第 64 节
作者:想聊      更新:2021-02-19 01:11      字数:9322
  Felix de Vandenesse。
  Dear Count;You received a letter from poor Madame de Mortsauf;
  which; you say; was of use in guiding you through the world;a
  letter to which you owe your distinguished career。 Permit me to
  finish your education。
  Give up; I beg of you; a really dreadful habit; do not imitate
  certain widows who talk of their first husband and throw the
  virtues of the deceased in the face of their second。 I am a
  Frenchwoman; dear count; I wish to marry the whole of the man I
  love; and I really cannot marry Madame de Mortsauf too。 Having
  read your tale with all the attention it deserves;and you know
  the interest I feel in you;it seems to me that you must have
  wearied Lady Dudley with the perfections of Madame de Mortsauf;
  and done great harm to the countess by overwhelming her with the
  experiences of your English love。 Also you have failed in tact to
  me; poor creature without other merit than that of pleasing you;
  you have given me to understand that I cannot love as Henriette or
  Arabella loved you。 I acknowledge my imperfections; I know them;
  but why so roughly make me feel them?
  Shall I tell you whom I pity?the fourth woman whom you love。 She
  will be forced to struggle against three others。 Therefore; in
  your interests as well as in hers; I must warn you against the
  dangers of your tale。 For myself; I renounce the laborious glory
  of loving you;it needs too many virtues; Catholic or Anglican;
  and I have no fancy for rivalling phantoms。 The virtues of the
  virgin of Clochegourde would dishearten any woman; however sure of
  herself she might be; and your intrepid English amazon discourages
  even a wish for that sort of happiness。 No matter what a poor
  woman may do; she can never hope to give you the joys she will
  aspire to give。 Neither heart nor senses can triumph against these
  memories of yours。 I own that I have never been able to warm the
  sunshine chilled for you by the death of your sainted Henriette。 I
  have felt you shuddering beside me。
  My friend;for you will always be my friend;never make such
  confidences again; they lay bare your disillusions; they
  discourage love; and compel a woman to feel doubtful of herself。
  Love; dear count; can only live on trustfulness。 The woman who
  before she says a word or mounts her horse; must ask herself
  whether a celestial Henriette might not have spoken better;
  whether a rider like Arabella was not more graceful; that woman
  you may be very sure; will tremble in all her members。 You
  certainly have given me a desire to receive a few of those
  intoxicating bouquetsbut you say you will make no more。 There
  are many other things you dare no longer do; thoughts and
  enjoyments you can never reawaken。 No woman; and you ought to know
  this; will be willing to elbow in your heart the phantom whom you
  hold there。
  You ask me to love you out of Christian charity。 I could do much;
  I candidly admit; for charity; in fact I could do allexcept
  love。 You are sometimes wearisome and wearied; you call your
  dulness melancholy。 Very good;so be it; but all the same it is
  intolerable; and causes much cruel anxiety to one who loves you。 I
  have often found the grave of that saint between us。 I have
  searched my own heart; I know myself; and I own I do not wish to
  die as she did。 If you tired out Lady Dudley; who is a very
  distinguished woman; I; who have not her passionate desires;
  should; I fear; turn coldly against you even sooner than she did。
  Come; let us suppress love between us; inasmuch as you can find
  happiness only with the dead; and let us be merely friendsI wish
  it。
  Ah! my dear count; what a history you have told me! At your
  entrance into life you found an adorable woman; a perfect
  mistress; who thought of your future; made you a peer; loved you
  to distraction; only asked that you would be faithful to her; and
  you killed her! I know nothing more monstrous。 Among all the
  passionate and unfortunate young men who haunt the streets of
  Paris; I doubt if there is one who would not stay virtuous ten
  years to obtain one half of the favors you did not know how to
  value! When a man is loved like that how can he ask more? Poor
  woman! she suffered indeed; and after you have written a few
  sentimental phrases you think you have balanced your account with
  her coffin。 Such; no doubt; is the end that awaits my tenderness
  for you。 Thank you; dear count; I will have no rival on either
  side of the grave。 When a man has such a crime upon his
  conscience; at least he ought not to tell of it。 I made you an
  imprudent request; but I was true to my woman's part as a daughter
  of Eve;it was your part to estimate the effect of the answer。
  You ought to have deceived me; later I should have thanked you。 Is
  it possible that you have never understood the special virtue of
  lovers? Can you not feel how generous they are in swearing that
  they have never loved before; and love at last for the first time?
