第 46 节
作者:想聊      更新:2021-02-19 01:11      字数:9322
  Monsieur de Mortsauf came to me with open arms; pressed me to him and
  kissed me on both cheeks crying out; 〃Felix; I know now that I owed
  you my life。〃
  Madame de Mortsauf stood with her back towards me during this little
  scene; under pretext of showing the horse to Madeleine。
  〃Ha; the devil! that's what women are;〃 cried the count; 〃admiring
  your horse!〃
  Madeleine turned; came up to me; and I kissed her hand; looking at the
  countess; who colored。
  〃Madeleine seems much better;〃 I said。
  〃Poor little girl!〃 said the countess; kissing her on her forehead。
  〃Yes; for the time being they are all well;〃 answered the count。
  〃Except me; Felix; I am as battered as an old tower about to fall。〃
  〃The general is still depressed;〃 I remarked to Madame de Mortsauf。
  〃We all have our blue devilsis not that the English term?〃 she
  replied。
  The whole party walked on towards the vineyard with the feeling that
  some serious event had happened。 She had no wish to be alone with me。
  Still; I was her guest。
  〃But about your horse? why isn't he attended to?〃 said the count。
  〃You see I am wrong if I think of him; and wrong if I do not;〃
  remarked the countess。
  〃Well; yes;〃 said her husband; 〃there is a time to do things; and a
  time not to do them。〃
  〃I will attend to him;〃 I said; finding this sort of greeting
  intolerable。 〃No one but myself can put him into his stall; my groom
  is coming by the coach from Chinon; he will rub him down。〃
  〃I suppose your groom is from England;〃 she said。
  〃That is where they all come from;〃 remarked the count; who grew
  cheerful in proportion as his wife seemed depressed。 Her coldness gave
  him an opportunity to oppose her; and he overwhelmed me with
  friendliness。
  〃My dear Felix;〃 he said; taking my hand; and pressing it
  affectionately; 〃pray forgive Madame de Mortsauf; women are so
  whimsical。 But it is owing to their weakness; they cannot have the
  evenness of temper we owe to our strength of character。 She really
  loves you; I know it; only〃
  While the count was speaking Madame de Mortsauf gradually moved away
  from us so as to leave us alone。
  〃Felix;〃 said the count; in a low voice; looking at his wife; who was
  now going up to the house with her two children; 〃I don't know what is
  going on in Madame de Mortsauf's mind; but for the last six weeks her
  disposition has completely changed。 She; so gentle; so devoted
  hitherto; is now extraordinarily peevish。〃
  Manette told me later that the countess had fallen into a state of
  depression which made her indifferent to the count's provocations。 No
  longer finding a soft substance in which he could plant his arrows;
  the man became as uneasy as a child when the poor insect it is
  tormenting ceases to move。 He now needed a confidant; as the hangman
  needs a helper。
  〃Try to question Madame de Mortsauf;〃 he said after a pause; 〃and find
  out what is the matter。 A woman always has secrets from her husband;
  but perhaps she will tell you what troubles her。 I would sacrifice
  everything to make her happy; even to half my remaining days or half
  my fortune。 She is necessary to my very life。 If I have not that angel
  at my side as I grow old I shall be the most wretched of men。 I do
  desire to die easy。 Tell her I shall not be here long to trouble her。
  Yes; Felix; my poor friend; I am going fast; I know it。 I hide the
  fatal truth from every one; why should I worry them beforehand? The
  trouble is in the orifice of the stomach; my friend。 I have at last
  discovered the true cause of this disease; it is my sensibility that
  is killing me。 Indeed; all our feelings affect the gastric centre。〃
  〃Then do you mean;〃 I said; smiling; 〃that the best…hearted people die
  of their stomachs?〃
  〃Don't laugh; Felix; nothing is more absolutely true。 Too keen a
  sensibility increases the play of the sympathetic nerve; these
  excitements of feeling keep the mucous membrane of the stomach in a
  state of constant irritation。 If this state continues it deranges; at
  first insensibly; the digestive functions; the secretions change; the
  appetite is impaired; and the digestion becomes capricious; sharp
  pains are felt; they grow worse day by day; and more frequent; then
  the disorder comes to a crisis; as if a slow poison were passing the
  alimentary canal; the mucous membrane thickens; the valve of the
  pylorus becomes indurated and forms a scirrhus; of which the patient
