exclaimed　another　wag；　to　the　inexpressible　alarm　of
  the　ladies；　and　the　great　anger　of　Mr。　Osborne。
  〃For　Heaven's　sake；　Jos；　let　us　get　up　and　go；〃　cried
  that　gentleman；　and　the　young　women　rose。
  〃Stop；　my　dearest　diddle…diddle…darling；〃　shouted　Jos；
  now　as　bold　as　a　lion；　and　clasping　Miss　Rebecca　round
  the　waist。　　Rebecca　started；　but　she　could　not　get　away　her
  hand。　　The　laughter　outside　redoubled。　　Jos　continued　to
  drink；　to　make　love；　and　to　sing；　and；　winking　and　waving
  his　glass　gracefully　to　his　audience；　challenged　all　or　any
  to　come　in　and　take　a　share　of　his　punch。
  Mr。　Osborne　was　just　on　the　point　of　knocking　down　a
  gentleman　in　top…boots；　who　proposed　to　take　advantage
  of　this　invitation；　and　a　commotion　seemed　to　be
  inevitable；　when　by　the　greatest　good　luck　a　gentleman
  of　the　name　of　Dobbin；　who　had　been　walking　about　the
  gardens；　stepped　up　to　the　box。　　〃Be　off；　you　fools！〃　said
  this　gentlemanshouldering　off　a　great　number　of　the　crowd；
  who　vanished　presently　before　his　cocked　hat　and　fierce
  appearanceand　he　entered　the　box　in　a　most　agitated　state。
  〃Good　Heavens！　Dobbin；　where　have　you　been？〃　0sborne
  said；　seizing　the　white　cashmere　shawl　from　his
  friend's　arm；　and　huddling　up　Amelia　in　it。〃Make
  yourself　useful；　and　take　charge　of　Jos　here；　whilst　I
  take　the　ladies　to　the　carriage。〃
  Jos　was　for　rising　to　interferebut　a　single　push　from
  Osborne's　finger　sent　him　puffing　back　into　his　seat　again；
  and　the　lieutenant　was　enabled　to　remove　the　ladies　in
  safety。　　Jos　kissed　his　hand　to　them　as　they　retreated；　and
  hiccupped　out　〃Bless　you！　Bless　you！〃　Then；　seizing
  Captain　Dobbin's　hand；　and　weeping　in　the　most　pitiful　way；
  he　confided　to　that　gentleman　the　secret　of　his　loves。　　He
  adored　that　girl　who　had　just　gone　out；　he　had　broken
  her　heart；　he　knew　he　had；　by　his　conduct；　he　would　marry
  her　next　morning　at　St。　George's；　Hanover　Square；　he'd
  knock　up　the　Archbishop　of　Canterbury　at　Lambeth：　he
  would；　by　Jove！　and　have　him　in　readiness；　and；　acting　on
  this　hint；　Captain　Dobbin　shrewdly　induced　him　to　leave
  the　gardens　and　hasten　to　Lambeth　Palace；　and；　when　once
  out　of　the　gates；　easily　conveyed　Mr。　Jos　Sedley　into　a
  hackney…coach；　which　deposited　him　safely　at　his　lodgings。
  George　Osborne　conducted　the　girls　home　in　safety：
  and　when　the　door　was　closed　upon　them；　and　as　he
  walked　across　Russell　Square；　laughed　so　as　to　astonish
  the　watchman。　　Amelia　looked　very　ruefully　at　her　friend；
  as　they　went　up　stairs；　and　kissed　her；　and　went　to　bed
  without　any　more　talking。
  〃He　must　propose　to…morrow；〃　thought　Rebecca。　　〃He
  called　me　his　soul's　darling；　four　times；　he　squeezed　my
  hand　in　Amelia's　presence。　　He　must　propose　to…morrow。〃
  And　so　thought　Amelia；　too。　　And　I　dare　say　she　thought
  of　the　dress　she　was　to　wear　as　bridesmaid；　and　of　the
  presents　which　she　should　make　to　her　nice　little　sister…in…
  law；　and　of　a　subsequent　ceremony　in　which　she　herself
  might　play　a　principal　part；　&c。；　and　&c。；　and　&c。；　and　&c。
  Oh；　ignorant　young　creatures！　How　little　do　you　know
