第 20 节
作者:
辛苦 更新:2024-09-08 23:53 字数:9322
action; Clarence was possessed of an invincible loyalty of
principle; and that; asking no sentimental affection; and indeed
yielding none; he was; without presuming on his relationship;
devoted to his cousin's interest。 It seemed that from being a
glancing ray of sunshine in the house; evasive but never obtrusive;
he had become a daily necessity of comfort and security to his
benefactor。
Clarence was; however; astonished; when; one morning; Don Juan;
with the same embarrassed manner he had shown at their first
meeting; suddenly asked him; 〃what business he expected to follow。〃
It seemed the more singular; as the speaker; like most abstracted
men; had hitherto always studiously ignored the future; in their
daily intercourse。 Yet this might have been either the habit of
security or the caution of doubt。 Whatever it was; it was some
sudden disturbance of Don Juan's equanimity; as disconcerting to
himself as it was to Clarence。 So conscious was the boy of this
that; without replying to his cousin's question; but striving in
vain to recall some delinquency of his own; he asked; with his
usual boyish directness
〃Has anything happened? Have I done anything wrong?〃
〃No; no;〃 returned Don Juan hurriedly。 〃But; you see; it's time
that you should think of your futureor at least prepare for it。
I mean you ought to have some more regular education。 You will
have to go to school。 It's too bad;〃 he added fretfully; with a
certain impatient forgetfulness of Clarence's presence; and as if
following his own thought。 〃Just as you are becoming of service to
me; and justifying your ridiculous position hereand all this dd
nonsense that's gone beforeI mean; of course; Clarence;〃 he
interrupted himself; catching sight of the boy's whitening cheek
and darkening eye; 〃I mean; you knowthis ridiculousness of my
keeping you from school at your age; and trying to teach you
myselfdon't you see。〃
〃You think it isridiculous;〃 repeated Clarence; with dogged
persistency。
〃I mean I am ridiculous;〃 said Don Juan hastily。 〃There! there!
let's say no more about it。 To…morrow we'll ride over to San Jose
and see the Father Secretary at the Jesuits' College about your
entering at once。 It's a good school; and you'll always be near
the rancho!〃 And so the interview ended。
I am afraid that Clarence's first idea was to run away。 There are
few experiences more crushing to an ingenuous nature than the
sudden revelation of the aspect in which it is regarded by others。
The unfortunate Clarence; conscious only of his loyalty to his
cousin's interest and what he believed were the duties of his
position; awoke to find that position 〃ridiculous。〃 In an
afternoon's gloomy ride through the lonely hills; and later in the
sleepless solitude of his room at night; he concluded that his
cousin was right。 He would go to school; he would study hardso
hard that in a little; a very little while; he could make a living
for himself。 He awoke contented。 It was the blessing of youth
that this resolve and execution seemed as one and the same thing。
The next day found him installed as a pupil and boarder in the
college。 Don Juan's position and Spanish predilections naturally
made his relation acceptable to the faculty; but Clarence could not
help perceiving that Father Sobriente; the Principal; regarded him
at times with a thoughtful curiosity that made him suspect that his
cousin had especially bespoken that attention; and that he
occasionally questioned him on his antecedents in a way that made
him dread a renewal of the old questioning about his progenitor。
For the rest; he was a polished; cultivated man; yet; in the
characteristic; material criticism of youth; I am afraid that
Clarence chiefly identified him as a priest with large hands; whose
soft palms seemed to be cushioned with kindness; and whose equally
large feet; encased in extraordinary shapeless shoes of undyed
leather; seemed to tread down noiselesslyrather than to
ostentatiously crushthe obstacles that beset the path of the
young student。 In the cloistered galleries of the court…yard
Clarence sometimes felt himself borne down by the protecting weight
of this paternal hand; in the midnight silence of the dormitory he
fancied he was often conscious of the soft browsing tread and
snuffly muffled breathing of his elephantine…footed mentor。
His relations with his school…fellows were at first far from
pleasant。 Whether they suspected favoritism; whether they resented
that old and unsympathetic manner which sprang from his habits of
