第 28 节
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so much of your time。 But (with a smile) you would be materially
benefited in one particular at least—you would know where to go
when you left them。”
“I do assure you;” he replied; “that I have long thought on this
point; as you think now。 It has been; and is; and probably will
always be a heavy misfortune to me; that I have had no necessary
business to engage me; no profession to give me employment; or
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afford me any thing like independence。 But unfortunately my own
nicety; and the nicety of my friends; have made me what I am; an
idle; helpless being。 We never could agree in our choice of a
profession。 I always preferred the church; as I still do。 But that
was not smart enough for my family。 They recommended the
army。 That was a great deal too smart for me。 The law was allowed
to be genteel enough; many young men; who had chambers in the
Temple; made a very good appearance in the first circles; and
drove about town in very knowing gigs。 But I had no inclination
for the law; even in this less abstruse study of it; which my family
approved。 As for the navy; it had fashion on its side; but I was too
old when the subject was first started to enter it—and; at length; as
there was no necessity for my having any profession at all; as I
might be as dashing and expensive without a red coat on my back
as with one; idleness was pronounced on the whole to be most
advantageous and honourable; and a young man of eighteen is not
in general so earnestly bent on being busy as to resist the
solicitations of his friends to do nothing。 I was therefore entered at
Oxford and have been properly idle ever since。”
“The consequence of which; I suppose; will be;” said Mrs。
Dashwood; “since leisure has not promoted your own happiness;
that your sons will be brought up to as many pursuits;
employments; professions; and trades as Columella’s。”
“They will be brought up;” said he; in a serious accent; “to be as
unlike myself as is possible。 In feeling; in action; in condition; in
every thing。”
“Come; come; this is all an effusion of immediate want of spirits;
Edward。 You are in a melancholy humour; and fancy that any one
unlike yourself must be happy。 But remember that the pain of
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parting from friends will be felt by every body at times; whatever
be their education or state。 Know your own happiness。 You want
nothing but patience—or give it a more fascinating name; call it
hope。 Your mother will secure to you; in time; that independence
you are so anxious for; it is her duty; and it will; it must ere long
become her happiness to prevent your whole youth from being
wasted in discontent。 How much may not a few months do?”
“I think;” replied Edward; “that I may defy many months to
produce any good to me。”
This desponding turn of mind; though it could not be
communicated to Mrs。 Dashwood; gave additional pain to them all
in the parting; which shortly took place; and left an uncomfortable
impression on Elinor’s feelings especially; which required some
trouble and time to subdue。 But as it was her determination to
subdue it; and to prevent herself from appearing to suffer more
than what all her family suffered on his going away; she did not
adopt the method so judiciously employed by Marianne; on a
similar occasion; to augment and fix her sorrow; by seeking
silence; solitude and idleness。 Their means were as different as
their objects; and equally suited to the advancement of each。
Elinor sat down to her drawing…table as soon as he was out of
the house; busily employed herself the whole day; neither sought
nor avoided the mention of his name; appeared to interest herself
almost as much as ever in the general concerns of the family; and
if; by this conduct; she did not lessen her own grief; it was at least
prevented from unnecessary increase; and her mother and sisters
were spared much solicitude on her account。
Such behaviour as this; so exactly the reverse of her own;
appeared no more meritorious to Marianne; than her own had
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seemed faulty to her。 The business of self…command she settled
very easily;—with strong affections it was impossible; with calm
ones it could have no merit。 That her sister’s affections were calm;
she dared not deny; though she blushed to acknowledge it; and of
the strength of her own; she gave a very striking proof; by still
loving and respecting that sister; in spite of this mortifying
conviction。
Without shutting herself up from her family; or leaving the
house in determined solitude to avoid them; or lying awake the
whole night to indulge meditation; Elinor found every day
afforded her leisure enough to think of Edward; and of Edward’s
behaviour; in every possible variety which the different state of
her spirits at different times could produce;—with tenderness;
pity; approbation; censure; and doubt。 There were moments in
abundance; when; if not by the absence of her mother and sisters;
at least by the nature of their employments; conversation was
forbidden among them; and every effect of solitude was produced。
Her mind was inevitably at liberty; her thoughts could not be
chained elsewhere; and the past and the future; on a subject so
interesting; must be before her; must force her attention; and
engross her memory; her reflection; and her fancy。
From a reverie of this kind; as she sat at her drawing…table; she
was roused one morning; soon after Edward’s leaving them; by the
arrival of company。 She happened to be quite alone。 The closing of
the little gate; at the entrance of the green court in front of the
house; drew her eyes to the window; and she saw a large party
walking up to the door。 Amongst them were Sir John and Lady
Middleton and Mrs。 Jennings; but there were two others; a
gentleman and lady; who were quite unknown to her。 She was
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sitting near the window; and as soon as Sir John perceived her; he
left the rest of the party to the ceremony of knocking at the door;
and stepping across the turf; obliged her to open the casement to
speak to him; though the space was so short between the door and
the window; as to make it hardly possible to speak at one without
being heard at the other。
“Well;” said he; “we have brought you some strangers。 How do
you like them?”
“Hush! they will hear you。”
“Never mind if they do。 It is only the Palmers。 Charlotte is very
pretty; I can tell you。 You may see her if you look this way。”
As Elinor was certain of seeing her in a couple of minutes;
without taking that liberty; she begged to be excused。
“Where is Marianne? Has she run away because we are come? I
see her instrument is open。”
“She is walking; I believe。”
They were now joined by Mrs。 Jennings; who had not patience
enough to wait till the door was opened before she told her story。
She came hallooing to the window; “How do you do; my dear?
How does Mrs。 Dashwood do? And where are your sisters? What!
all alone! you