第 18 节
作者:南方网      更新:2021-02-19 00:20      字数:9322
  there was no one to give her any certain information。  Still;
  she guessed something from the anger of the priest and the
  reticence of the Mexican servants。  If good fortune had been
  with Santa Anna; she was sure she would have heard of 〃The
  glorious!  The invincible!  The magnificent Presidente de la
  Republica Mexicana!  The Napoleon of the West!〃
  It was not permitted her to go into the city。  A proposal to
  do so had been met with a storm of angry amazement。  And steam
  and electricity had not then annihilated distance and
  abolished suspense。  She could but wonder and hope; and try to
  read the truth from a covert inspection of the face and
  words of Fray Ignatius。
  Between this monk and herself the breach was hourly widening。
  With angry pain she saw her mother tortured between the fact
  that she loved her husband; and the horrible doubt that to
  love him was a mortal sin。  She understood the underlying
  motive which prompted the priest to urge upon the Senora the
  removal of herself and her daughters to the convent。  His
  offer to take charge of the Worth residencia and estate was in
  her conviction a proposal to rob them of all rights in it。
  She felt certain that whatever the Church once grasped in its
  iron hand; it would ever retain。  And both to Isabel and
  herself the thought of a convent was now horrible。  〃They will
  force me to be a nun;〃 said Isabel; 〃and then; what will Luis
  do?  And they will never tell me anything about my father and
  my brothers。  I should never hear of them。  I should never see
  them any more; unless the good God was so kind as to let me
  meet them in his heaven。〃
  And Antonia had still darker and more fearful thoughts。  She
  had not forgotten the stories whispered to her childhood; of
  dreadful fates reserved for contumacious and disobedient
  women。  Whenever Fray Ignatius looked at her she felt as if
  she were within the shadow of the Inquisition。
  Never had days passed so wearily and anxiously。  Never had
  nights been so terrible。  The sisters did not dare to talk
  much together; they doubted Rachela; they were sure their
  words were listened to and repeated。  They were not permitted
  to be alone with the Senora。  Fray Ignatius had particularly
  warned Rachela to prevent this。  He was gradually bringing the
  unhappy woman into what he called 〃a heavenly mind〃the
  influence of her daughters; he was sure; would be that of
  worldly affections and sinful liberty。  And Rachela obeyed the
  confessor so faithfully; that the Senora was almost in a state
  of solitary confinement。  Every day her will was growing
  weaker; her pathetic obedience more childlike and absolute。
  But at midnight; when every one was asleep; Antonia stepped
  softly into her sister's room and talked to her。  They sat in
  Isabel's bed clasping each other's hand in the dark; and
  speaking in whispers。  Then Antonia warned and
  strengthened Isabel。  She told her all her fears。  She
  persuaded her to control her wilfulness; to be obedient; and
  to assume the childlike thoughtlessness which best satisfied
  Fray Ignatius。  〃He told you to…day to be happy; that he would
  think for you。  My darling; let him believe that is the thing
  you want;〃 said Antonia。  〃I assure you we shall be the safer
  for it。〃
  〃He said to me yesterday; when I asked him about the war; ‘Do
  not inquire; child; into things you do not understand。  That
  is to be irreligious;' and then he made the cross on his
  breast; as if I had put a bad thought into his heart。  We are
  afraid all day; and we sit whispering all night about our
  fears; that is the state we are in。  The Lord sends us nothing
  but misfortunes; Antonia。〃
  〃My darling; tell the Lord your sorrow; then; but do not
  repine to Rachela or Fray Ignatius。  That is to complain to
  the merciless of the All…Merciful。〃
  〃Do you think I am wicked; Antonia?  What excuse could I offer
  to His Divine Majesty; if I spoke evil to him of Rachela and
  Fray Ignatius?〃
  〃Neither of them are our friends; do you think so?〃
  〃Fray Ignatius looks like a goblin; he gives me a shiver when
  he looks at me; and as for RachelaI already hate her!〃
  〃Do not trust her。  You need not hate her; Isabel。〃
  〃Antonia; I know that I shall eternally hate her; for I am
  sure that our angels are at variance。〃
  In conversations like these the anxious girls passed the long;
  and often very cold; nights。  The days were still worse; for
  as November went slowly away the circumstances which
  surrounded their lives appeared to constantly gather a more
  decided and a bitterer tone。  December; that had always been
