第 51 节
作者:圈圈      更新:2021-02-18 22:40      字数:9321
  though He did not convince her that his reasoning was just; He at
  least prevented her from discovering it to be false。  He
  perceived that her respect for his judgment augmented daily; and
  doubted not with time to bring her to the point desired。
  He was not unconscious that his attempts were highly criminal:
  He saw clearly the baseness of seducing the innocent Girl:  But
  his passion was too violent to permit his abandoning his design。
  He resolved to pursue it; let the consequences be what they
  might。  He depended upon finding Antonia in some unguarded
  moment; And seeing no other Man admitted into her society; nor
  hearing any mentioned either by her or by Elvira; He imagined
  that her young heart was still unoccupied。 While He waited for
  the opportunity of satisfying his unwarrantable lust; every day
  increased his coldness for Matilda。  Not a little was this
  occasioned by the consciousness of his faults to her。  To hide
  them from her He was not sufficiently master of himself:  Yet He
  dreaded lest; in a transport of jealous rage; She should betray
  the secret on which his character and even his life depended。
  Matilda could not but remark his indifference:  He was conscious
  that She remarked it; and fearing her reproaches; shunned her
  studiously。  Yet when He could not avoid her; her mildness might
  have convinced him that He had nothing to dread from her
  resentment。  She had resumed the character of the gentle
  interesting Rosario: She taxed him not with ingratitude; But her
  eyes filled with involuntary tears; and the soft melancholy of
  her countenance and voice uttered complaints far more touching
  than words could have conveyed。  Ambrosio was not unmoved by her
  sorrow; But unable to remove its cause; He forbore to show that
  it affected him。  As her conduct convinced him that He needed not
  fear her vengeance; He continued to neglect her; and avoided her
  company with care。  Matilda saw that She in vain attempted to
  regain his affections:  Yet She stifled the impulse of
  resentment; and continued to treat her inconstant Lover with her
  former fondness and attention。
  By degrees Elvira's constitution recovered itself。  She was no
  longer troubled with convulsions; and Antonia ceased to tremble
  for her Mother。  Ambrosio beheld this reestablishment with
  displeasure。  He saw that Elvira's knowledge of the world would
  not be the Dupe of his sanctified demeanour; and that She would
  easily perceive his views upon her Daughter。  He resolved
  therefore; before She quitted her chamber; to try the extent of
  his influence over the innocent Antonia。
  One evening; when He had found Elvira almost perfectly restored
  to health; He quitted her earlier than was his usual custom。  Not
  finding Antonia in the Antichamber; He ventured to follow her
  to her own。  It was only separated from her Mother's by a Closet;
  in which Flora; the Waiting…Woman; generally slept。  Antonia sat
  upon a Sopha with her back towards the door; and read
  attentively。  She heard not his approach; till He had seated
  himself by her。  She started; and welcomed him with a look of
  pleasure:  Then rising; She would have conducted him to the
  sitting…room; But Ambrosio taking her hand; obliged her by gentle
  violence to resume her place。  She complied without difficulty:
  She knew not that there was more impropriety in conversing with
  him in one room than another。  She thought herself equally secure
  of his principles and her own; and having replaced herself upon
  the Sopha; She began to prattle to him with her usual ease and
  vivacity。
  He examined the Book which She had been reading; and had now
  placed upon the Table。  It was the Bible。
  'How!' said the Friar to himself; 'Antonia reads the Bible; and
  is still so ignorant?'
