第 8 节
作者:
打倒一切 更新:2021-02-18 22:30 字数:9322
her; he was hurt and grievously disappointed。
He accordingly turned the more readily to Marion; whose interests
and enthusiasm at the rehearsals of the piece seemed in contrast
most friendly and unselfish。 He could not help but compare the
attitude of the two girls at this time; when the failure or
success of his best work was still undecided。 He felt that as
Helen took so little interest in his success he could not dare to
trouble her with his anxieties concerning it; and she attributed
his silence to his preoccupation and interest in Marion。 So the
two grew apart; each misunderstanding the other and each troubled
in spirit at the other's indifference。
The first night of the play justified all that Marion and Wimpole
had claimed for it; and was a great personal triumph for the new
playwright。 The audience was the typical first…night
audience of the class which Charles Wimpole always commanded。 It
was brilliant; intelligent; and smart; and it came prepared to be
pleased。
From one of the upper stage…boxes Helen and Lady Gower watched
the successful progress of the play with an anxiety almost as
keen as that of the author。 To Helen it seemed as though the
giving of these lines to the publicthese lines which he had so
often read to her; and altered to her likingwas a desecration。
It seemed as though she were losing him indeedas though he now
belonged to these strange people; all of whom were laughing and
applauding his words; from the German Princess in the Royal box
to the straight…backed Tommy in the pit。 Instead of the painted
scene before her; she saw the birch…trees by the river at home;
where he had first read her the speech to which they were now
listening so intenselythe speech in which the hero tells the
girl he loves her。 She remembered that at the time she had
thought how wonderful it would be if some day some one made such
a speech to hernot Philipbut a man she loved。 And now?
If Philip would only make that speech to her now!
He came out at last; with Wimpole leading him; and bowed across a
glaring barrier of lights at a misty but vociferous audience that
was shouting the generous English bravo! and standing up to
applaud。 He raised his eyes to the box where Helen sat; and saw
her staring down at the tumult; with her hands clasped under her
chin。 Her face was colorless; but lit with the excitement of the
moment; and he saw that she was crying。
Lady Gower; from behind her; was clapping her hands delightedly。
〃But; my dear Helen;〃 she remonstrated breathlessly; 〃you never
told me he was so good…looking。〃
〃Yes;〃 said Helen; rising abruptly; 〃he isvery good…looking。〃
She crossed the box to where her cloak was hanging; but instead
of taking it down buried her face in its folds。
〃My dear child!〃 cried Lady Gower; in dismay。 〃What is it? The
excitement has been too much for you。〃
〃No; I am just happy;〃 sobbed Helen。 〃I am just happy for him。〃
〃We will go and tell him so then;〃 said Lady Gower。 〃I am sure
he would like to hear it from you to…night。〃
Philip was standing in the centre of the stage; surrounded by
many pretty ladies and elderly men。 Wimpole was hovering over
him as though he had claims upon him by the right of discovery。
But when Philip saw Helen; he pushed his way toward her eagerly
and took her hand in both of his。
〃I am so glad; Phil;〃 she said。 She felt it all so deeply that
she was afraid to say more; but that meant so much to her that
she was sure he would understand。
He had planned it very differently。 For a year he had dreamed
that; on the first night of his play; there would be a supper;
and that he would rise and drink her health; and tell his friends
and the world that she was the woman he loved; and that she had
agreed to marry him; and that at last he was able; through the
success of his play; to make her his wife。
And now they met in a crowd to shake hands; and she went her way
with one of her grand ladies; and he was left among a group of
chattering strangers。 The great English playwright took him by
the hand and in the hearing of all; praised him gracefully and
kindly。 It did not matter to Philip whether the older playwright
believed what he said or not; he knew it was generously meant。
〃I envy you this;〃 the great man was saying。 〃Don't lose any of
it; stay and listen to all they have to say。 You will never live
through the first night of your first play but once。〃
〃Yes; I hear them;〃 said Philip; nervously; 〃they are all too
kind。 But I don't hear the voice I have been listening for;〃 he
