第 19 节
作者:京文      更新:2024-09-15 09:12      字数:9321
  others; in excursions which were more or less perfunctory; and were
  merely in the way of illustration or instance。  She got so far in one of
  these as to speak of her family; and he seemed to understand them。  He
  asked about them all; and he said he believed in her father's unworldly
  theory of life。  He asked her if they thought at home that she was like
  her father; and he added; as if it followed; 〃I'm the worldling of my
  family。  I was the youngest child; and the only boy in a flock of girls。
  That always spoils a boy。〃
  〃Are you spoiled?〃  she asked。
  〃Well; I'm afraid they'd be surprised if I didn't come to grief somehow
  all butmother; she expects I'll be kept from harm。〃
  〃Is she religious?〃
  〃Yes;〃 she's a Moravian。  Did you ever hear of them?  〃Clementina shook
  her head。  〃They're something; like the Quakers; and something like the
  Methodists。  They don't believe in war; but they have bishops。〃
  And do you belong to her church?
  No;〃 said the young man。  〃I wish I did; for her sake。  I don't belong to
  any。  Do you?〃
  〃No; I go to the Episcopal; at home。  Perhaps I shall belong sometime。
  But I think that is something everyone must do for themselves。〃  He
  looked a little alarmed at the note of severity in her voice; and she
  explained。  〃I mean that if you try to be religious for anything besides
  religion; it isn't being religious;and no one else has any right to ask
  you to be。〃
  〃Oh; that's what I believe; too;〃 be said; with comic relief。  〃I didn't
  know but I'd been trying to convert you without knowing it。〃  They both
  laughed; and were then rather seriously silent。
  He asked; after a moment; in a fresh beginning; 〃Have you heard from Miss
  Milray since you left Florence?〃
  〃Oh; yes; didn't I tell you?  She's coming here in June。〃
  〃Well; she won't have the pleasure of seeing me; then。  I'm going the
  last of May。〃
  〃I thought you were going to stay a month!〃 she protested。
  〃That will be a month; and more; too。〃
  〃So it will;〃 she owned。
  〃I'm glad it doesn't seem any longer…say a yearMiss Clementina!〃
  〃Oh; not at all;〃 she returned。  〃Miss Milray's brother and his wife are
  coming with her。  They've been in Egypt。〃
  〃I never saw them;〃 said Hinkle。  He paused; before he added; 〃Well; it
  would seem rather crowded after they get here; I suppose;〃 and he
  laughed; while Clementina said nothing。
  XXX。
  Hinkle came every morning now; to smoothe out the doubts and difficulties
  that had accumulated in Mrs。 Lander's mind over night; and incidentally
  to propose some pleasure for Clementina; who could feel that he was
  pitying her in her slavery to the sick woman's whims; and yet somehow
  entreating her to bear them。  He saw them together in what Mrs。 Lander
  called her well days; but there were other days when he saw Clementina
  alone; and then she brought him word from Mrs。 Lander; and reported his
  talk to her after he went away。  On one of these she sent him a
  cheerfuller message than usual; and charged the girl to explain that she
  was ever so much better; but had not got up because she felt that every
  minute in bed was doing her good。  Clementina carried back his regrets
  and congratulation; and then told Mrs。 Lander that he had asked her to go
  out with him to see a church; which he was sorry Mrs。 Lander could not
  see too。  He professed to be very particular about his churches; for he
  said he had noticed that they neither of them had any great gift for
  sights; and he had it on his conscience to get the best for them。  He
  told Clementina that the church he had for them now could not be better
  if it had been built expressly for them; instead of having been used as a
  place of worship for eight or ten generations of Venetians before they
  came。  She gave his invitation to Mrs。 Lander; who could not always be
  trusted with his jokes; and she received it in the best part。
  〃Well; you go!〃 she said。  〃Maddalena can look after me; I guess。  He's
  the only one of the fellas; except that lo'd; that I'd give a cent for。〃
  She added; with a sudden lapse from her pleasure in Hinkle to her
  severity with Clementina; 〃But you want to be ca'eful what you' doin'。〃
  〃Ca'eful?〃
  〃Yes! About Mr。 Hinkle。  I a'n't agoin' to have you lead him on; and
  then say you didn't know where he was goin'。  I can't keep runnin' away
  everywhe'e; fo' you; the way I done at Woodlake。〃
  Clementina's heart gave a leap; whether joyful or woeful; but she
  answered indignantly; 〃How can you say such a thing to me; Mrs。 Lander。
  I'm not leading him on!〃
  〃I don't know what you call it。  You're round with him in the gondoler;
