priest　should　shrink　and　dwindle　away　before　the
  indignation　of　an　enlightened　world。
  But　the　worst　of　all　University　Snobs　are　those
  unfortunates　who　go　to　rack　and　ruin　from　their　desire　to
  ape　their　betters。　　Smith　becomes　acquainted　with　great
  people　at　college；　and　is　ashamed　of　his　father　the
  tradesman。　　Jones　has　fine　acquaintances；　and　lives　after
  their　fashion　like　a　gay　free…hearted　fellow　as　he　is；
  and　ruins　his　father；　and　robs　his　sister's　portion；　and
  cripples　his　younger　brother's　outset　in　life；　for　the
  pleasure　of　entertaining　my　lord；　and　riding　by　the　side
  of　Sir　John。　　And　though　it　may　be　very　good　fun　for
  Robinson　to　fuddle　himself　at　home　as　he　does　at　College；
  and　to　be　brought　home　by　the　policeman　he　has　just　been
  trying　to　knock　down　think　what　fun　it　is　for　the　poor
  old　soul　his　mother！the　half…pay　captain's　widow；　who
  has　been　pinching　herself　all　her　life　long；　in　order
  that　that　jolly　young　fellow　might　have　a　University
  education。
  CHAPTER　XVI
  ON　LITERARY　SNOBS
  What　will　he　say　about　Literary　Snobs？　has　been　a
  question；　I　make　no　doubt；　often　asked　by　the　public。
  How　can　he　let　off　his　own　profession？　　Will　that
  truculent　and　unsparing　monster　who　attacks　the　nobility；
  the　clergy；　the　army；　and　the　ladies；　indiscriminately；
  hesitate　when　the　turn　comes　to　EGORGER　his　own　flesh
  and　blood？
  My　dear　and　excellent　querist；　whom　does　the　schoolmaster
  flog　so　resolutely　as　his　own　son？　　Didn't　Brutus　chop
  his　offspring's　head　off？　　You　have　a　very　bad　opinion
  indeed　of　the　present　state　of　literature　and　of　literary
  men；　if　you　fancy　that　any　one　of　us　would　hesitate　to
  stick　a　knife　into　his　neighbour　penman；　if　the　latter's
  death　could　do　the　State　any　service。
  But　the　fact　is；　that　in　the　literary　profession　THERE
  ARE　NO　SNOBS。　　Look　round　at　the　whole　body　of　British
  men　of　letters；　and　I　defy　you　to　point　out　among　them　a
  single　instance　of　vulgarity；　or　envy；　or　assumption。
  Men　and　women；　as　far　as　I　have　known　them；　they　are　all
  modest　in　their　demeanour；　elegant　in　their　manners；
  spotless　in　their　lives；　and　honourable　in　their　conduct
  to　the　world　and　to　each　other。　　You　MAY；　occasionally；
  it　is　true；　hear　one　literary　man　abusing　his　brother；
  but　why？　　Not　in　the　least　out　of　malice；　not　at　all　from
  envy；　merely　from　a　sense　of　truth　and　public　duty。
  Suppose；　for　instance；　I；　good…naturedly　point　out　a
  blemish　in　my　friend　MR。　PUNCH'S　person；　and　say；　MR。　P。
  has　a　hump…back；　and　his　nose　and　chin　are　more　crooked
  than　those　features　in　the　Apollo　or　Antinous；　which　we
  are　accustomed　to　consider　as　our　standards　of　beauty；
  does　this　argue　malice　on　my　part　towards　MR。　PUNCH？　　Not
  in　the　least。　　It　is　the　critic's　duty　to　point　out
  defects　as　well　as　merits；　and　he　invariably　does　his
  duty　with　utmost　gentleness　and　candour。
  An　intelligent　foreigner's　testimony　about　our　manners　is
  always　worth　having；　and　I　think；　in　this　respect　the
