come　down　and　make　breakfast；　Miss？〃
  And　to　the　surprise　of　Firkin；　clasping　her　dressing…gown
  around　her；　the　wisp　of　hair　floating　dishevelled
  behind　her；　the　little　curl…papers　still　sticking　in　bunches
  round　her　forehead；　Briggs　sailed　down　to　Mrs。　Bute　with
  the　letter　in　her　hand　containing　the　wonderful　news。
  〃Oh；　Mrs。　Firkin；〃　gasped　Betty；　〃sech　a　business。　　Miss
  Sharp　have　a　gone　and　run　away　with　the　Capting；　and
  they're　off　to　Gretney　Green！〃　　We　would　devote　a　chapter
  to　describe　the　emotions　of　Mrs。　Firkin；　did　not　the
  passions　of　her　mistresses　occupy　our　genteeler　muse。
  When　Mrs。　Bute　Crawley；　numbed　with　midnight　travelling；
  and　warming　herself　at　the　newly　crackling　parlour
  fire；　heard　from　Miss　Briggs　the　intelligence　of　the
  clandestine　marriage；　she　declared　it　was　quite　providential
  that　she　should　have　arrived　at　such　a　time　to　assist　poor
  dear　Miss　Crawley　in　supporting　the　shockthat　Rebecca
  was　an　artful　little　hussy　of　whom　she　had　always
  had　her　suspicions；　and　that　as　for　Rawdon　Crawley；　she
  never　could　account　for　his　aunt's　infatuation　regarding
  him；　and　had　long　considered　him　a　profligate；　lost；
  and　abandoned　being。　　And　this　awful　conduct；　Mrs。　Bute
  said；　will　have　at　least　this　good　effect；　it　will　open　poor
  dear　Miss　Crawley's　eyes　to　the　real　character　of　this
  wicked　man。　　Then　Mrs。　Bute　had　a　comfortable　hot　toast
  and　tea；　and　as　there　was　a　vacant　room　in　the　house
  now；　there　was　no　need　for　her　to　remain　at　the　Gloster
  Coffee　House　where　the　Portsmouth　mail　had　set　her
  down；　and　whence　she　ordered　Mr。　Bowls's　aide…de…camp
  the　footman　to　bring　away　her　trunks。
  Miss　Crawley；　be　it　known；　did　not　leave　her　room　until
  near　noontaking　chocolate　in　bed　in　the　morning；　while
  Becky　Sharp　read　the　Morning　Post　to　her；　or　otherwise
  amusing　herself　or　dawdling。　　The　conspirators　below
  agreed　that　they　would　spare　the　dear　lady's　feelings
  until　she　appeared　in　her　drawing…room：　meanwhile　it　was
  announced　to　her　that　Mrs。　Bute　Crawley　had　come　up
  from　Hampshire　by　the　mail；　was　staying　at　the　Gloster；
  sent　her　love　to　Miss　Crawley；　and　asked　for　breakfast
  with　Miss　Briggs。　　The　arrival　of　Mrs。　Bute；　which　would
  not　have　caused　any　extreme　delight　at　another　period；
  was　hailed　with　pleasure　now；　Miss　Crawley　being　pleased
  at　the　notion　of　a　gossip　with　her　sister…in…law　regarding
  the　late　Lady　Crawley；　the　funeral　arrangements　pending；
  and　Sir　Pitt's　abrupt　proposal　to　Rebecca。
  It　was　not　until　the　old　lady　was　fairly　ensconced　in
  her　usual　arm…chair　in　the　drawing…room；　and　the
  preliminary　embraces　and　inquiries　had　taken　place　between
  the　ladies；　that　the　conspirators　thought　it　advisable　to
  submit　her　to　the　operation。　　Who　has　not　admired　the
  artifices　and　delicate　approaches　with　which　women
  〃prepare〃　their　friends　for　bad　news？　　Miss　Crawley's　two
  friends　made　such　an　apparatus　of　mystery　before　they
  broke　the　intelligence　to　her；　that　they　worked　her　up　to
  the　necessary　degree　of　doubt　and　alarm。
  〃And　she　refused　Sir　Pitt；　my　dear；　dear　Miss　Crawley；
