第 54 节
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〃I am sorry to say it is continuous;〃 said Osmond。
〃Maidearrsirr; nothing on airth is continuous: iverything has paroxysms and remissionsfrom a toothache t' a cancer。〃
He repeated his query in various forms; till at last a little girl squeaked out; 〃If_you_…please; sir; the throes do come about every ten minutes; for I was a looking at the clock; I carries father his dinner at twelve。〃
〃If you please; ma'am; there's half a guinea for you for not being such an' ijjit as the rest of the world; especially the Dockers。〃 And he jerked her half a sovereign。
A stupor fell on the assembly。 They awoke from it to examine the coin; and see if it was real; or only yellow air。
Maxley came to and gave a sigh of relief。 When he had been insensible; yet out of pain; nearly eight minutes by the clock; Sampson chloroformed him again。 〃I'll puzzle ye; my friend strych;〃 said he。 〃How will ye get your perriodical paroxysms when the man is insensible? The Dox say y' act direct on the spinal marrow。 Well; there's the spinal marrow where you found it just now。 Act on it again; my lad! I give ye leaveif ye can。 Ye can't; bekase ye must pass through the Brain to get there: and I occupy the Brain with a swifter ajint than y' are; and mean to keep y' out of it till your power to kill evaporates; being a vigitable。〃
With this his spirits mounted; and he indulged in a harmless and favourite fiction: he feigned the company were all males and medical students; Osmond included; and he the lecturer。 〃Now; jintlemen;〃 said he; 〃obsairve the great Therey of the Perriodeecity and Remitteney of all disease; in conjunckshin with its practice。 All diseases have paroxysms and remissions; which occur at intervals; sometimes it's a year; sometimes a day; an hour; ten minutes; but whatever th' interval; they are true to it: they keep time。 Only when the disease is retirin; the remissions become longer; the paroxysms return at a greater interval; and just the revairse when the pashint is to die。 This; jintlemen; is man's life from the womb to the grave: the throes that precede his birth are remittent like ivery thing else; but come at diminished intervals when he has really made up his mind to be born (his first mistake; sirs; but not his last); and the paroxysms of his mortal disease come at shorter intervals when he is really goon off the hooks: but still chronometrically; just as watches keep time whether they go fast or slow。 Now; jintlemen; isn't this a beautiful Therey?〃
〃Oh; mercy! Oh; good people help me! Oh; Jesus Christ have pity on me!〃 And the sufferer's body was bent like a bow; and his eyes filled with horror; and his toes pointed at his chin。
The Doctor hurled himself on the foe。 〃Come;〃 said he; 〃smell to this; lad! That's right! He is better already; jintlemen; or he couldn't howl; ye know。 Deevil a howl in um before I gave um puff chlorofm。 Ah! would ye? would ye?〃
〃Oh! oh! oh! oh! ugh!ah!〃
The Doctor got off the insensible body; and resumed his lecture calmly; like one who has disposed of some childish interruption。 〃And now to th' application of the Therey: If the poison can reduce the tin minutes' interval to five minutes; this pashint will die; and if I can get the tin minutes up t' half hour; this pashint will live。 Any way; jintlemen; we won't detain y' unreasonably: the case shall be at an end by one o'clock。〃
On hearing this considerate stipulation; up went three women's aprons to their eyes。
〃Alack! poor James Maxley! he is at his last hour: it be just gone twelve; and a dies at one。〃
Sampson turned on the weepers。 〃Who says that; y' ijjits? I said the case would end at one: a case ends when the pashint gets well or dies。〃
〃Oh; that is good news for poor Susan Maxley; her man is to be well by one o'clock; Doctor says。〃
Sampson groaned; and gave in。 he was strong; but not strong enough to make the populance suspend an opinion。
Yet; methinks it might be done: by chloroforming them。
The spasms came at longer intervals and less violent; and Maxley got so fond of the essence of Insensibility; that he asked to have some in his own hand to apply at the first warning of the horrible pains。
Sampson said; 〃Any fool can complete the cure; and; by way of practical comment; left him in Mr。 Osmond's charge; but with an understanding that the treatment should not be varied; that no laudanum should be given; but; in due course; a stiff tumbler of brandy and water; or two。 〃If he gets drunk; all the better; a little intoxication weakens the body's memory of the pain it has endured; and so expedites the cure。 Now off we go to th' other。〃
