When　I　have　seen　this　enemy　at　my　feet；　I　shall　start　down　town
  （stopping　on　the　way　to　brain　the　teller　at　my　bank；　who　is
  perennially　paring　his　nails；　and　refuses　to　see　me　until　that
  operation　is　performed）；　to　the　office　of　a　night…boat　line；　where
  the　clerk　has　so　often　forced　me；　with　hundreds　of　other　weary
  victims；　to　stand　in　line　like　convicts；　while　he　chats　with　a
  〃lady　friend；〃　his　back　turned　to　us　and　his　leg　comfortably　thrown
  over　the　arm　of　his　chair。　　Then　I　will　take　my　blood…stained　way　…
  but；　no！　　It　is　better　not　to　put　my　victims　on　their　guard；　but　to
  abide　my　time　in　silence！　　Courage；　fellow…slaves；　our　day　will
  come！
  CHAPTER　40　…　Introspection　*
  THE　close　of　a　year　must　bring　even　to　the　careless　and　the　least
  inclined　toward　self…inspection；　an　hour　of　thoughtfulness；　a
  desire　to　glance　back　across　the　past；　and　set　one's　mental　house
  in　order；　before　starting　out　on　another　stage　of　the　journey　for
  that　none　too　distant　bourne　toward　which　we　all　are　moving。
  *　December　thirty…first；　1888。
  Our　minds　are　like　solitary　dwellers　in　a　vast　residence；　whom
  habit　has　accustomed　to　live　in　a　few　only　of　the　countless
  chambers　around　them。　　We　have　collected　from　other　parts　of　our
  lives　mental　furniture　and　bric…a…brac　that　time　and　association
  have　endeared　to　us；　have　installed　these　meagre　belongings
  convenient　to　our　hand；　and　contrived　an　entrance　giving　facile
  access　to　our　living…rooms；　avoiding　the　effort　of　a　long　detour
  through　the　echoing　corridors　and　disused　salons　behind。　　No
  acquaintances；　and　but　few　friends；　penetrate　into　the　private
  chambers　of　our　thoughts。　　We　set　aside　a　common　room　for　the
  reception　of　visitors；　making　it　as　cheerful　as　circumstances　will
  allow　and　take　care　that　the　conversation　therein　rarely　turns　on
  any　subject　more　personal　than　the　view　from　the　windows　or　the
  prophecies　of　the　barometer。
  In　the　old…fashioned　brick　palace　at　Kensington；　a　little　suite　of
  rooms　is　carefully　guarded　from　the　public　gaze；　swept；　garnished
  and　tended　as　though　the　occupants　of　long　ago　were　hourly　expected
  to　return。　　The　early　years　of　England's　aged　sovereign　were　passed
  in　these　simple　apartments　and　by　her　orders　they　have　been　kept
  unchanged；　the　furniture　and　decorations　remaining　to…day　as　when
  she　inhabited　them。　　In　one　corner；　is　assembled　a　group　of　dolls；
  dressed　in　the　quaint　finery　of　1825。　　A　set　of　miniature　cooking
  utensils　stands　near　by。　　A　child's　scrap…books　and　color…boxes　lie
  on　the　tables。　　In　one　sunny　chamber　stands　the　little　white…draped
  bed　where　the　heiress　to　the　greatest　crown　on　earth　dreamed　her
  childish　dreams；　and　from　which　she　was　hastily　aroused　one　June
  morning　to　be　saluted　as　Queen。　　So　homelike　and　livable　an　air
  pervades　the　place；　that　one　almost　expects　to　see　the　lonely
  little　girl　of　seventy　years　ago　playing　about　the　unpretending
  chambers。
  Affection　for　the　past　and　a　reverence　for　the　memory　of　the　dead
  have　caused　the　royal　wife　and　mother　to　preserve　with　the　same
  care　souvenirs　of　her　passage　in　other　royal　residences。　　The
  apartments　that　sheltered　the　first　happy　months　of　her　wedded
  life；　the　rooms　where　she　knew　the　joys　and　anxieties　of　maternity；
  have　become　for　her　consecrated　sanctuaries；　where　the　widowed；
  broken　old　lady　comes　on　certain　anniversaries　to　evoke　the
  unforgotten　past；　to　meditate　and　to　pray。
  Who；　as　the　year　is　drawing　to　its　close；　does　not　open　in　memory
  some　such　sacred　portal；　and　sit　down　in　the　familiar　rooms　to　live
  over　again　the　old　hopes　and　fears；　thrilling　anew　with　the　joys
  and　temptations　of　other　days？　　Yet；　each　year　these　pilgrimages
  into　the　past　must　become　more　and　more　lonely　journeys；　the
  friends　whom　we　can　take　by　the　hand　and　lead　back　to　our　old　homes
  become　fewer　with　each　decade。　　It　would　be　a　useless　sacrilege　to
  force　some　listless　acquaintance　to　accompany　us。　　He　would　not
  hear　the　voices　that　call　to　us；　or　see　the　loved　faces　that　people
