第 12 节
作者:
京文 更新:2024-09-15 09:12 字数:9321
because I think you can understand; and will know what to advise; what to
do。〃
He turned upon his heel; and walked the length of the room and back
before he spoke again。
〃Since several years;〃 he said; growing a little less idiomatic in his
English as his excitement mounted; 〃he met a young girl; a child; when he
was still not a man's full age。 It was in the country; in the mountains
of America; andhe loved her。 Both were very poor; he; a student;
earning the means to complete his education in the university。 He had
dedicated himself to his church; and with the temperament of the
Puritans; he forbade himself all thoughts of love。 But he was of a
passionate and impulsive nature; and in a moment of abandon he confessed
his love。 The child was bewildered; frightened; she shrank from his
avowal; and he; filled with remorse for his self…betrayal; bade her let
it be as if it had not been; he bade her think of him no more。〃
Clementina sat as if powerless to move; staring at Belsky。 He paused in
his walk; and allowed an impressive silence to ensue upon his words。
〃Time passed: days; months; years; and he did not see her again。 He
pursued his studies in the university; at their completion; he entered
upon the course of divinity; and he is soon to be a minister of his
church。 In all that time the image of the young girl has remained in his
heart; and has held him true to the only love he has ever known。 He will
know no other while he lives。〃
Again he stopped in front of Clementina; she looked helplessly up at him;
and he resumed his walk。
〃He; with his dreams of renunciation; of abnegation; had thought some day
to return to her and ask her to be his。 He believed her capable of equal
sacrifice with himself; and he hoped to win her not for himself alone;
but for the religion which he put before himself。 He would have invited
her to join her fate with his that they might go together on some mission
to the paganin the South Seas; in the heart of Africa; in the jungle of
India。 He had always thought of her as gay but good; unworldly in soul;
and exalted in spirit。 She has remained with him a vision of angelic
loveliness; as he had seen her last in the moonlight; on the banks of a
mountain torrent。 But he believes that he has disgraced himself before
her; that the very scruple for her youth; her ignorance; which made him
entreat her to forget him; must have made her doubt and despise him。 He
has never had the courage to write to her one word since all those years;
but he maintains himself bound to her forever。〃 He stopped short before
Clementina and seized her hands。 〃If you knew such a girl; what would
you have her do? Should she bid him hope again? Would you have her say
to him that she; too; had been faithful to their dream; and that she
too〃
〃Let me go; Mr。 Belsky; let me go; I say!〃 Clementina wrenched her hands
from him; and ran out of the room。 Belsky hesitated; then he found his
hat; and after a glance at his face in the mirror; left the house。
XXIV。
The tide of travel began to set northward in April。 Many English; many
Americans appeared in Florence from Naples and Rome; many who had
wintered in Florence went on to Venice and the towns of northern Italy;
on their way to Switzerland and France and Germany。
The spring was cold and rainy; and the irresolute Italian railroads were
interrupted by the floods。 A tawny deluge rolled down from the mountains
through the bed of the Arno; and kept the Florentine fire…department on
the alert night and day。 〃It is a curious thing about this country;〃
said Mr。 Hinkle; encountering Baron Belsky on the Ponte Trinita; 〃that
the only thing they ever have here for a fire company to put out is a
freshet。 If they had a real conflagration once; I reckon they would want
to bring their life…preservers。〃
The Russian was looking down over the parapet at the boiling river。 He
lifted his head as if he had not heard the American; and stared at him a
moment before he spoke。 It is said that the railway to Rome is broken at
Grossetto。〃
〃Well; I'm not going to Rome;〃 said Hinkle; easily。 〃Are you?〃
〃I was to meet a friend there; but he wrote to me that be was starting to
Florence; and now〃
〃He's resting on the way? Well; he'll get here about as quick as he
would in the ordinary course of travel。 One good thing about Italy is;
you don't want to hurry; if you did; you'd get left。〃
Belsky stared at him in the stupefaction to which the American humor
commonly reduced him。 〃If he gets left on the Grossetto line; he can go
back and come up by Orvieto; no?〃
〃He can; if he isn't in a hurry;〃 Hinkle assented。
〃It's a good way; if you've got time to burn。〃
Belsky did not attempt to explore the American's meaning。 〃Do you know;〃
he asked; 〃whether Mrs。 Lander and her young friend are still in
Florence?
