第 4 节
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击水三千 更新:2021-02-19 01:13 字数:9322
of my visit I find it important to avoid the error of appearing to
have at all fully measured his situation from the first or made out
the signs of things mastered only afterwards。 This later knowledge
throws a backward light and makes me forget that; at least on the
occasion of my present referenceI mean that first afternoonMark
Ambient struck me as only enviable。 Allowing for this he must yet
have failed of much expression as we walked back to the house; though
I remember well the answer he made to a remark of mine on his small
son。
〃That's an extraordinary little boy of yours。 I've never seen such a
child。〃
〃Why;〃 he asked while we went; 〃do you call him extraordinary?〃
〃He's so beautiful; so fascinating。 He's like some perfect little
work of art。〃
He turned quickly in the passage; grasping my arm。 〃Oh don't call
him that; or you'llyou'll!〃
But in his hesitation he broke off suddenly; laughing at my surprise。
Immediately afterwards; however; he added: 〃You'll make his little
future very difficult。〃
I declared that I wouldn't for the world take any liberties with his
little futureit seemed to me to hang by threads of such delicacy。
I should only be highly interested in watching it。
〃You Americans are very keen;〃 he commented on this。 〃You notice
more things than we do。〃
〃Ah if you want visitors who aren't struck with you;〃 I cried; 〃you
shouldn't have asked me down here!〃
He showed me my room; a little bower of chintz; with open windows
where the light was green; and before he left me said irrelevantly:
〃As for my small son; you know; we shall probably kill him between us
before we've done with him!〃 And he made this assertion as if he
really believed it; without any appearance of jest; his fine near…
sighted expressive eyes looking straight into mine。
〃Do you mean by spoiling him?〃
〃No; by fighting for him!〃
〃You had better give him to me to keep for you;〃 I said。 〃Let me
remove the apple of discord!〃
It was my extravagance of course; but he had the air of being
perfectly serious。 〃It would be quite the best thing we could do。 I
should be all ready to do it。〃
〃I'm greatly obliged to you for your confidence。〃
But he lingered with his hands in his pockets。 I felt as if within a
few moments I had; morally speaking; taken several steps nearer to
him。 He looked weary; just as he faced me then; looked preoccupied
and as if there were something one might do for him。 I was terribly
conscious of the limits of my young ability; but I wondered what such
a service might be; feeling at bottom nevertheless that the only
thing I could do for him was to like him。 I suppose he guessed this
and was grateful for what was in my mind; since he went on presently:
〃I haven't the advantage of being an American; but I also notice a
little; and I've an idea that〃here he smiled and laid his hand on
my shoulder〃even counting out your nationality you're not destitute
of intelligence。 I've only known you half an hour; but!〃 For
which again he pulled up。 〃You're very young; after all。〃
〃But you may treat me as if I could understand you!〃 I said; and
before he left me to dress for dinner he had virtually given me a
promise that he would。
When I went down into the drawing…roomI was very punctualI found
that neither my hostess nor my host had appeared。 A lady rose from a
sofa; however; and inclined her head as I rather surprisedly gazed at
her。 〃I daresay you don't know me;〃 she said with the modern laugh。
〃I'm Mark Ambient's sister。〃 Whereupon I shook hands with her;
saluting her very low。 Her laugh was modernby which I mean that it
consisted of the vocal agitation serving between people who meet in
drawing…rooms as the solvent of social disparities; the medium of
transitions; but her appearance waswhat shall I call it?medieval。
She was pale and angular; her long thin face was inhabited by sad
dark eyes and her black hair intertwined with golden fillets and
curious clasps。 She wore a faded velvet robe which clung to her when
she moved and was 〃cut;〃 as to the neck and sleeves; like the
garments of old Italians。 She suggested a symbolic picture;
something akin even to Durer's Melancholia; and was so perfect an
image of a type which I; in my ignorance; supposed to be extinct;
that while she rose before me I was almost as much startled as if I
had seen a ghost。 I afterwards concluded that Miss Ambient wasn't
incapable of deriving pleasure from this weird effect; and I now
believe that reflexion concerned in her having sunk again to her seat
