第 26 节
作者:冥王      更新:2021-02-18 23:11      字数:9322
  like myself; who has suffered; who knows what misery is。 I will write
  to her and console her; and be her guardian spirit; she shall read my
  heart; my soul; she shall possess by double wealth; my two wealths;
  my gold; delicately offered; and my thought robed in all the splendor
  which the accident of birth has denied to my grotesque body。 But I
  myself shall remain hidden like the cause that science seeks。 God
  himself may not be glorious to the eye。 Well; naturally; the maiden
  will be curious; she will wish to see me; but I shall tell her that I
  am a monster of ugliness; I shall picture myself hideous。〃
  At these words Modeste gave Butscha a glance that looked him through
  and through。 If she had said aloud; 〃What do you know of my love?〃 she
  could not have been more explicit。
  〃If I have the honor of being loved for the poem of my heart; if some
  day such love may make a woman think me only slightly deformed; I ask
  you; mademoiselle; shall I not be happier than the handsomest of men;
  as happy as a man of genius beloved by some celestial being like
  yourself。〃
  The color which suffused the young girl's face told the cripple nearly
  all he sought to know。
  〃Well; if that be so;〃 he went on; 〃if we enrich the one we love; if
  we please the spirit and withdraw the body; is not that the way to
  make one's self beloved? At any rate it is the dream of your poor
  dwarf;a dream of yesterday; for to…day your mother gives me the key
  to future wealth by promising me the means of buying a practice。 But
  before I become another Gobenheim; I seek to know whether this dream
  could be really carried out。 What do you say; mademoiselle; YOU?〃
  Modeste was so astonished that she did not notice the question。 The
  trap of the lover was much better baited than that of the soldier; for
  the poor girl was rendered speechless。
  〃Poor Butscha!〃 whispered Madame Latournelle to her husband。 〃Do you
  think he is going mad?〃
  〃You want to realize the story of Beauty and the Beast;〃 said Modeste
  at length; 〃but you forget that the Beast turned into Prince
  Charming。〃
  〃Do you think so?〃 said the dwarf。 〃Now I have always thought that
  that transformation meant the phenomenon of the soul made visible;
  obliterating the form under the light of the spirit。 If I were not
  loved I should stay hidden; that is all。 You and yours; madame;〃 he
  continued; addressing his mistress; 〃instead of having a dwarf at your
  service; will now have a life and a fortune。〃
  So saying; Butscha resumed his seat; remarking to the three whist…
  players with an assumption of calmness; 〃Whose deal is it?〃 but within
  his soul he whispered sadly to himself: 〃She wants to be loved for
  herself; she corresponds with some pretended great man; how far has it
  gone?〃
  〃Dear mamma; it is nearly ten o'clock;〃 said Modeste。
  Madame Mignon said good…night to her friends; and went to bed。
  They who wish to love in secret may have Pyrenean hounds; mothers;
  Dumays; and Latournelles to spy upon them; and yet not be in any
  danger; but when it comes to a lover!ah! that is diamond cut
  diamond; flame against flame; mind to mind; an equation whose terms
  are mutual。
  On Sunday morning Butscha arrived at the Chalet before Madame
  Latournelle; who always came to take Modeste to church; and he
  proceeded to blockade the house in expectation of the postman。
  〃Have you a letter for Mademoiselle Mignon?〃 he said to that humble
  functionary when he appeared。
  〃No; monsieur; none。〃
  〃This house has been a good customer to the post of late;〃 remarked
  the clerk。
  〃You may well say that;〃 replied the man。
  Modeste both heard and saw the little colloquy from her chamber
  window; where she always posted herself behind the blinds at this
  particular hour to watch for the postman。 She ran downstairs; went
  into the little garden; and called in an imperative voice:
  〃Monsieur Butscha!〃
  〃Here am I; mademoiselle;〃 said the cripple; reaching the gate as
  Modeste herself opened it。
  〃Will you be good enough to tell me whether among your various titles
  to a woman's affection you count that of the shameless spying in which
  you are now engaged?〃 demanded the girl; endeavoring to crush her
  slave with the glance and gesture of a queen。
  〃Yes; mademoiselle;〃 he answered proudly。 〃Ah! I never expected;〃 he
  continued in a low tone; 〃that the grub could be of service to a star;