  the　silent　passages；　and　would　wonder　what　attraction　we　could　find
  in　the　stuffy；　old…fashioned　quarters。
  Many　people　have　such　a　dislike　for　any　mental　privacy　that　they
  pass　their　lives　in　public；　or　surrounded　only　by　sporting　trophies
  and　games。　　Some　enjoy　living　in　their　pantries；　composing　for
  themselves　succulent　dishes；　and　interested　in　the　doings　of　the
  servants；　their　companions。　　Others　have　turned　their　salons　into
  nurseries；　or　feel　a　predilection　for　the　stable　and　the　dog…
  kennels。　　Such　people　soon　weary　of　their　surroundings；　and　move
  constantly；　destroying；　when　they　leave　old　quarters；　all　the
  objects　they　had　collected。
  The　men　and　women　who　have　thus　curtailed　their　belongings　are；
  however；　quite　contented　with　themselves。　　No　doubts　ever　harass
  them　as　to　the　commodity　or　appropriateness　of　their　lodgements　and
  look　with　pity　and　contempt　on　friends　who　remain　faithful　to　old
  habitations。　　The　drawback　to　a　migratory　existence；　however；　is
  the　fact　that；　as　a　French　saying　has　put　it；　CEUX　QUI　SE　REFUSENT
  LES　PENSEES　SERIEUSES　TOMBENT　DANS　LES　IDEES　NOIRES。　　These　people
  are　surprised　to　find　as　the　years　go　by　that　the　futile　amusements
  to　which　they　have　devoted　themselves　do　not　fill　to　their
  satisfaction　all　the　hours　of　a　lifetime。　　Having　provided　no　books
  nor　learned　to　practise　any　art；　the　time　hangs　heavily　on　their
  hands。　　They　dare　not　look　forward　into　the　future；　so　blank　and
  cheerless　does　it　appear。　　The　past　is　even　more　distasteful　to
  them。　　So；　to　fill　the　void　in　their　hearts；　they　hurry　out　into
  the　crowd　as　a　refuge　from　their　own　thoughts。
  Happy　those　who　care　to　revisit　old　abodes；　childhood's　remote
  wing；　and　the　moonlit　porches　where　they　knew　the　rapture　of　a
  first…love　whisper。　　Who　can　enter　the　chapel　where　their　dead　lie；
  and　feel　no　blush　of　self…reproach；　nor　burning　consciousness　of
  broken　faith　nor　wasted　opportunities？　　The　new　year　will　bring　to
  them　as　near　an　approach　to　perfect　happiness　as　can　be　attained　in
  life's　journey。　　The　fortunate　mortals　are　rare　who　can；　without　a
  heartache　or　regret；　pass　through　their　disused　and　abandoned
  dwellings；　who　dare　to　open　every　door　and　enter　all　the　silent
  rooms；　who　do　not　hurry　shudderingly　by　some　obscure　corners；　and
  return　with　a　sigh　of　relief　to　the　cheerful　sunlight　and　murmurs
  of　the　present。
  Sleepless　midnight　hours　come　inevitably　to　each　of　us；　when　the
  creaking　gates　of　subterranean　passages　far　down　in　our
  consciousness　open　of　themselves；　and　ghostly　inhabitants　steal　out
  of　awful　vaults　and　force　us　to　look　again　into　their　faces　and
  touch　their　unhealed　wounds。
  An　old　lady　whose　cheerfulness　under　a　hundred　griefs　and
  tribulations　was　a　marvel　and　an　example；　once　told　a　man　who　had
  come　to　her　for　counsel　in　a　moment　of　bitter　trouble；　that　she　had
  derived　comfort　when　difficulties　loomed　big　around　her　by　writing
  down　all　her　cares　and　worries；　making　a　list　of　the　subjects　that
  harassed　her；　and　had　always　found　that；　when　reduced　to　material
  written　words；　the　dimensions　of　her　troubles　were　astonishingly
  diminished。　　She　recommended　her　procedure　to　the　troubled　youth；
  and　prophesied　that　his　anxieties　would　dwindle　away　in　the　clear
  atmosphere　of　pen　and　paper。
  Introspection；　the　deliberate　unlatching　of　closed　wickets；　has　the
  same　effect　of　stealing　away　the　bitterness　from　thoughts　that；　if
  left　in　the　gloom　of　semi…oblivion；　will　grow　until　they　overshadow
  a　whole　life。　　It　is　better　to　follow　the　example　of　England's　pure
  Queen；　visiting　on　certain　anniversaries　our　secret　places　and
  holding　communion　with　the　past；　for　it　is　by　such　scrutiny　only
  THAT　MEN　MAY　RISE　ON　STEPPING…STONES
  OF　THEIR　DEAD　SELVES　TO　HIGHER　THINGS。
  Those　who　have　courage　to　perform　thoroughly　this　task　will　come
  out　from　the　silent　chambers　purified　and　chastened；　more　lenient
  to　the　faults　and　shortcomings　of　others；　and　better　fitted　to　take
  up　cheerfully　the　burdens　of　a　new　year。
  End