第 6 节
作者:
谁与争疯 更新:2021-02-19 00:36 字数:9322
you。〃
I remember how shocked I would be to think I would ever be like that
naughty Sarah。
A positive indication of a corrupt age is the lack of respect children
have for parents。 This is largely owing to the neglect of teachers。 I
am heartily thankful I was taught to say 'Yes Ma'am; and 'No; ma'am;'
'Yes; Sir; and No; Sir。' Now it is'Yah! Yes; No; What; etc。 Nothing
is a greater letter of credit than politeness and it costs nothing。 T'is not
the child's fault but the parents and teachers。
I was; when a child; always doing something; was very fond of
climbing; seemed to have a mania for it。 I never saw a tall tree that I
did not try to climb; or wish I could。 I used to run bareheaded over the
fields and woods with the other children; lifting up rocks and logs to look
at the bugs and worms。 When we found a dead chicken; bird; rat or
mouse; we would have a funeral。 I would usually be the preacher and we
would kneel down and while one prayed; the rest would look through
their fingers; to see what the others were doing。 We would sing and clap
our hands and shake hands; then we would play: 〃Come and see。〃
I never had but one doll; bought out of a store; it was given to me by
Dr。 Jackson for taking my medicine; when I was sick。 We made rag
dolls out of dresses。 My delight was to have one of the colored women's
babies。 We would go visiting and take our dolls; and would tell of the
dreadful times we had and of how mean our husbands were to the children;
sometimes one would tell of how good instead。 And then we would
catch bees in the althea blooms。 One of the delightful pastimes was to
make mud cakes and put them on boards to dry。 We had some clay that
we could mould anything out ofall kind of animals; and; indeed; there
were shapes worked out by little fingers never seen before。
The race question is a serious one。 The kindly feeling between black
and white is giving place to bitterness with the rising generations。 One
reason of this seems to be a jealousy of the whites for fear the negroes
will presume to be socially equal with them。 The negro race should
avoid this; should not desire it; it would be of no real value to them。
They are a distinct race with characteristics which they need not wish
to exchange。 When a negro tries to imitate white folks; he is a mongrel。
I will say to my colored brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus; Never
depart from your race lines and bearings; keep true to your nature;
your simplicity; and happy dispositionand above all come back to the
'Oldtime' religion; you will never strand on that rock。
CHAPTER III。
MOVED TO WOODFORD COUNTY; KENTUCKY。ALSO MOVED TO MISSOURI。SAVED
FROM BEING A THIEF。MY CONVERSIONGOING SOUTH AT OPENING OF
THE CIVIL WAR。AN INCIDENT OF MY GIRLHOOD SCHOOL DAYS。WHY I
HAD TO BELIEVE IN REVELATION。SPIRITUALISM OR WITCHCRAFT。
In 1854; we moved to Woodford County; Kentucky; and bought a farm
from Mr。 Hibler; on the pike; between Midway and Versailles。 Mr。 Warren
Viley was our nearest neighbor。 My father was one of the trustees in
building the Orphans' Home at Midway。 Here in Midway I attended Sunday
school and I had a very faithful teacher who taught me the Word of
God。 I have forgotten her name but I can see her sweet face now; as she
planted seed in my heart that are still bringing forth fruit。
A minister came to our house one day and gave me a book to read;
which made a very deep impression on me。 As well as I can remember
it was called: 〃The Children of the Heavenly King。〃 This story represented
three brothers; one; the youngest; was named Ezra; the other Ulrich;
the third I forget。 These three were intrusted with watching certain passes
in the mountains during the warfare between a great; good king; and a
bad one; and in proportion as these boys were faithful; the good king was
victorious in battle; but when they neglected their duty; he would suffer
loss。 The character of little Ezra was a sweet; unselfish one。 He tried
so hard to help; and have his brothers do right。 He would run from his
post to wake them up; and tried to make up for their neglect; would
do without rest and food for himself; and plead with them to do their duty。
At last; when the king came; little Ezra was richly rewarded; Ulrich barely
passed; and the unfaithful one was taken out amidst weeping; wailing
and gnashing of teeth; and the door was shut。 The minister did not know
what good he had done。
〃Only a thought; but the work it wrought;
Could never by tongue or pen be taught;
For it ran thro' a life; like a thread of gold;
