Mortsauf　was　the　wife　of　the　soul。　The　love　which　the　mistress
  satisfies　has　its　limits；　matter　is　finite；　its　inherent　qualities
  have　an　ascertained　force；　it　is　capable　of　saturation；　often　I　felt　a
  void　even　in　Paris；　near　Lady　Dudley。　Infinitude　is　the　region　of　the
  heart；　love　had　no　limits　at　Clochegourde。　I　loved　Lady　Dudley
  passionately；　and　certainly；　though　the　animal　in　her　was　magnificent；
  she　was　also　superior　in　mind；　her　sparkling　and　satirical
  conversation　had　a　wide　range。　But　I　adored　Henriette。　At　night　I　wept
  with　happiness；　in　the　morning　with　remorse。
  Some　women　have　the　art　to　hide　their　jealousy　under　a　tone　of　angelic
  kindness；　they　are；　like　Lady　Dudley；　over　thirty　years　of　age。　Such
  women　know　how　to　feel　and　how　to　calculate；　they　press　out　the　juices
  of　to…day　and　think　of　the　future　also；　they　can　stifle　a　moan；　often
  a　natural　one；　with　the　will　of　a　huntsman　who　pays　no　heed　to　a　wound
  in　the　ardor　of　the　chase。　Without　ever　speaking　of　Madame　de
  Mortsauf；　Arabella　endeavored　to　kill　her　in　my　soul；　where　she　ever
  found　her；　her　own　passion　increasing　with　the　consciousness　of　that
  invincible　love。　Intending　to　triumph　by　comparisons　which　would　turn
  to　her　advantage；　she　was　never　suspicious；　or　complaining；　or
  inquisitive；　as　are　most　young　women；　but；　like　a　lioness　who　has
  seized　her　prey　and　carries　it　to　her　lair　to　devour；　she　watched　that
  nothing　should　disturb　her　feast；　and　guarded　me　like　a　rebellious
  captive。　I　wrote　to　Henriette　under　her　very　eyes；　but　she　never　read
  a　line　of　my　letters；　she　never　sought　in　any　way　to　know　to　whom　they
  were　addressed。　I　had　my　liberty；　she　seemed　to　say　to　herself；　〃If　I
  lose　him　it　shall　be　my　own　fault；〃　and　she　proudly　relied　on　a　love
  that　would　have　given　me　her　life　had　I　asked　for　it；in　fact　she
  often　told　me　that　if　I　left　her　she　would　kill　herself。　I　have　heard
  her　praise　the　custom　of　Indian　widows　who　burn　themselves　upon　their
  husband's　grave。　〃In　India　that　is　a　distinction　reserved　for　the
  higher　classes；〃　she　said；　〃and　is　very　little　understood　by
  Europeans；　who　are　incapable　of　understanding　the　grandeur　of　the
  privilege；　you　must　admit；　however；　that　on　the　dead　level　of　our
  modern　customs　aristocracy　can　rise　to　greatness　only　through
  unparalleled　devotions。　How　can　I　prove　to　the　middle　classes　that　the
  blood　in　my　veins　is　not　the　same　as　theirs；　unless　I　show　them　that　I
  can　die　as　they　cannot？　Women　of　no　birth　can　have　diamonds　and　satins
  and　horseseven　coats…of…arms；　which　ought　to　be　sacred　to　us；　for
  any　one　can　buy　a　name。　But　to　love；　with　our　heads　up；　in　defiance　of
  law；　to　die　for　the　idol　we　have　chosen；　with　the　sheets　of　our　bed
  for　a　shroud；　to　lay　earth　and　heaven　at　his　feet；　robbing　the
  Almighty　of　his　right　to　make　a　god；　and　never　to　betray　that　man；
  never；　never；　even　for　virtue's　sake；for；　to　refuse　him　anything　in
  the　name　of　duty　is　to　devote　ourselves　to　something　that　is　not　HE；
