park　and　garden　are　now　in　rather　a　faded　condition；
  and　not　more　than　ten　times　big　enough　to　accommodate
  the　Court　of　the　reigning　Sovereign。
  The　gardens　were　arranged　to　emulate　those　of
  Versailles；　and　amidst　the　terraces　and　groves　there　are
  some　huge　allegorical　waterworks　still；　which　spout　and
  froth　stupendously　upon　fete…days；　and　frighten　one
  with　their　enormous　aquatic　insurrections。　　There　is　the
  Trophonius'　cave　in　which；　by　some　artifice；　the　leaden
  Tritons　are　made　not　only　to　spout　water；　but　to　play
  the　most　dreadful　groans　out　of　their　lead　conchsthere
  is　the　nymphbath　and　the　Niagara　cataract；　which　the
  people　of　the　neighbourhood　admire　beyond　expression；
  when　they　come　to　the　yearly　fair　at　the　opening　of　the
  Chamber；　or　to　the　fetes　with　which　the　happy　little　nation
  still　celebrates　the　birthdays　and　marriage…days　of　its
  princely　governors。
  Then　from　all　the　towns　of　the　Duchy；　which　stretches
  for　nearly　ten　milefrom　Bolkum；　which　lies　on
  its　western　frontier　bidding　defiance　to　Prussia；　from
  Grogwitz；　where　the　Prince　has　a　hunting…lodge；　and
  where　his　dominions　are　separated　by　the　Pump　River
  from　those　of　the　neighbouring　Prince　of　Potzenthal；　from
  all　the　little　villages；　which　besides　these　three　great
  cities；　dot　over　the　happy　principalityfrom　the　farms
  and　the　mills　along　the　Pump　come　troops　of　people　in
  red　petticoats　and　velvet　head…dresses；　or　with　three…
  cornered　hats　and　pipes　in　their　mouths；　who　flock　to　the
  Residenz　and　share　in　the　pleasures　of　the　fair　and　the
  festivities　there。　　Then　the　theatre　is　open　for　nothing；
  then　the　waters　of　Monblaisir　begin　to　play　（it　is　lucky
  that　there　is　company　to　behold　them；　for　one　would　be
  afraid　to　see　them　alone）then　there　come　mountebanks
  and　riding　troops　（the　way　in　which　his　Transparency
  was　fascinated　by　one　of　the　horse…riders　is　well　known；
  and　it　is　believed　that　La　Petite　Vivandiere；　as　she　was
  called；　was　a　spy　in　the　French　interest）；　and　the　delighted
  people　are　permitted　to　march　through　room　after　room
  of　the　Grand　Ducal　palace　and　admire　the　slippery
  floor；　the　rich　hangings；　and　the　spittoons　at　the
  doors　of　all　the　innumerable　chambers。　　There　is　one
  Pavilion　at　Monblaisir　which　Aurelius　Victor　XV　had
  arrangeda　great　Prince　but　too　fond　of　pleasureand
  which　I　am　told　is　a　perfect　wonder　of　licentious　elegance。
  It　is　painted　with　the　story　of　Bacchus　and　Ariadne；　and
  the　table　works　in　and　out　of　the　room　by　means　of　a
  windlass；　so　that　the　company　was　served　without　any
  intervention　of　domestics。　　But　the　place　was　shut　up　by
  Barbara；　Aurelius　XV's　widow；　a　severe　and　devout
  Princess　of　the　House　of　Bolkum　and　Regent　of　the　Duchy
  during　her　son's　glorious　minority；　and　after　the　death
  of　her　husband；　cut　off　in　the　pride　of　his　pleasures。
  The　theatre　of　Pumpernickel　is　known　and　famous　in
  that　quarter　of　Germany。　　It　languished　a　little　when　the
  present　Duke　in　his　youth　insisted　upon　having　his　own
  operas　played　there；　and　it　is　said　one　day；　in　a　fury；
  from　his　place　in　the　orchestra；　when　he　attended　a
