第 22 节
作者:京文      更新:2024-09-15 09:12      字数:9322
  up till I knew something that no one but you can tell me。  You are not
  bound to any body unless you wish to be so。  That is what I see now; and
  I will not give you up if I can help it。  Even if you had made a promise;
  and then changed your mind; you would not be bound in such a thing as
  this。  I say this; and I know you will not believe I say it because I
  want you。  I do want you; but I would not urge you to break your faith。
  I only ask you to realize that if you kept your word when your heart had
  gone out of it; you would be breaking your faith; and if you broke your
  word you would be keeping your faith。  But if your heart is still in your
  word; I have no more to say。  Nobody knows but you。  I would get out and
  take the first train back to Venice if it were not for two things。  I
  know it would be hard on me; and I am afraid it might be hard on you。
  But if you will write me a line at Milan; when you get this; or if you
  will write to me at London before July; or at New York at any timefor I
  expect to wait as long as I live〃
  The letter ended here in the local addresses which the writer gave。
  Miss Milray handed the leaves back to Clementina; who put them into her
  pocket; and apparently waited for her questions。
  〃And have you written?〃
  〃No;〃 said the girl; slowly and thoughtfully; 〃I haven't。  I wanted to;
  at fust; and then; I thought that if he truly meant what he said he would
  be willing to wait。〃
  〃And why did you want to wait?〃
  Clementina replied with a question of her own。  〃Miss Milray; what do you
  think about Mr。 Gregory?〃
  〃Oh; you mustn't ask me that; my dear!  I was afraid I had told you too
  plainly; the last time。〃
  〃I don't mean about his letting me think he didn't ca'e for me; so long。
  But don't you think he wants to do what is right!  Mr。 Gregory; I mean。〃
  〃Well; if you put me on my honor; I'm afraid I do。〃
  〃You see;〃 Clementina resumed。  〃He was the fust one; and I did ca'e for
  him a great deal; and I might have gone on caring for him; if When I
  found out that I didn't care any longer; or so much; it seemed to me as
  if it must be wrong。  Do you think it was?〃
  〃No…no。〃
  〃When I got to thinking about some one else at fust it was only not
  thinking about himI was ashamed。  Then I tried to make out that I was
  too young in the fust place; to know whether I really ca'ed for any one
  in the right way; but after I made out that I was; I couldn't feel
  exactly easyand I've been wanting to ask you; Miss Milray〃
  〃Ask me anything you like; my dear!〃
  〃Why; it's only whether a person ought eva to change。〃
  〃We change whether we ought; or not。  It isn't a matter of duty; one way
  or another。〃
  〃Yes; but ought we to stop caring for somebody; when perhaps we shouldn't
  if somebody else hadn't come between?  That is the question。〃
  〃No;〃 Miss Milray retorted; 〃that isn't at all the question。  The
  question is which you want and whether you could get him。  Whichever you
  want most it is right for you to have。〃
  〃Do you truly think so?〃
  〃I do; indeed。  This is the one thing in life where one may choose safest
  what one likes best; I mean if there is nothing bad in the man himself。〃
  〃I was afraid it would be wrong!  That was what I meant by wanting to be
  fai'a with Mr。 Gregory when I told you about him there in Florence。  I
  don't believe but what it had begun then。〃
  〃What had begun?〃
  〃About Mr。 Hinkle。〃
  Miss Milray burst into a laugh。  〃Clementina; you're delicious!〃
  The girl looked hurt; and Miss Milray asked seriously; Why do you like
  Mr。 Hinkle bestif you do?〃
  Clementina sighed。  Oh; I don't know。  He's so resting。〃
  〃Then that settles it。  From first to last; what we poor women want is
  rest。  It would be a wicked thing for you to throw your life away on some
  one who would worry you out of it。  I don't wish to say any thing against
  Mr。 Gregory。  I dare say be is goodand conscientious; but life is a
  struggle; at the best; and it's your duty to take the best chance for
  resting。〃
  Clementina did not look altogether convinced; whether it was Miss
  Milray's logic or her morality that failed to convince her。  She said;
  after a moment; 〃I should like to see Mr。 Gregory again。〃
  〃What good would that do?〃
  〃Why; then I should know。〃
  〃Know what?〃
  〃Whether I didn't really ca'e for him any moreor so much。〃
  〃Clementina;〃 said Miss Milray; 〃you mustn't make me lose patience with
  you〃
  〃No。  But I thought you said that it was my duty to do what I wished。〃
  〃Well; yes。  That is what I said;〃 Miss Milray consented。  〃But I
  supposed that you knew already。〃
