第 10 节
作者:
雨霖铃 更新:2024-12-13 14:16 字数:9322
world was at Laodicea; in Syria; in a Roman family of no great
note; and; being of a roving disposition; I came at the age of
seventeen to Constantinople; where; after about a year's stay; I
set out for Thrace; at the time when the emperor Valens admitted
the Goths into that country。 I was there so captivated with the
beauty of a Gothic lady; the wife of one Rodoric; a captain;
whose name; out of the most delicate tenderness for her lovely
sex; I shall even at this distance conceal; since her behavior to
me was more consistent with good…nature than with that virtue
which women are obliged to preserve against every assailant。 In
order to procure an intimacy with this woman I sold myself a
slave to her husband; who; being of a nation not over…inclined to
jealousy; presented me to his wife; for those very reasons which
would have induced one of a jealous complexion to have withheld
me from her; namely; for that I was young and handsome。
〃Matters succeeded so far according to my wish; and the sequel
answered those hopes which this beginning had raised。 I soon
perceived my service was very acceptable to her; I often met her
eyes; nor did she withdraw them without a confusion which is
scarce consistent with entire purity of heart。 Indeed; she gave
me every day fresh encouragement; but the unhappy distance which
circumstances had placed between us deterred me long from making
any direct attack; and she was too strict an observer of decorum
to violate the severe rules of modesty by advancing first; but
passion at last got the better of my respect; and I resolved to
make one bold attempt; whatever was the consequence。
Accordingly; laying hold of the first kind opportunity; when she
was alone and my master abroad; I stoutly assailed the citadel
and carried it by storm。 Well may I say by storm; for the
resistance I met was extremely resolute; and indeed as much as
the most perfect decency would require。 She swore often she
would cry out for help; but I answered it was in vain; seeing
there was no person near to assist her; and probably she believed
me; for she did not once actually cry out; which if she had; I
might very likely have been prevented。
〃When she found her virtue thus subdued against her will she
patiently submitted to her fate; and quietly suffered me a long
time to enjoy the most delicious fruits of my victory; but
envious fortune resolved to make me pay a dear price for my
pleasure。 One day in the midst of our happiness we were suddenly
surprised by the unexpected return of her husband; who; coming
directly into his wife's apartment; just allowed me time to creep
under the bed。 The disorder in which he found his wife might
have surprised a jealous temper; but his was so far otherwise;
that possibly no mischief might have happened had he not by a
cross accident discovered my legs; which were not well hid。 He
immediately drew me out by them; and then; turning to his wife
with a stern countenance; began to handle a weapon he wore by his
side; with which I am persuaded he would have instantly
dispatched her; had I not very gallantly; and with many
imprecations; asserted her innocence and my own guilt; which;
however; I protested had hitherto gone no farther than design。
She so well seconded my plea (for she was a woman of wonderful
art); that he was at length imposed upon; and now all his rage
was directed against me; threatening all manner of tortures;
which the poor lady was in too great a fright and confusion to
dissuade him from executing; and perhaps; if her concern for me
had made her attempt it; it would have raised a jealousy in him
not afterwards to be removed。
〃After some hesitation Roderic cried out he had luckily hit on
the most proper punishment for me in the world; by a method which
would at once do severe justice on me for my criminal intention;
and at the same time prevent me from any danger of executing my
wicked purpose hereafter。 This cruel resolution was immediately
executed; and I was no longer worthy the name of a man。
〃Having thus disqualified me from doing him any future injury; he
still retained me in his family; but the lady; very probably
repenting of what she had done; and looking on me as the author
of her guilt; would never for the future give me either a kind
word or look: and shortly after; a great exchange being made
between the Romans and the Goths of dogs for men; my lady
exchanged me with a Roman widow for a small lap…dog; giving a
considerable sum of money to boot。
〃In this widow's service I remained seven years; during all which
time I was very barbarously treated。 I was worked without the
least mercy; and often severely beat by a swinging maid…servant;
who never called me by any other names than those of the Thing
and the Animal。 Though I used my utmost industry to please; it
never was in my power。 Neither the lady nor her woman would eat
anything I touched; saying they did not believe me wholesome。 It
is unnecessary to repeat particulars; in a word; you can imagine
no kind of ill usage which I did not suffer in this family。
〃At last an heathen priest; an acquaintance of my lady's;
obtained me of her for a present。 The scene was now totally
changed; and I had as much reason to be satisfied with my present
situation as I had to lament my former。 I was so absolutely my
master's favorite; that the rest of the slaves paid me almost as
much regard as they showed to him; well knowing that it was
entirely in my power to command and treat them as I pleased。 I
was intrusted with all my master's secrets; and used to assist
him in privately conveying away by night the sacrifices from the
altars; which the people believed the deities themselves
devoured。 Upon these we feasted very elegantly; nor could
invention suggest a rarity which we did not pamper ourselves
with。 Perhaps you may admire at the close union between this
priest and his slave; but we lived in an intimacy which the
Christians thought criminal; but my master; who knew the will of
the gods; with whom he told me he often conversed; assured me it
was perfectly innocent。
〃This happy life continued about four years; when my master's
death; occasioned by a surfeit got by overfeeding on several
exquisite dainties; put an end to it。
〃I now fell into the hands of one of a very different
disposition; and this was no other than the celebrated St。
Chrysostom; who dieted me with sermons instead of sacrifices; and
filled my ears with good things; but not my belly。 Instead of
high food to fatten and pamper my flesh; I had receipts to
mortify and reduce it。 With these I edified so well; that within
a few months I became a skeleton。 However; as he had converted
me to his faith; I was well enough satisfied with this new manner
of living; by which he taught me I might insure myself an eternal
reward in a future state。 The saint was a good…natured man; and
never gave me an ill word but once; which was occasioned by my
neglecting to place Aristophanes; which was his constant
bedfellow; on his pillow。 He was; indeed; extremely fond of that
Greek poet; and frequently made me read his comedies to him。
When I came to any of the loose passages he would smile; and say;
'It was pity his matter was not as pure as his style;' of which
latter he was so immoderately fond that; notwithstanding the
detestation he expressed for obscenity; he hath made me repeat
those passages ten times over。 The character of this good man
hath been very unjustly attacked by his heathen contemporaries;
particularly with regard to women; but his severe invectives
against that sex are his sufficient justification。
〃From the service of this saint; from whom I received
manumission; I entered into the family of Timasius; a leader of
great eminence in the imperial army; into whose favor I so far
insinuated myself that he preferred me to a good command; and
soon made me partaker of both his company and his secrets。 I
soon grew intoxicated with this preferment; and the more he
loaded me with benefits the more he raised my opinion of my own
merit; which; still outstripping the rewards he conferred on me;
inspired me rather with dissatisfaction than gratitude。 And
thus; by preferring me beyond my merit or first expectation; he
made me an envious aspiring enemy; whom perhaps a more moderate
bounty would have preserved a dutiful servant。
〃I fell now acquainted with one Lucilius; a creature of the prime
minister Eutropius; who had by his favor been raised to the post
of a tribune; a man of low morals; and eminent only in that
meanest of qualities; cunning。 This gentleman; imagining me a
fit tool for the minister's purpose; having often sounded my
principles of honor and honesty; both which he declared to me
were words without meaning; and finding my ready concurrence in
his sentiments; recommended me to Eutropius as ve