the　restraint　I　laid　on　myself　in　abstaining　from　the　several
  diversions　adapted　to　my　years　cost　me　many　a　yearning；　but　the
  pride　which　I　inwardly　enjoyed　in　the　fancied　dignity　of　my
  character　made　me　some　amends。
  〃Thus　I　passed　on；　without　anything　very　memorable　happening　to
  me；　till　I　arrived　at　the　age　of　twenty…three；　when　unfortunately
  I　fell　acquainted　with　a　young　Neapolitan　lady　whose　name　was
  Ariadne。　　Her　beauty　was　so　exquisite　that　her　first　sight　made　a
  violent　impression　on　me；　this　was　again　improved　by　her
  behavior；　which　was　most　genteel；　easy；　and　affable：　　lastly；　her
  conversation　completed　the　conquest。　　In　this　she　discovered　a
  strong　and　lively　understanding；　with　the　sweetest　and　most
  benign　temper。　　This　lovely　creature　was　about　eighteen　when　I
  first　unhappily　beheld　her　at　Rome；　on　a　visit　to　a　relation　with
  whom　I　had　great　intimacy。　　As　our　interviews　at　first　were
  extremely　frequent；　my　passions　were　captivated　before　I
  apprehended　the　least　danger；　and　the　sooner　probably；　as　the
  young　lady　herself；　to　whom　I　consulted　every　method　of
  recommendation；　was　not　displeased　with　my　being　her　admirer。
  〃Ariadne；　having　spent　three　months　at　Rome；　now　returned　to
  Naples；　bearing　my　heart　with　her：　　on　the　other　hand；　I　had　all
  the　assurances　consistent　with　the　constraint　under　which　the
  most　perfect　modesty　lays　a　young　woman；　that　her　own　heart　was
  not　entirely　unaffected。　　I　soon　found　her　absence　gave　me　an
  uneasiness　not　easy　to　be　borne　or　to　remove。　　I　now　first
  applied　to　diversions　（of　the　graver　sort；　particularly　to
  music）；　but　in　vain；　they　rather　raised　my　desires　and　heightened
  my　anguish。　　My　passion　at　length　grew　so　violent；　that　I　began
  to　think　of　satisfying　it。　　As　the　first　step　to　this；　I
  cautiously　inquired　into　the　circumstances　of　Ariadne's　parents；
  with　which　I　was　hitherto　unacquainted：　　though；　indeed；　I　did
  not　apprehend　they　were　extremely　great；　notwithstanding　the
  handsome　appearance　of　their　daughter　at　Rome。　　Upon　examination；
  her　fortune　exceeded　my　expectation；　but　was　not　sufficient　to
  justify　my　marriage　with　her；　in　the　opinion　of　the　wise　and
  prudent。　　I　had　now　a　violent　struggle　between　wisdom　and
  happiness；　in　which；　after　several　grievous　pangs；　wisdom　got　the
  better。　　I　could　by　no　means　prevail　with　myself　to　sacrifice
  that　character　of　profound　wisdom；　which　I　had　with　such　uniform
  conduct　obtained；　and　with　such　caution　hitherto　preserved。　　I
  therefore　resolved　to　conquer　my　affection；　whatever　it　cost　me；
  and　indeed　it　did　not　cost　me　a　little。
  〃While　I　was　engaged　in　this　conflict　（for　it　lasted　a　long　time）
  Ariadne　returned　to　Rome：　　her　presence　was　a　terrible　enemy　to
  my　wisdom；　which　even　in　her　absence　had　with　great　difficulty
  stood　its　ground。　　It　seems　（as　she　hath　since　told　me　in　Elysium
  with　much　merriment）　I　had　made　the　same　impressions　on　her　which
  she　had　made　on　me。　　Indeed；　I　believe　my　wisdom　would　have　been
  totally　subdued　by　this　surprise；　had　it　not　cunningly　suggested
  to　me　a　method　of　satisfying　my　passion　without　doing　any　injury
  to　my　reputation。　　This　was　by　engaging　her　privately　as　a
  mistress；　which　was　at　that　time　reputable　enough　at　Rome；
  provided　the　affair　was　managed　with　an　air　of　slyness　and
  gravity；　though　the　secret　was　known　to　the　whole　city。
  〃I　immediately　set　about　this　project；　and　employed　every　art　and
  engine　to　effect　it。　　I　had　particularly　bribed　her　priest；　and
  an　old　female　acquaintance　and　distant　relation　of　hers；　into　my
  interest：　　but　all　was　in　vain；　her　virtue　opposed　the　passion　in
  her　breast　as　strongly　as　wisdom　had　opposed　it　in　mine。　　She
  received　my　proposals　with　the　utmost　disdain；　and　presently
  refused　to　see　or　hear　from　me　any　more。
  〃She　returned　again　to　Naples；　and　left　me　in　a　worse　condition
  than　before。　　My　days　I　now　passed　with　the　most　irksome
  uneasiness；　and　my　nights　were　restless　and　sleepless。　　The　story
  of　our　amour　was　now　pretty　public；　and　the　ladies　talked　of　our
  match　as　certain；　but　my　acquaintance　denied　their　assent；
  saying；　'No；　no；　he　is　too　wise　to　marry　so　imprudently。'　　This
  their　opinion　gave　me；　I　own；　very　great　pleasure；　but；　to　say
  the　truth；　scarce　compensated　the　pangs　I　suffered　to　preserve
  it。
  〃One　day；　while　I　was　balancing　with　myself；　and　had　almost
  resolved　to　enjoy　my　happiness　at　the　price　of　my　character；　a
  friend　brought　me　word　that　Ariadne　was　married。　　This　news