  〃No;〃 said Clementina; candidly; 〃I don't believe I do。〃
  〃And what if you don't see him?〃
  〃I guess I shall have to wait till I do。  The'e will be time enough。〃
  Miss Milray sighed; and then she laughed。  〃You ARE young!〃
  XXXII。
  Miss Milray went from Clementina to call upon her sister…in…law; and
  found her brother; which was perhaps what she hoped might happen。
  〃Do you know;〃 she said; 〃that that old wretch is going to defraud that
  poor thing; after all; and leave her money to her husband's half…sister's
  children?〃
  〃You wish me to infer the Mrs。 LanderClementina situation?〃  Milray
  returned。
  〃Yes!〃
  〃I'm glad you put it in terms that are not actionable; then; for your
  words are decidedly libellous。〃
  〃What do you mean?〃
  〃I've just been writing Mrs。 Lander's will for her; and she's left all
  her property to Clementina; except five thousand apiece to the half…
  sister's three children。〃
  〃I can't believe it!〃
  〃Well;〃 said Milray; with his gentle smile; 〃I think that's safe ground
  for you。  Mrs。 Lander will probably have time enough to change her will
  as well as her mind several times yet before she dies。  The half…sister's
  children may get their rights yet。〃
  〃I wish they might!〃 said Miss Milray; with an impassioned sigh。  〃Then
  perhaps I should get Clementinafor a while。〃
  Her brother laughed。  〃Isn't there somebody else wants Clementina?
  〃Oh; plenty。  But she's not sure she wants anybody else。〃
  〃Does she want you?〃
  〃No; I can't say she does。  She wants to go home。〃
  〃That's not a bad scheme。  I should like to go home myself if I had one。
  What would you have done with Clementina if you had got her; Jenny?〃
  〃What would any one have done with her?  Married her brilliantly; of
  course。〃
  〃But you say she isn't sure she wishes to be married at all?〃
  Miss Milray stated the case of Clementina's divided mind; and her belief
  that she would take Hinkle in the end; together with the fear that she
  might take Gregory。  〃She's very odd;〃 Miss Milray concluded。  〃She
  puzzles me。  Why did you ever send her to me?〃
  Milray laughed。  〃I don't know。  I thought she would amuse you; and I
  thought it would be a pleasure to her。〃
  They began to talk of some affairs of their own; from which Miss Milray
  returned to Clementina with the ache of an imperfectly satisfied
  intention。  If she had meant to urge her brother to seek justice for the
  girl from Mrs。 Lander; she was not so well pleased to have found justice
  done already。  But the will had been duly signed and witnessed before the
  American vice…consul; and she must get what good she could out of an
  accomplished fact。  It was at least a consolation to know that it put an
  end to her sister…in…law's patronage of the girl; and it would be
  interesting to see Mrs。 Milray adapt her behavior to Clementina's
  fortunes。  She did not really dislike her sister…in…law enough to do her
  a wrong; she was only willing that she should do herself a wrong。
  But one of the most disappointing things in all hostile operations is
  that you never can know what the enemy would be at; and Mrs。 Milray's
  manoevres were sometimes dictated by such impulses that her strategy was
  peculiarly baffling。  The thought of her past unkindness to Clementina
  may still have rankled in her; or she may simply have felt the need of
  outdoing Miss Milray by an unapproachable benefaction。  It is certain
  that when Baron Belsky came to Venice a few weeks after her own arrival;
  they began to pose at each other with reference to Clementina; she with
  a measure of consciousness; he with the singleness of a nature that was
  all pose。  In his forbearance to win Clementina from Gregory he had
  enjoyed the distinction of an unique suffering; and in allowing the fact
  to impart itself to Mrs。 Milray; he bathed in the warmth of her
  flattering sympathy。  Before she withdrew this; as she must when she got
  tired of him; she learned from him where Gregory was; for it seemed that
  Gregory had so far forgiven the past that they had again written to each
  other。
  During the fortnight of Belsky's stay in Venice Mrs。 Lander was much
  worse; and Clementina met him only once; very briefly She felt that he
  had behaved like a very silly person; but that was all over now; and she
  had no wish to punish him for it。  At the end of his fortnight he went
  northward into the Austrian Tyrol; and a few days later Gregory came down
  from the Dolomites to Venice。
  It was in his favor with Clementina that he yielded to the impulse he had
  to come directly to her; and that he let her know with the first words
  that he had acted upon hopes giv