nutes　before；　been　about　to　kill　me　like　a　dog；　without　exposing　himself　to　the　least　danger；　because　had　I　been　wounded　a　little　more　severely　in　the　leg　I　should　inevitably　have　fallen　over　the　cliff。
  For　a　few　moments　I　looked　him　fixedly　in　the　face；　trying　to　discern　thereon　even　a　slight　trace　of　repentance。　　But　it　seemed　to　me　that　he　was　restraining　a　smile。
  〃I　should　advise　you　to　say　a　prayer　before　you　die；〃　I　said。
  〃Do　not　worry　about　my　soul　any　more　than　your　own。　　One　thing　I　beg　of　you：　be　quick　about　firing。〃
  〃And　you　do　not　recant　your　slander？　　You　do　not　beg　my　forgiveness？　。　。　。　　Bethink　you　well：　has　your　conscience　nothing　to　say　to　you？〃
  〃Mr。　Pechorin！〃　exclaimed　the　captain　of　dragoons。　　〃Allow　me　to　point　out　that　you　are　not　here　to　preach。　。　。　　Let　us　lose　no　time；　in　case　anyone　should　ride　through　the　gorge　and　we　should　be　seen。〃
  〃Very　well。　　Doctor；　come　here！〃
  The　doctor　came　up　to　me。　　Poor　doctor！　　He　was　paler　than　Grushnitski　had　been　ten　minutes　before。
  The　words　which　followed　I　purposely　pro…　nounced　with　a　pause　between　each　　loudly　and　distinctly；　as　the　sentence　of　death　is　pro…　nounced：
  〃Doctor；　these　gentlemen　have　forgotten；　in　their　hurry；　no　doubt；　to　put　a　bullet　in　my　pistol。　　I　beg　you　to　load　it　afresh　　and　properly！〃
  〃Impossible！〃　cried　the　captain；　〃impossible！　I　loaded　both　pistols。　　Perhaps　the　bullet　has　rolled　out　of　yours。　。　。　　That　is　not　my　fault！　And　you　have　no　right　to　load　again。　。　。　　No　right　at　all。　　It　is　altogether　against　the　rules；　I　shall　not　allow　it〃　。　。　。
  〃Very　well！〃　I　said　to　the　captain。　　〃If　so；　then　you　and　I　shall　fight　on　the　same　terms〃　。　。　。
  He　came　to　a　dead　stop。
  Grushnitski　stood　with　his　head　sunk　on　his　breast；　embarrassed　and　gloomy。
  〃Let　them　be！〃　he　said　at　length　to　the　cap…　tain；　who　was　going　to　pull　my　pistol　out　of　the　doctor's　hands。　　〃You　know　yourself　that　they　are　right。〃
  In　vain　the　captain　made　various　signs　to　him。　Grushnitski　would　not　even　look。
  Meanwhile　the　doctor　had　loaded　the　pistol　and　handed　it　to　me。　　On　seeing　that；　the　captain　spat　and　stamped　his　foot。
  〃You　are　a　fool；　then；　my　friend；〃　he　said：　〃a　common　fool！　。　。　。　　You　trusted　to　me　before；　so　you　should　obey　me　in　everything　now。　。　。　　But　serve　you　right！　　Die　like　a　fly！〃　。　。　。
  He　turned　away；　muttering　as　he　went：
  〃But　all　the　same　it　is　absolutely　against　the　rules。〃
  〃Grushnitski！〃　I　said。　　〃There　is　still　time：　recant　your　slander；　and　I　will　forgive　you　every…　thing。　　You　have　not　succeeded　in　making　a　fool　of　me；　my　self…esteem　is　satisfied。　　Remem…　ber　　we　were　once　friends〃　。　。　。
  His　face　flamed；　his　eyes　flashed。
  〃Fire！〃　he　answered。　　〃I　despise　myself　and　I　hate　you。　　If　you　do　not　kill　me　I　will　lie　in　wait　for　you　some　night　and　cut　your　throat。　There　is　not　room　on　the　earth　for　both　of　us〃　。　。　。
  I　fired。
  When　the　smoke　had　cleared　away；　Grushnitski　was　not　to　be　seen　on　the　ledge。　　Only　a　slender　column　of　dust　was　still　eddying　at　the　edge　of　the　precipice。
  There　was　a　simultaneous　cry　from　the　rest。
