第 38 节
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风雅颂 更新:2021-02-19 01:01 字数:9321
arknesses; above him and below。 He was going along this path without looking back; without a thought for those he left behind; without a single word to cheer him on his way; walking as Dr。 Martineau had sometimes watched him walking; without haste or avidity; walking as a man might along some great picture gallery with which he was perhaps even over familiar。 His hands would be in his pockets; his indifferent eyes upon the clouds about him。 And as he strolled along that path; the darkness closed in upon him。 His figure became dim and dimmer。 Whither did that figure go? Did that enveloping darkness hide the beginnings of some strange long journey or would it just dissolve that figure into itself? Was that indeed the end? Dr。 Martineau was one of that large class of people who can neither imagine nor disbelieve in immortality。 Dimmer and dimmer grew the figure but still it remained visible。 As one can continue to see a star at dawn until one turns away。 Or one blinks or nods and it is gone。 Vanished now are the beliefs that held our race for countless generations。 Where now was that Path of the Dead; mapped so clearly; faced with such certainty; in which the heliolithic peoples believed from Avebury to Polynesia? Not always have we had to go alone and unprepared into uncharted darknesses。 For a time the dream artist used a palette of the doctor's vague memories of things Egyptian; he painted a new roll of the Book of the Dead; at a copy of which the doctor had been looking a day or so before。 Sir Richmond became a brown naked figure; crossing a bridge of danger; passing between terrific monsters; ferrying a dark and dreadful stream。 He came to the scales of judgment before the very throne of Osiris and stood waiting while dogheaded Anubis weighed his conscience and that evil monster; the Devourer of the Dead; crouched ready if the judgment went against him。 The doctor's attention concentrated upon the scales。 A memory of Swedengorg's Heaven and Hell mingled with the Egyptian fantasy。 Now at last it was possible to know something real about this man's soul; now at last one could look into the Secret Places of his Heart。 Anubis and Thoth; the god with the ibis head; were reading the heart as if it were a book; reading aloud from it to the supreme judge。 Suddenly the doctor found himself in his own dreams。 His anxiety to plead for his friend had brought him in。 He too had become a little painted figure and he was bearing a book in his hand。 He wanted to show that the laws of the new world could not be the same as those of the old; and the book he was bringing as evidence was his own Psychology of a New Age。 The clear thought of that book broke up his dream by releasing a train of waking troubles。 。 。 。 You have been six months on Chapter Ten; will it ever be ready for Osiris? 。 。 。 will it ever be ready for print? 。 。 。 Dream and waking thoughts were mingled like sky and cloud upon a windy day in April。 Suddenly he saw again that lonely figure on the narrow way with darknesses above and darknesses below and darknesses on every hand。 But this time it was not Sir Richmond。 。 。 。 Who was it? Surely it was Everyman。 Everyman had to travel at last along that selfsame road; leaving love; leaving every task and every desire。 But was it Everyman? 。 。 。 A great fear and horror came upon the doctor。 That little figure was himself! And the book which was his particular task in life was still undone。 He himself stood in his turn upon that lonely path with the engulfing darknesses about him。 。 。 。 He seemed to wrench himself awake。 He lay very still for some moments and then he sat up in bed。 An overwhelming conviction had arisenin his mind that Sir Richmond was dead。 He felt he must know for certain。 He switched on his electric light; mutely interrogated his round face reflected in the looking glass; got out of bed; shuffled on his slippers and went along the passage to the telephone。 He hesitated for some seconds and then lifted the receiver。 It was his call which aroused the nurse to the fact of Sir Richmond's death。 Section 6 Lady Hardy arrived home in response to Dr。 Martineau's telegram late on the following evening。 He was with her next morning; comforting and sympathetic。 Her big blue eyes; bright with tears; met his very wistfully; her little body seemed very small and pathetic in its simple black dress。 And yet there was a sort of bravery about her。 When he came into the drawing…room she was in one of the window recesses talking to a serious…looking woman of the dressmaker type。 She left her business at once to come to him。 