  But; upon a further inspection; He found that Elvira had made
  exactly the same remark。  That prudent Mother; while She admired
  the beauties of the sacred writings; was convinced that;
  unrestricted; no reading more improper could be permitted a young
  Woman。  Many of the narratives can only tend to excite ideas the
  worst calculated for a female breast:  Every thing is called
  plainly and roundly by its name; and the annals of a Brothel
  would scarcely furnish a greater choice of indecent expressions。
  Yet this is the Book which young Women are recommended to study;
  which is put into the hands of Children; able to comprehend
  little more than those passages of which they had better remain
  ignorant; and which but too frequently inculcates the first
  rudiments of vice; and gives the first alarm to the still
  sleeping passions。  Of this was Elvira so fully convinced; that
  She would have preferred putting into her Daughter's hands
  'Amadis de Gaul;' or 'The Valiant Champion; Tirante the
  White;' and would sooner have authorised her studying the lewd
  exploits of 'Don Galaor;' or the lascivious jokes of the
  'Damsel Plazer di mi vida。'  She had in consequence made two
  resolutions respecting the Bible。  The first was that Antonia
  should not read it till She was of an age to feel its beauties;
  and profit by its morality:  The second; that it should be copied
  out with her own hand; and all improper passages either altered
  or omitted。  She had adhered to this determination; and such was
  the Bible which Antonia was reading:  It had been lately
  delivered to her; and She perused it with an avidity; with a
  delight that was inexpressible。  Ambrosio perceived his mistake;
  and replaced the Book upon the Table。
  Antonia spoke of her Mother's health with all the enthusiastic
  joy of a youthful heart。
  'I admire your filial affection;' said the Abbot; 'It proves the
  excellence and sensibility of your character; It promises a
  treasure to him whom Heaven has destined to possess your
  affections。  The Breast; so capable of fondness for a Parent;
  what will it feel for a Lover?  Nay; perhaps; what feels it for
  one even now?  Tell me; my lovely Daughter; Have you known what
  it is to love?  Answer me with sincerity:  Forget my habit; and
  consider me only as a Friend。'
  'What it is to love?' said She; repeating his question; 'Oh! yes;
  undoubtedly; I have loved many; many People。'
  'That is not what I mean。  The love of which I speak can be felt
  only for one。  Have you never seen the Man whom you wished to be
  your Husband?'
  'Oh! No; indeed!'
  This was an untruth; but She was unconscious of its falsehood:
  She knew not the nature of her sentiments for Lorenzo; and never
  having seen him since his first visit to Elvira; with every day
  his Image grew less feebly impressed upon her bosom。  Besides;
  She thought of an Husband with all a Virgin's terror; and
  negatived the Friar's demand without a moment's hesitation。
  'And do you not long to see that Man; Antonia?  Do you feel no
  void in your heart which you fain would have filled up?  Do you
  heave no sighs for the absence of some one dear to you; but who
  that some one is; you know not?  Perceive you not that what
  formerly could please; has charms for you no longer?  That a
  thousand new wishes; new ideas; new sensations; have sprang in
  your bosom; only to be felt; never to be described?  Or while you
  fill every other heart with passion; is it possible that your own
  remains insensible and cold?  It cannot be!  That melting eye;
  that blushing cheek; that enchanting voluptuous melancholy which
  at times overspreads your features; all these marks belye your
  words。  You love; Antonia; and in vain would hide it from me。'
  'Father; you amaze me!  What is this love of which you speak?  I
  neither know its nature; nor if I felt it; why I should conceal
  the sentiment。'
  'Have you seen no Man; Antonia; whom though never seen before;
  you seemed long to have sought?  Whose form; though a Stranger's;
  was familiar to your eyes?  The sound of whose voice soothed you;
  pleased you; penetrated to your very soul?  In whose presence you
  rejoiced; for whose absence you lamented?  With whom your heart
  seemed to expand; and in whose bosom with confidence unbounded
  you reposed the cares of your own?  Have you not felt all this;
  Antonia?'
  'Certainly I have:  The first time that I saw you; I felt it。'
  Ambrosio started。  Scarcely dared He credit his hearing。
  'Me; Antonia?' He cried; his eyes sparkling with delight and
  impatience; while He seized her hand; and pressed it rapturously
  to his lips。  'Me; Antonia?  You felt these sentiments for me?'
  'Even with more strength than you have described。  The very
  moment that I beheld you; I felt so pleased; so interested!  I
  waited so eagerly to catch the sound of your voice; and when I
  heard it; it seemed so sweet!  It spoke to me a language till
  then so unknown!  Methought; it told me a thousand things which I
  wished to hear!  It seemed as if I had long known you; as if I
  had a right to your friendship; your advice; and your protection。
  I wept when you departed; and longed for the time which should
  restore you to my sight。'
  'Antonia!  my charming Antonia!' exclaimed the Monk; and caught
  her to his bosom; 'Can I believe my senses?  Repeat it to me; my
  sweet Girl!  Tell me again that you love me; that you love me
  truly and tenderly!'
  'Indeed; I do:  Let my Mother be excepted; and the world holds