  and　let　that　something　be　a　man　or　an　idea；　it　is　betrayal　all　the
  same；these　are　heights　to　which　common　women　cannot　attain；　they
  know　but　two　matter…of…fact　ways；　the　great　high…road　of　virtue；　or
  the　muddy　path　of　the　courtesan。〃
  Pride；　you　see；　was　her　instrument；　she　flattered　all　vanities　by
  deifying　them。　She　put　me　so　high　that　she　might　live　at　my　feet；　in
  fact；　the　seductions　of　her　spirit　were　literally　expressed　by　an
  attitude　of　subserviency　and　her　complete　submission。　In　what　words
  shall　I　describe　those　first　six　months　when　I　was　lost　in　enervating
  enjoyments；　in　the　meshes　of　a　love　fertile　in　pleasures　and　knowing
  how　to　vary　them　with　a　cleverness　learned　by　long　experience；　yet
  hiding　that　knowledge　beneath　the　transports　of　passion。　These
  pleasures；　the　sudden　revelation　of　the　poetry　of　the　senses；
  constitute　the　powerful　tie　which　binds　young　men　to　women　older　than
  they。　It　is　the　chain　of　the　galley…slave；　it　leaves　an　ineffaceable
  brand　upon　the　soul；　filling　it　with　disgust　for　pure　and　innocent
  love　decked　with　flowers　only；　which　serves　no　alcohol　in　curiously
  chased　cups　inlaid　with　jewels　and　sparkling　with　unquenchable　fires。
  Recalling　my　early　dreams　of　pleasures　I　knew　nothing　of；　expressed　at
  Clochegourde　in　my　〃selams；〃　the　voice　of　my　flowers；　pleasures　which
  the　union　of　souls　renders　all　the　more　ardent；　I　found　many
  sophistries　by　which　I　excused　to　myself　the　delight　with　which　I
  drained　that　jewelled　cup。　Often；　when；　lost　in　infinite　lassitude；　my
  soul　disengaged　itself　from　the　body　and　floated　far　from　earth；　I
  thought　that　these　pleasures　might　be　the　means　of　abolishing　matter
  and　of　rendering　to　the　spirit　its　power　to　soar。　Sometimes　Lady
  Dudley；　like　other　women；　profited　by　the　exaltation　in　which　I　was　to
  bind　me　by　promises；　under　the　lash　of　a　desire　she　wrung　blasphemies
  from　my　lips　against　the　angel　at　Clochegourde。　Once　a　traitor　I
  became　a　scoundrel。　I　continued　to　write　to　Madame　de　Mortsauf；　in　the
  tone　of　the　lad　she　had　first　known　in　his　strange　blue　coat；　but；　I
  admit　it；　her　gift　of　second…sight　terrified　me　when　I　thought　what
  ruin　the　indiscretion　of　a　word　might　bring　to　the　dear　castle　of　my
  hopes。　Often；　in　the　midst　of　my　pleasure　a　sudden　horror　seized　me；　I
  heard　the　name　of　Henriette　uttered　by　a　voice　above　me；　like　that　in
  the　Scriptures；　demanding：　〃Cain；　where　is　thy　brother　Abel？〃
  At　last　my　letters　remained　unanswered。　I　was　seized　with　horrible
  anxiety　and　wished　to　leave　for　Clochegourde。　Arabella　did　not　oppose
  it；　but　she　talked　of　accompanying　me　to　Touraine。　Her　woman's　wit
  told　her　that　the　journey　might　be　a　means　of　finally　detaching　me
  from　her　rival；　while　I；　blind　with　fear　and　guilelessly　unsuspicious；
  did　not　see　the　trap　she　set　for　me。　Lady　Dudley　herself　proposed　the
  humblest　concessions。　She　would　stay　near　Tours；　at　a　little　country…
  place；　alone；　disguised；　she　would　refrain　from　going　out　in　the　day…