  No; your programme cannot be carried out。 To attempt to be both
  Madame de Mortsauf and Lady Dudley;why; my dear friend; it would
  be trying to unite fire and water within me! Is it possible that
  you don't know women? Believe me; they are what they are; and they
  have therefore the defects of their virtues。 You met Lady Dudley
  too early in life to appreciate her; and the harm you say of her
  seems to me the revenge of your wounded vanity。 You understood
  Madame de Mortsauf too late; you punished one for not being the
  other;what would happen to me if I were neither the one nor the
  other? I love you enough to have thought deeply about your future;
  in fact; I really care for you a great deal。 Your air of the
  Knight of the Sad Countenance has always deeply interested me; I
  believed in the constancy of melancholy men; but I little thought
  that you had killed the loveliest and the most virtuous of women
  at the opening of your life。
  Well; I ask myself; what remains for you to do? I have thought it
  over carefully。 I think; my friend; that you will have to marry a
  Mrs。 Shandy; who will know nothing of love or of passion; and will
  not trouble herself about Madame de Mortsauf or Lady Dudley; who
  will be wholly indifferent to those moments of ennui which you
  call melancholy; during which you are as lively as a rainy day;a
  wife who will be to you; in short; the excellent sister of charity
  whom you are seeking。 But as for loving; quivering at a word;
  anticipating happiness; giving it; receiving it; experiencing all
  the tempests of passion; cherishing the little weaknesses of a
  beloved womanmy dear count; renounce it all! You have followed
  the advice of your good angel about young women too closely; you
  have avoided them so carefully that now you know nothing about
  them。 Madame de Mortsauf was right to place you high in life at
  the start; otherwise all women would have been against you; and
  you never would have risen in society。
  It is too late now to begin your training over again; too late to
  learn to tell us what we long to hear; to be superior to us at the
  right moment; or to worship our pettiness when it pleases us to be
  petty。 We are not so silly as you think us。 When we love we place
  the man of our choice above all else。 Whatever shakes our faith in
  our supremacy shakes our love。 In flattering us men flatter
  themselves。 If you intend to remain in society; to enjoy an
  intercourse with women; you must carefully conceal from them all
  that you have told me; they will not be willing to sow the flowers
  of their love upon the rocks or lavish their caresses to soothe a
  sickened spirit。 Women will discover the barrenness of your heart
  and you will be ever more and more unhappy。 Few among them would
  be frank enough to tell you what I have told you; or sufficiently
  good…natured to leave you without rancor; offering their
  friendship; like the woman who now subscribes herself
  Your devoted friend;
  Natalie de Manerville。
  ADDENDUM
  The following personages appear in other stories of the Human Comedy。
  Birotteau; Abbe Francois
  Cesar Birotteau
  The Vicar of Tours
  Blamont…Chauvry; Princesse de
  The Thirteen
  Madame Firmiani
  Brandon; Lady Marie Augusta
  The Member for Arcis
  La Grenadiere
  Chessel; Madame de
  The Government Clerks
  Dudley; Lord
  The Thirteen
  A Man of Business
  Another Study of Woman
  A Daughter of Eve
  Dudley; Lady Arabella
  The Ball at Sceaux
  The Magic Skin
  The Secrets of a Princess
  A Daughter of Eve
  Letters of Two Brides
  Givry
  Letters of Two Brides
  Scenes from a Courtesan's Life
  Lenoncourt; Duc de
  Cesar Birotteau
  Jealousies of a Country To