with her long lean but not ungraceful arms locked together in an
archaic manner on her knees and her mournful eyes addressing me a
message of intentness which foreshadowed what I was subsequently to
suffer。 She was a singular fatuous artificial creature; and I was
never more than half to penetrate her motives and mysteries。 Of one
thing I'm sure at least: that they were considerably less
insuperable than her appearance announced。 Miss Ambient was a
restless romantic disappointed spinster; consumed with the love of
Michael…Angelesque attitudes and mystical robes; but I'm now
convinced she hadn't in her nature those depths of unutterable
thought which; when you first knew her; seemed to look out from her
eyes and to prompt her complicated gestures。 Those features in
especial had a misleading eloquence; they lingered on you with a far…
off dimness; an air of obstructed sympathy; which was certainly not
always a key to the spirit of their owner; so that; of a truth; a
young lady could scarce have been so dejected and disillusioned
without having committed a crime for which she was consumed with
remorse; or having parted with a hope that she couldn't sanely have
entertained。 She had; I believe; the usual allowance of rather vain
motives: she wished to be looked at; she wished to be married; she
wished to be thought original。
It costs me a pang to speak in this irreverent manner of one of
Ambient's name; but I shall have still less gracious things to say
before I've finished my anecdote; and moreoverI confess itI owe
the young lady a bit of a grudge。 Putting aside the curious cast of
her face she had no natural aptitude for an artistic development; had
little real intelligence。 But her affectations rubbed off on her
brother's renown; and as there were plenty of people who darkly
disapproved of him they could easily point to his sister as a person
formed by his influence。 It was quite possible to regard her as a
warning; and she had almost compromised him with the world at large。
He was the original and she the inevitable imitation。 I suppose him
scarce aware of the impression she mainly produced; beyond having a
general idea that she made up very well as a Rossetti; he was used to
her and was sorry for her; wishing she would marry and observing how
she didn't。 Doubtless I take her too seriously; for she did me no
harm; though I'm bound to allow that I can only half…account for her。
She wasn't so mystical as she looked; but was a strange indirect
uncomfortable embarrassing woman。 My story gives the reader at best
so very small a knot to untie that I needn't hope to excite his
curiosity by delaying to remark that Mrs。 Ambient hated her sister…
in…law。 This I learned but later on; when other matters came to my
knowledge。 I mention it; however; at once; for I shall perhaps not
seem to count too much on having beguiled him if I say he must
promptly have guessed it。 Mrs。 Ambient; a person of conscience; put
the best face on her kinswoman; who spent a month with her twice a
year; but it took no great insight to recognise the very different
personal paste of the two ladies; and that the usual feminine
hypocrisies would cost them on either side much more than the usual
effort。 Mrs。 Ambient; smooth…haired; thin…lipped; perpetually fresh;
must have regarded her crumpled and dishevelled visitor as an
equivocal joke; she herself so the opposite of a Rossetti; she
herself a Reynolds or a Lawrence; with no more far…fetched note in
her composition than a cold ladylike candour and a well…starched
muslin dress。
It was in a garment and with an expression of this kind that she made
her entrance after I had exchanged a few words with Miss Ambient。
Her husband presently followed her and; there being no other company;
we went to dinner。 The impressions I received at that repast are
present to me still。 The elements of oddity in the air hovered; as
it were; without descendingto any immediate check of my delight。
This came mainly; of course; from Ambient's talk; the easiest and
richest I had ever heard。 I mayn't say to…day whether he laid
himself out to dazzle a rather juvenile pilgrim from over the sea;
but that matters littleit seemed so natural to him to shine。 His
spoken wit or wisdom; or whatever; had thus a charm almost beyond his
written; that is if the high finish of his printed prose be really;
as some people have maintained; a fault。 There was such a kindness
in him; however; that I've no doubt it gave him ideas for me; or
about me; to see me sit as open…mouthed as I now figure myself。 Not
so the two ladies; who not only were v