第 19 节
作者:
想聊 更新:2021-02-19 01:11 字数:9322
his rank entitled him at the Maison Rouge。 We are quite content that
my father should have the place。 This forced modesty;〃 she added with
some bitterness; 〃has already been of service to our son。 The king; to
whose household my father is appointed; said very graciously that he
would show Jacques the favor we were not willing to accept。 Jacques'
education; which must now be thought of; is already being discussed。
He will be the representative of two houses; the Lenoncourt and the
Mortsauf families。 I can have no ambition except for him; and
therefore my anxieties seem to have increased。 Not only must Jacques
live; but he must be made worthy of his name; two necessities which;
as you know; conflict。 And then; later; what friend will keep him safe
for me in Paris; where all things are pitfalls for the soul and
dangers for the body? My friend;〃 she said; in a broken voice; 〃who
could not see upon your brow and in your eyes that you are one who
will inhabit heights? Be some day the guardian and sponsor of our boy。
Go to Paris; if your father and brother will not second you; our
family; above all my mother; who has a genius for the management of
life; will help you。 Profit by our influence; you will never be
without support in whatever career you choose; put the strength of
your desires into a noble ambition〃
〃I understand you;〃 I said; interrupting her; 〃ambition is to be my
mistress。 I have no need of that to be wholly yours。 No; I will not be
rewarded for my obedience here by receiving favors there。 I will go; I
will make my own way; I will rise alone。 From you I would accept
everything; from others nothing。〃
〃Child!〃 she murmured; ill…concealing a smile of pleasure。
〃Besides; I have taken my vows;〃 I went on。 〃Thinking over our
situation I am resolved to bind myself to you by ties that never can
be broken。〃
She trembled slightly and stopped short to look at me。
〃What do you mean?〃 she asked; letting the couples who preceded us
walk on; and keeping the children at her side。
〃This;〃 I said; 〃but first tell me frankly how you wish me to love
you。〃
〃Love me as my aunt loved me; I gave you her rights when I permitted
you to call me by the name which she chose for her own among my
others。〃
〃Then I am to love without hope and with an absolute devotion。 Well;
yes; I will do for you what some men do for God。 I shall feel that you
have asked it。 I will enter a seminary and make myself a priest; and
then I will educate your son。 Jacques shall be myself in his own form;
political conceptions; thoughts; energy; patience; I will give him
all。 In that way I shall live near to you; and my love; enclosed in
religion as a silver image in a crystal shrine; can never be suspected
of evil。 You will not have to fear the undisciplined passions which
grasp a man and by which already I have allowed myself to be
vanquished。 I will consume my own being in the flame; and I will love
you with a purified love。〃
She turned pale and said; hurrying her words: 〃Felix; do not put
yourself in bonds that might prove an obstacle to our happiness。 I
should die of grief for having caused a suicide like that。 Child; do
you think despairing love a life's vocation? Wait for life's trials
before you judge of life; I command it。 Marry neither the Church nor a
woman; marry not at all;I forbid it。 Remain free。 You are twenty…one
years oldMy God! can I have mistaken him? I thought two months
sufficed to know some souls。〃
〃What hope have you?〃 I cried; with fire in my eyes。
〃My friend; accept our help; rise in life; make your way and your
fortune and you shall know my hope。 And;〃 she added; as if she were
whispering a secret; 〃never release the hand you are holding at this
moment。〃
She bent to my ear as she said these words which proved her deep
solicitude for my future。
〃Madeleine!〃 I exclaimed 〃never!〃
We were close to a wooden gate which opened into the park of Frapesle;
I still seem to see its ruined posts overgrown with climbing plants
and briers and mosses。 Suddenly an idea; that of the count's death;
flashed through my brain; and I said; 〃I understand you。〃
〃I am glad of it;〃 she answered in a tone which made me know I had
supposed her capable of a thought that could never be hers。
Her purity drew tears of admiration from my eyes which the selfishness
of passion made bitter indeed。 My mind reacted and I felt that she did
