evening　in　a　society　of　greengrocers；　let　us　say；　it　is
  probable　that　our　conversation　would　not　be　brilliant；　if；　on
  the　other　hand；　a　greengrocer　should　find　himself　at　your
  refined　and　polite　tea…table；　where　everybody　was　saying
  witty　things；　and　everybody　of　fashion　and　repute　tearing
  her　friends　to　pieces　in　the　most　delightful　manner；　it　is
  possible　that　the　stranger　would　not　be　very　talkative　and
  by　no　means　interesting　or　interested。
  And　it　must　be　remembered　that　this　poor　lady　had
  never　met　a　gentleman　in　her　life　until　this　present
  moment。　　Perhaps　these　are　rarer　personages　than　some　of
  us　think　for。　　Which　of　us　can　point　out　many　such　in　his
  circlemen　whose　aims　are　generous；　whose　truth　is
  constant；　and　not　only　constant　in　its　kind　but　elevated
  in　its　degree；　whose　want　of　meanness　makes　them
  simple；　who　can　look　the　world　honestly　in　the　face　with
  an　equal　manly　sympathy　for　the　great　and　the　small？
  We　all　know　a　hundred　whose　coats　are　very　well　made；
  and　a　score　who　have　excellent　manners；　and　one　or　two
  happy　beings　who　are　what　they　call　in　the　inner　circles；
  and　have　shot　into　the　very　centre　and　bull's…eye　of　the
  fashion；　but　of　gentlemen　how　many？　Let　us　take　a　little
  scrap　of　paper　and　each　make　out　his　list。
  My　friend　the　Major　I　write；　without　any　doubt；　in
  mine。　　He　had　very　long　legs；　a　yellow　face；　and　a　slight
  lisp；　which　at　first　was　rather　ridiculous。　　But　his　thoughts
  were　just；　his　brains　were　fairly　good；　his　life　was　honest
  and　pure；　and　his　heart　warm　and　humble。　　He　certainly
  had　very　large　hands　and　feet；　which　the　two　George
  Osbornes　used　to　caricature　and　laugh　at；　and　their　jeers
  and　laughter　perhaps　led　poor　little　Emmy　astray　as　to
  his　worth。　　But　have　we　not　all　been　misled　about　our
  heroes　and　changed　our　opinions　a　hundred　times？　Emmy；
  in　this　happy　time；　found　that　hers　underwent　a　very　great
  change　in　respect　of　the　merits　of　the　Major。
  Perhaps　it　was　the　happiest　time　of　both　their　lives；
  indeed；　if　they　did　but　know　itand　who　does？　Which
  of　us　can　point　out　and　say　that　was　the　culmination
  that　was　the　summit　of　human　joy？　But　at　all　events；
  this　couple　were　very　decently　contented；　and　enjoyed
  as　pleasant　a　summer　tour　as　any　pair　that　left　England
  that　year。　　Georgy　was　always　present　at　the　play；　but
  it　was　the　Major　who　put　Emmy's　shawl　on　after　the
  entertainment；　and　in　the　walks　and　excursions　the　young
  lad　would　be　on　ahead；　and　up　a　tower…stair　or　a　tree；
  whilst　the　soberer　couple　were　below；　the　Major　smoking
  his　cigar　with　great　placidity　and　constancy；　whilst　Emmy
  sketched　the　site　or　the　ruin。　　It　was　on　this　very　tour　that
  I；　the　present　writer　of　a　history　of　which　every　word　is
  true；　had　the　pleasure　to　see　them　first　and　to　make　their
  acquaintance。
  It　was　at　the　little　comfortable　Ducal　town　of
  Pumpernickel　（that　very　place　where　Sir　Pitt　Crawley
  had　been　so　distinguished　as　an　attache；　but　that　was　in
  early　early　days；　and　before　the　news　of　the　Battle　of
  Austerlitz　sent　all　the　English　diplomatists　in　Germany　to