association with his elders; or whether they rested their
objections on the broader grounds of his being a stranger; I do not
know; but they presently passed from cruel sneers to physical
opposition。 It was then found that this gentle and reserved youth
had retained certain objectionable; rude; direct; rustic qualities
of fist and foot; and that; violating all rules and disdaining the
pomp and circumstance of school…boy warfare; of which he knew
nothing; he simply thrashed a few of his equals out of hand; with
or without ceremony; as the occasion or the insult happened。 In
this emergency one of the seniors was selected to teach this
youthful savage his proper position。 A challenge was given; and
accepted by Clarence with a feverish alacrity that surprised
himself as much as his adversary。 This was a youth of eighteen;
his superior in size and skill。
The first blow bathed Clarence's face in his own blood。 But the
sanguinary chrism; to the alarm of the spectators; effected an
instantaneous and unhallowed change in the boy。 Instantly closing
with his adversary; he sprang at his throat like an animal; and
locking his arm around his neck began to strangle him。 Blind to
the blows that rained upon him; he eventually bore his staggering
enemy by sheer onset and surprise to the earth。 Amidst the general
alarm; the strength of half a dozen hastily summoned teachers was
necessary to unlock his hold。 Even then he struggled to renew the
conflict。 But his adversary had disappeared; and from that day
forward Clarence was never again molested。
Seated before Father Sobriente in the infirmary; with swollen and
bandaged face; and eyes that still seemed to see everything in the
murky light of his own blood; Clarence felt the soft weight of the
father's hand upon his knee。
〃My son;〃 said the priest gently; 〃you are not of our religion; or
I should claim as a right to ask a question of your own heart at
this moment。 But as to a good friend; Claro; a good friend;〃 he
continued; patting the boy's knee; 〃you will tell me; old Father
Sobriente; frankly and truthfully; as is your habit; one little
thing。 Were you not afraid?〃
〃No;〃 said Clarence doggedly。 〃I'll lick him again to…morrow。〃
〃Softly; my son! It was not of HIM I speak; but of something more
terrible and awful。 Were you not afraid ofof〃 he paused; and
suddenly darting his clear eyes into the very depths of Clarence's
soul; added〃of YOURSELF?〃
The boy started; shuddered; and burst into tears。
〃So; so;〃 said the priest gently; 〃we have found our real enemy。
Good! Now; by the grace of God; my little warrior; we shall fight
HIM and conquer。〃
Whether Clarence profited by this lesson; or whether this brief
exhibition of his quality prevented any repetition of the cause;
the episode was soon forgotten。 As his school…fellows had never
been his associates or confidants; it mattered little to him
whether they feared or respected him; or were hypocritically
obsequious; after the fashion of the weaker。 His studies; at all
events; profited by this lack of distraction。 Already his two
years of desultory and omnivorous reading had given him a facile
familiarity with many things; which left him utterly free of the
timidity; awkwardness; or non…interest of a beginner。 His usually
reserved manner; which had been lack of expression rather than of
conviction; had deceived his tutors。 The audacity of a mind that
had never been dominated by others; and owed no allegiance to
precedent; made his merely superficial progress something
marvelous。
At the end of the first year he was a phenomenal scholar; who
seemed capable of anything。 Nevertheless; Father Sobriente had an
interview with Don Juan; and as a result Clarence was slightly kept
back in his studies; a little more freedom from the rules was
conceded to him; and he was even encouraged to take some diversion。
Of such was the privilege to visit the neighboring town of Santa
Clara unrestricted and unattended。 He had always been liberally
furnished with pocket…money; for which; in his companionless state
and Spartan habits; he had a singular and unboyish contempt。
Nevertheless; he always appeared dressed with scrupulous neatness;
and was rather distinguished…looking in his older reserve and
melancholy self…reliance。
Lounging one afternoon along the Alameda; a leafy avenue set out by
the early Mission Fathers between the village of San Jose and the
convent of Santa Clara; he saw a double file of young girls from
the convent approaching; on their usual promenade。 A view of this
procession being the fondest ambition of the San Jose colle