第 19 节
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京文 更新:2024-09-15 09:12 字数:9321
others; in excursions which were more or less perfunctory; and were
merely in the way of illustration or instance。 She got so far in one of
these as to speak of her family; and he seemed to understand them。 He
asked about them all; and he said he believed in her father's unworldly
theory of life。 He asked her if they thought at home that she was like
her father; and he added; as if it followed; 〃I'm the worldling of my
family。 I was the youngest child; and the only boy in a flock of girls。
That always spoils a boy。〃
〃Are you spoiled?〃 she asked。
〃Well; I'm afraid they'd be surprised if I didn't come to grief somehow
all butmother; she expects I'll be kept from harm。〃
〃Is she religious?〃
〃Yes;〃 she's a Moravian。 Did you ever hear of them? 〃Clementina shook
her head。 〃They're something; like the Quakers; and something like the
Methodists。 They don't believe in war; but they have bishops。〃
And do you belong to her church?
No;〃 said the young man。 〃I wish I did; for her sake。 I don't belong to
any。 Do you?〃
〃No; I go to the Episcopal; at home。 Perhaps I shall belong sometime。
But I think that is something everyone must do for themselves。〃 He
looked a little alarmed at the note of severity in her voice; and she
explained。 〃I mean that if you try to be religious for anything besides
religion; it isn't being religious;and no one else has any right to ask
you to be。〃
〃Oh; that's what I believe; too;〃 be said; with comic relief。 〃I didn't
know but I'd been trying to convert you without knowing it。〃 They both
laughed; and were then rather seriously silent。
He asked; after a moment; in a fresh beginning; 〃Have you heard from Miss
Milray since you left Florence?〃
〃Oh; yes; didn't I tell you? She's coming here in June。〃
〃Well; she won't have the pleasure of seeing me; then。 I'm going the
last of May。〃
〃I thought you were going to stay a month!〃 she protested。
〃That will be a month; and more; too。〃
〃So it will;〃 she owned。
〃I'm glad it doesn't seem any longer…say a yearMiss Clementina!〃
〃Oh; not at all;〃 she returned。 〃Miss Milray's brother and his wife are
coming with her。 They've been in Egypt。〃
〃I never saw them;〃 said Hinkle。 He paused; before he added; 〃Well; it
would seem rather crowded after they get here; I suppose;〃 and he
laughed; while Clementina said nothing。
XXX。
Hinkle came every morning now; to smoothe out the doubts and difficulties
that had accumulated in Mrs。 Lander's mind over night; and incidentally
to propose some pleasure for Clementina; who could feel that he was
pitying her in her slavery to the sick woman's whims; and yet somehow
entreating her to bear them。 He saw them together in what Mrs。 Lander
called her well days; but there were other days when he saw Clementina
alone; and then she brought him word from Mrs。 Lander; and reported his
talk to her after he went away。 On one of these she sent him a
cheerfuller message than usual; and charged the girl to explain that she
was ever so much better; but had not got up because she felt that every
minute in bed was doing her good。 Clementina carried back his regrets
and congratulation; and then told Mrs。 Lander that he had asked her to go
out with him to see a church; which he was sorry Mrs。 Lander could not
see too。 He professed to be very particular about his churches; for he
said he had noticed that they neither of them had any great gift for
sights; and he had it on his conscience to get the best for them。 He
told Clementina that the church he had for them now could not be better
if it had been built expressly for them; instead of having been used as a
place of worship for eight or ten generations of Venetians before they
came。 She gave his invitation to Mrs。 Lander; who could not always be
trusted with his jokes; and she received it in the best part。
〃Well; you go!〃 she said。 〃Maddalena can look after me; I guess。 He's
the only one of the fellas; except that lo'd; that I'd give a cent for。〃
She added; with a sudden lapse from her pleasure in Hinkle to her
severity with Clementina; 〃But you want to be ca'eful what you' doin'。〃
〃Ca'eful?〃
〃Yes! About Mr。 Hinkle。 I a'n't agoin' to have you lead him on; and
then say you didn't know where he was goin'。 I can't keep runnin' away
everywhe'e; fo' you; the way I done at Woodlake。〃
Clementina's heart gave a leap; whether joyful or woeful; but she
answered indignantly; 〃How can you say such a thing to me; Mrs。 Lander。
I'm not leading him on!〃
〃I don't know what you call it。 You're round with him in the gondoler;