〃The body's memory!〃 said Mr。 Osmond to himself: 〃what on earth does the quack mean?〃
The driver _de jure_ of the fly was not quite drunk enough to lose his horse and vehicle without missing them。 He was on the look out for the robber; and as Alfred came round the corner full pelt; darted at the reins with a husky remonstrance; and Alfred cut into him with the whip: an angry explanationa guineaand behold the driver sitting behind complacent and nodding。
Arrived at Albion Villa; Alfred asked Sampson submissively if he might come in and see the wife cured。
〃Why; of course;〃 said Sampson; not knowing the delicate position。
〃Then ask me in before Mrs。 Dodd;〃 murmured Alfred coaxingly。
〃Oo; ay;〃 said the Doctor knowingly: 〃I see。〃
Mrs。 Maxley was in the dining…room: she had got well of herself; but was crying bitterly; and the ladies would not let her go home yet; they feared the worst and that some one would blurt it out to her。
To this anxious trio entered Sampson radiant。 〃There; it's all right。 Come; little Maxley; ye needn't cry; he has got lots more mischief to do in the world yet; but; O wumman; it is lucky you came to me and not to any of the tinkering dox。 No more cat and dog for you and him but for the Chronothairmal Therey。 And you may bless my puppy's four bones too: he ran and stole a fly like a man; and drove hilter…skilter。 Now; lf I had got to your house two minutes later; your Jamie would have lairned the great secret ere this。〃 He threw up the window。 〃Haw you! come away and receive the applause due from beauty t' ajeelity。〃
Alfred came in timidly; and was received with perfect benignity and self…possession by Mrs。 Dodd; but Julia's face was dyed with blushes; and her eyes sparkled the eloquent praise she was ashamed to speak before them all。 But such a face as her scarce needed the help of a voice at such a time。 And indeed both the lovers' faces were a pretty sight and a study。 How they stole loving glances; but tried to keep within bounds; and not steal more than three per minute! and how unconscious they endeavoured to look the intervening seconds! and what windows were the demure complacent visages they thought they were making shutters of! Innocent love has at least this advantage over melodramatic; that it can extract exquisite sweetness out of so small a thing。 These sweethearts were not alone; could not open their hearts; must not even gaze too long; yet to be in the same room even on such terms was a taste of Heaven。
〃But; dear heart!〃 said Mrs。 Maxley; 〃ye don't tell me what he ailed。 Ma'am; if you had seen him you would have said he was taken for death。〃
〃Pray what _is_ the complaint?〃 inquired Mrs。 Dodd。
〃Oh; didn't I tell ye? Poisoned。〃
This intelligence was conveyed with true scientific calmness; and received with feminine ejaculations of horror。 Mrs。 Maxley was indignant into the bargain: 〃Don't ye go giving my house an ill name! We keeps no poison。〃
Sampson fixed his eyes sternly on her: 〃Wumman; ye know better: ye keep strychnine; for th' use and delectation of your domestic animal。〃
〃Strychnine! I never heard tell of it。 Is that Latin for arsenic?〃
〃Now isn't this lamentable? Why; arsenic is a mital; strychnine a vigitable。 N'hist me! Your man was here seeking strychnine to poison his mouse; a harmless; domistic; necessary mouse。 I told him mice were a part of Nature as much as Maxleys; and life as sweet tit as tim: but he was dif to scientific and chrisehin preceps; so I told him to go to the Deevil: 'I will;' sis he; and went t' a docker。 The two assassins have poisoned the poor beastie between 'em; and thin; been the greatest miser in the world; except one; he will have roasted his victim; and ate her on the sly; imprignated with strychnine。 'I'll steal a march on t'other miser;' sis he; and that's you: t' his brain flew the strychnine: his brain sint it to his spinal marrow: and we found my lorrd bent like a bow; and his jaw locked; and nearer knowin the great secret than any man in England will be this year to live: and sairves the assassinating old vagabin right。〃
〃Heaven forgive you; Doctor;〃 said Mrs。 Maxley; half mechanically。
〃For curin a murrderer? Not likely。〃
Mrs。 Maxley; who had shown signs of singular uneasiness during Sampson's explanation; now rose; and said in a very peculiar tone she must go home directly。
Mrs。 Dodd seemed to enter into her feelings; and made her go in the fly; taking care to pay the fare and the driver out of her own purse。 As the woman got into the fly; Sampson gave her a piece of friendly and practical advice。 〃Nixt time he has a mind to breakfast on stryc