第 81 节
作者:圈圈      更新:2021-02-18 22:40      字数:9322
  threw myself upon the ground; and rolled upon it wild and
  desperate:  Sometimes starting up; I returned to the door; again
  strove to force it open; and repeated my fruitless cries for
  succour。 Often was I on the point of striking my temple against
  the sharp corner of some Monument; dashing out my brains; and
  thus terminating my woes at once; But still the remembrance of my
  Baby vanquished my resolution: I trembled at a deed which
  equally endangered my Child's existence and my own。  Then would I
  vent my anguish in loud exclamations and passionate complaints;
  and then again my strength failing me; silent and hopeless I
  would sit me down upon the base of St。 Clare's Statue; fold my
  arms; and abandon myself to sullen despair。  Thus passed several
  wretched hours。  Death advanced towards me with rapid strides;
  and I expected that every succeeding moment would be that of my
  dissolution。  Suddenly a neighbouring Tomb caught my eye:  A
  Basket stood upon it; which till then I had not observed。  I
  started from my seat:  I made towards it as swiftly as my
  exhausted frame would permit。  How eagerly did I seize the
  Basket; on finding it to contain a loaf of coarse bread and a
  small bottle of water。
  I threw myself with avidity upon these humble aliments。 They had
  to all appearance been placed in the Vault for several days; The
  bread was hard; and the water tainted; Yet never did I taste food
  to me so delicious。  When the cravings of appetite were
  satisfied; I busied myself with conjectures upon this new
  circumstance: I debated whether the Basket had been placed there
  with a view to my necessity。  Hope answered my doubts in the
  affirmative。  Yet who could guess me to be in need of such
  assistance?  If my existence was known; why was I detained in
  this gloomy Vault?  If I was kept a Prisoner; what meant the
  ceremony of committing me to the Tomb?  Or if I was doomed to
  perish with hunger; to whose pity was I indebted for provisions
  placed within my reach?  A Friend would not have kept my dreadful
  punishment a secret; Neither did it seem probable that an Enemy
  would have taken pains to supply me with the means of existence。
  Upon the whole I was inclined to think that the Domina's designs
  upon my life had been discovered by some one of my Partizans in
  the Convent; who had found means to substitute an opiate for
  poison: That She had furnished me with food to support me; till
  She could effect my delivery:  And that She was then employed in
  giving intelligence to my Relations of my danger; and pointing
  out a way to release me from captivity。  Yet why then was the
  quality of my provisions so coarse?  How could my Friend have
  entered the Vault without the Domina's knowledge?  And if She had
  entered; why was the Door fastened so carefully?  These
  reflections staggered me:  Yet still this idea was the most
  favourable to my hopes; and I dwelt upon it in preference。
  My meditations were interrupted by the sound of distant
  footsteps。  They approached; but slowly。  Rays of light now
  darted through the crevices of the Door。 Uncertain whether the
  Persons who advanced came to relieve me; or were conducted by
  some other motive to the Vault; I failed not to attract their
  notice by loud cries for help。  Still the sounds drew near:  The
  light grew stronger:  At length with inexpressible pleasure I
  heard the Key turning in the Lock。  Persuaded that my deliverance
  was at hand; I flew towards the Door with a shriek of joy。  It
  opened:  But all my hopes of escape died away; when the Prioress
  appeared followed by the same four Nuns; who had been witnesses
  of my supposed death。  They bore torches in their hands; and
  gazed upon me in fearful silence。
  I started back in terror。  The Domina descended into the Vault;
  as did also her Companions。  She bent upon me a stern resentful
  eye; but expressed no surprize at finding me still living。  She
  took the seat which I had just quitted: The door was again
  closed; and the Nuns ranged themselves behind their Superior;
  while the glare of their torches; dimmed by the vapours and
  dampness of the Vault; gilded with cold beams the surrounding
  Monuments。  For some moments all preserved a dead and solemn
  silence。  I stood at some distance from the Prioress。  At length
  She beckoned me to advance。  Trembling at the severity of her
  aspect my strength scarce sufficed me to obey her。  I drew near;
  but my limbs were unable to support their burthen。  I sank upon
  my knees; I clasped my hands; and lifted them up to her for
  mercy; but had no power to articulate a syllable。
  She gazed upon me with angry eyes。
  'Do I see a Penitent; or a Criminal?' She said at length; 'Are
  those hands raised in contrition for your crimes; or in fear of
  meeting their punishment?  Do those tears acknowledge the justice
  of your doom; or only solicit mitigation of your sufferings?  I
  fear me; 'tis the latter!'