  work　of　an　eminent　American；　Mr。　N。　P。　Willis　is
  eminently　valuable　and　impartial。　　In　his　'History　of
  Ernest　Clay；'　a　crack　magazine…writer；　the　reader　will
  get　an　exact　account　of　the　life　of　a　popular　man　of
  letters　in　England。　　He　is　always　the　lion　of　society。
  He　takes　the　PAS　of　dukes　and　earls；　all　the　nobility
  crowd　to　see　him：　I　forget　how　many　baronesses　and
  duchesses　fall　in　love　with　him。　　But　on　this　subject　let
  us　hold　our　tongues。　　Modesty　forbids　that　we　should
  reveal　the　names　of　the　heart…broken　countesses　and　dear
  marchionesses　who　are　pining　for　every　one　of　the
  contributors　in　PUNCH。
  If　　　　　　anybody　wants　to　know　how　intimately　authors　are
  connected　with　the　fashionable　world；　they　have　but　to
  read　the　genteel　novels。　　What　refinement　and　delicacy
  pervades　the　works　of　Mrs。　Barnaby！　　　What　delightful
  good　company　do　you　meet　with　in　Mrs。　Armytage！　　She
  seldom　introduces　you　to　anybody　under　a　marquis！　　I
  don't　know　anything　more　delicious　than　the　pictures　of
  genteel　life　in　'Ten　Thousand　a　Year；'　except　perhaps　the
  'Young　Duke；'　and　'Coningsby。'　　There's　a　modest　grace
  about　THEM；　and　an　air　of　easy　high　fashion；　which　only
  belongs　to　blood；　my　dear　Sirto　true　blood。
  And　what　linguists　many　of　our　writers　are！　　Lady　Bulwer；
  Lady　Londonderry；　Sir　Edward　himselfthey　write　the
  French　language　with　a　luxurious　elegance　and　ease　which
  sets　them　far　above　their　continental　rivals；　of　whom　not
  one　（except　Paul　de　Kock）　knows　a　word　of　English。
  And　what　Briton　can　read　without　enjoyment　the　works　of
  James；　so　admirable　for　terseness；　and　the　playful　humour
  and　dazzling　offhand　lightness　of　Ainsworth？　　Among　other
  humourists；　one　might　glance　at　a　Jerrold；　the　chivalrous
  advocate　of　Toryism　and　Church　and　State；　an　a　Beckett；
  with　a　lightsome　pen；　but　a　savage　earnestness　of
  purpose；　a　Jeames；　whose　pure　style；　and　wit　unmingled
  with　buffoonery；　was　relished　by　a　congenial　public。
  Speaking　of　critics；　perhaps　there　never　was　a　review
  that　has　done　so　much　for　literature　as　the　admirable
  QUARTERLY。　　It　has　its　prejudices；　to　be　sure；　as　which
  of　us　has　not？　　It　goes　out　of　its　way　to　abuse　a　great
  man；　or　lays　mercilessly　on　to　such　pretenders　as　Keats
  and　Tennyson；　but；　on　the　other　hand；　it　is　the　friend　of
  all　young　authors；　and　has　marked　and　nurtured　all　the
  rising　talent　of　the　country。　　It　is　loved　by　everybody。
  There；　again；　is　BLACKWOOD'S　MAGAZINEconspicuous　for
  modest　elegance　and　amiable　satire；　that　review　never
  passes　the　bounds　of　politeness　in　a　joke。　　It　is　the
  arbiter　of　manners；　and；　while　gently　exposing　the
  foibles　of　Londoners　（for　whom　the　BEAUX　ESPRITS　of
  Edinburgh　entertain　a　justifiable　contempt）；　it　is　never
  coarse　in　its　fun。　　The　fiery　enthusiasm　of　the　ATHENAEUM
  is　well　known：　and　the　bitter　wit　of　the　too　difficult
  LITERARY　GAZETTE。　　The　EXAMINER　is　perhaps　too　timid；　and