  but so it is。 Would you rather that your mother and Monsieur Dumay
  and Madame Latournelle had guessed your secret than one; excluded as
  it were from life; who seeks to be to you one of those flowers that
  you cut and wear for a moment? They all know you love; but I; I alone;
  KNOW HOW。 Use me as you would a vigilant watch…dog; I will obey you;
  protect you; and never bark; neither will I condemn you。 I ask only to
  be of service to you。 Your father has made Dumay keeper of the hen…
  roost; take Butscha to watch outside;poor Butscha; who doesn't ask
  for anything; not so much as a bone。〃
  〃Well; I've give you a trial;〃 said Modeste; whose strongest desire
  was to get rid of so clever a watcher。 〃Please go at once to all the
  hotels in Graville and in Havre; and ask if a gentleman has arrived
  from England named Monsieur Arthur〃
  〃Listen to me; mademoiselle;〃 said Butscha; interrupting Modeste
  respectfully。 〃I will go and take a walk on the seashore; for you
  don't want me to go to church to…day; that's what it is。〃
  Modeste looked at her dwarf with a perfectly stupid astonishment。
  〃Mademoiselle; you have wrapped your face in cotton…wool and a silk
  handkerchief; but there's nothing the matter with you; and you have
  put that thick veil on your bonnet to see some one yourself without
  being seen。〃
  〃Where did you acquire all that perspicacity?〃 cried Modeste;
  blushing。
  〃Moreover; mademoiselle; you have not put on your corset; a cold in
  the head wouldn't oblige you to disfigure your waist and wear half a
  dozen petticoats; nor hide your hands in these old gloves; and your
  pretty feet in those hideous shoes; nor dress yourself like a beggar…
  woman; nor〃
  〃That's enough;〃 she said。 〃How am I to be certain that you will obey
  me?〃
  〃My master is obliged to go to Sainte…Adresse。 He does not like it;
  but he is so truly good he won't deprive me of my Sunday; I will offer
  to go for him。〃
  〃Go; and I will trust you。〃
  〃You are sure I can do nothing for you in Havre?〃
  〃Nothing。 Hear me; mysterious dwarf;look;〃 she continued; pointing
  to the cloudless sky; 〃can you see a single trace of that bird that
  flew by just now? No; well then; my actions are pure as the air is
  pure; and leave no stain behind them。 You may reassure Dumay and the
  Latournelles; and my mother。 That hand;〃 she said; holding up a pretty
  delicate hand; with the points of the rosy fingers; through which the
  light shone; slightly turning back; 〃will never be given; it will
  never even be kissed by what people call a lover until my father has
  returned。〃
  〃Why don't you want me in the church to…day?〃
  〃Do you venture to question me after all I have done you the honor to
  say; and to ask of you?〃
  Butscha bowed without another word; and departed to find his master;
  in all the rapture of being taken into the service of his goddess。
  Half an hour later; Monsieur and Madame Latournelle came to fetch
  Modeste; who complained of a horrible toothache。
  〃I really have not had the courage to dress myself;〃 she said。
  〃Well then;〃 replied the worthy chaperone; 〃stay at home。〃
  〃Oh; no!〃 said Modeste。 〃I would rather not。 I have bundled myself up;
  and I don't think it will do me any harm to go out。〃
  And Mademoiselle Mignon marched off beside Latournelle; refusing to
  take his arm lest she should be questioned about the outward trembling
  which betrayed her inward agitation at the thought of at last seeing
  her great poet。 One look; the first;was it not about to decide her
  fate?
  CHAPTER XIII
  A FULL…LENGTH PORTRAIT OF MONSIEUR DE LA BRIERE
  Is there in the life of man a more delightful moment than that of a
  first rendezvous? Are the sensations then hidden at the bottom of our
  hearts and finding their first expression ever renewed? Can we feel
  again the nameless pleasures that we felt when; like Ernest de La
  Briere; we looked up our sharpest razors; our finest shirt; an
  irreproachable collar; and our best clothes? We deify the garments
  associated with that all…supreme moment。 We weave within us poetic
  fancies quite equal to those of the woman; and the day when either
  party guesses them they take wings to themselves and fly away。 Are not
  such things like the flower of wild fruits; bitter…sweet; grown in the
  heart of a forest; the joy of the scant sun…rays; the joy; as Canalis
  says in the 〃Maiden's Song;〃 of the plant itself whose eyes unclosing
  see its own image within its breast?
  Such emotions; now