  the　right　about）　that　I　first　saw　Colonel　Dobbin　and
  his　party。　　They　had　arrived　with　the　carriage　and　courier
  at　the　Erbprinz　Hotel；　the　best　of　the　town；　and　the　whole
  party　dined　at　the　table　d'hote。　　Everybody　remarked
  the　majesty　of　Jos　and　the　knowing　way　in　which　he
  sipped；　or　rather　sucked；　the　Johannisberger；　which　he
  ordered　for　dinner。　　The　little　boy；　too；　we　observed；　had
  a　famous　appetite；　and　consumed　schinken；　and　braten；
  and　kartoffeln；　and　cranberry　jam；　and　salad；　and
  pudding；　and　roast　fowls；　and　sweetmeats；　with　a　gallantry
  that　did　honour　to　his　nation。　　After　about　fifteen　dishes；
  he　concluded　the　repast　with　dessert；　some　of　which　he
  even　carried　out　of　doors；　for　some　young　gentlemen　at
  table；　amused　with　his　coolness　and　gallant　free…and…easy
  manner；　induced　him　to　pocket　a　handful　of　macaroons；
  which　he　discussed　on　his　way　to　the　theatre；　whither
  everybody　went　in　the　cheery　social　little　German　place。
  The　lady　in　black；　the　boy's　mamma；　laughed　and　blushed；
  and　looked　exceedingly　pleased　and　shy　as　the　dinner
  went　on；　and　at　the　various　feats　and　instances　of
  espieglerie　on　the　part　of　her　son。　　The　Colonel
  for　so　he　became　very　soon　afterwardsI　remember
  joked　the　boy　with　a　great　deal　of　grave　fun；　pointing
  out　dishes　which　he　hadn't　tried；　and　entreating　him　not
  to　baulk　his　appetite；　but　to　have　a　second　supply　of
  this　or　that。
  It　was　what　they　call　a　gast…rolle　night　at　the　Royal
  Grand　Ducal　Pumpernickelisch　Hofor　Court　theatre
  and　Madame　Schroeder　Devrient；　then　in　the　bloom　of
  her　beauty　and　genius；　performed　the　part　of　the　heroine
  in　the　wonderful　opera　of　Fidelio。　　From　our　places　in　the
  stalls　we　could　see　our　four　friends　of　the　table　d'hote
  in　the　loge　which　Schwendler　of　the　Erbprinz　kept　for　his
  best　guests；　and　I　could　not　help　remarking　the　effect
  which　the　magnificent　actress　and　music　produced　upon
  Mrs。　Osborne；　for　so　we　heard　the　stout　gentleman　in
  the　mustachios　call　her。　　During　the　astonishing　Chorus
  of　the　Prisoners；　over　which　the　delightful　voice　of　the
  actress　rose　and　soared　in　the　most　ravishing　harmony；
  the　English　lady's　face　wore　such　an　expression　of　wonder
  and　delight　that　it　struck　even　little　Fipps；　the　blase
  attache；　who　drawled　out；　as　he　fixed　his　glass　upon　her；
  〃Gayd；　it　really　does　one　good　to　see　a　woman　caypable
  of　that　stayt　of　excaytement。〃　And　in　the　Prison　Scene；
  where　Fidelio；　rushing　to　her　husband；　cries；　〃Nichts；
  nichts；　mein　Florestan；〃　she　fairly　lost　herself　and
  covered　her　face　with　her　handkerchief。　　Every　woman　in　the
  house　was　snivelling　at　the　time；　but　I　suppose　it　was
  because　it　was　predestined　that　I　was　to　write　this
  particular　lady's　memoirs　that　I　remarked　her。
  The　next　day　they　gave　another　piece　of　Beethoven；
  Die　Schlacht　bei　Vittoria。　　Malbrook　is　introduced　at　the
  beginning　of　the　performance；　as　indicative　of　the　brisk
  advance　of　the　French　army。　　Then　come　drums；　trumpets；
  thunders　of　artillery；　and　groans　of　the　dying；　and　at　last；
  in　a　grand　triumphal　swell；　〃God　Save　the　King〃　is
  performed。