  prepare　yourself　for　it；〃　Mrs。　Bute　said；　〃because
  because　she　couldn't　help　herself。〃
  〃Of　course　there　was　a　reason；〃　Miss　Crawley　answered。
  〃She　liked　somebody　else。　　I　told　Briggs　so　yesterday。〃
  〃LIKES　somebody　else！〃　Briggs　gasped。　　〃O　my　dear
  friend；　she　is　married　already。〃
  〃Married　already；〃　Mrs。　Bute　chimed　in；　and　both　sate
  with　clasped　hands　looking　from　each　other　at　their
  victim。
  〃Send　her　to　me；　the　instant　she　comes　in。　　The　little
  sly　wretch：　how　dared　she　not　tell　me？〃　cried　out　Miss
  Crawley。
  〃She　won't　come　in　soon。　　Prepare　yourself；　dear　friend
  she's　gone　out　for　a　long　timeshe'sshe's　gone
  altogether。〃
  〃Gracious　goodness；　and　who's　to　make　my　chocolate？
  Send　for　her　and　have　her　back；　I　desire　that　she　come
  back；〃　the　old　lady　said。
  〃She　decamped　last　night；　Ma'am；〃　cried　Mrs。　Bute。
  〃She　left　a　letter　for　me；〃　Briggs　exclaimed。　　〃She's
  married　to〃
  〃Prepare　her；　for　heaven's　sake。　　Don't　torture　her；　my
  dear　Miss　Briggs。〃
  〃She's　married　to　whom？〃　cries　the　spinster　in　a
  nervous　fury。
  〃Toto　a　relation　of〃
  〃She　refused　Sir　Pitt；〃　cried　the　victim。　　〃Speak　at　once。
  Don't　drive　me　mad。〃
  〃O　Ma'amprepare　her；　Miss　Briggsshe's　married
  to　Rawdon　Crawley。〃
  〃Rawdon　married　Rebeccagovernessnobod
  Get　out　of　my　house；　you　fool；　you　idiotyou　stupid　old
  Briggs　how　dare　you？　You're　in　the　plotyou　made
  him　marry；　thinking　that　I'd　leave　my　money　from　him
  you　did；　Martha；〃　the　poor　old　lady　screamed　in　hysteric
  sentences。
  〃I；　Ma'am；　ask　a　member　of　this　family　to　marry　a
  drawing…master's　daughter？〃
  〃Her　mother　was　a　Montmorency；〃　cried　out　the　old
  lady；　pulling　at　the　bell　with　all　her　might。
  〃Her　mother　was　an　opera　girl；　and　she　has　been　on
  the　stage　or　worse　herself；〃　said　Mrs。　Bute。
  Miss　Crawley　gave　a　final　scream；　and　fell　back　in　a
  faint。　　They　were　forced　to　take　her　back　to　the　room
  which　she　had　just　quitted。　　One　fit　of　hysterics　succeeded
  another。　　The　doctor　was　sent　forthe　apothecary　arrived。
  Mrs。　Bute　took　up　the　post　of　nurse　by　her　bedside。　　〃Her
  relations　ought　to　be　round　about　her；〃　that　amiable
  woman　said。
  She　had　scarcely　been　carried　up　to　her　room；　when　a
  new　person　arrived　to　whom　it　was　also　necessary　to　break
  the　news。　　This　was　Sir　Pitt。　　〃Where's　Becky？〃　he　said；
  coming　in。　　〃Where's　her　traps？　She's　coming　with　me　to
  Queen's　Crawley。〃
  〃Have　you　not　heard　the　astonishing　intelligence
  regarding　her　surreptitious　union？〃　Briggs　asked。
  〃What's　that　to　me？〃　Sir　Pitt　asked。　　〃I　know　she's
  married。　　That　makes　no　odds。　　Tell　her　to　come　down　at
  once；　and　not　keep　me。〃
  〃Are　you　not　aware；　sir；〃　Miss　Briggs　asked；　〃that　she
  has　left　our　roof；　to　the　dismay　of　Miss　Crawley；　who　is
  nearly　killed　by　the　intelligence　of　Captain　Rawdon's　union
  with　her？〃
  When　Sir　Pitt　Crawley　heard　that　Rebecca　was　married
  to　his　son；　he　broke　out　into　a　fury　of　language；　which　it
  would　do　no　good　to　repeat　in　this　place；　as　indeed　it
  sent　poor　Briggs　shuddering　out　of　the　room；　and　with　her