not love me enough even to wish for liberty。 So long as love recoils
from a crime it seems to have its limits; and love should be infinite。
A spasm shook my heart。
〃She does not love me;〃 I thought。
To hide what was in my soul I stooped over Madeleine and kissed her
hair。
〃I am afraid of your mother;〃 I said to the countess presently; to
renew the conversation。
〃So am I;〃 she answered with a gesture full of childlike gaiety。
〃Don't forget to call her Madame la duchesse; and to speak to her in
the third person。 The young people of the present day have lost these
polite manners; you must learn them; do that for my sake。 Besides; it
is such good taste to respect women; no matter what their age may be;
and to recognize social distinctions without disputing them。 The
respect shown to established superiority is guarantee for that which
is due to you。 Solidarity is the basis of society。 Cardinal Della
Rovere and Raffaelle were two powers equally revered。 You have sucked
the milk of the Revolution in your academy and your political ideas
may be influenced by it; but as you advance in life you will find that
crude and ill…defined principles of liberty are powerless to create
the happiness of the people。 Before considering; as a Lenoncourt; what
an aristocracy ought to be; my common…sense as a woman of the people
tells me that societies can exist only through a hierarchy。 You are
now at a turning…point in your life; when you must choose wisely。 Be
on our side;especially now;〃 she added; laughing; 〃when it
triumphs。〃
I was keenly touched by these words; in which the depth of her
political feeling mingled with the warmth of affection;a combination
which gives to women so great a power of persuasion; they know how to
give to the keenest arguments a tone of feeling。 In her desire to
justify all her husband's actions Henriette had foreseen the
criticisms that would rise in my mind as soon as I saw the servile
effects of a courtier's life upon him。 Monsieur de Mortsauf; king in
his own castle and surrounded by an historic halo; had; to my eyes; a
certain grandiose dignity。 I was therefore greatly astonished at the
distance he placed between the duchess and himself by manners that
were nothing less than obsequious。 A slave has his pride and will only
serve the greatest despots。 I confess I was humiliated at the
degradation of one before whom I trembled as the power that ruled my
love。 This inward repulsion made me understand the martyrdom of women
of generous souls yoked to men whose meannesses they bury daily。
Respect is a safeguard which protects both great and small alike; each
side can hold its own。 I was respectful to the duchess because of my
youth; but where others saw only a duchess I saw the mother of my
Henriette; and that gave sanctity to my homage。
We reached the great court…yard of Frapesle; where we found the
others。 The Comte de Mortsauf presented me very gracefully to the
duchess; who examined me with a cold and reserved air。 Madame de
Lenoncourt was then a woman fifty…six years of age; wonderfully well
preserved and with grand manners。 When I saw the hard blue eyes; the
hollow temples; the thin emaciated face; the erect; imposing figure
slow of movement; and the yellow whiteness of the skin (reproduced
with such brilliancy in the daughter); I recognized the cold type to
which my own mother belonged; as quickly as a mineralogist recognizes
Swedish iron。 Her language was that of the old court; she pronounced
the 〃oit〃 like 〃ait;〃 and said 〃frait〃 for 〃froid;〃 〃porteux〃 for
〃porteurs。〃 I was not a courtier; neither was I stiff…backed in my
manner to her; in fact I behaved so well that as I passed the countess
she said in a low voice; 〃You are perfect。〃
The count came to me and took my hand; saying: 〃You are not angry with
me; Felix; are you? If I was hasty you will pardon an old soldier? We
shall probably stay here to dinner; and I invite you to dine with us
on Thursday; the evening before the duchess leaves。 I must go to Tours
to…morrow to settle some business。 Don't neglect Clochegourde。 My
mother…in…law is an acquaintance I advise you to cultivate。 Her salon
will set the tone for the faubourg St。 Germain。 She has all the
traditions of the great world; and possesses an immense amount of
social knowledge; she knows the blazon of the oldest as well as the
newest family in Europe。〃
The count's good taste; or perhaps the advice of his domestic genius;
app