Next　day；　by　previous　invitation；　Dr。　Sampson　made　Albion　Villa　his　head…quarters。　Darting　in　from　London；　he　found　Alfred　sitting　very　close　to　Julia　over　a　book。
  〃Lordsake！〃　cried　he；　〃here's　'my　puppy；'　and　'm'　enthusiast；'　cheek　by　chowl。〃　Julia　turned　scarlet；　and　Alfred　ejaculated　so　loudly；　that　Sampson　inquired　〃what　on　airth　was　the　matter　now？〃
  〃Oh；　nothing；　only　here　have　I　been　jealous　of　my　own　shadow；　and　pestering　her　who　'your　puppy'　was：　and　she　never　would　tell　me。　All　I　could　get　from　her；〃　added　he；　turning　suddenly　from　gratitude　to　revenge；　〃was　that　he　was　no　greater　a　puppy　than　yourself；　doctor。〃
  〃Oh；　Alfred；　no；　I　only　said　no　vainer；〃　cried　Julia　in　dismay。
  〃Well；　it　is　true；〃　said　Sampson　contentedly；　and　proceeded　to　dissect　himself　just　as　he　would　a　stranger。　〃I　am　a　vain　man；　a　remarkably　vain　man。　But　then　I'm　a　man　of　great　mirit。〃
  〃All　vain　people　are　that；〃　suggested　Alfred　dryly。
  〃Who　should　know　better　than　you；　young　Oxford？　Y'　have　got　a　hidache。〃
  〃No；　indeed。〃
  〃Don't　tell　lies　now。　Ye　can't　deceive　me；　man；　I've　an　eye　like　a　hawk。　And　what's　that　ye're　studying　with　her？　Ovid；　for　a　pound。〃
  〃No；　medicine；　a　treatise　on　your　favourite　organ；　the　brain；　by　one　Dr。　Whately。〃
  〃He　is　chaffing　you；　doctor；〃　said　Edward；　〃it　is　logic。　He　is　coaching　her；　and　then　she　will　coach　me。〃
  〃Then　I　forbid　the　chaff…cutting；　young　Pidant。　Logic　is　an　ill　plaster　to　a　sore　head。〃
  〃Oh；　'the　labour　we　delight　in；　physics　pain。'〃
  〃Jinnyus；　Jinnyus；　　　　　　Take　care　o'　your　carkuss；〃
  retorted　the　master　of　doggrel。　〃And　that　is　a　profounder　remark　than　you　seem　to　think；　by　your　grinning；　all　of　ye。〃
  Julia　settled　the　question　by　putting　away　the　book。　And　she　murmured　to　Alfred；　〃I　wish　I　could　steal　your　poor　dear　headaches：　you　might　give　me　half　of　them　at　least；　you　would；　too；　if　you　really　loved　me。〃
  This　sound　remonstrance　escaped　criticism　by　being　nearly　inaudible；　and　by　Mrs。　Dodd　entering　at　the　same　moment。
  After　the　first　greeting；　Sampson　asked　her　with　merry　arrogance；　how　his　prescription　had　worked？　〃Is　her　sleep　broken　still；　ma'am？　Are　her　spirits　up　and　down？　Shall　we　have　to　go　back　t'　old　Short　and　his　black　draught？　How's　her　mookis　membrin？　And　her　biliary　ducks？　an'　she's　off　like　a　flash。〃
  〃And　no　wonder；〃　said　Mrs。　Dodd　reproachfully。
  Thus　splashed　Sampson　among　the　ducks：　one　of　them　did　not　show　her　face　again　till　dinner。
  Jane　Hardie　accompanied　her　brother　by　invitation。　The　general　amity　was　diversified　and　the　mirth　nowise　lessened　by　constant　passages　of　arms　between　Messrs。　Sampson　and　Alfred　Hardie。
  After　tea　came　the　first　_contretemps。_　Sampson　liked　a　game　of　cards：　he　could　play；　yet　talk　chronothermalism；　as　the　fair　can　knit　babies'　shoes　and　imbibe　the　poetasters　of　the　day。
  Mrs。　Dodd　had　asked　Edward　to　bring　a　fresh　pack。　He　was　seen　by　his　guardian　angel　to　take　them　out　of　his　pocket　and　undo　them；　presently　Sampson；　in　his　rapid　way；　clutched　hold　of　them；　and　found　a　slip　of　paper　curled　round　the　ace　of　spades；　with　this　written　very　clear　in　pencil；
