第 83 节
作者:圈圈      更新:2021-02-18 22:40      字数:9322
  save me from eternal perdition but punishing my guilt with the
  utmost severity。  The Superior's word is an oracle to but too
  many of a Convent's Inhabitants。  The Nuns believed whatever the
  Prioress chose to assert:  Though contradicted by reason and
  charity; they hesitated not to admit the truth of her arguments。
  They followed her injunctions to the very letter; and were fully
  persuaded that to treat me with lenity; or to show the least
  pity for my woes; would be a direct means to destroy my chance
  for salvation。
  Camilla; being most employed about me; was particularly charged
  by the Prioress to treat me with harshness。 In compliance with
  these orders; She frequently strove to convince me; how just was
  my punishment; and how enormous was my crime:  She bad me think
  myself too happy in saving my soul by mortifying my body; and
  even threatened me sometimes with eternal perdition。  Yet as I
  before observed; She always concluded by words of encouragement
  and comfort; and though uttered by Camilla's lips; I easily
  recognised the Domina's expressions。  Once; and once only; the
  Prioress visited me in my dungeon。  She then treated me with the
  most unrelenting cruelty:  She loaded me with reproaches; taunted
  me with my frailty; and when I implored her mercy; told me to ask
  it of heaven; since I deserved none on earth。  She even gazed
  upon my lifeless Infant without emotion; and when She left me; I
  heard her charge Camilla to increase the hardships of my
  Captivity。  Unfeeling Woman!  But let me check my resentment:
  She has expiated her errors by her sad and unexpected death。
  Peace be with her; and may her crimes be forgiven in heaven; as I
  forgive her my sufferings on earth!
  Thus did I drag on a miserable existence。  Far from growing
  familiar with my prison; I beheld it every moment with new
  horror。  The cold seemed more piercing and bitter; the air more
  thick and pestilential。  My frame became weak; feverish; and
  emaciated。  I was unable to rise from the bed of Straw; and
  exercise my limbs in the narrow limits; to which the length of my
  chain permitted me to move。  Though exhausted; faint; and weary;
  I trembled to profit by the approach of Sleep:  My slumbers were
  constantly interrupted by some obnoxious Insect crawling over me。
  Sometimes I felt the bloated Toad; hideous and pampered with the
  poisonous vapours of the dungeon; dragging his loathsome length
  along my bosom:  Sometimes the quick cold Lizard rouzed me
  leaving his slimy track upon my face; and entangling itself in
  the tresses of my wild and matted hair:  Often have I at waking
  found my fingers ringed with the long worms which bred in the
  corrupted flesh of my Infant。  At such times I shrieked with
  terror and disgust; and while I shook off the reptile; trembled
  with all a Woman's weakness。
  Such was my situation; when Camilla was suddenly taken ill。  A
  dangerous fever; supposed to be infectious; confined her to her
  bed。  Every one except the Lay…Sister appointed to nurse her;
  avoided her with caution; and feared to catch the disease。  She
  was perfectly delirious; and by no means capable of attending to
  me。  The Domina and the Nuns admitted to the mystery; had
  latterly given me over entirely to Camilla's care:  In
  consequence; they busied themselves no more about me; and
  occupied by preparing for the approaching Festival; it is more
  than probable that I never once entered into their thoughts。  Of
  the reason of Camilla's negligence; I have been informed since my
  release by the Mother St。 Ursula; At that time I was very far
  from suspecting its cause。  On the contrary; I waited for my
  Gaoler's appearance at first with impatience; and afterwards with
  despair。 One day passed away; Another followed it; The Third
  arrived。  Still no Camilla!  Still no food!  I knew the lapse of
  time by the wasting of my Lamp; to supply which fortunately a
  week's supply of Oil had been left me。  I supposed; either that
  the Nuns had forgotten me; or that the Domina had ordered them to
  let me perish。  The latter idea seemed the most probable; Yet so
  natural is the love of life; that I trembled to find it true。
  Though embittered by every species of misery; my existence was
  still dear to me; and I dreaded to lose it。  Every succeeding
  minute proved to me that I must abandon all hopes of relief。  I
  was become an absolute skeleton:  My eyes already failed me; and
  my limbs were beginning to stiffen。  I could only express my
  anguish; and the pangs of that hunger which gnawed my
  heart…strings; by frequent groans; whose melancholy sound the
