第 8 节
作者:
想聊 更新:2021-02-19 00:37 字数:9320
he also extinguished as they left the hall and ascended the stairs。 The
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younger's pride was struggling for mastery; but he conquered it and spoke
again。
〃I wish to Heaven you could see it from another point of view than
your own; Tom。〃
〃I have no point of view。 You're rather exasperating; and don't seem
to understand that; even if I might have changed my mind before; it's
impossible now。〃
〃That's really only a foolish sort of pride。 If I chose my words
clumsily … 〃
〃You did。 The devil and all his angels wouldn't make me climb down
now。〃
The younger left him; and returned in a minute or two with the
revolver。
〃Good…night;〃 he said。
〃Good…night; old boy。 Thank you。 Loaded?〃
〃In all the chambers。 Funny you should want it。〃
〃Take it back; then。〃
But Henry did not answer; and they parted。 Each sought his own
bedroom; and while Lennox retired at once and might have been expected
to pass a night more mentally peaceful than the other; in reality it was not
so。
The younger slept ill; while May suffered no emotion but annoyance。
He was contemptuous of Henry。 It seemed to him that he had taken a
rather mean and unsporting line; nor did he believe for a moment that he
was honest。 Lennox had a modern mind; he had been through the
furnace of war; he had received a first…class education。 It seemed
impossible to imagine that he spoke the truth; or that his sudden suspicion
of real perils; beyond human power to combat; could be anything but a
spiteful attempt to put May off; after he himself had lost the toss。 Yet
that seemed unlike a gentleman。 Then the allusion to Mary perturbed the
sailor。 He could not quarrel with the words; but he resented the advice;
seeing what it was based upon。
His anger lessened swiftly; however; and before he started his
adventure he had dismissed Henry from his mind。 He put on pyjamas
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and a dressing…gown; took a candle; a railway…rug; his watch; and the
loaded revolver。
Then he walked quietly down the corridor to the Grey Room。 On
reaching it his usual good temper returned; and he found himself entirely
happy and contented。 He unlocked the forbidden entrance; set his candle
by the bed; and locked the door again from inside。 He rolled up his
dressing…gown for a pillow; and placed his watch and revolver and candle
at his hand on a chair。 A few broken reflections drifted through his mind;
as he yawned and prepared to sleep。 His brain brought up events of the
day … a missed shot; a good shot; lunch under a haystack with Mary and
Fayre…Michell's niece。 She was smart and slowy and slangy … cheap
every way compared with Mary。 What would his wife think if she knew
he was so near? Come to him for certain。 He cordially hoped that he
might not be recalled to his ship; but there was a possibility of it。 It
would be rather a lark to show the governor over the Indomitable。 She
was a 〃hush…hush〃 ship … one of the wonders of the Navy still。 Funny
that the Italian roof of the Grey Room looked like a dome; thought it was
really flat。 A cunning trick of perspective。
It was a still and silent night; moonless; very dark; and very tranquil。
He went to the window to throw it open。
Only a solitary being waked long that night at Chadlands; and only a
solitary mind suffered tribulation。 But into the small hours Henry
Lennox endured the companionship of disquiet thoughts。 He could not
sleep; and his brain; clear enough; retraced no passage from the past day。
Indeed the events of the day had sunk into remote time。 He was only
concerned with the present; and he wondered while he worried that he
should be worrying。 Yet a proleptic instinct made him look forward。
He had neither lied nor exaggerated to May。 From the moment of losing
the toss; he honestly experienced a strong; subjective impression of danger
arising out of the proposed attack on the mysteries of the Grey Room。 It
was; indeed; that consciousness of greater possibilities in the adventure
than May admitted or imagined which made Lennox so insistent。 Looking
back; he perceived many things; and chiefly that he had taken a wrong line;
and approached Mary's husband from a fatal angle。 Too late he
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recognized his error。 It was inevitable that a hint of suspected danger
would confirm the sailor in his resolution; and that such a hint should
follow the spin of the coin against Lennox; and be accompanied by the
assurance that; had he won; Henry would have proceeded; despite his
intuitions; to do what he now begged Tom not to do … that was a piece of
clumsy work which he deeply regretted。
At the hour when his own physical forces were lowest; his errors of
diplomacy forced themselves upon his mind。 He wasted much time; as
all men do upon their beds; in anticipating to…morrow; in considering what
is going to happen; or what is not; in weighing their own future words and
deeds given a variety of contingencies。 For reason; which at first kept him;
despite his disquiet; in the region of the rational; grew weaker with Henry
as the night advanced; the shadow of trouble deepened as his weary wits
lost their balance to combat it。 The premonition was as formless and
amorphous as a cloud; and; though he could not see any shape to his fear;
or define its limitations; it grew darker ere he slept。 He considered what
might happen and; putting aside any lesser disaster; tried to imagine what
the morning would bring if May actually succumbed。
For the moment the size of such an imaginary disaster served curiously
to lessen his uneasiness。 Pushed to extremities; the idea became merely
absurd。 He won a sort of comfort from such an outrageous proposition;
because it brought him back to the solid ground of reason and the
assurance that some things simply do not happen。 From this extravagant
summit of horror; his fears gradually receded。 Such a waking nightmare
even quieted his nerves when it was past; for if a possibility presents a
ludicrous side; then its horror must diminish by so much。 Moreover;
Henry told himself that if the threat of a disaster so absolute could really
be felt by him; it was his duty to rise at once; intervene; and; if necessary;
summon his uncle and force May to leave the Grey Room immediately。
This idea amused him again and offered another jest。 The tragedy
really resolved into jests。 He found himself smiling at the picture of May
being treated like a disobedient schoolboy。 But if that happened; and
Tom was proclaimed the sinner; what must be Henry's own fate? To win
the reputation of an unsportsmanlike sneak in Mary's opinion as well as
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Tom's。 He certainly could call upon nobody to help him now。 But he
might go and look up May himself。 That would be very sharply resented;
however。 He travelled round and round in circles; then asked himself
what he would do and say to…morrow if anything happened to Tom …
nothing; of course; fatal; but something perhaps so grave that May himself
would be unable to explain it。 In that case Henry could only state facts
exactly as they had occurred。 But there would be a deuce of a muddle if
he had to make