  the　effect　of　rack　punch！　What　is　the　rack　in　the　punch；
  at　night；　to　the　rack　in　the　head　of　a　morning？　To　this
  truth　I　can　vouch　as　a　man；　there　is　no　headache　in　the
  world　like　that　caused　by　Vauxhall　punch。　　Through　the
  lapse　of　twenty　years；　I　can　remember　the　consequence
  of　two　glasses！two　wine…glasses！but　two；　upon　the
  honour　of　a　gentleman；　and　Joseph　Sedley；　who　had　a
  liver　complaint；　had　swallowed　at　least　a　quart　of　the
  abominable　mixture。
  That　next　morning；　which　Rebecca　thought　was　to
  dawn　upon　her　fortune；　found　Sedley　groaning　in　agonies
  which　the　pen　refuses　to　describe。　　Soda…water　was　not
  invented　yet。　　Small　beerwill　it　be　believed！was　the
  only　drink　with　which　unhappy　gentlemen　soothed　the
  fever　of　their　previous　night's　potation。　　With　this　mild
  beverage　before　him；　George　Osborne　found　the　ex…
  Collector　of　Boggley　Wollah　groaning　on　the　sofa　at
  his　lodgings。　　Dobbin　was　already　in　the　room；　good…
  naturedly　tending　his　patient　of　the　night　before。　　The　two
  officers；　looking　at　the　prostrate　Bacchanalian；　and
  askance　at　each　other；　exchanged　the　most　frightful
  sympathetic　grins。　　Even　Sedley's　valet；　the　most　solemn
  and　correct　of　gentlemen；　with　the　muteness　and　gravity　of
  an　undertaker；　could　hardly　keep　his　countenance　in
  order；　as　he　looked　at　his　unfortunate　master。
  〃Mr。　Sedley　was　uncommon　wild　last　night；　sir；〃　he
  whispered　in　confidence　to　Osborne；　as　the　latter　mounted
  the　stair。　　〃He　wanted　to　fight　the　'ackney…coachman；　sir。
  The　Capting　was　obliged　to　bring　him　upstairs　in　his
  harms　like　a　babby。〃　A　momentary　smile　flickered　over
  Mr。　Brush's　features　as　he　spoke；　instantly；　however；　they
  relapsed　into　their　usual　unfathomable　calm；　as　he　flung
  open　the　drawing…room　door；　and　announced　〃Mr。
  Hosbin。〃
  〃How　are　you；　Sedley？〃　that　young　wag　began；　after
  surveying　his　victim。　　〃No　bones　broke？　There's　a
  hackney…coachman　downstairs　with　a　black　eye；　and　a
  tied…up　head；　vowing　he'll　have　the　law　of　you。〃
  〃What　do　you　meanlaw？〃　Sedley　faintly　asked。
  〃For　thrashing　him　last　nightdidn't　he；　Dobbin？　You
  hit　out；　sir；　like　Molyneux。　　The　watchman　says　he　never
  saw　a　fellow　go　down　so　straight。　　Ask　Dobbin。〃
  〃You　DID　have　a　round　with　the　coachman；〃　Captain
  Dobbin　said；　〃and　showed　plenty　of　fight　too。〃
  〃And　that　fellow　with　the　white　coat　at　Vauxhall！　How
  Jos　drove　at　him！　How　the　women　screamed！　By　Jove；
  sir；　it　did　my　heart　good　to　see　you。　　I　thought　you　civilians
  had　no　pluck；　but　I'll　never　get　in　your　way　when　you
  are　in　your　cups；　Jos。〃
  〃I　believe　I'm　very　terrible；　when　I'm　roused；〃
  ejaculated　Jos　from　the　sofa；　and　made　a　grimace　so
  dreary　and　ludicrous；　that　the　Captain's　politeness　could
  restrain　him　no　longer；　and　he　and　Osborne　fired　off　a
  ringing　volley　of　laughter。
  Osborne　pursued　his　advantage　pitilessly。　　He　thought
  Jos　a　milksop。　　He　had　been　revolving　in　his　mind　the
  marriage　question　pending　between　Jos　and　Rebecca；　and
  was　not　over　well　pleased　that　a　member　of　a　family　into
  which　he；　George　Osborne；　of　the　th；　was　going
  to　marry；　should　make　a　mesalliance　with　a　little　nobody