〃Why did I not know in time?〃 she cried。 〃No one; dear lady; had any idea until late last night;〃 he said; taking both her hands in his for a long friendly sympathetic pressure。 〃I might have known that if it had been possible you would have told me;〃 she said。 〃You know;〃 she added; 〃I don't believe it yet。 I don't realize it。 I go about these formalities〃 〃I think I can understand that。〃 〃He was always; you know; not quite here 。 。 。 。 It is as if he were a little more not quite here 。 。 。 。 I can't believe it is over。 。 。 。 〃 She asked a number of questions and took the doctor's advice upon various details of the arrangements。 〃My daughter Helen comes home to…morrow afternoon;〃 she explained。 〃She is in Paris。 But our son is far; far away in the Punjab。 I have sent him a telegram。 。 。 。 It is so kind of you to come in to me。〃 Dr。 Martineau went more than half way to meet Lady Hardy's disposition to treat him as a friend of the family。 He had conceived a curious; half maternal affection for Sir Richmond that had survived even the trying incident of the Salisbury parting and revived very rapidly during the last few weeks。 This affection extended itself now to Lady Hardy。 Hers was a type that had always appealed to him。 He could understand so well the perplexed loyalty with which she was now setting herself to gather together some preservative and reassuring evidences of this man who had always been; as she put it; 〃never quite here。〃 It was as if she felt that now it was at last possible to make a definite reality of him。 He could be fixed。 And as he was fixed he would stay。 Never more would he be able to come in and with an almost expressionless glance wither the interpretation she had imposed upon him。 She was finding much comfort in this task of reconstruction。 She had gathered together in the drawingroom every presentable portrait she had been able to find of him。 He had never; she said; sat to a painter; but there was an early pencil sketch done within a couple of years of their marriage; there was a number of photographs; several of whichshe wanted the doctor's advice upon this pointshe thought might be enlarged; there was a statuette done by some woman artist who had once beguiled him into a sitting。 There was also a painting she had had worked up from a photograph and some notes。 She flitted among these memorials; going from one to the other; undecided which to make the standard portrait。 〃 That painting; I think; is most like;〃 she said: 〃as he was before the war。 But the war and the Commission changed him; worried him and aged him。 。 。 。 I grudged him to that Commission。 He let it worry him frightfully。〃 〃It meant very much to him;〃 said Dr。 Martineau。 〃It meant too much to him。 But of course his ideas were splendid。 You know it is one of my hopes to get some sort of book done; explaining his ideas。 He would never write。 He despised itunreasonably。 A real thing done; he said; was better than a thousand books。 Nobody read books; he said; but women; parsons and idle people。 But there must be books。 And I want one。 Something a little more real than the ordinary official biography。 。 。 。 I have thought of young Leighton; the secretary of the Commission。 He seems thoroughly intelligent and sympathetic and really anxious to reconcile Richmond's views with those of the big business men on the Committee。 He might do。 。 。 。 Or perhaps I might be able to persuade two or three people to write down their impressions of him。 A sort of memorial volume。 。 。 。 But he was shy of friends。 There was no man he talked to very intimately about his ideas unless it was to you 。 。 。 I wish I had the writer's gift; doctor。〃 Section 7 It was on the second afternoon that Lady Hardy summoned Dr。 Martineau by telephone。 〃Something rather disagreeable;〃 she said。 〃If you could spare the time。 If you could come round。 〃It is frightfully distressing;〃 she said when he got round to her; and for a time she could tell him nothing more。 She was having tea and she gave him some。 She fussed about with cream and cakes and biscuits。 He noted a crumpled letter thrust under the edge of the silver tray。 〃He talked; I know; very intimately with you;〃 she said; coming to it at last。 〃He probably went into things with you that he never talked about with anyone else。 Usually he was very reserved; Even with me there were things about which he said nothing。〃 〃We did;〃 said Dr。 Martineau with discretion; 〃deal a little with his private life。 〃There was someone〃 Dr。 Martineau nodded and then; not to be too portentous; took and bit a biscuit。 〃Did he by any chance ever mention someone called Martin Leeds?〃 Dr。 Martineau seemed to reflect。 Then realizing that this was