added in a whisper。 The older man pressed his hand again
quickly。 〃My dear boy;〃 he said; 〃I am sorry。〃
〃Thank you;〃 Philip answered。
Within a week he had forgotten the great man's fine words of
praise; but the clasp of his hand he cherished always。
Helen met Marion as she was leaving the stage door and stopped to
congratulate her on her success in the new part。 Marion was
radiant。 To Helen she seemed obstreperously happy and jubilant。
〃And; Marion;〃 Helen began bravely; 〃I also want to congratulate
you on something else。 Youyouneither of you have told me
yet;〃 she stammered; 〃but I am such an old friend of both that I
will not be kept out of the secret。〃 At these words Marion's air
of triumphant gayety vanished; she regarded Helen's troubled eyes
closely and kindly。
〃What secret; Helen?〃 she asked。
〃I came to the door of Philip's room the other day when you did
not know I was there;〃 Helen answered; 〃and I could not help
seeing how matters were。 And I do congratulate you bothand
wish youoh; such happiness!〃 Without a word Marion dragged her
back down the passage to her dressing…room; and closed the door。
〃Now tell me what you mean;〃 she said。
〃I am sorry if I discovered anything you didn't want known yet;〃
said Helen; 〃but the door was open。 Mr。 Wimpole had just left
you and had not shut it; and I could not help seeing。〃
Marion interrupted her with an eager exclamation of
enlightenment。
〃Oh; you were there; then;〃 she cried。 〃And you?〃 she asked
eagerly〃you thought Phil cared for methat we are engaged; and
it hurt you; you are sorry? Tell me;〃 she demanded; 〃are you
sorry?〃
Helen drew back and stretched out her hand toward the door。
〃How can you! she exclaimed; indignantly。 〃You have no right。〃
Marion stood between her and the door。
〃I have every right;〃 she said; 〃to help my friends; and I want
to help you and Philip。 And indeed I do hope you ARE sorry。
I hope you are miserable。 And I'm glad you saw me kiss him。
That was the first and the last time; and I did it because I was
happy and glad for him; and because I love him too; but not in
the least in the way he loves you。 No one ever loved any one as
he loves you。 And it's time you found it out。 And if I have
helped to make you find it out I'm glad; and I don't care how
much I hurt you。〃
〃Marion!〃 exclaimed Helen;〃 what does it mean? Do you mean
that you are not engaged; that〃
〃Certainly not;〃 Marion answered。 〃I am going to marry Reggie。
It is you that Philip loves; and I am very sorry for you that you
don't love him。〃
Helen clasped Marion's hands in both of hers。
〃But; Marion!〃 she cried; 〃I do; oh; I do!〃
There was a thick yellow fog the next morning; and with it rain
and a sticky; depressing dampness which crept through the window…
panes; and which neither a fire nor blazing gas…jets could
overcome。
Philip stood in front of the fireplace with the morning papers
piled high on the centre…table and scattered over the room about
him。
He had read them all; and he knew now what it was to wake up
famous; but he could not taste it。 Now that it had come it meant
nothing; and that it was so complete a triumph only made it the
harder。 In his most optimistic dreams he had never imagined
success so satisfying as the reality had proved to be; but in
his dreams Helen had always held the chief part; and without her;
success seemed only to mock him。
He wanted to lay it all before her; to say; 〃If you are pleased;
I am happy。 If you are satisfied; then I am content。 It was
done for you; and I am wholly yours; and all that I do is yours。〃
And; as though in answer to his thoughts; there was an instant
knock at the door; and Helen entered the room and stood smiling
at him across the table。
Her eyes were lit with excitement; and spoke with many emotions;
and her cheeks were brilliant with color。 He had never seen her
look more beautiful。
〃Why; Helen!〃 he exclaimed; 〃how good of you to come。 Is there
anything wrong? Is anything the matter?〃
She tried to speak; but faltered; and smiled at him appealingly。
〃What is it?〃 he asked in great concern。
Helen drew in her breath quickly; and at the same moment motioned
him awayand he stepped back and stood watching her in much
perplexity。
With her eyes fixed on his she raised her hands to her head;
and her fingers fumbled with the knot of her veil。 She pulled it
loose; and then; with a sudden courage; lifted her hat proudly;
as though it were a coronet; and placed it between them on his
table。
〃Philip;〃 she stammered; with the tears in her voi