第 47 节
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南方网 更新:2021-02-19 00:20 字数:9322
had helped her in many ways; and she still felt an
interest in her welfare。 It appeared now to be assured。
Antonia found her camping in a little grove of mulberry trees。
She had recovered her health; her children were noisy and
happy; and her husband; a tall; athletic man; with a
determined eye and very courteous manners; was unharnessing
the mules from a fine Mexican wagon; part of the lawful spoils
of war。 They; too; were going home: 〃back to the Brazos;〃
said the woman affectionately; and we're in a considerable
hurry;〃 she added; because it's about time to get the corn in。
Jake lays out to plant fifty acres this year。 He says he can
go to planting now with an easy conscience; he 'lows he has
killed enough Mexicans to keep him quiet a spell。〃
They talked a short time together; and then Antonia walked
slowly into the deeper shadows of the wood。 She found a wide
rock; under trees softly dimpling; pendulous; and tenderly
green; and she sat down in the sweet gloom; to think of the
beloved dead。 She had often longed for some quiet spot;
where; alone with God and nature; she could; just for once;
give to her sorrow and her love a free expression。
Now the opportunity seemed to be hers。 She began to recall
her whole acquaintance with Daretheir hours of pleasant
studytheir sails upon the rivertheir intercourse by the
firesidethe most happy Sundays; when they walked in the
house of God together。 In those days; what a blessed future
was before them! She recalled also the time of hope and
anxiety after the storming of the Alamo; and then the last
heroic act of his stainless life。 She had felt sure that in
such a session with her own soul she would find the relief of
unrestrained and unchecked weeping。 But we cannot kindle when
we will either the fire or the sensibility of the soul。 She
could not weep; tears were far from her。 Nay; more; she began
to feel as if tears were not needed for one who had found out
so beautiful; so unselfish; so divine a road to the grave。
Ought she not rather to rejoice that he had been so early
called and blest? To be glad for herself; too; that all her
life long she could keep the exquisite memory of a love so
noble?
In the drift of such thoughts; her white; handsome face
grew almost angelic。 She sat motionless and let them come to
her; as if she were listening to the comforting angels。
For God has many ways of saying to the troubled soul: 〃Be at
peace〃; and; certainly; Antonia had not anticipated the
calmness and resignation which forbid her the tears she had
bespoken。
At length; in that sweet melancholy which such a mental
condition induces; she rose to return to the camp。 A few
yards nearer to it she saw Lopez sitting in a reverie as
profound as her own had been。 He stood up to meet her。 The
patience; the pathos; the exaltation in her face touched his
heart as no words could have done。 He said; only: 〃Senorita;
if I knew how to comfort you!〃
〃I went away to think of the dead; Senor。〃
〃I comprehendbut then; I wonder if the dead remember the
living!〃
〃In whatever dwelling…place of eternity the dear ones who died
at Goliad are; I am sure that they remember。 Will the
emancipated soul be less faithful than the souls still
earthbound? Good souls could not even wish to forgetand
they were good。〃
〃It will never be permitted me to know two souls more pure;
more faithful; more brave; Juan was as a brother to me;
and; BY MY SANTIGUADA!'6' I count it among God's blessings
to have known a man like Senor Grant。 A white soul he had
indeed; full of great nobilities!〃
'6' Sign of the Cross。
Antonia looked at him gratefully。 Tears uncalled…for sprang
into the eyes of both; they clasped hands and walked mutely
back to the camp together。 For the sentiment which attends
the realization that all is over; is gathered silently into
the heart; it is too deep for words。
They found the camp already in that flurry of excitement
always attendant upon its rest and rising; and the Senora was
impatiently inquiring for her eldest daughter。
〃GRACIOUS MARIA! Is that you; Antonia? At this hour we
are all your servants; I think。 I; at least; have been
waiting upon your pleasure〃; then perceiving the traces of
sorrow and emotion on her face; she added; with an
unreasonable querulousness: 〃I bless God when I see how He
has provided for women; giving them tears; when they have no
other employment for their time。〃
〃Dearest mother; I am sorry to have kept you waiting。 I hope