  dies。 Well; I have reached that point; my dear friend。 The induration
  is proceeding and nothing checks it。 Just look at my yellow skin; my
  feverish eyes; my excessive thinness。 I am withering away。 But what is
  to be done? I brought the seeds of the disease home with me from the
  emigration; heaven knows what I suffered then! My marriage; which
  might have repaired the wrong; far from soothing my ulcerated mind
  increased the wound。 What did I find? ceaseless fears for the
  children; domestic jars; a fortune to remake; economies which required
  great privations; which I was obliged to impose upon my wife; but
  which I was the one to suffer from; and then;I can tell this to none
  but you; Felix;I have a worse trouble yet。 Though Blanche is an
  angel; she does not understand me; she knows nothing of my sufferings
  and she aggravates them; but I forgive her。 It is a dreadful thing to
  say; my friend; but a less virtuous woman might have made me more
  happy by lending herself to consolations which Blanche never thinks
  of; for she is as silly as a child。 Moreover my servants torment me;
  blockheads who take my French for Greek! When our fortune was finally
  remade inch by inch; and I had some relief from care; it was too late;
  the harm was done; I had reached the period when the appetite is
  vitiated。 Then came my severe illness; so ill…managed by Origet。 In
  short; I have not six months to live。〃
  I listened to the count in terror。 On meeting the countess I had been
  struck with her yellow skin and the feverish brilliancy of her eyes。 I
  led the count towards the house while seeming to listen to his
  complaints and his medical dissertations; but my thoughts were all
  with Henriette; and I wanted to observe her。 We found her in the
  salon; where she was listening to a lesson in mathematics which the
  Abbe Dominis was giving Jacques; and at the same time showing
  Madeleine a stitch of embroidery。 Formerly she would have laid aside
  every occupation the day of my arrival to be with me。 But my love was
  so deeply real that I drove back into my heart the grief I felt at
  this contrast between the past and the present; and thought only of
  the fatal yellow tint on that celestial face; which resembled the halo
  of divine light Italian painters put around the faces of their saints。
  I felt the icy wind of death pass over me。 Then when the fire of her
  eyes; no longer softened by the liquid light in which in former times
  they moved; fell upon me; I shuddered; I noticed several changes;
  caused by grief; which I had not seen in the open air。 The slender
  lines which; at my last visit; were so lightly marked upon her
  forehead had deepened; her temples with their violet veins seemed
  burning and concave; her eyes were sunk beneath the brows; their
  circles browned;alas! she was discolored like a fruit when decay is
  beginning to show upon the surface; or a worm is at the core。 I; whose
  whole ambition had been to pour happiness into her soul; I it was who
  embittered the spring from which she had hoped to refresh her life and
  renew her courage。 I took a seat beside her and said in a voice filled
  with tears of repentance; 〃Are you satisfied with your own health?〃
  〃Yes;〃 she answered; plunging her eyes into mine。 〃My health is
  there;〃 she added; motioning to Jacques and Madeleine。
  The latter; just fifteen; had come victoriously out of her struggle
  with anaemia; and was now a woman。 She had grown tall; the Bengal
  roses were blooming in her once sallow cheeks。 She had lost the
  unconcern of a child who looks every one in the face; and now dropped
  her eyes; her movements were slow and infrequent; like those of her
  mother; her figure was slim; but the gracefulness of the bust was
  already developing; already an instinct of coquetry had smoothed the
  magnificent black hair which lay in bands upon her Spanish brow。 She
  was like those pretty statuettes of the Middle Ages; so delicate in
  outline; so slender in form that the eye as it seizes their charm
  fears to break them。 Health; the fruit of untold efforts; had made her
  cheeks as velvety as a peach and given to her throat the silken down
  which; like her mother's; caught the light。 She was to live! God had
  written it; dear bud of the loveliest of human flowers; on the long
  lashes of her eyelids; on the curve of those shoulders which gave
  promise of a development as superb as her mother's! This brown young
  girl; erect as a poplar; contrasted with Jacques; a fragile youth of
  seventeen; whose head h