  struck　me　to　the　soul；　and　though　I　had　resolution　enough　to
  maintain　my　gravity　before　him　（for　which　I　suffered　not　a　little
  the　more）；　the　moment　I　was　alone　I　threw　myself　into　the　most
  violent　fit　of　despair；　and　would　willingly　have　parted　with
  wisdom；　fortune；　and　everything　else；　to　have　retrieved　her；　but
  that　was　impossible；　and　I　had　now　nothing　but　time　to　hope　a
  cure　from。　　This　was　very　tedious　in　performing　it；　and　the
  longer　as　Ariadne　had　married　a　Roman　cavalier；　was　now　become　my
  near　neighbor；　and　I　had　the　mortification　of　seeing　her　make　the
  best　of　wives；　and　of　having　the　happiness　which　I　had　lost；
  every　day　before　my　eyes。
  〃If　I　suffered　so　much　on　account　of　my　wisdom　in　having　refused
  Ariadne；　I　was　not　much　more　obliged　to　it　for　procuring　me　a
  rich　widow；　who　was　recommended　to　me　by　an　old　friend　as　a　very
  prudent　match；　and；　indeed；　so　it　was；　her　fortune　being　superior
  to　mine　in　the　same　proportion　as　that　of　Ariadne　had　been
  inferior。　　I　therefore　embraced　this　proposal；　and　my　character
  of　wisdom　soon　pleaded　so　effectually　for　me　with　the　widow；　who
  was　herself　a　woman　of　great　gravity　and　discretion；　that　I　soon
  succeeded；　and　as　soon　as　decency　would　permit　（of　which　this
  lady　was　the　strictest　observer）　we　were　married；　being　the
  second　day　of　the　second　week　of　the　second　year　after　her
  husband's　death；　for　she　said　she　thought　some　period　of　time
  above　the　year　had　a　great　air　of　decorum。
  〃But；　prudent　as　this　lady　was；　she　made　me　miserable。　　Her
  person　was　far　from　being　lovely；　but　her　temper　was　intolerable。
  During　fifteen　years'　habitation；　I　never　passed　a　single　day
  without　heartily　cursing　her；　and　the　hour　in　which　we　came
  together。　　The　only　comfort　I　received；　in　the　midst　of　the
  highest　torments；　was　from　continually　hearing　the　prudence　of　my
  match　commended　by　all　my　acquaintance。
  〃Thus　you　see；　in　the　affairs　of　love；　I　bought　the　reputation　of
  wisdom　pretty　dear。　　In　other　matters　I　had　it　somewhat　cheaper；
  not　that　hypocrisy；　which　was　the　price　I　gave　for　it；　gives　one
  no　pain。　　I　have　refused　myself　a　thousand　little　amusements　with
  a　feigned　contempt；　while　I　have　really　had　an　inclination　to
  them。　　I　have　often　almost　choked　myself　to　restrain　from
  laughing　at　a　jest；　and　（which　was　perhaps　to　myself　the　least
  hurtful　of　all　my　hypocrisy）　have　heartily　enjoyed　a　book　in　my
  closet　which　I　have　spoken　with　detestation　of　in　public。　　To　sum
  up　my　history　in　short；　as　I　had　few　adventures　worth
  remembering；　my　whole　life　was　one　constant　lie；　and　happy　would
  it　have　been　for　me　if　I　could　as　thoroughly　have　imposed　on
  myself　as　I　did　on　others：　　for　reflection；　at　every　turn；　would
  often　remind　me　I　was　not　so　wise　as　people　thought　me；　and　this
  considerably　embittered　the　pleasure　I　received　from　the　public
  commendation　of　my　wisdom。　　This　self…admonition；　like　a　memento
  mori　or　mortalis　es；　must　be；　in　my　opinion；　a　very　dangerous
  enemy　to　flattery：　　indeed；　a　weight　sufficient　to　counterbalance
  all　the　false　praise　of　the　world。　　But　whether　it　be　that　the
  generality　of　wise　men　do　not　reflect　at　all；　or　whether　they
  have；　from　a　constant　imposition　on　others；　contracted　such　a
  habit　of　deceit　as　to　deceive　themselves；　I　will　not　determine：
  it　is；　I　believe；　most　certain　that　very　few　wise　men　know
  themselves　what　fools　they　are；　more　than　the　world　doth。　　Good
  gods！　could　one　but　see　what　passes　in　the　closet　of　wisdom！　how
  ridiculous　a　sight　must　it　be　to　behold　the　wise　man；　who
  despises　gratifying　his　palate；　devouring　custard；　the　sober　wise
  man　with　his　dram…bottle；　or；　the　anti…carnalist　（if　I　may　be
  allowed　the　expression）　chuckling　over　a　bdy　book　or　picture；
  and　perhaps　caressing　his　house…maid！
  〃But　to　conclude　a　character　in　which　I　apprehend　I　made　as
  absurd　a　figure　as　in　any　in　which　I　trod　the　stage　of　earth；　my
  wisdom　at　last　but　an　end　to　itself；　that　is；　occasioned　my
  dissolution。
  〃A　relation　of　mine　in　the　eastern　part　of　the　empire
  disinherited　his　son；　and　left　me　his　heir。　　This　happened　in　the
  depth　of　winter；　when　I　was　in　my　grand　climacteric；　and　had　just
  recovered　of　a　dangerous　disease。　　As　I　had　all　the　reason
  imaginable　to　apprehend　the　family　of　the　deceased　would　conspire
  against　me；　and　embezzle　as　much　as　they　could；　I　advised　with　a
  grave　and　wise　friend　what　was　proper　to　be　done；　whether　I
  should　go　myself；　or　employ　a