第 3 节
作者:
精灵王 更新:2024-12-10 17:43 字数:9322
and in the dark at night; and sometimes by day when he can get me
apart with him; he laments a mother and a sweetheart。 Do you know
what made him take me for a confidant?'
She parted her lips with a look; but did not speak。 The look
burned all through me with a sudden vital heat。
'Because I had once seen; in marching by; the belfry of his
village!' I continued。 'The circumstance is quaint enough。 It
seems to bind up into one the whole bundle of those human instincts
that make life beautiful; and people and places dear … and from
which it would seem I am cut off!'
I rested my chin on my knee and looked before me on the ground。 I
had been talking until then to hold her; but I was now not sorry
she should go: an impression is a thing so delicate to produce and
so easy to overthrow! Presently she seemed to make an effort。
'I will take this toy;' she said; laid a five…and…sixpenny piece in
my hand; and was gone ere I could thank her。
I retired to a place apart near the ramparts and behind a gun。 The
beauty; the expression of her eyes; the tear that had trembled
there; the compassion in her voice; and a kind of wild elegance
that consecrated the freedom of her movements; all combined to
enslave my imagination and inflame my heart。 What had she said?
Nothing to signify; but her eyes had met mine; and the fire they
had kindled burned inextinguishably in my veins。 I loved her; and
I did not fear to hope。 Twice I had spoken with her; and in both
interviews I had been well inspired; I had engaged her sympathies;
I had found words that she must remember; that would ring in her
ears at night upon her bed。 What mattered if I were half shaved
and my clothes a caricature? I was still a man; and I had drawn my
image on her memory。 I was still a man; and; as I trembled to
realise; she was still a woman。 Many waters cannot quench love;
and love; which is the law of the world; was on my side。 I closed
my eyes; and she sprang up on the background of the darkness; more
beautiful than in life。 'Ah!' thought I; 'and you too; my dear;
you too must carry away with you a picture; that you are still to
behold again and still to embellish。 In the darkness of night; in
the streets by day; still you are to have my voice and face;
whispering; making love for me; encroaching on your shy heart。 Shy
as your heart is; IT is lodged there … I am lodged there; let the
hours do their office … let time continue to draw me ever in more
lively; ever in more insidious colours。' And then I had a vision
of myself; and burst out laughing。
A likely thing; indeed; that a beggar…man; a private soldier; a
prisoner in a yellow travesty; was to awake the interest of this
fair girl! I would not despair; but I saw the game must be played
fine and close。 It must be my policy to hold myself before her;
always in a pathetic or pleasing attitude; never to alarm or
startle her; to keep my own secret locked in my bosom like a story
of disgrace; and let hers (if she could be induced to have one)
grow at its own rate; to move just so fast; and not by a hair's…
breadth any faster; than the inclination of her heart。 I was the
man; and yet I was passive; tied by the foot in prison。 I could
not go to her; I must cast a spell upon her at each visit; so that
she should return to me; and this was a matter of nice management。
I had done it the last time … it seemed impossible she should not
come again after our interview; and for the next I had speedily
ripened a fresh plan。 A prisoner; if he has one great disability
for a lover; has yet one considerable advantage: there is nothing
to distract him; and he can spend all his hours ripening his love
and preparing its manifestations。 I had been then some days upon a
piece of carving; … no less than the emblem of Scotland; the Lion
Rampant。 This I proceeded to finish with what skill I was
possessed of; and when at last I could do no more to it (and; you
may be sure; was already regretting I had done so much); added on
the base the following dedication。 …
A LA BELLE FLORA
LE PRISONNIER RECONNAISSANT
A。 D。 ST。 Y。 D。 K。
I put my heart into the carving of these letters。 What was done
with so much ardour; it seemed scarce possible that any should
behold with indifference; and the initials would at least suggest
to her my noble birth。 I thought it better to suggest: I felt that
mystery was my stock…in…trade; the contrast between my rank and
manners; between my speech and my clothing; and the fact that she
could only think of me by a combination of letters; must all tend
to increase her interest and engage her heart。
This done; there was nothing left for me but to wait and to hope。
And there is nothing further from my character: in love and in war;
I am all for the forward movement; and these days of waiting made
my purgatory。 It is a fact that I loved her a great deal better at
the end of them; for love comes; like bread; from a perpetual
rehandling。 And besides; I was fallen into a panic of fear。 How;
if she came no more; how was I to continue to endure my empty days?
how was I to fall back and find my interest in the major's lessons;
the lieutenant's chess; in a twopenny sale in the market; or a
halfpenny addition to the prison fare?
Days went by; and weeks; I had not the courage to calculate; and
to…day I have not the courage to remember; but at last she was
there。 At last I saw her approach me in the company of a boy about
her own age; and whom I divined at once to be her brother。
I rose and bowed in silence。
'This is my brother; Mr。 Ronald Gilchrist;' said she。 'I have told
him of your sufferings。 He is so sorry for you!'
'It is more than I have the right to ask;' I replied; 'but among
gentlefolk these generous sentiments are natural。 If your brother
and I were to meet in the field; we should meet like tigers; but
when he sees me here disarmed and helpless; he forgets his
animosity。' (At which; as I had ventured to expect; this beardless
champion coloured to the ears for pleasure。) 'Ah; my dear young
lady;' I continued; 'there are many of your countrymen languishing
in my country; even as I do here。 I can but hope there is found
some French lady to convey to each of them the priceless
consolation of her sympathy。 You have given me alms; and more than
alms … hope; and while you were absent I was not forgetful。 Suffer
me to be able to tell myself that I have at least tried to make a
return; and for the prisoner's sake deign to accept this trifle。'
So saying; I offered her my lion; which she took; looked at in some
embarrassment; and then; catching sight of the dedication; broke
out with a cry。
'Why; how did you know my name?' she exclaimed。
'When names are so appropriate; they should be easily guessed;'
said I; bowing。 'But indeed; there was no magic in the matter。 A
lady called you by name on the day I found your handkerchief; and I
was quick to remark and cherish it。'
'It is very; very beautiful;' said she; 'and I shall be always
proud of the inscription。 … Come; Ronald; we must be going。' She
bowed to me as a lady bows to her equal; and passed on (I could
have sworn) with a heightened colour。
I was overjoyed: my innocent ruse had succeeded; she had taken my
gift without a hint of payment; and she would scarce sleep in peace
till she had made it up to me。 No greenhorn in matters of the
heart; I was besides aware that I had now a resident ambassador at
the court of my lady。 The lion might be ill chiselled; it was
mine。 My hands had made and held it; my knife … or; to speak more
by the mark; my rusty nail … had traced those letters; and simple
as the words were; they would keep repeating to her that I was
grateful and that I found her fair。 The boy had looked like a
gawky; and blushed at a compliment; I could see besides that he
regarded me with considerable suspicion; yet he made so manly a
figure of a lad; that I could not withhold from him my sympathy。
And as for the impulse that had made her bring and introduce him; I
could not sufficiently admire it。 It seemed to me finer than wit;
and more tender than a caress。 It said (plain as language); 'I do
not and I cannot know you。 Here is my brother … you can know him;
this is the way to me … follow it。'
CHAPTER II … A TALE OF A PAIR OF SCISSORS
I WAS still plunged in these thoughts when the bell was rung that
discharged our visitors into the street。 Our little market was no
sooner closed than we were summoned to the distribution; and
received our rations; which we were then allowed to eat according
to fancy in any part of our quarters。
I have said the conduct of some of our visitors was unbearably
offensive; it was possibly m