  There　may　have　been　a　score　of　Englishmen　in　the
  house；　but　at　the　burst　of　that　beloved　and　well…known
  music；　every　one　of　them；　we　young　fellows　in　the　stalls；
  Sir　John　and　Lady　Bullminster　（who　had　taken　a　house
  at　Pumpernickel　for　the　education　of　their　nine
  children）；　the　fat　gentleman　with　the　mustachios；　the　long
  Major　in　white　duck　trousers；　and　the　lady　with　the　little
  boy　upon　whom　he　was　so　sweet；　even　Kirsch；　the　courier
  in　the　gallery；　stood　bolt　upright　in　their　places　and
  proclaimed　themselves　to　be　members　of　the　dear　old　British
  nation。　　As　for　Tapeworm；　the　Charge　d'Affaires；　he　rose
  up　in　his　box　and　bowed　and　simpered；　as　if　he　would
  represent　the　whole　empire。　　Tapeworm　was　nephew　and
  heir　of　old　Marshal　Tiptoff；　who　has　been　introduced　in
  this　story　as　General　Tiptoff；　just　before　Waterloo；　who
  was　Colonel　of　the　th　regiment　in　which　Major　Dobbin
  served；　and　who　died　in　this　year　full　of　honours；　and　of
  an　aspic　of　plovers'　eggs；　when　the　regiment　was　graciously
  given　by　his　Majesty　to　Colonel　Sir　Michael　O'Dowd；
  K。C。B。　　who　had　commanded　it　in　many　glorious　fields。
  Tapeworm　must　have　met　with　Colonel　Dobbin　at　the
  house　of　the　Colonel's　Colonel；　the　Marshal；　for　he
  recognized　him　on　this　night　at　the　theatre；　and　with　the
  utmost　condescension；　his　Majesty's　minister　came　over
  from　his　own　box　and　publicly　shook　hands　with　his
  new…found　friend。
  〃Look　at　that　infernal　sly…boots　of　a　Tapeworm；〃
  Fipps　whispered；　examining　his　chief　from　the　stalls。
  〃Wherever　there's　a　pretty　woman　he　always　twists
  himself　in。〃　And　I　wonder　what　were　diplomatists　made　for
  but　for　that？
  〃Have　I　the　honour　of　addressing　myself　to　Mrs。
  Dobbin？〃　asked　the　Secretary　with　a　most　insinuating　grin。
  Georgy　burst　out　laughing　and　said；　〃By　Jove；　that　was
  a　good　'un。〃　Emmy　and　the　Major　blushed：　　we　saw　them
  from　the　stalls。
  〃This　lady　is　Mrs。　George　Osborne；〃　said　the　Major；
  〃and　this　is　her　brother；　Mr。　Sedley；　a　distinguished
  officer　of　the　Bengal　Civil　Service：　　permit　me　to　introduce
  him　to　your　lordship。〃
  My　lord　nearly　sent　Jos　off　his　legs　with　the　most
  fascinating　smile。　　〃Are　you　going　to　stop　in　Pumpernickel？〃
  he　said。　　〃It　is　a　dull　place；　but　we　want　some　nice　people；
  and　we　would　try　and　make　it　SO　agreeable　to　you。　　Mr。
  AhumMrs。Oho。　　I　shall　do　myself　the　honour　of　calling
  upon　you　to…morrow　at　your　inn。〃　And　he　went　away
  with　a　Parthian　grin　and　glance　which　he　thought　must
  finish　Mrs。　Osborne　completely。
  The　performance　over；　the　young　fellows　lounged　about
  the　lobbies；　and　we　saw　the　society　take　its　departure。
  The　Duchess　Dowager　went　off　in　her　jingling　old　coach；
  attended　by　two　faithful　and　withered　old　maids　of
  honour；　and　a　little　snuffy　spindle…shanked　gentleman　in
  waiting；　in　a　brown　jasey　and　a　green　coat　covered　with
  ordersof　which　the　star　and　the　grand　yellow　cordon　of
  the　order　of　St。　　Michael　of　Pumpernickel　were　most
  conspicuous。　　The　drums　rolled；　the　guards　saluted；　and　the
  old　carriage　drove　away。
  Then　came　his　Transparency　the　Duke　and　Transparent
  family；　with　his　great　offic