  night and day; and when he's he'e; you'a settin' with him half the time
  on the balcony; and it's talk; talk; the whole while。〃  Clementina took
  in the fact with silent recognition; and Mrs。 Lander went on。  〃I ain't
  sayin' anything against it。  He's the only one I don't believe is afta
  the money he thinks you'a goin' to have; but if you don't want him; you
  want to look what you're about。〃
  The girl returned to Hinkle in the embarrassment which she was helpless
  to hide; and without the excuse which she could not invent for refusing
  to go with him。  〃Is Mrs。 Lander worseor anything?〃 he asked。
  〃Oh; no。  She's quite well;〃 said Clementina; but she left it for him to
  break the constraint in which they set out。  He tried to do so at
  different points; but it seemed to close upon themthe more inflexibly。
  At last he asked; as they were drawing near the church; 〃Have you ever
  seen anything of Mr。 Belsky since you left Florence?〃
  〃No;〃 she said; with a nervous start。  〃What makes you ask?〃
  〃I don't know。  But you see nearly everybody again that you meet in your
  travels。  That friend of histhat Mr。 Gregoryhe seems to have dropped
  out; too。  I believe you told me you used to know him in America。〃
  〃Yes;〃 she answered; briefly; she could not say more; and Hinkle went on。
  〃It seemed to me; that as far as I could make him out; he was about as
  much of a crank in his way as the Russian。  It's curious; but when you
  were talking about religion; the other day; you made me think of him!〃
  The blood went to Clementina's heart。  〃I don't suppose you had him in
  mind; but what you said fitted him more than anyone I know of。  I could
  have almost believed that he had been trying to convert you!〃 She stared
  at him; and he laughed。  〃He tackled me one day there in Florence all of
  a sudden; and I didn't know what to say; exactly。  Of course; I respected
  his earnestness; but I couldn't accept his view of things and I tried to
  tell him so。  I had to say just where I stood; and why; and I mentioned
  some books that helped to get me there。  He said he never read anything
  that went counter to his faith; and I saw that he didn't want to save me;
  so much as be wanted to convince me。  He didn't know it; and I didn't
  tell him that I knew it; but I got him to let me drop the subject。  He
  seems to have been left over from a time when people didn't reason about
  their beliefs; but only argued。  I didn't think there was a man like that
  to be found so late in the century; especially a young man。  But that was
  just where I was mistaken。  If there was to be a man of that kind at all;
  it would have to be a young one。  He'll be a good deal opener…minded when
  he's older。  He was conscientious; I could see that; and he did take the
  Russian's death to heart as long as he was dead。  But I'd like to talk
  with him ten years from now; he wouldn't be where he is。〃
  Clementina was still silent; and she walked up the church steps from the
  gondola without the power to speak。  She made no show of interest in the
  pictures and statues; she never had really cared much for such things;
  and now his attempts to make her look at them failed miserably。  When
  they got back again into the boat he began; 〃Miss Clementina; I'm afraid
  I oughtn't to have spoken as I did of that Mr。 Gregory。  If he is a
  friend of yours〃
  〃He is;〃 she made herself answer。
  〃I didn't mean anything against him。  I hope you don't think I wanted to
  be unfair?〃
  〃You were not unfair。  But I oughtn't to have let you say it; Mr。 Hinkle。
  I want to tell you something I mean; I must〃She found herself panting
  and breathless。  〃You ought to know itMr。 Gregory isI mean we are〃
  She stopped and she saw that she need not say more。
  In the days that followed before the time that Hinkle had xed to leave
  Venice; he tried to come as he had been coming; to see Mrs。 Lander; but
  he evaded her when she wished to send him out with Clementina。  His
  quaintness had a heartache in it for her; and he was boyishly simple in
  his failure to hide his suffering。  He had no explicit right to suffer;
  for he had asked nothing and been denied nothing; but perhaps for this
  reason she suffered the more keenly for him。
  A senseless resentment against Gregory for spoiling their happiness crept
  into her heart; and she wished to show Hinkle how much she valued his
  friendship at any risk and any cost。  When this led her too far she took
  herself to task with a severity which hurt him too。  In the midst of the
  impulses on which she acted; there were times when she had a confused
  longing to appeal to him for counsel as to how she o