第 4 节
作者:击水三千      更新:2021-02-19 01:13      字数:9322
  of my visit I find it important to avoid the error of appearing to
  have at all fully measured his situation from the first or made out
  the signs of things mastered only afterwards。  This later knowledge
  throws a backward light and makes me forget that; at least on the
  occasion of my present referenceI mean that first afternoonMark
  Ambient struck me as only enviable。  Allowing for this he must yet
  have failed of much expression as we walked back to the house; though
  I remember well the answer he made to a remark of mine on his small
  son。
  〃That's an extraordinary little boy of yours。  I've never seen such a
  child。〃
  〃Why;〃 he asked while we went; 〃do you call him extraordinary?〃
  〃He's so beautiful; so fascinating。  He's like some perfect little
  work of art。〃
  He turned quickly in the passage; grasping my arm。  〃Oh don't call
  him that; or you'llyou'll!〃
  But in his hesitation he broke off suddenly; laughing at my surprise。
  Immediately afterwards; however; he added:  〃You'll make his little
  future very difficult。〃
  I declared that I wouldn't for the world take any liberties with his
  little futureit seemed to me to hang by threads of such delicacy。
  I should only be highly interested in watching it。
  〃You Americans are very keen;〃 he commented on this。  〃You notice
  more things than we do。〃
  〃Ah if you want visitors who aren't struck with you;〃 I cried; 〃you
  shouldn't have asked me down here!〃
  He showed me my room; a little bower of chintz; with open windows
  where the light was green; and before he left me said irrelevantly:
  〃As for my small son; you know; we shall probably kill him between us
  before we've done with him!〃  And he made this assertion as if he
  really believed it; without any appearance of jest; his fine near…
  sighted expressive eyes looking straight into mine。
  〃Do you mean by spoiling him?〃
  〃No; by fighting for him!〃
  〃You had better give him to me to keep for you;〃 I said。  〃Let me
  remove the apple of discord!〃
  It was my extravagance of course; but he had the air of being
  perfectly serious。  〃It would be quite the best thing we could do。  I
  should be all ready to do it。〃
  〃I'm greatly obliged to you for your confidence。〃
  But he lingered with his hands in his pockets。  I felt as if within a
  few moments I had; morally speaking; taken several steps nearer to
  him。  He looked weary; just as he faced me then; looked preoccupied
  and as if there were something one might do for him。  I was terribly
  conscious of the limits of my young ability; but I wondered what such
  a service might be; feeling at bottom nevertheless that the only
  thing I could do for him was to like him。  I suppose he guessed this
  and was grateful for what was in my mind; since he went on presently:
  〃I haven't the advantage of being an American; but I also notice a
  little; and I've an idea that〃here he smiled and laid his hand on
  my shoulder〃even counting out your nationality you're not destitute
  of intelligence。  I've only known you half an hour; but!〃  For
  which again he pulled up。  〃You're very young; after all。〃
  〃But you may treat me as if I could understand you!〃 I said; and
  before he left me to dress for dinner he had virtually given me a
  promise that he would。
  When I went down into the drawing…roomI was very punctualI found
  that neither my hostess nor my host had appeared。  A lady rose from a
  sofa; however; and inclined her head as I rather surprisedly gazed at
  her。  〃I daresay you don't know me;〃 she said with the modern laugh。
  〃I'm Mark Ambient's sister。〃  Whereupon I shook hands with her;
  saluting her very low。  Her laugh was modernby which I mean that it
  consisted of the vocal agitation serving between people who meet in
  drawing…rooms as the solvent of social disparities; the medium of
  transitions; but her appearance waswhat shall I call it?medieval。
  She was pale and angular; her long thin face was inhabited by sad
  dark eyes and her black hair intertwined with golden fillets and
  curious clasps。  She wore a faded velvet robe which clung to her when
  she moved and was 〃cut;〃 as to the neck and sleeves; like the
  garments of old Italians。  She suggested a symbolic picture;
  something akin even to Durer's Melancholia; and was so perfect an
  image of a type which I; in my ignorance; supposed to be extinct;
  that while she rose before me I was almost as much startled as if I
  had seen a ghost。  I afterwards concluded that Miss Ambient wasn't
  incapable of deriving pleasure from this weird effect; and I now
  believe that reflexion concerned in her having sunk again to her seat