night and day; and when he's he'e; you'a settin' with him half the time
on the balcony; and it's talk; talk; the whole while。〃 Clementina took
in the fact with silent recognition; and Mrs。 Lander went on。 〃I ain't
sayin' anything against it。 He's the only one I don't believe is afta
the money he thinks you'a goin' to have; but if you don't want him; you
want to look what you're about。〃
The girl returned to Hinkle in the embarrassment which she was helpless
to hide; and without the excuse which she could not invent for refusing
to go with him。 〃Is Mrs。 Lander worseor anything?〃 he asked。
〃Oh; no。 She's quite well;〃 said Clementina; but she left it for him to
break the constraint in which they set out。 He tried to do so at
different points; but it seemed to close upon themthe more inflexibly。
At last he asked; as they were drawing near the church; 〃Have you ever
seen anything of Mr。 Belsky since you left Florence?〃
〃No;〃 she said; with a nervous start。 〃What makes you ask?〃
〃I don't know。 But you see nearly everybody again that you meet in your
travels。 That friend of histhat Mr。 Gregoryhe seems to have dropped
out; too。 I believe you told me you used to know him in America。〃
〃Yes;〃 she answered; briefly; she could not say more; and Hinkle went on。
〃It seemed to me; that as far as I could make him out; he was about as
much of a crank in his way as the Russian。 It's curious; but when you
were talking about religion; the other day; you made me think of him!〃
The blood went to Clementina's heart。 〃I don't suppose you had him in
mind; but what you said fitted him more than anyone I know of。 I could
have almost believed that he had been trying to convert you!〃 She stared
at him; and he laughed。 〃He tackled me one day there in Florence all of
a sudden; and I didn't know what to say; exactly。 Of course; I respected
his earnestness; but I couldn't accept his view of things and I tried to
tell him so。 I had to say just where I stood; and why; and I mentioned
some books that helped to get me there。 He said he never read anything
that went counter to his faith; and I saw that he didn't want to save me;
so much as be wanted to convince me。 He didn't know it; and I didn't
tell him that I knew it; but I got him to let me drop the subject。 He
seems to have been left over from a time when people didn't reason about
their beliefs; but only argued。 I didn't think there was a man like that
to be found so late in the century; especially a young man。 But that was
just where I was mistaken。 If there was to be a man of that kind at all;
it would have to be a young one。 He'll be a good deal opener…minded when
he's older。 He was conscientious; I could see that; and he did take the
Russian's death to heart as long as he was dead。 But I'd like to talk
with him ten years from now; he wouldn't be where he is。〃
Clementina was still silent; and she walked up the church steps from the
gondola without the power to speak。 She made no show of interest in the
pictures and statues; she never had really cared much for such things;
and now his attempts to make her look at them failed miserably。 When
they got back again into the boat he began; 〃Miss Clementina; I'm afraid
I oughtn't to have spoken as I did of that Mr。 Gregory。 If he is a
friend of yours〃
〃He is;〃 she made herself answer。
〃I didn't mean anything against him。 I hope you don't think I wanted to
be unfair?〃
〃You were not unfair。 But I oughtn't to have let you say it; Mr。 Hinkle。
I want to tell you something I mean; I must〃She found herself panting
and breathless。 〃You ought to know itMr。 Gregory isI mean we are〃
She stopped and she saw that she need not say more。
In the days that followed before the time that Hinkle had xed to leave
Venice; he tried to come as he had been coming; to see Mrs。 Lander; but
he evaded her when she wished to send him out with Clementina。 His
quaintness had a heartache in it for her; and he was boyishly simple in
his failure to hide his suffering。 He had no explicit right to suffer;
for he had asked nothing and been denied nothing; but perhaps for this
reason she suffered the more keenly for him。
A senseless resentment against Gregory for spoiling their happiness crept
into her heart; and she wished to show Hinkle how much she valued his
friendship at any risk and any cost。 When this led her too far she took
herself to task with a severity which hurt him too。 In the midst of the
impulses on which she acted; there were times when she had a confused
longing to appeal to him for counsel as to how she o