  we　will　shut　the　door　upon　the　figure　of　the　frenzied　old
  man；　wild　with　hatred　and　insane　with　baffled　desire。
  One　day　after　he　went　to　Queen's　Crawley；　he　burst
  like　a　madman　into　the　room　she　had　used　when　there
  dashed　open　her　boxes　with　his　foot；　and　flung　about
  her　papers；　clothes；　and　other　relics。　　Miss　Horrocks；　the
  butler's　daughter；　took　some　of　them。　　The　children
  dressed　themselves　and　acted　plays　in　the　others。　　It　was
  but　a　few　days　after　the　poor　mother　had　gone　to　her
  lonely　burying…place；　and　was　laid；　unwept　and
  disregarded；　in　a　vault　full　of　strangers。
  〃Suppose　the　old　lady　doesn't　come　to；〃　Rawdon　said　to
  his　little　wife；　as　they　sate　together　in　the　snug　little
  Brompton　lodgings。　　She　had　been　trying　the　new　piano
  all　the　morning。　　The　new　gloves　fitted　her　to　a　nicety；　the
  new　shawls　became　her　wonderfully；　the　new　rings
  glittered　on　her　little　hands；　and　the　new　watch　ticked　at　her
  waist；　〃suppose　she　don't　come　round；　eh；　Becky？〃
  〃I'LL　make　your　fortune；〃　she　said；　and　Delilah　patted
  Samson's　cheek。
  〃You　can　do　anything；〃　he　said；　kissing　the　little　hand。
  〃By　Jove　you　can；　and　we'll　drive　down　to　the　Star　and
  Garter；　and　dine；　by　Jove。〃
  CHAPTER　XVII
  How　Captain　Dobbin　Bought　a　Piano
  If　there　is　any　exhibition　in　all　Vanity　Fair　which　Satire
  and　Sentiment　can　visit　arm　in　arm　together；　where　you
  light　on　the　strangest　contrasts　laughable　and　tearful：
  where　you　may　be　gentle　and　pathetic；　or　savage　and
  cynical　with　perfect　propriety：　it　is　at　one　of　those　public
  assemblies；　a　crowd　of　which　are　advertised　every　day　in
  the　last　page　of　the　Times　newspaper；　and　over　which
  the　late　Mr。　George　Robins　used　to　preside　with　so　much
  dignity。　　There　are　very　few　London　people；　as　I　fancy；
  who　have　not　attended　at　these　meetings；　and　all　with　a
  taste　for　moralizing　must　have　thought；　with　a　sensation
  and　interest　not　a　little　startling　and　queer；　of　the　day
  when　their　turn　shall　come　too；　and　Mr。　Hammerdown
  will　sell　by　the　orders　of　Diogenes'　assignees；　or　will　be
  instructed　by　the　executors；　to　offer　to　public　competition；
  the　library；　furniture；　plate；　wardrobe；　and　choice　cellar
  of　wines　of　Epicurus　deceased。
  Even　with　the　most　selfish　disposition；　the　Vanity　Fairian；
  as　he　witnesses　this　sordid　part　of　the　obsequies　of　a
  departed　friend；　can't　but　feel　some　sympathies　and　regret。
  My　Lord　Dives's　remains　are　in　the　family　vault：　the
  statuaries　are　cutting　an　inscription　veraciously
  commemorating　his　virtues；　and　the　sorrows　of　his　heir；
  who　is　disposing　of　his　goods。　　What　guest　at　Dives's　table
  can　pass　the　familiar　house　without　a　sigh？　。the　familiar
  house　of　which　the　lights　used　to　shine　so　cheerfully　at
  seven　o'clock；　of　which　the　hall…doors　opened　so　readily；
  of　which　the　obsequious　servants；　as　you　passed　up　the
  comfortable　stair；　sounded　your　name　from　landing　to
  landing；　until　it　reached　the　apartment　where　jolly　old
  Dives　welcomed　his　friends！　　What　a　number　of　them　he
  had；　and　what　a　noble　way　of　entertaining　them。　　How
  witty　people　used　to　be　here　wh