第 4 节
作者:谁与争疯      更新:2021-02-19 00:36      字数:9322
  It would be such d joy to my father to know that I did this to save his
  honor。 When I see him; in our heavenly home; he will bless me for this。
  〃Love knows no sacrifice。〃
  I can not call to mind when the thought of self; governed any of my
  father's actions。 It was his delight to provide for the comfort of others。
  Devoted to his family and friends; and such a friend to the poor; I have
  heard my mother say that he made every one rich who worked for him。
  When I first remember him he was a 〃Trader〃 and left his farm to an
  overseer。 My father drove hogs to Cincinnati before there were any
  railways。 I was always at his heels; when I could be。 He was standing
  on the stile one day giving directions to have a drove of hogs meet
  him at a certain place on Sunday。 I said: 〃Pa; you will lose on those
  hogs。 You ought not to do that on Sunday。〃 He gave me a quick;
  light; playful slap; saying: 〃Stop that; every time you say that; I do
  lose。〃
  I can see that a responsibility to God was the fundamental principle
  in my father's life。 After the negroes were freed; and we lived on
  the farm; there was so much to do; especially for him; but there was
  always a conveyance prepared to take his family to church and Sunday
  SchoolI took the 〃New York Ledger。 Mrs。 Southworth wrote for it
  then。 'Capitola'; The Wrecker's Son; with other thrilling stories; were
  so fascinating to meThe paper came late Saturday and I would rather
  read it Sunday morning than go anywhere。 One morning I took my
  paper and went to the back of the orchard; thinking to get out of the
  sound of my father's voice when he would call me to get ready for
  church。 I could just hear him but did not move。 After reading my
  paper; I returned to the house; Pa was just coming back with the rest
  of the family from church。 He looked at me with grief and anger in
  his glance and said; 〃Never mind; you ungrateful girl; you cannot say
  at the judgment Day; that your father did not provide a way for you
  to go to church。〃 I never did this again and never was free from remorse
  for this ingratitude。 I know how Dr。 Johnson felt when he was
  seen standing on a corner of the street with the sun beaming down
  upon his bare head; when asked why he did that he said; 〃My father
  had a book stand on this corner; when I was a boy once he asked me to
  stand here in his place as he was sick。 I would not; now I would expiate
  that by blistering my bare head in the sun if I could。 To this day
  I weep to think of grieving so noble a parent。
  My mother was a very handsome woman。 My father was what you
  might call good looking。 I was very anxious to look like him; used to
  try to wear off my teeth on the right side; because his were worn off。
  About two years before he died; he came to Texas to visit me。 I was
  then in the hotel business。 During the first meal he ate at the hotel;
  he looked up and seeing me waiting on the table; he got up and began
  waiting on the table himself。 I had to work very hard then and it was
  a grief to him to have no means to give me。 One morning he came into
  my room while I was dressing and said: 〃Daughter; I have not slept
  all night for thinking of you。 The last thing last night was you in the
  kitchen and the first thing this morning。 I have always hoped to have
  something to leave you; and it is such a grief to me that I can not help
  you。 Carry; it seems the Lord has been so hard on you。〃 I said:
  〃No; Pa; I thank God for all my sorrows。 They have been the best for
  me; and don't you worry about not leaving me money; for you have left
  me something far better。〃 He looked up surprised and said: 〃What is
  it?〃 I answered: 〃The memory of a father who never did a dishonorable
  act。〃 My father's eyes filled with tears; and after that he seemed to
  be happier than I had ever seen him; everything seemed to go right。
  My father was a very indulgent master to his colored servants; who
  loved him like a father。 They always called him 〃Mars George。〃 The
  negro women would threaten to get 〃Mars George〃 to whip their bad
  children; and when he whipped them; I have heard them say: 〃Served
  you right。 Did not give you a lick amiss。〃 This was proving their
  great confidence; they being willing for some one else to whip their
  children。 They were very sensitive in this matter and were not willing
  for my mother to do this。 My father would lay in a supply; while in
  Cincinnati; of boxes of boots and shoes; arid get combs; head handkerchiefs;
  and Sunday dresses; which would greatly delight his colored people。
  Happy; indeed; would the negroes have been if all their masters
  had been as my father was。