  rehearsal；　broke　a　bassoon　on　the　head　of　the　Chapel
  Master；　who　was　conducting；　and　led　too　slow；　and　during
  which　time　the　Duchess　Sophia　wrote　domestic　comedies；
  which　must　have　been　very　dreary　to　witness。　　But　the
  Prince　executes　his　music　in　private　now；　and　the　Duchess
  only　gives　away　her　plays　to　the　foreigners　of　distinction
  who　visit　her　kind　little　Court。
  It　is　conducted　with　no　small　comfort　and　splendour。
  When　there　are　balls；　though　there　may　be　four
  hundred　people　at　supper；　there　is　a　servant　in　scarlet　and
  lace　to　attend　upon　every　four；　and　every　one　is　served
  on　silver。　　There　are　festivals　and　entertainments　going
  continually　on；　and　the　Duke　has　his　chamberlains　and
  equerries；　and　the　Duchess　her　mistress　of　the　wardrobe
  and　ladies　of　honour；　just　like　any　other　and　more
  potent　potentates。
  The　Constitution　is　or　was　a　moderate　despotism；
  tempered　by　a　Chamber　that　might　or　might　not　be
  elected。　　I　never　certainly　could　hear　of　its　sitting　in　my　time
  at　Pumpernickel。　　The　Prime　Minister　had　lodgings　in　a
  second　floor；　and　the　Foreign　Secretary　occupied　the
  comfortable　lodgings　over　Zwieback's　Conditorey。　　The
  army　consisted　of　a　magnificent　band　that　also　did　duty
  on　the　stage；　where　it　was　quite　pleasant　to　see　the
  worthy　fellows　marching　in　Turkish　dresses　with　rouge　on
  and　wooden　scimitars；　or　as　Roman　warriors　with
  ophicleides　and　trombonesto　see　them　again；　I　say；　at
  night；　after　one　had　listened　to　them　all　the　morning　in
  the　Aurelius　Platz；　where　they　performed　opposite　the
  cafe　where　we　breakfasted。　　Besides　the　band；　there　was
  a　rich　and　numerous　staff　of　officers；　and；　I　believe；　a
  few　men。　　Besides　the　regular　sentries；　three　or　four　men；
  habited　as　hussars；　used　to　do　duty　at　the　Palace；　but　I
  never　saw　them　on　horseback；　and　au　fait；　what　was　the
  use　of　cavalry　in　a　time　of　profound　peace？and　whither
  the　deuce　should　the　hussars　ride？
  Everybodyeverybody　that　was　noble　of　course；　for
  as　for　the　bourgeois　we　could　not　quite　be　expected　to
  take　notice　of　THEMvisited　his　neighbour。　　H。　　E。　　Madame
  de　Burst　received　once　a　week；　H。　　E。　　Madame　de
  Schnurrbart　had　her　nightthe　theatre　was　open　twice
  a　week；　the　Court　graciously　received　once；　so　that　a
  man's　life　might　in　fact　be　a　perfect　round　of　pleasure　in
  the　unpretending　Pumpernickel　way。
  That　there　were　feuds　in　the　place；　no　one　can　deny。
  Politics　ran　very　high　at　Pumpernickel；　and　parties　were
  very　bitter。　　There　was　the　Strumpff　faction　and　the
  Lederlung　party；　the　one　supported　by　our　envoy　and　the
  other　by　the　French　Charge　d'Affaires；　M。　　de　Macabau。
  Indeed　it　sufficed　for　our　Minister　to　stand　up　for
  Madame　Strumpff；　who　was　clearly　the　greater　singer　of　the
  two；　and　had　three　more　notes　in　her　voice　than　Madame
  Lederlung　her　rivalit　sufficed；　I　say；　for　our　Minister　to
  advance　any　opinion　to　have　it　instantly　contradicted
  by　the　French　diplomatist。
  Everybody　in　the　town　was　ranged　in　one　or　other　of
  these　factions。　　The　Lederlung　was　a　prettyish　little
  creature　certainly；　and　her　voice　（what　there　was　of　it）　was