  with her long lean but not ungraceful arms locked together in an
  archaic manner on her knees and her mournful eyes addressing me a
  message of intentness which foreshadowed what I was subsequently to
  suffer。  She was a singular fatuous artificial creature; and I was
  never more than half to penetrate her motives and mysteries。  Of one
  thing I'm sure at least:  that they were considerably less
  insuperable than her appearance announced。  Miss Ambient was a
  restless romantic disappointed spinster; consumed with the love of
  Michael…Angelesque attitudes and mystical robes; but I'm now
  convinced she hadn't in her nature those depths of unutterable
  thought which; when you first knew her; seemed to look out from her
  eyes and to prompt her complicated gestures。  Those features in
  especial had a misleading eloquence; they lingered on you with a far…
  off dimness; an air of obstructed sympathy; which was certainly not
  always a key to the spirit of their owner; so that; of a truth; a
  young lady could scarce have been so dejected and disillusioned
  without having committed a crime for which she was consumed with
  remorse; or having parted with a hope that she couldn't sanely have
  entertained。  She had; I believe; the usual allowance of rather vain
  motives:  she wished to be looked at; she wished to be married; she
  wished to be thought original。
  It costs me a pang to speak in this irreverent manner of one of
  Ambient's name; but I shall have still less gracious things to say
  before I've finished my anecdote; and moreoverI confess itI owe
  the young lady a bit of a grudge。  Putting aside the curious cast of
  her face she had no natural aptitude for an artistic development; had
  little real intelligence。  But her affectations rubbed off on her
  brother's renown; and as there were plenty of people who darkly
  disapproved of him they could easily point to his sister as a person
  formed by his influence。  It was quite possible to regard her as a
  warning; and she had almost compromised him with the world at large。
  He was the original and she the inevitable imitation。  I suppose him
  scarce aware of the impression she mainly produced; beyond having a
  general idea that she made up very well as a Rossetti; he was used to
  her and was sorry for her; wishing she would marry and observing how
  she didn't。  Doubtless I take her too seriously; for she did me no
  harm; though I'm bound to allow that I can only half…account for her。
  She wasn't so mystical as she looked; but was a strange indirect
  uncomfortable embarrassing woman。  My story gives the reader at best
  so very small a knot to untie that I needn't hope to excite his
  curiosity by delaying to remark that Mrs。 Ambient hated her sister…
  in…law。  This I learned but later on; when other matters came to my
  knowledge。  I mention it; however; at once; for I shall perhaps not
  seem to count too much on having beguiled him if I say he must
  promptly have guessed it。  Mrs。 Ambient; a person of conscience; put
  the best face on her kinswoman; who spent a month with her twice a
  year; but it took no great insight to recognise the very different
  personal paste of the two ladies; and that the usual feminine
  hypocrisies would cost them on either side much more than the usual
  effort。  Mrs。 Ambient; smooth…haired; thin…lipped; perpetually fresh;
  must have regarded her crumpled and dishevelled visitor as an
  equivocal joke; she herself so the opposite of a Rossetti; she
  herself a Reynolds or a Lawrence; with no more far…fetched note in
  her composition than a cold ladylike candour and a well…starched
  muslin dress。
  It was in a garment and with an expression of this kind that she made
  her entrance after I had exchanged a few words with Miss Ambient。
  Her husband presently followed her and; there being no other company;
  we went to dinner。  The impressions I received at that repast are
  present to me still。  The elements of oddity in the air hovered; as
  it were; without descendingto any immediate check of my delight。
  This came mainly; of course; from Ambient's talk; the easiest and
  richest I had ever heard。  I mayn't say to…day whether he laid
  himself out to dazzle a rather juvenile pilgrim from over the sea;
  but that matters littleit seemed so natural to him to shine。  His
  spoken wit or wisdom; or whatever; had thus a charm almost beyond his
  written; that is if the high finish of his printed prose be really;
  as some people have maintained; a fault。  There was such a kindness
  in him; however; that I've no doubt it gave him ideas for me; or
  about me; to see me sit as open…mouthed as I now figure myself。  Not
  so the two ladies; who not only were v