do;   my   dear?
  How does Mrs。 Dashwood do? And where are your sisters? What!
  all alone! you