  the　SPECTATOR　too　boisterous　in　its　praisebut　who　can
  carp　at　these　minor　faults？　　No；　no；　the　critics　of
  England　and　the　authors　of　England　are　unrivalled　as　a
  body；　and　hence　it　becomes　impossible　for　us　to　find
  fault　with　them。
  Above　all；　I　never　knew　a　man　of　letters　ASHAMED　OF　HIS
  PROFESSION。　　Those　who　know　us；　know　what　an　affectionate
  and　brotherly　spirit　there　is　among　us　all。　　Sometimes
  one　of　us　rises　in　the　world：　we　never　attack　him　or
  sneer　at　him　under　those　circumstances；　but　rejoice　to　a
  man　at　his　success。　　If　Jones　dines　with　a　lord；　Smith
  never　says　Jones　is　a　courtier　and　cringer。　　Nor；　on　the
  other　hand；　does　Jones；　who　is　in　the　habit　of
  frequenting　the　society　of　great　people；　give　himself　any
  airs　on　account　of　the　company　he　keeps；　but　will　leave　a
  duke's　arm　in　Pall　Mall　to　come　over　and　speak　to　poor
  Brown；　the　young　penny…a…liner。
  That　sense　of　equality　and　fraternity　amongst　authors　has
  always　struck　me　as　one　of　the　most　amiable
  characteristics　of　the　class。　　It　is　because　we　know　and
  respect　each　other；　that　the　world　respects　us　so　much；
  that　we　hold　such　a　good　position　in　society；　and　demean
  ourselves　so　irreproachably　when　there。
  Literary　persons　are　held　in　such　esteem　by　the　nation
  that　about　two　of　them　have　been　absolutely　invited　to
  court　during　the　present　reign；　and　it　is　probable　that
  towards　the　end　of　the　season；　one　or　two　will　be　asked
  to　dinner　by　Sir　Robert　Peel。
  They　are　such　favourites　with　the　public；　that　they　are
  continually　obliged　to　have　their　pictures　taken　and
  published；　and　one　or　two　could　be　pointed　out；　of　whom
  the　nation　insists　upon　having　a　fresh　portrait　every
  year。　　Nothing　can　be　more　gratifying　than　this　proof　of
  the　affectionate　regard　which　the　people　has　for　its
  instructors。
  Literature　is　held　in　such　honour　in　England；　that　there
  is　a　sum　of　near　twelve　hundred　pounds　per　annum　set
  apart　to　pension　deserving　persons　following　that
  profession。　　And　a　great　compliment　this　is；　too；　to　the
  professors；　and　a　proof　of　their　generally　prosperous　and
  flourishing　condition。　　They　are　generally　so　rich　and
  thrifty；　that　scarcely　any　money　is　wanted　to　help　them。
  If　every　word　of　this　is　true；　how；　I　should　like　to　know
  am　I　to　write　about　Literary　Snobs？
  CHAPTER　XVII
  A　LITTLE　ABOUT　IRISH　SNOBS
  You　do　not；　to　be　sure；　imagine　that　there　are　no　other
  Snobs　in　Ireland　than　those　of　the　amiable　party　who　wish
  to　make　pikes　of　iron　railroads　（it's　a　fine　Irish
  economy）；　and　to　cut　the　throats　of　the　Saxon　invaders。
  These　are　of　the　venomous　sort；　and　had　they　been
  invented　in　his　time；　St。　Patrick　would　have　banished
  them　out　of　the　kingdom　along　with　the　other　dangerous
  reptiles。
  I　think　it　is　the　Four　Masters；　or　else　it's　Olaus
  Magnus；　or　else　it's　certainly　O'Neill　Daunt；　in　the
  'Catechism　of　Irish　History；'　who　relates　that　when
  Richard　the　Second　came　to　Ireland；　and　the　Irish　chiefs
  did　homage　to　hi