〃I guess they are。〃
〃It was said they were going to Venice for the summer。〃
〃That's what the doctor advised for the old lady。 But they don't start
for a week or two yet。〃
〃Oh!〃
〃Are you going to Miss Milray's; Sunday night? Last of the season; I
believe。〃
Belsky seemed to recall himself from a distance。
〃Nono;〃 he said; and he moved away; forgetful of the ceremonious
salutation which he commonly used at meeting and parting。 Hinkle looked
after him with the impression people have of a difference in the
appearance and behavior of some one whose appearance and behavior do not
particularly concern them。
The day that followed; Belsky haunted the hotel where Gregory was to
arrive with his pupil; and where the pupil's family were waiting for
them。 That night; long after their belated train was due; they came; the
pupil was with his father and mother; and Gregory was alone; when Belsky
asked for him; the fourth or fifth time。
〃You are not well;〃 he said; as they shook bands。 You are fevered!〃
〃I'm tired;〃 said Gregory。 〃We've bad a bad time getting through。〃
〃I come inconveniently! You have not dined; perhaps?〃
〃Yes; Yes。 I've had dinner。 Sit down。 How have you been yourself?〃
〃Oh; always well。〃 Belsky sat down; and the friends stared at each
other。 〃I have strange news for you。〃
〃For me?〃
〃You。 She is here。〃
〃She?〃
Yes。 The young girl of whom you told me。 If I had not forbidden myself
by my loyalty to youif I had not said to myself every moment in her
presence; 'No; it is for your friend alone that she is beautiful and
good!'But you will have nothing to reproach me in that regard。〃
〃What do you mean?〃 demanded Gregory。
〃I mean that Miss Claxon is in Florence; with her protectress; the rich
Mrs。 Lander。 The most admired young lady in society; going everywhere;
and everywhere courted and welcomed; the favorite of the fashionable Miss
Milray。 But why should this surprise you?〃
〃You said nothing about it in your letters。 You〃
〃I was not sure it was she; you never told me her name。 When I had
divined the fact; I was so soon to see you; that I thought best to keep
it till we met。〃
Gregory tried to speak; but he let Belsky go on。
〃If you think that the world has spoiled her; that she will be different
from what she was in her home among your mountains; let me reassure you。
In her you will find the miracle of a woman whom no flattery can turn the
head。 I have watched her in your interest; I have tested her。 She is
what you saw her last。〃
〃Surely;〃 asked Gregory; in an anguish for what he now dreaded; 〃you
haven't spoken to her of me?〃
〃Not by name; no。 I could not have that indiscretion〃
〃The name is nothing。 Have you said that you knew me Of course not!
But have you hinted at any knowledge Because〃
〃You will hear!〃 said Belsky; and he poured out upon Gregory the story of
what he had done。 〃She did not deny anything。 She was greatly moved;
but she did not refuse to let me bid you hope〃
〃Oh!〃 Gregory took his head between his hands。 〃You have spoiled my
life!〃
〃Spoiled〃 Belsky stopped aghast。
〃I told you my story in a moment of despicable weaknessof impulsive
folly。 But how could I dream that you would ever meet her? How could I
imagine that you would speak to her as you have done?〃 He groaned; and
began to creep giddily about the room in his misery。 〃Oh; oh; oh!
What shall I do?〃
〃But I do not understand!〃 Belsky began。 〃If I have committed an error〃
〃Oh; an error that never could be put right in all eternity!〃
〃Then let me go to herlet me tell her〃
〃Keep away from her!〃 shouted Gregory。 〃Do you hear? Never go near her
again!〃
〃Gregory!〃
〃Ah; I beg your pardon! I don't know what I'm doing…saying。 What will
she thinkwhat will she think of me!〃 He had ceased to speak to Belsky;
he collapsed into a chair; and hid his face in his arms stretched out on
the table before him。
Belsky watched him in the stupefaction which the artistic nature feels
when life proves sentient under its hand; and not the mere material of
situations and effects。 He could not conceive the full measure of the
disaster he had wrought; the outrage of his own behavior had been lost to
him in his preoccupation with the romantic end to be accomplished。 He
had