that you have forgotten nothing。 Where is your mantilla? And
have you replenished your cigarito case? Is there water in
the wagon?〃
〃Nothing has been provided。 Things most necessary are
forgotten; no doubt。 When you neglect such matters; what less
could happen?〃
But such little breezes of temper were soon over。 The
influences surrounding; the prospects in advance; were too
exhilarating to permit of anything but passing shadows; and
after an easy; delightful journey; they reached at length the
charming vicinity of the romantic city of the sword。 They had
but another five miles ride; and it was the Senora's pleasure
to take it at the hour of midnight。 She did not wish her
return to be observed and talked about; she was in reality
very much mortified by the condition of her own and her
daughters' wardrobe。
Consequently; though they made their noon camp so near to
their journey's end; they rested there until San Antonio was
asleep and dreaming。 It was the happiest rest of all the
delightful ones they had known。 The knowledge that it
was the last stage of a journey so remarkable; made every one
attach a certain tender value to the hours never to come back
to the experiences never to be repeated。
The Senora was gay as a child; Isabel shared and accentuated
her enthusiasms; Luis was expressing his happiness in a
variety of songs; now glorifying his love in some pretty
romance or serenade; again musically assuring liberty; or
Texas; that he would be delighted at any moment to lay down
his life for their sakes。 Antonia was quite as much excited
in her own way; which was naturally a much quieter way; and
Lopez sat under a great pecan…tree; smoking his cigarito with
placid smiles and admiring glances at every one。
As the sun set; the full moon rose as it rises nowhere but
over Texan or Asian plains; golden; glorious; seeming to fill
the whole heaven and the whole earth with an unspeakable
radiance; softly glowing; exquisitely; magically beautifying。
The commonest thing under it was transfigured into something
lovely; fantastic; fairylike。 And the dullest souls swelled
and rose like the tides under its influence。
Antonia took from their stores the best they had; and a
luxurious supper was spread upon the grass。 The meal might
have been one of ten courses; it occupied so long; it provoked
so much mirth; such a rippling stream of reminiscence;
finally; such a sweetly solemn retrospect of the sorrows and
mercies and triumphs of the campaign they had shared together。
This latter feeling soon dominated all others。
The delicious light; the sensuous atmosphere; the white
turrets and towers of the city; shining on the horizon like
some mystical; heavenly city in dreamsthe murmur of its far…
off life; more audible to the spiritual than the natural
earsthe dark figures of the camp servants; lying in groups
or quietly shuffling their cards; were all elements conducive
to a grave yet happy seriousness。
No one intended to sleep。 They were to rest in the moonlight
until the hour of eleven; and then make their last stage。
This night they instinctively kept close together。 The Senora
had mentally reached that point where it was not unpleasant to
talk over troubles; and to amplify especially her own share of
them。
〃But; Holy Maria!〃 she said; 〃how unnecessary are such
sorrows! I am never; in the least; any better for them。 When
the Divine Majesty condescends to give me the sunshine of
prosperity; I am always exceedingly religious。 On the
contrary when I am in sorrow; I do not feel inclined to pray。
That is precisely natural。 Can the blessed Mother expect
thanks; when she gives her children only suffering and tears?〃
〃God gives us whatever is best for us; dear mother。〃
〃Speak; when you have learned wisdom; Antonia。 I shall always
believe that trouble comes from the devil; indeed; Fray
Ignatius once told me of a holy man that had one grief upon
the heels of the other; and it was the devil who was sent with
all of them。 I have myself no doubt that he opened the gates
of hell for Santa Anna to return to earth and do a little work
for him。〃
〃This thought makes me tremble;〃 said Lopez; 〃souls that have
become angelic; can become evil。 The degraded seraphim; whom
we call the devil; was once the companion of archangels; and
stood with Michael; and Raphael; and Gabriel; in the presence
of the Holy One。 Is there sin in heaven? Can we be
tempted even there?〃
The inquiry went in different ways to each heart; but no one
answered it。 There were even a few moments of constrained;
conscious silence; which Luis happily ended; by chanting
softly a vers