And the life bore fruit; an hundred fold。
Only a word; but it was spoken in love;
With a whispered prayer to the Lord above;
And the angels in heaven rejoiced once more
For a new…born soul entered in; at the door。〃
I resolved to be like little Ezra as near as I could。 When I was a
child I fought against my selfish nature。 I would often give away my
doll clothes and other things that I wanted to keep myself。 Some of the
strongest characteristics of my life were awakened in my childhood。 I
would often blush with shame; when committing sins; and I had a great
fear of the judgement day; it would terrify me when hearing of Jesus
coming to the earth。 I would often ask myself: 〃Where can I hide?〃
If the public knew of the smashing God gave me the strength to do in my
heart; they would not wonder at my courage in smashing the murder…
shops of our land。 〃He that ruleth his own spirit; is greater than he that
taketh a city。〃
In 1855; we moved to Missouri; just a year before the trouble broke
out between Kansas and Missouri。 Missouri determined to make Kansas
a slave state; but Kansas said she would not have a slave upon her soil。
Squads of men in Missouri would often go into Kansas and commit depredations。
At one time they burned Lawrence; Kansas; and killed many
people。 This trouble continued to grow worse until it brought on the great
Civil War。
When we moved from Kentucky to Missouri; I took a severe cold on
the boat; which made me an invalid for years。 I was not a truthful child;
neither was I honest。 My mother was very strict with me in many ways
and I would often tell her lies to avoid restraint or punishment。 If there
was anything I wanted about the house; especially something to eat; I
would steal it; if I could。 The colored servants would often ask me to
steal things for them。 My nurse Betsy; would say: 〃Carry get me
a cup of sugar; butter; thread or needles;〃 and many other things。
This would make me sly and dishonest。 I used to go and see my aunts and
stay for months。 I would open their boxes and bureau drawers and steal
ribbons and laces and make doll clothes out of them。 I would steal perfumery
and would run out of the room to prevent them from smelling it。
I am telling this for a purpose。 Many little children may be doing what
I did; not thinking of what a serious thing it is; and I write this to show
them how I was cured of dishonesty: I got a little book at Sunday school
and it told the way people became thieves; by beginning to take little things
naming them; and some of these were the very things I had been taking。
I was greatly shocked to see myself a thief; it had never occurred to
me that I was as bad as that。 I thought one had to steal something of
great value to be a thief。 My repentance was sincere; and I was made honest
by this blessed book; so much so that even after I became grown;
if any article was left in my house I would give it away; unless I could
find the owner。 I was perfectly delighted when I was entirely free。 I asked
for everything I wanted; even a pin。 After that; I could show my doll
clothes; and it was not necessary for me to be sly or tell stories any more。
It was about this time I was converted。 There was a protracted meeting
at a place called Hickman's Mill; Jackson County; Missouri。 The
minister was gray haired and belonged to the Christian or Disciples
church; the one my father belonged to。 I was at this time ten years
old and went with my father to church on Lord's Day morning。 At
the close of the sermon; and during the invitation; my father stepped
to the pulpit and spoke to the minister and he looked over in my
direction。 At this I began to weep bitterly; seemed to be taken up; and sat
down on the front bench。 I could not have told any one what I wept for;
except it was a longing to be better。 I had often thought before this
that I was in danger of going to the 〃Bad place;〃 especially I would be
afraid to think of the time that I should see Jesus come。 I wanted to hide
from Him。 My father had a cousin living at Hickman's Mill; Ben Robertson。
His wife; cousin Jennie; came up to me at the close of the service;
and said: 〃Carry; I believe you know what you are doing。〃 But I did not。
Oh; how I wanted some one to explain to me。 The next day I was taken to
a running stream about two miles away; and; although it was quite cold
and some ice in the water; I felt no fear。 It seemed like a dream。 I know
God will bless the ordinance of baptism; for the little Carry that walked
into the water was different from the one who walked out。 I said no word。
I felt that I could not sp