  vaulted roof of the dungeon re…echoed。  I resigned myself to my
  fate:  I already expected the moment of dissolution; when my
  Guardian Angel; when my beloved Brother arrived in time to save
  me。  My sight grown dim and feeble at first refused to recognize
  him; and when I did distinguish his features; the sudden burst of
  rapture was too much for me to bear。  I was overpowered by the
  swell of joy at once more beholding a Friend; and that a Friend
  so dear to me。  Nature could not support my emotions; and took
  her refuge in insensibility。
  You already know; what are my obligations to the Family of
  Villa…Franca:  But what you cannot know is the extent of my
  gratitude; boundless as the excellence of my Benefactors。
  Lorenzo!  Raymond!  Names so dear to me!  Teach me to bear with
  fortitude this sudden transition from misery to bliss。  So lately
  a Captive; opprest with chains; perishing with hunger; suffering
  every in convenience of cold and want; hidden from the light;
  excluded from society; hopeless; neglected; and as I feared;
  forgotten; Now restored to life and liberty; enjoying all the
  comforts of affluence and ease; surrounded by those who are most
  loved by me; and on the point of becoming his Bride who has long
  been wedded to my heart; my happiness is so exquisite; so
  perfect; that scarcely can my brain sustain the weight。  One only
  wish remains ungratified:  It is to see my Brother in his former
  health; and to know that Antonia's memory is buried in her grave。
  Granted this prayer; I have nothing more to desire。  I trust;
  that my past sufferings have purchased from heaven the pardon of
  my momentary weakness。 That I have offended; offended greatly and
  grievously; I am fully conscious; But let not my Husband; because
  He once conquered my virtue; doubt the propriety of my future
  conduct。  I have been frail and full of error:  But I yielded not
  to the  warmth of constitution; Raymond; affection for you
  betrayed me。  I was too confident of my strength; But I depended
  no less on your honour than my own。  I had vowed never to see you
  more:  Had it not been for the consequences of that unguarded
  moment; my resolution had been kept。  Fate willed it otherwise;
  and I cannot but rejoice at its decree。  Still my conduct has
  been highly blameable; and while I attempt to justify myself; I
  blush at recollecting my imprudence。  Let me then dismiss the
  ungrateful subject; First assuring you; Raymond; that you shall
  have no cause to repent our union; and that the more culpable
  have been the errors of your Mistress; the more exemplary shall
  be the conduct of your Wife。
  Here Agnes ceased; and the Marquis replied to her address in
  terms equally sincere and affectionate。 Lorenzo expressed his
  satisfaction at the prospect of being so closely connected with a
  Man for whom He had ever entertained the highest esteem。  The
  Pope's Bull had fully and effectually released Agnes from her
  religious engagements:  The marriage was therefore celebrated as
  soon as the needful preparations had been made; for the Marquis
  wished to have the ceremony performed with all possible splendour
  and publicity。  This being over; and the Bride having received
  the compliments of Madrid; She departed with Don Raymond for his
  Castle in Andalusia:  Lorenzo accompanied them; as did also the
  Marchioness de Villa…Franca and her lovely Daughter。  It is
  needless to say that Theodore was of the party; and would be
  impossible to describe his joy at his Master's marriage。
  Previous to his departure; the Marquis; to atone in some measure
  for his past neglect; made some enquiries relative to Elvira。
  Finding that She as well as her Daughter had received many
  services from Leonella and Jacintha; He showed his respect to the
  memory of his Sister…in…law by making the two Women handsome
  presents。  Lorenzo followed his exampleLeonella was highly
  flattered by the attentions of Noblemen so distinguished; and
  Jacintha blessed the hour on which her House was bewitched。
  On her side; Agnes failed not to reward her Convent Friends。
  The worthy Mother St。 Ursula; to whom She owed her liberty; was
  named at her request Superintendent of 'The Ladies of Charity:'
  This was one of the best and most opulent Societies throughout
  Spain。  Bertha and Cornelia not choosing to quit their Friend;
  were appointed to principal charges in the same establishment。
  As to the Nuns who had aided the Domina in persecuting Agnes;
  Camilla being confined by illness to her bed; had perished in the
  flames which consumed St。 Clare's Convent。  Mariana; Alix; and
  Violante; as well as two more; had fallen victims to the popular
  rage