  She paused; but kept her eye still fixt upon mine。
  'Take courage;' She continued:  'I wish not for your death; but
  your repentance。  The draught which I administered; was no
  poison; but an opiate。  My intention in deceiving you was to
  make you feel the agonies of a guilty conscience; had Death
  overtaken you suddenly while your crimes were still unrepented。
  You have suffered those agonies:  I have brought you to be
  familiar with the sharpness of death; and I trust that your
  momentary anguish will prove to you an eternal benefit。  It is
  not my design to destroy your immortal soul; or bid you seek the
  grave; burthened with the weight of sins unexpiated。  No;
  Daughter; far from it:  I will purify you with wholesome
  chastisement; and furnish you with full leisure for contrition
  and remorse。  Hear then my sentence; The ill…judged zeal of your
  Friends delayed its execution; but cannot now prevent it。  All
  Madrid believes you to be no more; Your Relations are thoroughly
  persuaded of your death; and the Nuns your Partizans have
  assisted at your funeral。  Your existence can never be suspected;
  I have taken such precautions; as must render it an impenetrable
  mystery。  Then abandon all thoughts of a World from which you are
  eternally separated; and employ the few hours which are allowed
  you; in preparing for the next。'
  This exordium led me to expect something terrible。  I trembled;
  and would have spoken to deprecate her wrath: but a motion of the
  Domina commanded me to be silent。  She proceeded。
  'Though of late years unjustly neglected; and now opposed by many
  of our misguided Sisters; (whom Heaven convert!) it is my
  intention to revive the laws of our order in their full force。
  That against incontinence is severe; but no more than so
  monstrous an offence demands: Submit to it; Daughter; without
  resistance; You will find the benefit of patience and resignation
  in a better life than this。  Listen then to the sentence of St。
  Clare。  Beneath these Vaults there exist Prisons; intended to
  receive such criminals as yourself:  Artfully is their entrance
  concealed; and She who enters them; must resign all hopes of
  liberty。  Thither must you now be conveyed。  Food shall be
  supplied you; but not sufficient for the indulgence of appetite:
  You shall have just enough to keep together body and soul; and
  its quality shall be the simplest and coarsest。  Weep; Daughter;
  weep; and moisten your bread with your tears:  God knows that
  you have ample cause for sorrow!  Chained down in one of these
  secret dungeons; shut out from the world and light for ever; with
  no comfort but religion; no society but repentance; thus must you
  groan away the remainder of your days。  Such are St。 Clare's
  orders; Submit to them without repining。  Follow me!'
  Thunderstruck at this barbarous decree; my little remaining
  strength abandoned me。  I answered only by falling at her feet;
  and bathing them with tears。  The Domina; unmoved by my
  affliction; rose from her seat with a stately air。  She repeated
  her commands in an absolute tone:  But my excessive faintness
  made me unable to obey her。  Mariana and Alix raised me from the
  ground; and carried me forwards in their arms。  The Prioress
  moved on; leaning upon Violante; and Camilla preceded her with a
  Torch。  Thus passed our sad procession along the passages; in
  silence only broken by my sighs and groans。  We stopped before
  the principal shrine of St。 Clare。  The Statue was removed from
  its Pedestal; though how I knew not。  The Nuns afterwards raised
  an iron grate till then concealed by the Image; and let it fall
  on the other side with a loud crash。  The awful sound; repeated
  by the vaults above; and Caverns below me; rouzed me from the
  despondent apathy in which I had been plunged。  I looked before
  me:  An abyss presented itself to my affrighted eyes; and a steep
  and narrow Staircase; whither my Conductors were leading me。  I
  shrieked; and started back。  I implored compassion; rent the air
  with my cries; and summoned both heaven and earth to my
  assistance。  In vain! I was hurried down the Staircase; and
  forced into one of the Cells which lined the Cavern's sides。
  My blood ran cold; as I gazed upon this melancholy abode。  The
  cold vapours hovering in the air; the walls green with damp; the
  bed of Straw so forlorn a