  〃Finita　la　commedia！〃　I　said　to　the　doctor。
  He　made　no　answer；　and　turned　away　with　horror。
  I　shrugged　my　shoulders　and　bowed　to　Grush…　nitski's　seconds。
  CHAPTER　XXI
  AS　I　descended　by　the　path；　I　observed　Grush…　nitski's　bloodstained　corpse　between　the　clefts　of　the　rocks。　　Involuntarily；　I　closed　my　eyes。
  Untying　my　horse；　I　set　off　home　at　a　walking　pace。　　A　stone　lay　upon　my　heart。　　To　my　eyes　the　sun　seemed　dim；　its　beams　were　powerless　to　warm　me。
  I　did　not　ride　up　to　the　village；　but　turned　to　the　right；　along　the　gorge。　　The　sight　of　a　man　would　have　been　painful　to　me：　I　wanted　to　be　alone。　　Throwing　down　the　bridle　and　letting　my　head　fall　on　my　breast；　I　rode　for　a　long　time；　and　at　length　found　myself　in　a　spot　with　which　I　was　wholly　unfamiliar。　　I　turned　my　horse　back　and　began　to　search　for　the　road。　　The　sun　had　al…　ready　set　by　the　time　I　had　ridden　up　to　Kislo…　vodsk　　myself　and　my　horse　both　utterly　spent！
  My　servant　told　me　that　Werner　had　called；　and　he　handed　me　two　notes：　one　from　Werner；　the　other　。　。　。　from　Vera。
  I　opened　the　first；　its　contents　were　as　follows：
  〃Everything　has　been　arranged　as　well　as　could　be；　the　mutilated　body　has　been　brought　in；　and　the　bullet　extracted　from　the　breast。　　Every…　body　is　convinced　that　the　cause　of　death　was　an　unfortunate　accident；　only　the　Commandant；　who　was　doubtless　aware　of　your　quarrel；　shook　his　head；　but　he　said　nothing。　　There　are　no　proofs　at　all　against　you；　and　you　may　sleep　in　peace　。　。　。　if　you　can。　。　。　。　　Farewell！〃　。　。　。
  For　a　long　time　I　could　not　make　up　my　mind　to　open　the　second　note。　。　。　　What　could　it　be　that　she　was　writing　to　me？　。　。　。　　My　soul　was　agitated　by　a　painful　foreboding。
  Here　it　is；　that　letter；　each　word　of　which　is　indelibly　engraved　upon　my　memory：
  〃I　am　writing　to　you　in　the　full　assurance　that　we　shall　never　see　each　other　again。　　A　few　years　ago　on　parting　with　you　I　thought　the　same。　However；　it　has　been　Heaven's　will　to　try　me　a　second　time：　I　have　not　been　able　to　endure　the　trial；　my　frail　heart　has　again　submitted　to　the　well…known　voice。　。　。　　You　will　not　despise　me　for　that　　will　you？　　This　letter　will　be　at　once　a　farewell　and　a　confession：　I　am　obliged　to　tell　you　everything　that　has　been　treasured　up　in　my　heart　since　it　began　to　love　you。　　I　will　not　accuse　you　　you　have　acted　towards　me　as　any　other　man　would　have　acted；　you　have　loved　me　as　a　chattel；　as　a　source　of　joys；　disquietudes　and　griefs；　interchanging　one　with　the　other；　without　which　life　would　be　dull　and　monotonous。　　I　have　understood　all　that　from　the　first。　。　。　　But　you　were　unhappy；　and　I　have　sacrificed　myself；　hoping　that；　some　time；　you　would　appreciate　my　sacrifice；　that　some　time　you　would　understand　my　deep　tenderness；　unfettered　by　any　condi…　tions。　　A　long　time　has　elapsed　since　then：　I　have　fathomed　all　the　secrets　of　your　soul。　。　。　and　I　have　convinced　myself　that　my　hope　was　vain。　　It　has　been　a　bitter　blow　to　me！　　But　my　love　has　been　grafted　with　my　soul；　it　has　grown　dark；　but　has　not　been　extinguished。