  very　sweet；　and　there　is　no　doubt　that　the　Strumpff　was
  not　in　her　first　youth　and　beauty；　and　certainly　too　stout；
  when　she　came　on　in　the　last　scene　of　the　Sonnambula；
  for　instance；　in　her　night…chemise　with　a　lamp　in　her
  hand；　and　had　to　go　out　of　the　window；　and　pass　over
  the　plank　of　the　mill；　it　was　all　she　could　do　to
  squeeze　out　of　the　window；　and　the　plank　used　to　bend
  and　creak　again　under　her　weightbut　how　she　poured
  out　the　finale　of　the　opera！　　and　with　what　a　burst　of
  feeling　she　rushed　into　Elvino's　armsalmost　fit　to
  smother　him！　　Whereas　the　little　Lederlungbut　a　truce
  to　this　gossipthe　fact　is　that　these　two　women　were
  the　two　flags　of　the　French　and　the　English　party　at
  Pumpernickel；　and　the　society　was　divided　in　its
  allegiance　to　those　two　great　nations。
  We　had　on　our　side　the　Home　Minister；　the　Master　of
  the　Horse；　the　Duke's　Private　Secretary；　and　the　Prince's
  Tutor；　whereas　of　the　French　party　were　the　Foreign
  Minister；　the　Commander…in…Chief's　Lady；　who　had
  served　under　Napoleon；　and　the　Hof…Marschall　and　his
  wife；　who　was　glad　enough　to　get　the　fashions　from
  Pans；　and　always　had　them　and　her　caps　by　M。　　de
  Macabau's　courier。　　The　Secretary　of　his　Chancery　was　little
  Grignac；　a　young　fellow；　as　malicious　as　Satan；　and　who
  made　caricatures　of　Tapeworm　in　all　the…albums　of　the
  place。
  Their　headquarters　and　table　d'hote　were　established
  at　the　Pariser　Hof；　the　other　inn　of　the　town；　and　though；
  of　course；　these　gentlemen　were　obliged　to　be　civil　in
  public；　yet　they　cut　at　each　other　with　epigrams　that
  were　as　sharp　as　razors；　as　I　have　seen　a　couple　of
  wrestlers　in　Devonshire；　lashing　at　each　other's　shins
  and　never　showing　their　agony　upon　a　muscle　of　their
  faces。　　Neither　Tapeworm　nor　Macabau　ever　sent　home
  a　dispatch　to　his　government　without　a　most　savage
  series　of　attacks　upon　his　rival。　　For　instance；　on　our　side
  we　would　write；　〃The　interests　of　Great　Britain　in　this
  place；　and　throughout　the　whole　of　Germany；　are　perilled
  by　the　continuance　in　office　of　the　present　French　envoy；
  this　man　is　of　a　character　so　infamous　that　he　will　stick
  at　no　falsehood；　or　hesitate　at　no　crime；　to　attain　his
  ends。　　He　poisons　the　mind　of　the　Court　against　the
  English　minister；　represents　the　conduct　of　Great　Britain　in
  the　most　odious　and　atrocious　light；　and　is　unhappily
  backed　by　a　minister　whose　ignorance　and　necessities
  are　as　notorious　as　his　influence　is　fatal。〃　On　their　side
  they　would。say；　〃M。　　de　Tapeworm　continues　his
  system　of　stupid　insular　arrogance　and　vulgar　falsehood
  against　the　greatest　nation　in　the　world。　　Yesterday　he
  was　heard　to　speak　lightly　of　Her　Royal　Highness　Madame
  the　Duchess　of　Berri；　on　a　former　occasion　he　insulted
  the　heroic　Duke　of　Angouleme　and　dared　to　insinuate
  that　H。R。H。　　the　Duke　of　Orleans　was　conspiring　against
  the　august　throne　of　the　lilies。　　His　gold　is　prodigated　in
  every　direction　which　his　stupid　menaces　fail　to　frighten。
  By　one　and　the　other；　he　has　won　over　creatures　of　the
  Court　hereand；　in　fine；　Pumpernickel　will