  time；　and　only　meet　me　in　the　evening　when　people　were　not　likely　to
  be　about。　I　left　Tours　on　horseback。　I　had　my　reasons　for　this；　my
  evening　excursions　to　meet　her　would　require　a　horse；　and　mine　was　an
  Arab　which　Lady　Hester　Stanhope　had　sent　to　the　marchioness；　and　which
  she　had　lately　exchanged　with　me　for　that　famous　picture　of　Rembrandt
  which　I　obtained　in　so　singular　a　way；　and　which　now　hangs　in　her
  drawing…room　in　London。　I　took　the　road　I　had　traversed　on　foot　six
  years　earlier　and　stopped　beneath　my　walnut…tree。　From　there　I　saw
  Madame　de　Mortsauf　in　a　white　dress　standing　at　the　edge　of　the
  terrace。　Instantly　I　rode　towards　her　with　the　speed　of　lightning；　in
  a　straight　line　and　across　country。　She　heard　the　stride　of　the
  swallow　of　the　desert　and　when　I　pulled　him　up　suddenly　at　the
  terrace；　she　said　to　me：　〃Oh；　you　here！〃
  Those　three　words　blasted　me。　She　knew　my　treachery。　Who　had　told　her？
  her　mother；　whose　hateful　letter　she　afterwards　showed　me。　The　feeble；
  indifferent　voice；　once　so　full　of　life；　the　dull　pallor　of　its　tones
  revealed　a　settled　grief；　exhaling　the　breath　of　flowers　cut　and　left
  to　wither。　The　tempest　of　infidelity；　like　those　freshets　of　the　Loire
  which　bury　the　meadows　for　all　time　in　sand；　had　torn　its　way　through
  her　soul；　leaving　a　desert　where　once　the　verdure　clothed　the　fields。
  I　led　my　horse　through　the　little　gate；　he　lay　down　on　the　grass　at　my
  command　and　the　countess；　who　came　forward　slowly；　exclaimed；　〃What　a
  fine　animal！〃　She　stood　with　folded　arms　lest　I　should　try　to　take　her
  hand；　I　guessed　her　meaning。
  〃I　will　let　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf　know　you　are　here；〃　she　said；　leaving
  me。
  I　stood　still；　confounded；　letting　her　go；　watching　her；　always　noble；
  slow；　and　proud；whiter　than　I　had　ever　seen　her；　on　her　brow　the
  yellow　imprint　of　bitterest　melancholy；　her　head　bent　like　a　lily
  heavy　with　rain。
  〃Henriette！〃　I　cried　in　the　agony　of　a　man　about　to　die。
  She　did　not　turn　or　pause；　she　disdained　to　say　that　she　withdrew　from
  me　that　name；　but　she　did　not　answer　to　it　and　continued　on。　I　may
  feel　paltry　and　small　in　this　dreadful　vale　of　life　where　myriads　of
  human　beings　now　dust　make　the　surface　of　the　globe；　small　indeed
  among　that　crowd；　hurrying　beneath　the　luminous　spaces　which　light
  them；　but　what　sense　of　humiliation　could　equal　that　with　which　I
  watched　her　calm　white　figure　inflexibly　mounting　with　even　steps　the
  terraces　of　her　chateau　of　Clochegourde；　the　pride　and　the　torture　of
  that　Christian　Dido？　I　cursed　Arabella　in　a　single　imprecation　which
  might　have　killed　her　had　she　heard　it；　she　who　had　left　all　for　me　as
  some　leave　all　for　God。　I　remained　lost　in　a　world　of　thought；
  conscious　of　utter　misery　on　all　sides。　Presently　I　saw　the　whole
  family　coming　down；　Jacques；　running　with　the　eagerness　of　his　age。
  Madeleine；　a　gazelle　with　mournful　eyes；　walked　with　her　mother。
  Monsieur　de　Mortsauf　came　to　me　with　open　arms；　pressed　me　to　him　and
  kissed