banquets　will　scarcely　cheer　sick　epicures。　　Reminiscences
  of　the　most　becoming　dresses　and　brilliant　ball　triumphs
  will　go　very　little　way　to　console　faded　beauties。　　Perhaps
  statesmen；　at　a　particular　period　of　existence；　are
  not　much　gratified　at　thinking　over　the　most　triumphant
  divisions；　and　the　success　or　the　pleasure　of　yesterday
  becomes　of　very　small　account　when　a　certain
  （albeit　uncertain）　morrow　is　in　view；　about　which　all　of
  us　must　some　day　or　other　be　speculating。　　O　brother
  wearers　of　motley！　　Are　there　not　moments　when　one
  grows　sick　of　grinning　and　tumbling；　and　the　jingling　of
  cap　and　bells？　　This；　dear　friends　and　companions；　is　my
  amiable　objectto　walk　with　you　through　the　Fair；　to
  examine　the　shops　and　the　shows　there；　and　that　we
  should　all　come　home　after　the　flare；　and　the　noise；　and
  the　gaiety；　and　be　perfectly　miserable　in　private。
  〃If　that　poor　man　of　mine　had　a　head　on　his　shoulders；〃
  Mrs。　Bute　Crawley　thought　to　herself；　〃how　useful　he
  might　be；　under　present　circumstances；　to　this　unhappy
  old　lady！　　He　might　make　her　repent　of　her　shocking
  free…thinking　ways；　he　might　urge　her　to　do　her　duty；
  and　cast　off　that　odious　reprobate　who　has　disgraced
  himself　and　his　family；　and　he　might　induce　her　to　do
  justice　to　my　dear　girls　and　the　two　boys；　who　require
  and　deserve；　I　am　sure；　every　assistance　which　their
  relatives　can　give　them。〃
  And；　as　the　hatred　of　vice　is　always　a　progress　towards
  virtue；　Mrs。　Bute　Crawley　endeavoured　to　instil
  her　sister…in…law　a　proper　abhorrence　for　all　Rawdon
  Crawley's　manifold　sins：　of　which　his　uncle's　wife　brought
  forward　such　a　catalogue　as　indeed　would　have　served
  to　condemn　a　whole　regiment　of　young　officers。　　If　a　man
  has　committed　wrong　in　life；　I　don't　know　any　moralist
  more　anxious　to　point　his　errors　out　to　the　world　than
  his　own　relations；　so　Mrs。　Bute　showed　a　perfect　family
  interest　and　knowledge　of　Rawdon's　history。　　She　had　all
  the　particulars　of　that　ugly　quarrel　with　Captain　Marker；
  in　which　Rawdon；　wrong　from　the　beginning；　ended　in
  shooting　the　Captain。　　She　knew　how　the　unhappy　Lord
  Dovedale；　whose　mamma　had　taken　a　house　at　Oxford；
  so　that　he　might　be　educated　there；　and　who　had　never
  touched　a　card　in　his　life　till　he　came　to　London；　was
  perverted　by　Rawdon　at　the　Cocoa…Tree；　made　helplessly
  tipsy　by　this　abominable　seducer　and　perverter　of　youth；
  and　fleeced　of　four　thousand　pounds。　　She　described　with
  the　most　vivid　minuteness　the　agonies　of　the　country
  families　whom　he　had　ruinedthe　sons　whom　he　had
  plunged　into　dishonour　and　povertythe　daughters
  whom　he　had　inveigled　into　perdition。　　She　knew　the　poor
  tradesmen　who　were　bankrupt　by　his　extravagancethe
  mean　shifts　and　rogueries　with　which　he　had　ministered
  to　itthe　astounding　falsehoods　by　which　he　had　imposed
  upon　the　most　generous　of　aunts；　and　the　ingratitude　and
  ridicule　by　which　he　had　repaid　her　sacrifices。　　She
  imparted　these　stories　gradually　to　Miss　Crawley；　gave　her
  the　whole　benefit　of　them；　felt　it　to　be　her　bounden　duty
  as　a　Christian　woman　and　mother　of　a　family　to　do　so；