  〃We　are　parting　for　ever；　yet　you　may　be　sure　that　I　shall　never　love　another。　　Upon　you　my　soul　has　exhausted　all　its　treasures；　its　tears；　its　hopes。　　She　who　has　once　loved　you　cannot　look　without　a　certain　disdain　upon　other　men；　not　because　you　have　been　better　than　they；　oh；　no！　but　in　your　nature　there　is　something　pecu…　liar　　belonging　to　you　alone；　something　proud　and　mysterious；　in　your　voice；　whatever　the　words　spoken；　there　is　an　invincible　power。　　No　one　can　so　constantly　wish　to　be　loved；　in　no　one　is　wickedness　ever　so　attractive；　no　one's　glance　promises　so　much　bliss；　no　one　can　better　make　use　of　his　advantages；　and　no　one　can　be　so　truly　unhappy　as　you；　because　no　one　endeavours　so　earnestly　to　convince　himself　of　the　contrary。
  〃Now　I　must　explain　the　cause　of　my　hurried　departure；　it　will　seem　of　little　importance　to　you；　because　it　concerns　me　alone。
  〃This　morning　my　husband　came　in　and　told　me　about　your　quarrel　with　Grushnitski。　　Evi…　dently　I　changed　countenance　greatly；　because　he　looked　me　in　the　face　long　and　intently。　　I　almost　fainted　at　the　thought　that　you　had　to　fight　a　duel　to…day；　and　that　I　was　the　cause　of　it；　it　seemed　to　me　that　I　should　go　mad。　。　。　　But　now；　when　I　am　able　to　reason；　I　am　sure　that　you　remain　alive：　it　is　impossible　that　you　should　die；　and　I　not　with　you　　impossible！　　My　hus…　band　walked　about　the　room　for　a　long　time。　　I　do　not　know　what　he　said　to　me；　I　do　not　remem…　ber　what　I　answered。　。　。　　Most　likely　I　told　him　that　I　loved　you。　。　。　　I　only　remember　that；　at　the　end　of　our　conversation；　he　insulted　me　with　a　dreadful　word　and　left　the　room。　　I　heard　him　ordering　the　carriage。　。　。　　I　have　been　sitting　at　the　window　three　hours　now；　awaiting　your　re…　turn。　。　。　　But　you　are　alive；　you　cannot　have　died！　。　。　。　　The　carriage　is　almost　ready。　。　。　Good…bye；　good…bye！　。　。　。　　I　have　perished　　but　what　matter？　　If　I　could　be　sure　that　you　will　always　remember　me　　I　no　longer　say　love　　no；　only　remember　。　。　。　　Good…bye；　they　are　com…　ing！　。　。　。　　I　must　hide　this　letter。
  〃You　do　not　love　Mary；　do　you？　　You　will　not　marry　her？　　Listen；　you　must　offer　me　that　sacrifice。　　I　have　lost　everything　in　the　world　for　you〃　。　。　。
  Like　a　madman　I　sprang　on　the　steps；　jumped　on　my　Circassian　horse　which　was　being　led　about　the　courtyard；　and　set　off　at　full　gallop　along　the　road　to　Pyatigorsk。　　Unsparingly　I　urged　on　the　jaded　horse；　which；　snorting　and　all　in　a　foam；　carried　me　swiftly　along　the　rocky　road。
  The　sun　had　already　disappeared　behind　a　black　cloud；　which　had　been　resting　on　the　ridge　of　the　western　mountains；　the　gorge　grew　dark　and　damp。　　The　Podkumok；　forcing　its　way　over　the　rocks；　roared　with　a　hollow　and　monotonous　sound。　　I　galloped　on；　choking　with　impatience。　The　idea　of　not　finding　Vera　in　Pyatigorsk　struck　my　heart　like　a　hammer。　　For　one　minute；　again　to　see　her　for　one　minute；　to　say　farewell；　to　press　her　hand。　。　。　　I　prayed；　cursed；　wept；　laughed。　。　。　　No；　nothing　could　express　my　anxiety；　my　despair！　。　。　。　　Now　that　it　seemed　possible　that　I　might　be　about　to　lose　her