第 67 节
作者:闲来一看      更新:2021-02-18 21:19      字数:9319
  and opened her eyes wide; with terror and distress。
  〃Tell me! tell me!〃 she cried。
  〃Be comforted;〃 said the priest。 〃Your punishment is a proof that you
  will receive pardon。 God chastens his elect。 Woe to those whose
  misdeeds meet with fortunate success; they will be kneaded again in
  humanity until they in their turn are sorely punished for simple
  errors; and are brought to the maturity of celestial fruits。 Your
  life; my daughter; has been one long error。 You have fallen into the
  pit which you dug for yourself; we fail ever on the side we have
  ourselves weakened。 You gave your heart to an unnatural son; in whom
  you made your glory; and you have misunderstood the child who is your
  true glory。 You have been so deeply unjust that you never even saw the
  striking contrast between the brothers。 You owe the comfort of your
  life to Joseph; while your other son has pillaged you repeatedly。 The
  poor son; who loves you with no return of equal tenderness; gives you
  all the comfort that your life has had; the rich son; who never thinks
  of you; despises you and desires your death〃
  〃Oh! no;〃 she cried。
  〃Yes;〃 resumed the priest; 〃your humble position stands in the way of
  his proud hopes。 Mother; these are your sins! Woman; your sorrows and
  your anguish foretell that you shall know the peace of God。 Your son
  Joseph is so noble that his tenderness has never been lessened by the
  injustice your maternal preferences have done him。 Love him now; give
  him all your heart during your remaining days; pray for him; as I
  shall pray for you。〃
  The eyes of the mother; opened by so firm a hand; took in with one
  retrospective glance the whole course of her life。 Illumined by this
  flash of light; she saw her involuntary wrong…doing and burst into
  tears。 The old priest was so deeply moved at the repentance of a being
  who had sinned solely through ignorance; that he left the room hastily
  lest she should see his pity。
  Joseph returned to his mother's room about two hours after her
  confessor had left her。 He had been to a friend to borrow the
  necessary money to pay his most pressing debts; and he came in on
  tiptoe; thinking that his mother was asleep。 He sat down in an
  armchair without her seeing him; but he sprang up with a cold chill
  running through him as he heard her say; in a voice broken with
  sobs;
  〃Will he forgive me?〃
  〃What is it; mother?〃 he exclaimed; shocked at the stricken face of
  the poor woman; and thinking the words must mean the delirium that
  precedes death。
  〃Ah; Joseph! can you pardon me; my child?〃 she cried。
  〃For what?〃 he said。
  〃I have never loved you as you deserved to be loved。〃
  〃Oh; what an accusation!〃 he cried。 〃Not loved me? For seven years
  have we not lived alone together? All these seven years have you not
  taken care of me and done everything for me? Do I not see you every
  day;hear your voice? Are you not the gentle and indulgent companion
  of my miserable life? You don't understand painting?Ah! but that's a
  gift not always given。 I was saying to Grassou only yesterday: 'What
  comforts me in the midst of my trials is that I have such a good
  mother。 She is all that an artist's wife should be; she sees to
  everything; she takes care of my material wants without ever troubling
  or worrying me。'〃
  〃No; Joseph; no; you have loved me; but I have not returned you love
  for love。 Ah! would that I could live a little longer Give me your
  hand。〃
  Agathe took her son's hand; kissed it; held it on her heart; and
  looked in his face a long time;letting him see the azure of her eyes
  resplendent with a tenderness she had hitherto bestowed on Philippe
  only。 The painter; well fitted to judge of expression; was so struck
  by the change; and saw so plainly how the heart of his mother had
  opened to him; that he took her in his arms; and held her for some
  moments to his heart; crying out like one beside himself;〃My mother!