  had　not　the　smallest　remorse　or　compunction　for　the
  victim　whom　her　tongue　was　immolating；　nay；　very　likely
  thought　her　act　was　quite　meritorious；　and　plumed
  herself　upon　her　resolute　manner　of　performing　it。　　Yes；
  if　a　man's　character　is　to　be　abused；　say　what　you　will；
  there's　nobody　like　a　relation　to　do　the　business。　　And　one
  is　bound　to　own；　regarding　this　unfortunate　wretch　of　a
  Rawdon　Crawley；　that　the　mere　truth　was　enough　to
  condemn　him；　and　that　all　inventions　of　scandal　were　quite
  superfluous　pains　on　his　friends'　parts。
  Rebecca；　too；　being　now　a　relative；　came　in　for　the
  fullest　share　of　Mrs。　Bute's　kind　inquiries。　　This　indefatigable
  pursuer　of　truth　（having　given　strict　orders　that　the
  door　was　to　be　denied　to　all　emissaries　or　letters
  from　Rawdon）；　took　Miss　Crawley's　carriage；　and　drove
  to　her　old　friend　Miss　Pinkerton；　at　Minerva　House；
  Chiswick　Mall；　to　whom　she　announced　the　dreadful
  intelligence　of　Captain　Rawdon's　seduction　by　Miss　Sharp；
  and　from　whom　she　got　sundry　strange　particulars
  regarding　the　ex…governess's　birth　and　early　history。　　The
  friend　of　the　Lexicographer　had　plenty　of　information
  to　give。　　Miss　Jemima　was　made　to　fetch　the　drawing…
  master's　receipts　and　letters。　　This　one　was　from　a
  spunging…house：　that　entreated　an　advance：　another　was
  full　of　gratitude　for　Rebecca's　reception　by　the　ladies　of
  Chiswick：　and　the　last　document　from　the　unlucky　artist's
  pen　was　that　in　which；　from　his　dying　bed；　he　recommended
  his　orphan　child　to　Miss　Pinkerton's　protection。　　There
  were　juvenile　letters　and　petitions　from　Rebecca；　too；　in
  the　collection；　imploring　aid　for　her　father　or　declaring
  her　own　gratitude。　　Perhaps　in　Vanity　Fair　there　are　no
  better　satires　than　letters。　　Take　a　bundle　of　your　dear
  friend's　of　ten　years　backyour　dear　friend　whom　you
  hate　now。　　Look　at　a　file　of　your　sister's！　how　you　clung
  to　each　other　till　you　quarrelled　about　the　twenty…pound
  legacy！　　Get　down　the　round…hand　scrawls　of　your　son
  who　has　half　broken　your　heart　with　selfish　undutifulness
  since；　or　a　parcel　of　your　own；　breathing　endless
  ardour　and　love　eternal；　which　were　sent　back　by　your
  mistress　when　she　married　the　Nabobyour　mistress　for
  whom　you　now　care　no　more　than　for　Queen　Elizabeth。
  Vows；　love；　promises；　confidences；　gratitude；　how　queerly
  they　read　after　a　while！　　There　ought　to　be　a　law　in
  Vanity　Fair　ordering　the　destruction　of　every　written
  document　（except　receipted　tradesmen's　bills）　after　a
  certain　brief　and　proper　interval。　　Those　quacks　and
  misanthropes　who　advertise　indelible　Japan　ink　should　be
  made　to　perish　along　with　their　wicked　discoveries。　　The
  best　ink　for　Vanity　Fair　use　would　be　one　that　faded
  utterly　in　a　couple　of　days；　and　left　the　paper　clean　and
  blank；　so　that　you　might　write　on　it　to　somebody　else。
  From　Miss　Pinkerton's　the　indefatigable　Mrs。　Bute
  followed　the　track　of　Sharp　and　his　daughter　back　to　the
  lodgings　in　Greek　Street；　which　the　defunct　painter　had
  occupied；　and　where　portraits　of　the　landlady　in　white