  a　little　upstart　governess。　　〃You　hit；　you　poor　old
  fellow！〃　said　Osborne。　　〃You　terrible！　Why；　man；　you
  couldn't　standyou　made　everybody　laugh　in　the
  Gardens；　though　you　were　crying　yourself。　　You　were
  maudlin；　Jos。　　Don't　you　remember　singing　a　song？〃
  〃A　what？〃　Jos　asked。
  〃A　sentimental　song；　and　calling　Rosa；　Rebecca；　what's
  her　name；　Amelia's　little　friendyour　dearest　diddle…
  diddle…darling？〃　And　this　ruthless　young　fellow；　seizing
  hold　of　Dobbin's　hand；　acted　over　the　scene；　to　the　horror
  of　the　original　performer；　and　in　spite　of　Dobbin's　good…
  natured　entreaties　to　him　to　have　mercy。
  〃Why　should　I　spare　him？〃　Osborne　said　to　his　friend's
  remonstrances；　when　they　quitted　the　invalid；　leaving　him
  under　the　hands　of　Doctor　Gollop。　　〃What　the　deuce　right
  has　he　to　give　himself　his　patronizing　airs；　and　make　fools
  of　us　at　Vauxhall？　Who's　this　little　schoolgirl　that　is
  ogling　and　making　love　to　him？　Hang　it；　the　family's
  low　enough　already；　without　HER。　　A　governess　is　all　very
  well；　but　I'd　rather　have　a　lady　for　my　sister…in…law。　　I'm
  a　liberal　man；　but　I've　proper　pride；　and　know　my　own
  station：　let　her　know　hers。　　And　I'll　take　down　that　great
  hectoring　Nabob；　and　prevent　him　from　being　made　a
  greater　fool　than　he　is。　　That's　why　I　told　him　to　look　out；
  lest　she　brought　an　action　against　him。〃
  〃I　suppose　you　know　best；〃　Dobbin　said；　though　rather
  dubiously。　　〃You　always　were　a　Tory；　and　your　family's
  one　of　the　oldest　in　England。　　But　〃
  〃Come　and　see　the　girls；　and　make　love　to　Miss　Sharp
  yourself；〃　the　lieutenant　here　interrupted　his　friend；　but
  Captain　Dobbin　declined　to　join　Osborne　in　his　daily　visit
  to　the　young　ladies　in　Russell　Square。
  As　George　walked　down　Southampton　Row；　from
  Holborn；　he　laughed　as　he　saw；　at　the　Sedley　Mansion；
  in　two　different　stories　two　heads　on　the　look…out。
  The　fact　is；　Miss　Amelia；　in　the　drawing…room　balcony；
  was　looking　very　eagerly　towards　the　opposite　side　of　the
  Square；　where　Mr。　Osborne　dwelt；　on　the　watch　for　the
  lieutenant　himself；　and　Miss　Sharp；　from　her　little　bed…
  room　on　the　second　floor；　was　in　observation　until　Mr。
  Joseph's　great　form　should　heave　in　sight。
  〃Sister　Anne　is　on　the　watch…tower；〃　said　he　to　Amelia；
  〃but　there's　nobody　coming〃；　and　laughing　and　enjoying
  the　joke　hugely；　he　described　in　the　most　ludicrous　terms
  to　Miss　Sedley；　the　dismal　condition　of　her　brother。
  〃I　think　it's　very　cruel　of　you　to　laugh；　George；〃　she
  said；　looking　particularly　unhappy；　but　George　only
  laughed　the　more　at　her　piteous　and　discomfited　mien；
  persisted　in　thinking　the　joke　a　most　diverting　one；　and
  when　Miss　Sharp　came　downstairs；　bantered　her　with　a
  great　deal　of　liveliness　upon　the　effect　of　her　charms　on
  the　fat　civilian。
  〃O　Miss　Sharp！　if　you　could　but　see　him　this　morning；〃
  he　said〃moaning　in　his　flowered　dressing…gown
  writhing　on　his　sofa；　if　you　could　but　have　seen　him
  lolling　out　his　tongue　to　Gollop　the　apothecary。〃
  〃See　whom？〃　said　Miss　Sharp。
  〃Whom？　O　whom？　　Captain　Dobbin；　of　course；　to　whom
  we　were　all　so　attentive；　by　the　way；