  such a month of happiness; bright with Christmas expectations
  and Christmas joys; came in with a terribly severe; wet
  norther。  The great log fires only warmed the atmosphere
  immediately surrounding them; and Isabel and Antonia sat
  gloomily within it all day。  It seemed to Antonia as if her
  heart had come to the very end of hope; and that something
  must happen。
  The rain lashed the earth; the wind roared around the house;
  and filled it with unusual noises。  The cold was a torture
  that few found themselves able to endure。  But it brought a
  compensation。  Fray Ignatius did not leave the Mission
  comforts; and Rachela could not bear to go prowling about the
  corridors and passages。  She established herself in the
  Senora's room; and remained there。  And very early in the
  evening she said 〃she had an outrageous headache;〃 and went to
  her room。
  Then Antonia and Isabel sat awhile by their mother's bed。
  They talked in whispers of their father and brothers; and when
  the Senora cried; they kissed her sobs into silence and wiped
  her tears away。  In that hour; if Fray Ignatius had known it;
  they undid; in a great measure; the work to which he had given
  more than a month of patient and deeply…reflective labor。  For
  with the girls; there was the wondrous charm of love and
  nature; but with the priest; only a splendid ideal of a Church
  universal that was to swallow up all the claims of love and
  all the ties of nature。
  It was nearly nine o'clock when Antonia and Isabel returned to
  the parlor fire。  Their hearts were full of sorrow for
  their mother; and of fears for their own future。  For this
  confidence had shown them how firmly the refuge of the convent
  had been planted in the anxious ideas of the Senora。
  Fortunately; the cold had driven the servants either to the
  kitchen fire or to their beds; and they could talk over the
  subject without fear of interference。
  〃Are you sleepy; queridita?〃(little dear)。
  〃I think I shall never go to sleep again; Antonia。  If I shut
  my eyes I shall find myself in the convent; and I do not want
  to go there even in a dream。  Do you know Mother Teresa?  Well
  then; I could tell you things。  And she does not like me; I am
  sure of that; quite sure。〃
  〃My darling; I am going to make us a cup of tea。  It will do
  us good。〃
  〃If indeed it were chocolate!〃
  〃I cannot make chocolate now; but you shall have a great deal
  of sugar in your cup; and something good to eat also。  There;
  my darling; put your chair close to the fire; and we will sit
  here until we are quite sleepy。〃
  With the words she went into the kitchen。  Molly was nodding
  over her beads; in the comfortable radius made by the
  blazing logs; no one else was present but a young peon。  He
  brought a small kettle to the parlor fire; and lifted a table
  to the hearth; and then replenished the pile of logs for
  burning during the night。  Isabel; cuddling in a large chair;
  watched Antonia; as she went softly about putting on the table
  such delicacies as she could find at that hour。  Tamales and
  cold duck; sweet cake and the guava jelly that was Isabel's
  favorite dainty。  There was a little comfort in the sight of
  these things; and also; in the bright silver teapot standing
  so cheerfully on the hearth; and diffusing through the room a
  warm perfume; at once soothing and exhilarating。
  〃I really think I shall like that American tea to…night;
  Antonia; but you must half fill my cup with those little
  blocks of sugarquite half fill it; Antonia; and have you
  found cream; my dear one?  Then a great deal of cream。〃
  Antonia stood still a moment and looked at the drowsy little
  beauty。  Her eyes were closed; and her head nestled
  comfortably in a corner of the padded chair。  Then a hand upon
  the door…handle arrested her attention; and Antonia turned her
  eyes from Isabel and watched it。  Ortiz; the peon; put
  his head within the room; and then disappeared; but oh; wonder
  and joy!  Don Luis entered swiftly after him; and before any
  one could say a word; he was kneeling by Isabel kissing her
  hand and mingling his exclamations of rapture with hers。
  Antonia looked with amazement and delight at this apparition。
  How had he come?  She put her hand upon his sleeve; it was
  scarcely wet。  His dress was splendid; if he had been going to
  a tertullia of the highest class; he could not have been more
  richly adorned。  And the storm was yet raging!  It was a
  miracle。
  〃Dear Luis; sit down!  Here is a chair close to Iza!  Tell her
  your secrets a few minutes; and I will go for mi madre。  O
  yes!  She will come!  You shall see; Iza!  And then; Luis; we
  shall have some supper。〃
  〃You see that