  〃REMEMBER　THY　CREATOR　IN　THE　DAYS　OF　THY　YOUTH！〃
  〃What　is　this？〃　cried　Sampson；　and　read　it　out　aloud。　Jane　Hardie　coloured；　and　so　betrayed　herself。　Her　〃word　in　season〃　had　strayed。　It　was　the　young　and　comely　Edward　she　wished　to　save　from　the　diabolical　literature；　the　painted　perdition；　and　not　the　uninteresting　old　sinner　Sampson；　who　proceeded　to　justify　her　preference　by　remarking　that　〃Remember　not　to　trump　your　partner's　best　card；　ladies；〃　would　be　more　to　the　point。
  Everybody；　except　this　hardened　personage；　was　thoroughly　uncomfortable。　As　for　Alfred；　his　face　betrayed　a　degree　of　youthful　mortification　little　short　of　agony。　Mrs。　Dodd　was　profoundly　disgusted；　but　fortunately　for　the　Hardies；　caught　sight　of　his　burning　cheeks　and　compressed　lips。　〃Dr。　Sampson；〃　said　she；　with　cold　dignity；　〃you　will；　I　am　sure；　oblige　me　by　making　no　more　comments；　sincerity　is　not　always　discreet；　but　it　is　always　respectable：　it　is　one　of　your　own　titles　to　esteem。　I　dare　say；〃　added　she　with　great　sweetness；　〃our　resources　are　not　so　narrow　that　we　need　shock　anybody's　prejudices；　and；　as　it　happens；　I　was　just　going　to　ask　Julia　to　sing：　open　the　piano；　love；　and　try　if　you　can　persuade　Miss　Hardie　to　join　you　in　a　duet。〃
  At　this；　Jane　and　Julia　had　an　earnest　conversation　at　the　piano；　and　their　words；　uttered　in　a　low　voice；　were　covered　by　a　contemporaneous　discussion　between　Sampson　and　Mrs。　Dodd。
  _Jane。_　No；　you　must　not　ask　me：　I　have　forsworn　these　vanities。　I　have　not　opened　my　piano　this　two　years。
  _Julia。_　Oh；　what　a　pity；　music　is　so　beautiful；　and　surely　we　can　choose　our　songs；　as　easily　as　our　words；　ah；　how　much　more　easily。
  _Jane。_　Oh；　I　don't　go　so　far　as　to　call　music　wicked：　but　music　in　society　is　_such_　a　snare。　At　least　I　found　it　so；　my　playing　was　highly　praised；　and　that　stirred　up　vanity：　and　so　did　my　singing；　with　which　I　had　even　more　reason　to　be　satisfied。　Snares！　snares！
  _Julia。_　Goodness　me！　I　don't　find　them　so。　Now　you　mention　it；　gentlemen　do　praise　one；　but；　dear　me；　they　praise　every　lady；　even　when　we　have　been　singing　every　other　note　out　of　tune。　The　little　unmeaning　compliments　of　society；　can　they　catch　anything　so　great　as　a　soul？
  _Jane。_　I　pray　daily　not　to　be　led　into　temptation；　and　shall　I　go　into　it　of　my　own　accord？
  _Julia。_　Not　if　you　find　it　a　temptation。　At　that　rate　I　ought　to　decline。
  _Jane。_　That　doesn't　follow。　My　conscience　is　not　a　law　to　yours。　Besides；　your　mamma　said　〃sing：〃　and　a　parent　is　not　to　be　disobeyed　upon　a　doubt。　If　papa　were　to　insist　on　my　going　to　a　ball　even；　or　reading　a　novel；　I　think　I　should　obey；　and　lay　the　whole　case　before　Him。
  _Mrs。　Dodd_　（from　a　distance）。　Come；　my　dears；　Dr。　Sampson　is　getting　_so_　impatient　for　your　song。
  _Sampson。_　Hum！　for　all　that；　young　ladies'　singing　is　a　poor　substitute　for　cards；　and　even　for　conversation。
  _Mrs。　Dodd。_　That　depends　upon　the　singer；　I　presume。
