第 8 节
作者:想聊      更新:2021-02-19 00:37      字数:9320
  he   also   extinguished   as   they   left   the   hall   and   ascended   the   stairs。  The
  25
  … Page 26…
  THE GREY ROOM
  younger's pride was struggling for mastery; but he conquered it and spoke
  again。
  〃I   wish   to   Heaven   you   could   see   it   from  another   point   of view   than
  your own; Tom。〃
  〃I have no point of view。         You're rather exasperating; and don't seem
  to   understand   that;   even   if   I   might   have   changed   my   mind   before;   it's
  impossible now。〃
  〃That's    really   only   a  foolish   sort  of  pride。   If   I  chose   my   words
  clumsily …     〃
  〃You did。      The devil and all his angels wouldn't make me climb down
  now。〃
  The    younger     left  him;   and   returned    in  a  minute    or  two   with   the
  revolver。
  〃Good…night;〃 he said。
  〃Good…night; old boy。         Thank you。       Loaded?〃
  〃In all the chambers。       Funny you should want it。〃
  〃Take it back; then。〃
  But   Henry   did   not   answer;   and   they   parted。    Each   sought   his   own
  bedroom; and while Lennox retired at once and might have been expected
  to pass a night more mentally peaceful than the other; in reality it was not
  so。
  The younger slept ill; while May suffered no emotion but annoyance。
  He   was   contemptuous   of   Henry。       It   seemed   to   him   that   he   had   taken   a
  rather mean and unsporting line; nor did he believe for a moment that he
  was    honest。     Lennox      had   a  modern     mind;    he  had   been    through    the
  furnace     of  war;    he  had    received    a  first…class   education。     It   seemed
  impossible to imagine that he spoke the truth; or that his sudden suspicion
  of   real   perils;  beyond   human   power   to   combat;   could   be   anything   but   a
  spiteful   attempt   to   put May  off;  after he himself   had lost the   toss。        Yet
  that seemed unlike a gentleman。 Then the allusion to Mary perturbed the
  sailor。    He could not quarrel with the words; but he resented the advice;
  seeing what it was based upon。
  His    anger    lessened    swiftly;   however;      and   before    he   started   his
  adventure   he   had   dismissed   Henry   from   his   mind。      He   put   on   pyjamas
  26
  … Page 27…
  THE GREY ROOM
  and   a   dressing…gown;   took   a   candle;   a   railway…rug;   his   watch;   and   the
  loaded revolver。
  Then   he   walked   quietly   down   the   corridor   to   the   Grey   Room。       On
  reaching it his usual good temper returned; and he found himself entirely
  happy and contented。          He unlocked the forbidden entrance; set his candle
  by   the   bed;   and   locked   the   door   again   from   inside。   He   rolled   up    his
  dressing…gown for a pillow; and placed his watch and revolver and candle
  at his hand on a chair。       A few broken reflections drifted through his mind;
  as he yawned and prepared to sleep。               His brain brought up events of the
  day … a missed shot; a good shot; lunch under a haystack with Mary and
  Fayre…Michell's   niece。        She   was   smart   and   slowy   and   slangy   …   cheap
  every way compared with Mary。               What would his wife think if she knew
  he was so near?         Come to him for certain。           He cordially hoped that he
  might   not   be   recalled   to   his   ship;   but   there   was   a   possibility   of   it。 It
  would be rather a lark to show the governor over the Indomitable。                        She
  was   a   〃hush…hush〃   ship   …   one   of   the   wonders   of   the   Navy   still。 Funny
  that the Italian roof of the Grey Room looked like a dome; thought it was
  really flat。    A cunning trick of perspective。
  It was a still and silent night; moonless; very dark; and very tranquil。
  He went to the window to throw it open。
  Only a solitary being waked long that night at Chadlands; and only a
  solitary    mind     suffered    tribulation。    But     into   the  small    hours    Henry
  Lennox endured   the  companionship   of disquiet   thoughts。                He  could not
  sleep; and his brain; clear enough; retraced no passage from the past day。