  oh; my mother!〃
  〃Ah! I feel that I am forgiven!〃 she said。 〃God will confirm the
  child's pardon of its mother。〃
  〃You must be calm: don't torment yourself; hear me。 I feel myself
  loved enough in this one moment for all the past;〃 he said; as he laid
  her back upon the pillows。
  During the two weeks' struggle between life and death; there glowed
  such love in every look and gesture and impulse of the soul of the
  pious creature; that each effusion of her feelings seemed like the
  expression of a lifetime。 The mother thought only of her son; she
  herself counted for nothing; sustained by love; she was unaware of her
  sufferings。 D'Arthez; Michel Chrestien; Fulgence Ridal; Pierre
  Grassou; and Bianchon often kept Joseph company; and she heard them
  talking art in a low voice in a corner of her room。
  〃Oh; how I wish I knew what color is!〃 she exclaimed one evening as
  she heard them discussing one of Joseph's pictures。
  Joseph; on his side; was sublimely devoted to his mother。 He never
  left her chamber; answered tenderness by tenderness; cherishing her
  upon his heart。 The spectacle was never afterwards forgotten by his
  friends; and they themselves; a band of brothers in talent and
  nobility of nature; were to Joseph and his mother all that they should
  have been;friends who prayed; and truly wept; not saying prayers and
  shedding tears; but one with their friend in thought and action。
  Joseph; inspired as much by feeling as by genius; divined in the
  occasional expression of his mother's face a desire that was deep
  hidden in her heart; and he said one day to d'Arthez;
  〃She has loved that brigand Philippe too well not to want to see him
  before she dies。〃
  Joseph begged Bixiou; who frequented the Bohemian regions where
  Philippe was still occasionally to be found; to persuade that
  shameless son to play; if only out of pity; a little comedy of
  tenderness which might wrap the mother's heart in a winding…sheet of
  illusive happiness。 Bixiou; in his capacity as an observing and
  misanthropical scoffer; desired nothing better than to undertake such
  a mission。 When he had made known Madame Bridau's condition to the
  Comte de Brambourg; who received him in a bedroom hung with yellow
  damask; the colonel laughed。
  〃What the devil do you want me to do there?〃 he cried。 〃The only
  service the poor woman can render me is to die as soon as she can; she
  would be rather a sorry figure at my marriage with Mademoiselle de
  Soulanges。 The less my family is seen; the better my position。 You can
  easily understand that I should like to bury the name of Bridau under
  all the monuments in Pere…Lachaise。 My brother irritates me by
  bringing the name into publicity。 You are too knowing not to see the
  situation as I do。 Look at it as if it were your own: if you were a
  deputy; with a tongue like yours; you would be as much feared as
  Chauvelin; you would be made Comte Bixiou; and director of the Beaux…
  Arts。 Once there; how should you like it if your grandmother Descoings
  were to turn up? Would you want that worthy woman; who looked like a
  Madame Saint…Leon; to be hanging on to you? Would you give her an arm
  in the Tuileries; and present her to the noble family you were trying
  to enter? Damn it; you'd wish her six feet under ground; in a leaden
  night…gown。 Come; breakfast with me; and let us talk of something
  else。 I am a parvenu; my dear fellow; and I know it。 I don't choose
  that my swaddling…clothes shall be seen。 My son will be more fortunate
  than I; he will be a great lord。 The scamp will wish me dead; I expect
  it;or he won't be my son。〃
  He rang the bell; and ordered the servant to serve breakfast。
  〃The fashionable world wouldn't see you in your mother's bedroom;〃
  said Bixiou。 〃What would it cost you to seem to love that poor woman
  for a few hours?〃
  〃Whew!〃 cried Philippe; winking。 〃So you come from them; do you? I'm
  an old camel; who knows all about genuflections。 My mother makes the
  excuse of her last illness to get something out of me for Joseph。 No;
  thank you!〃
  When Bixiou related this scene to Joseph; the poor painter was chilled
  to the very soul。
  〃Does Philippe know I am ill?〃 asked Agathe in a piteous tone; the day
  after Bixiou had rendered an account of his fruitless errand。
  Joseph left the room; suffocating with emotion。 The Abbe Loraux; who
  was sitting by the bedside of his penitent; took her hand and pressed
  it; and then he answered; 〃Alas! my child; you have never had but one
  son。〃
  The words; which Agathe understood but too well; conveyed a shock
  which was the beginning of the end。 She died twenty hours later。
  In the delirium which preceded death; the words; 〃Whom does Philippe
  take after?〃 escaped her。
  Joseph followed his mother to the grave alone。 Philippe had gone; on
  business it was said; to Orleans; in reality; he was driven from Paris
  by the following letter; which Joseph wrote to him a moment after
  their mother had breathed her last sigh: