第 10 节
作者:
尘小春 更新:2021-02-18 23:45 字数:9322
the purple hills; and the shifting stories and glories of the sky; but
now; whatever she saw him try to imitate; she learned to examine。 She was
a woman; and admired sunset; etc。; for this boy's sake; and her whole
heart expanded with a new sensation that softened her manner to all the
world; and brightened her personal rays。
This charming picture of mutual affection had hitherto been admired only
by those who figured in it。
But a visitor had now arrived on purpose to inspect it; etc。; attracted
by report。
A friend had considerately informed Mrs。 Gatty; the artist's mother; and
she had instantly started from Newcastle。
This was the old lady Christie discovered on the stairs。
Her sudden appearance took her son's breath away。
No human event was less likely than that she should be there; yet there
she was。
After the first surprise and affectionate greetings; a misgiving crossed
him; 〃she must know about the writ〃it was impossible; but our minds are
so constitutedwhen we are guilty; we fear that others know what we
know。 Now Gatty was particularly anxious she should not know about this
writ; for he had incurred the debt by acting against her advice。
Last year he commenced a picture in which was Durham Cathedral; his
mother bade him stay quietly at home; and paint the cathedral and its
banks from a print; 〃as any other painter would;〃 observed she。
But this was not the lad's system; he spent five months on the spot; and
painted his picture; but he had to borrow sixty pounds to do this; the
condition of this loan was; that in six months he should either pay
eighty pounds; or finish and hand over a certain half…finished picture。
He did neither; his new subject thrust aside his old one; and he had no
money; ergo; his friend; a picture…dealer; who had found artists slippery
in money matters; followed him up sharp; as we see。
〃There is nothing the matter; I hope; mother。 What is it?〃
〃I'm tired; Charles。〃 He brought her a seat; she sat down。
〃I did not come from Newcastle; at my age; for nothing; you have formed
an improper acquaintance。〃
〃I; who? Is it Jack Adams?〃
〃Worse than any Jack Adams!〃
〃Who can that be? Jenkyns; mother; because he does the same things as
Jack; and pretends to be religious。〃
〃It is a femalea fishwife。 Oh; my son!〃
〃Christie Johnstone an improper acquaintance;〃 said he; 〃why! I was good
for nothing till I knew her; she has made me so good; mother; so steady;
so industrious; you will never have to find fault with me again。〃
〃Nonsensea woman that sells fish in the streets!〃
〃But you have not seen her。 She is beautiful; her mind is not in fish;
her mind grasps the beautiful and the goodshe is a companion for
princes! What am I that she wastes a thought or a ray of music on me?
Heaven bless her。 She reads our best authors; and never forgets a word;
and she tells me beautiful storiessometimes they make me cry; for her
voice is a music that goes straight to my heart。〃
〃A woman that does not even wear the clothes of a lady。〃
〃It is the only genuine costume in these islands not beneath a painter's
notice。〃
〃Look at me; Charles; at your mother。〃
〃Yes; mother;〃 said he; nervously。
〃You must part with her; or kill me。〃
He started from his seat and began to flutter up and down the room; poor
excitable creature。 〃Part with her!〃 cried he; 〃I shall never be a
painter if I do; what is to keep my heart warm when the sun is hid; when
the birds are silent; when difficulty looks a mountain and success a
molehill? What is an artist without love? How is he to bear up against
his disappointments from within; his mortification from without? the
great ideas he has and cannot grasp; and all the forms of ignorance that
sting him; from stupid insensibility down to clever; shallow criticism?〃
〃Come back to common sense;〃 said the old lady; coldly and grimly。
He looked uneasy。 Common sense had often been quoted against him; and
common sense had always proved right。
〃Come back to common sense。 She shall not be your mistress; and she
cannot bear your name; you must part some day; because you cannot come
together; and now is the best time。〃
〃Not be together? all our lives; all our lives; ay;〃 cried he; rising
into enthusiasm; 〃hundreds of years to come will we two be together
before men's eyesI will be an immortal painter; that the world and time
may cherish the features I have loved。 I love her; mother;〃 added he;
with a tearful tenderness that ought to have reached a woman's heart;
then flushing; trembling; and inspired; he burst out; 〃And I wish I was a
sculptor and a poet too; that Christie might live in stone and verse; as
well as colors; and all who love an art might say; 'This woman cannot
die; Charles Gatty loved her。'〃
He looked in her face; he could not believe any creature could be
insensible to his love; and persist to rob him of it。
The old woman paused; to let his eloquence evaporate。
The pause chilled him; then gently and slowly; but emphatically; she
spoke to him thus:
〃Who has kept you on her small means ever since you were ten years and
seven months old?〃
〃You should know; mother; dear mother。〃
〃Answer me; Charles。〃
〃My mother。〃
〃Who has pinched herself; in every earthly thing; to make you an immortal
painter; and; above all; a gentleman?〃
〃My mother。〃
〃Who forgave you the little faults of youth; before you could ask
pardon?〃
〃My mother! Oh; mother; I ask pardon now for all the trouble I ever gave
the best; the dearest; the tenderest of mothers。〃
〃Who will go home to Newcastle; a broken…hearted woman; with the one hope
gone that has kept her up in poverty and sorrow so many weary years; if
this goes on?〃
〃Nobody; I hope。〃
〃Yes; Charles; your mother。〃
〃Oh; mother; you have been always my best friend。〃
〃And am this day。〃
〃Do not be my worst enemy now。 It is for me to obey you; but it is for
you to think well before you drive me to despair。〃
And the poor womanish heart leaned his head on the table; and began to
sorrow over his hard fate。
Mrs。 Gatty soothed him。 〃It need not be done all in a moment。 It must be
done kindly; but firmly。 I will give you as much time as you like。〃
This bait took; the weak love to temporize。
It is doubtful whether he honestly intended to part with Christie
Johnstone; but to pacify his mother he promised to begin and gradually
untie the knot。
〃My mother will go;〃 whispered his deceitful heart; 〃and; when she is
away; perhaps I shall find out that in spite of every effort I cannot
resign my treasure。〃
He gave a sort of half…promise for the sake of peace。
His mother instantly sent to the inn for her boxes。
〃There is a room in this same house;〃 said she; 〃I will take it; I will
not hurry you; but until it is done; I stay here; if it is a twelvemonth
about。〃
He turned pale。
〃And now hear the good news I have brought you from Newcastle。〃
Oh! these little iron wills; how is a great artist to fight three hundred
and sixty…five days against such an antagonist?
Every day saw a repetition of these dialogues; in which genius made
gallant bursts into the air; and strong; hard sense caught him on his
descent; and dabbed glue on his gauzy wings。
Old age and youth see life so differently。 To youth; it is a story…book;
in which we are to command the incidents; and be the bright exceptions to
one rule after another。
To age it is an almanac; in which everything will happen just as it has
happened so many times。
To youth; it is a path through a sunny meadow。
To age; a hard turnpike:
Whose travelers must be all sweat and dust; when they are not in mud and
drenched:
Which wants mending in many places; and is mended with sharp stones。
Gatty would not yield to go down to Newhaven and take a step against his
love; but he yielded so far as to remain passive; and see whether this
creature was necessary to his existence or not。 Mrs。 G。 scouted the idea。
〃He was to work; and he would soon forget her。〃 Poor boy! he wanted to
work; his debt weighed on him; a week's resolute labor might finish his
first picture and satisfy his creditor。 The subject was an interior。 He
set to work; he stuck to work; he glued to work; his bodybut his heart?
Ah; my poor fellow; a much slower horse than Gatty will go by you; ridden
as you are by a leaden heart。
Tu nihil invita facies pingesve Minerva。
It would not lower a mechanical dog's efforts; but it must yours。
He was unhappy。 He heard only one side for days; that side was
recommended by his duty; filial affection; and diffidence of his own good
sense。
He was brought to see his proceedings were eccentric; and that it is
destruction to be eccentric。
He was made a little ashamed of what he had been proud of。
He was confused and perplexed; he hardly knew what to think or do; he
collapsed; and all his spirit was fast leaving him; and then he felt
inclined to lean on the first thing he could find; and nothing came to
hand but his mother。
Meantime; Christie Johnstone was also thinking of him; but her single
anxiety was to find this eighty pounds for him。
It is a Newhaven idea that the female is the natural prot