  Indeed   the   events   of   the   day   had   sunk   into   remote   time。  He   was   only
  concerned   with   the   present;   and   he   wondered   while   he   worried   that   he
  should   be   worrying。       Yet   a   proleptic   instinct   made   him   look   forward。
  He had neither lied nor exaggerated to May。                From the moment of losing
  the toss; he honestly experienced a strong; subjective impression of danger
  arising out of the proposed attack on the mysteries of the Grey Room。                       It
  was;   indeed;   that   consciousness   of   greater   possibilities   in   the   adventure
  than May admitted or imagined which made Lennox so insistent。 Looking
  back; he perceived many things; and chiefly that he had taken a wrong line;
  and     approached      Mary's     husband     from    a   fatal  angle。     Too     late   he
  27
  … Page 28…
  THE GREY ROOM
  recognized   his   error。     It   was   inevitable   that   a   hint   of   suspected   danger
  would   confirm   the   sailor   in   his   resolution;   and   that   such   a   hint   should
  follow   the   spin   of   the   coin   against   Lennox;   and   be   accompanied   by   the
  assurance   that;   had   he   won;   Henry   would   have   proceeded;   despite   his
  intuitions; to do what he now begged Tom not to do … that was a piece of
  clumsy work which he deeply regretted。
  At the hour when his own physical forces were lowest; his errors   of
  diplomacy forced themselves upon his mind。                  He wasted much time; as
  all men do upon their beds; in anticipating to…morrow; in considering what
  is going to happen; or what is not; in weighing their own future words and
  deeds given a variety of contingencies。 For reason; which at first kept him;
  despite his disquiet; in the region of the rational; grew weaker with Henry
  as the night advanced; the shadow of trouble deepened as his weary wits
  lost   their   balance   to   combat   it。  The   premonition   was   as   formless   and
  amorphous as a cloud; and; though he could not see any shape to his fear;
  or define its limitations; it grew darker ere he slept。 He considered what
  might happen and; putting aside any lesser disaster; tried to imagine what
  the morning would bring if May actually succumbed。
  For the moment the size of such an imaginary disaster served curiously
  to lessen his uneasiness。         Pushed to extremities; the idea became merely
  absurd。     He won a sort of comfort from such an outrageous proposition;
  because      it  brought   him    back    to  the  solid   ground     of  reason    and   the
  assurance that some things simply do not happen。                 From this extravagant
  summit of horror; his fears gradually receded。               Such a waking nightmare
  even   quieted   his   nerves   when   it   was   past;   for   if   a   possibility   presents   a
  ludicrous   side;   then   its   horror   must   diminish   by   so   much。     Moreover;
  Henry told himself that if the threat of a disaster so absolute could really
  be felt by him; it was his duty to rise at once; intervene; and; if necessary;
  summon his uncle and force May to leave the Grey Room immediately。
  This   idea   amused   him   again   and   offered   another   jest。     The   tragedy
  really resolved into jests。       He found himself smiling at the picture of May
  being   treated   like   a   disobedient   schoolboy。      But   if   that   happened;   and
  Tom was proclaimed the sinner; what must be Henry's own fate?                       To win
  the reputation of an unsportsmanlike sneak   in Mary's opinion as well   as
  28
  … Page 29…
  THE GREY ROOM
  Tom's。     He certainly could call upon nobody to help him now。                    But he
  might go and look up May himself。             That would be very sharply resented;
  however。      He   travelled   round   and   round   in   circles;   then   asked   himself
  what   he   would   do   and   say   to…morrow   if   anything   happened   to   Tom   …
  nothing; of course; fatal; but something perhaps so grave that May himself
  would be unable to explain it。          In that case Henry could only state facts
  exactly as they had occurred。          But there would be a deuce of a muddle if
  he   had   to   make