  satin；　and　of　the　husband　in　brass　buttons；　done　by　Sharp
  in　lieu　of　a　quarter's　rent；　still　decorated　the　parlour
  walls。　　Mrs。　Stokes　was　a　communicative　person；　and
  quickly　told　all　she　knew　about　Mr。　Sharp；　how　dissolute
  and　poor　he　was；　how　good…natured　and　amusing；　how　he
  was　always　hunted　by　bailiffs　and　duns；　how；　to　the
  landlady's　horror；　though　she　never　could　abide　the　woman；
  he　did　not　marry　his　wife　till　a　short　time　before　her
  death；　and　what　a　queer　little　wild　vixen　his　daughter
  was；　how　she　kept　them　all　laughing　with　her　fun　and
  mimicry；　how　she　used　to　fetch　the　gin　from　the　public…house；
  and　was　known　in　all　the　studios　in　the　quarterin　brief；
  Mrs。　Bute　got　such　a　full　account　of　her　new　niece's
  parentage；　education；　and　behaviour　as　would
  scarcely　have　pleased　Rebecca；　had　the　latter　known　that
  such　inquiries　were　being　made　concerning　her。
  Of　all　these　industrious　researches　Miss　Crawley　had
  the　full　benefit。　　Mrs。　Rawdon　Crawley　was　the　daughter
  of　an　opera…girl。　　She　had　danced　herself。　　She　had　been　a
  model　to　the　painters。　　She　was　brought　up　as　became
  her　mother's　daughter。　　She　drank　gin　with　her　father；
  &c。　&c。　It　was　a　lost　woman　who　was　married　to　a　lost
  man；　and　the　moral　to　be　inferred　from　Mrs。　Bute's
  tale　was；　that　the　knavery　of　the　pair　was　irremediable；
  and　that　no　properly　conducted　person　should　ever　notice
  them　again。
  These　were　the　materials　which　prudent　Mrs。　Bute
  gathered　together　in　Park　Lane；　the　provisions　and
  ammunition　as　it　were　with　which　she　fortified　the　house
  against　the　siege　which　she　knew　that　Rawdon　and　his
  wife　would　lay　to　Miss　Crawley。
  But　if　a　fault　may　be　found　with　her　arrangements；　it
  is　this；　that　she　was　too　eager：　she　managed　rather　too
  well；　undoubtedly　she　made　Miss　Crawley　more　ill　than
  was　necessary；　and　though　the　old　invalid　succumbed
  to　her　authority；　it　was　so　harassing　and　severe；　that　the
  victim　would　be　inclined　to　escape　at　the　very　first　chance
  which　fell　in　her　way。　　Managing　women；　the　ornaments
  of　their　sexwomen　who　order　everything　for　everybody；
  and　know　so　much　better　than　any　person　concerned
  what　is　good　for　their　neighbours；　don't　sometimes
  speculate　upon　the　possibility　of　a　domestic　revolt；　or
  upon　other　extreme　consequences　resulting　from　their
  overstrained　authority。
  Thus；　for　instance；　Mrs。　Bute；　with　the　best　intentions
  no　doubt　in　the　world；　and　wearing　herself　to　death　as
  she　did　by　foregoing　sleep；　dinner；　fresh　air；　for　the　sake
  of　her　invalid　sister…in…law；　carried　her　conviction　of　the
  old　lady's　illness　so　far　that　she　almost　managed　her
  into　her　coffin。　　She　pointed　out　her　sacrifices　and　their
  results　one　day　to　the　constant　apothecary；　Mr。　Clump。
  〃I　am　sure；　my　dear　Mr。　Clump；〃　she　said；　〃no　efforts
  of　mine　have　been　wanting　to　restore　our　dear　invalid；
  whom　the　ingratitude　of　her　nephew　has　laid　on　the　bed
  of　sickness。　　I　never　shrink　from　personal　discomfort：　I
  never　refuse　to　sacrifice　myself。〃
  〃Your　devotion；　it　must　be　confessed；　is　admirable；〃
  Mr。　Clump　says；　with　a　low　bow；　〃but〃
  〃I　have　scarcely