  _Sampson。_　Mai　dearmadam；　they　all　sing　alike；　just　as　they　all　write　alike。　I　can　hardly　tell　one　fashionable　tune　from　another；　and　nobody　can　tell　one　word　from　another；　when　they　cut　out　all　the　consonants。　N'　listen　me。　This　is　what　I　heard　sung　by　a　lady　last　night。
  Eu　un　Da'　ei　u　aa　an　oo。　By　oo　eeeeyee　aa　Vaullee；　Vaullee；　Vaullee；　Vaullee；　Vaullee　om　is　igh　eeaa　An　ellin　in　is　ud。
  _Mrs。　Dodd。_　That　sounds　like　gibberish。
  _Sampson。_　It　is　gibberish；　but　it's　Drydenish　in　articulating　mouths。　It　is
  He　sung　Darius　great　and　good；　By　too　severe　a　fate　Fallen；　fallen；　fallen；　fallen；　Fallen　from　his　high　estate；　And　wiltering　in　his　blood。
  _Mrs。　Dodd。_　I　think　you　exaggerate。　I　will　answer　for　Julia　that　she　shall　speak　as　distinctly　to　music　as　you　do　in　conversation。
  _Sampson_　（all　unconscious　of　the　tap）。　Time　will　show；　madam。　At　prisent　they　seem　to　be　in　no　hurry　to　spatter　us　with　their　word…jelly。　Does　some　spark　of　pity　linger　in　their　marble　bos'ms？　or　do　they　prefer　inaud'ble　chit…chat　t'　inarticulate　mewing？
  Julia；　thus　pressed；　sang　one　of　those　songs　that　come　and　go　every　season。　She　spoke　the　words　clearly；　and　with　such　variety　and　intelligence；　that　Sampson　recanted；　and　broke　in　upon　the〃　very　pretty　〃〃how　sweet〃and　〃who　is　it　by？〃　of　the　others；　by　shouting；　〃Very　weak　trash　very　cleanly　sung。　Now　give　us　something　worth　the　wear　and　tear　of　your　orgins。　Immortal　vairse　widded　t'　immortal　sounds；　that　is　what　I　understand　b'　a　song。〃
  Alfred　whispered；　〃No；　no；　dearest；　sing　something　suitable　to　you　and　me。〃
  〃Out　of　the　question。　Then　go　farther　away；　dear；　I　shall　have　more　courage。〃
  He　obeyed；　and　she　turned　over　two　or　three　music…books；　and　finally　sung　from　memory。　She　cultivated　musical　memory；　having　observed　the　contempt　with　which　men　of　sense　visit　the　sorry　pretenders　to　music；　who　are　tuneless　and　songless　among　the　nightingales；　and　anywhere　else　away　from　their　books。　How　will　they　manage　to　sing　in　heaven？　Answer　me　that。
  The　song　Julia　Dodd　sang　on　this　happy　occasion；　to　meet　the　humble　but　heterogeneous　views　of　Messrs。　Sampson　and　Hardie；　was　a　simple　eloquent　Irish　song　called　Aileen　Aroon。　Whose　history；　by…the…bye；　was　a　curious　one。　Early　in　this　century　it　occurred　to　somebody　to　hymn　a　son　of　George　the　Third　for　his　double　merit　in　having　been　born；　and　going　to　a　ball。　People　who　thus　apply　the　fine　arts　in　modern　days　are　seldom　artists；　accordingly；　this　parasite　could　not　invent　a　melody；　so　he　coolly　stole　Aileen　Aroon；　soiled　it　by　inserting　sordid　and　incongruous　jerks　into　the　refrain；　and　called　the　stolen　and　adulterated　article　Robin　Adair。　An　artisan　of　the　same　kidney　was　soon　found　to　write　words　down　to　the　degraded　ditty：　and；　so　strong　is　Flunkeyism；　and　so　weak　is　Criticism；　in　these　islands；　that　the　polluted　tune　actually　superseded　the　clean　melody；　and　this　sort　of　thing
  Who　was　in　uniform　at　the　ball？　　　　　　Silly　Billy；
  smothered　the　immortal　lines。
  But　Mrs。　Dodd's　severe　taste　in　music　rejected　those　ignoble　jerks；　and　her　enthusiastic　daughter　having　the　option　to　hymn　immortal　Constancy　or　mortal　Fat；　decided　thus：