  When we moved to Mercer County from Garrard; we had a sale。
  It was customary then at such a time to have a barbecue and a great
  dinner。 The tables were set in the yard。 I remember Mr。 Jones Adams;
  a neighbor and great friend of my father; brought over a two bushel sack of
  turnip greens and a ham。 I remember seeing him shake them out of the
  bag。 At this sale for the first; and only time; I saw a negro put on a
  block and sold to the highest bidder。 I can't understand how my father
  could have allowed this。 His name was 〃Big Bill;〃 to distinguish him
  from another 〃Bill〃。 He was a widower or a batchelor and had no
  family。 There was one colored man my father valued highly; and
  wanted to take with him; but this man; Tom; had a wife; who belonged
  to a near neighbor。 After we got in the carriage to go to our new home;
  Tom followed us crying: 〃Oh; Mars George; don't take me from my
  wife。〃 My father said: 〃Go and get some one to buy you。〃 This Tom
  did; the buyer being a Mr。 Dunn。 Oh! What a sad sight! It makes the
  tears fill my eyes to write it。
  But a worse slavery is now on us。 I would rather have my son sold
  to a slave…driver than to be a victim of a saloon。 I could; in the first case;
  hope to see him in heaven; but no drunkard can inherit eternal life。 The
  people of the south said no power could take from them their slaves; but
  'tis a thing of the past。 People now say; you can't shut up saloons。 But
  our children will know them as a thing of the past。 My father was glad
  when the slaves were free。 He felt the responsibility of owning them。
  Have heard him say; after having some…trouble with them: 〃Those
  negroes will send me to hell yet。〃 He would gather them in the dining…
  room Sunday evenings and read the Bible to them and have prayer。 He
  would first call aunt Liza and ask her to have them come in。 The negroes
  would sing; and it is a sweet memory to me。
  {illust。 caption =
  THIS IS A PICTURE OF MYSELF AND SISTER EDNA; SITTING ON EACH SIDE OF OUR
  MOTHER。I AM ON THE LEFT AND WAS ABOUT SIX YEARS OLD。}
  CHAPTER II。
  MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE NEGROES AS SLAVES。THEIR SUPERSTITIONS。
  A BEAUTIFUL FAIRY TALE。
  The colored race; as I knew them; were generally kind to the white
  children of their masters。 Their sympathy was great in childish troubles。
  They were our nurses around our sick beds。 Their lullabyes soothed us
  to sleep。 Very frequently my nurse would hold me in her arms until
  both of us would fall asleep; but she would still hold me secure。 When
  any of my misdoings came to the ears of my parents; and I was punished
  their testimony would; as far as possible; shield me; and not until I would
  try their patience out of all bounds would they tell my mother on me。 I
  never heard an infidel negro express his views; even if very wicked。
  They had firm belief in God and a devil。 I always liked their meetings;
  their songs and shoutings。 They always told me that no one could help
  shouting。 The first time I ever heard a white woman shout was in Northern
  Texas; during the war。 I did not wish the spirit to cause me to
  jump up and clap my hands that way; for these impulses were not in my
  carnal heart; so; for fear I should be compelled to do so; I held my dress
  down tight to the seat on each side; to prevent such action。 The negroes
  are great readers of character; despise stingy people or those who were
  afraid of them。 These colored friends taught me the fear of God。 The
  first time I ever attended church; I rode behind on horseback; and
  sat with them in the gallery。 I imbibed some of their superstitions。
  They consider it bad to allow a sharp tool; as a spade; hoe or ax; to be
  taken through the house; to throw salt in the fire; for you would have to
  pick it out after death。 They would kill a hen if she crowed; looked for
  a death; if a dog howled; or; if one broke a looking…glass; it meant
  trouble of some kind for seven years。 They believed that persons had
  power to put a 〃spell〃 on others; would; if taken sick; frequently speak of
  having 〃stepped on something〃 put in their way or buried in their dooryard。
  There is no dialect in the world that has the original characteristics so
  pleasing to the ear as the negro。 There is a softness and music in the
  voice of a negro not to be found in any other race on earth。 No one can
  sing a child to sleep so soothingly as a negro nurse。 After I left Texas
  and went to Medicine Lodge; Kansas; when I had a headache or was
  otherwise sick; I would wish for the attendance around my bed of one of
  the old…fashioned colored women; who would rub me with their rough
  plump hands and call me 〃Honey Chile;〃 would bathe