第 17 节
作者:莫再讲      更新:2024-08-29 08:48      字数:9321
  mortified herself by remaining on her knees; her arms outstretched for
  hours; and repeating prayers all the time。 She had compelled Mariette
  to similar sets of repentance; her passion was mingled with genuine
  asceticism; and was all the more dangerous。
  〃Shall I read that letter; shall I not?〃 she asked herself; while
  listening to the Chavoncourt girls。 One was sixteen; the other
  seventeen and a half。 Rosalie looked upon her two friends as mere
  children because they were not secretly in love。〃If I read it;〃 she
  finally decided; after hesitating for an hour between Yes and No; 〃it
  shall; at any rate; be the last。 Since I have gone so far as to see
  what he wrote to his friend; why should I not know what he says to
  /her/? If it is a horrible crime; is it not a proof of love? Oh;
  Albert! am I not your wife?〃
  When Rosalie was in bed she opened the letter; dated from day to day;
  so as to give the Duchess a faithful picture of Albert's life and
  feelings。
  〃25th。
  〃My dear Soul; all is well。 To my other conquests I have just
  added an invaluable one: I have done a service to one of the most
  influential men who work the elections。 Like the critics; who make
  other men's reputations but can never make their own; he makes
  deputies though he never can become one。 The worthy man wanted to
  show his gratitude without loosening his purse…strings by saying
  to me; 'Would you care to sit in the Chamber? I can get you
  returned as deputy。'
  〃 'If I ever make up my mind to enter on a political career;'
  replied I hypocritically; 'it would be to devote myself to the
  Comte; which I love; and where I am appreciated。'
  〃 'Well;' he said; 'we will persuade you; and through you we shall
  have weight in the Chamber; for you will distinguish yourself
  there。'
  〃And so; my beloved angel; say what you will; my perseverance will
  be rewarded。 Ere long I shall; from the high place of the French
  Tribune; come before my country; before Europe。 My name will be
  flung to you by the hundred voices of the French press。
  〃Yes; as you tell me; I was old when I came to Besancon; and
  Besancon has aged me more; but; like Sixtus V。; I shall be young
  again the day after my election。 I shall enter on my true life; my
  own sphere。 Shall we not then stand in the same line? Count
  Savaron de Savarus; Ambassador I know not where; may surely marry
  a Princess Soderini; the widow of the Duc d'Argaiolo! Triumph
  restores the youth of men who have been preserved by incessant
  struggles。 Oh; my Life! with what gladness did I fly from my
  library to my private room; to tell your portrait of this progress
  before writing to you! Yes; the votes I can command; those of the
  Vicar…General; of the persons I can oblige; and of this client;
  make my election already sure。
  〃26th。
  〃We have entered on the twelfth year since that blest evening
  when; by a look; the beautiful Duchess sealed the promises made by
  the exile Francesca。 You; dear; are thirty…two; I am thirty…five;
  the dear Duke is seventy…seventhat is to say; ten years more
  than yours and mine put together; and he still keeps well! My
  patience is almost as great as my love; and indeed I need a few
  years yet to rise to the level of your name。 As you see; I am in
  good spirits to…day; I can laugh; that is the effect of hope。
  Sadness or gladness; it all comes to me through you。 The hope of
  success always carries me back to the day following that one on
  which I saw you for the first time; when my life became one with
  yours as the earth turns to the light。 /Qual pianto/ are these
  eleven years; for this is the 26th of December; the anniversary of
  my arrival at your villa on the Lake of Geneva。 For eleven years
  have I been crying to you; while you shine like a star set too
  high for man to reach it。
  〃27th。
  〃No; dearest; do not go to Milan; stay at Belgirate。 Milan
  terrifies me。 I do not like that odious Milanese fashion of
  chatting at the Scala every evening with a dozen persons; among
  whom it is hard if no one says something sweet。 To me solitude is
  like the lump of amber in whose heart an insect lives for ever in
  unchanging beauty。 Thus the heart and soul of a woman remains pure
  and unaltered in the form of their first youth。 Is it the
  /Tedeschi/ that you regret?
  〃28th。
  〃Is your statue never to be finished? I should wish to have you in
  marble; in painting; in miniature; in every possible form; to
  beguile my impatience。 I still am waiting for the view of
  Belgirate from the south; and that of the balcony; these are all
  that I now lack。 I am so extremely busy that to…day I can only
  write you nothingbut that nothing is everything。 Was it not of
  nothing that God made the world? That nothing is a word; God's
  word: I love you!
  〃30th。
  〃Ah! I have received your journal。 Thanks for your punctuality。
  So you found great pleasure in seeing all the details of our first
  acquaintance thus set down? Alas! even while disguising them I was
  sorely afraid of offending you。 We had no stories; and a /Review/
  without stories is a beauty without hair。 Not being inventive by
  nature; and in sheer despair; I took the only poetry in my soul;
  the only adventure in my memory; and pitched it in the key in
  which it would bear telling; nor did I ever cease to think of you
  while writing the only literary production that will ever come
  from my heart; I cannot say from my pen。 Did not the
  transformation of your fierce Sormano into Gina make you laugh?
  〃You ask after my health。 Well; it is better than in Paris。 Though
  I work enormously; the peacefulness of the surroundings has its
  effect on the mind。 What really tries and ages me; dear angel; is
  the anguish of mortified vanity; the perpetual friction of Paris
  life; the struggle of rival ambitions。 This peace is a balm。
  〃If you could imagine the pleasure your letter gives me!the
  long; kind letter in which you tell me the most trivial incidents
  of your life。 No! you women can never know to what a degree a true
  lover is interested in these trifles。 It was an immense pleasure
  to see the pattern of your new dress。 Can it be a matter of
  indifference to me to know what you wear? If your lofty brow is
  knit? If our writers amuse you? If Canalis' songs delight you? I
  read the books you read。 Even to your boating on the lake every
  incident touched me。 Your letter is as lovely; as sweet as your
  soul! Oh! flower of heaven; perpetually adored; could I have lived
  without those dear letters; which for eleven years have upheld me
  in my difficult path like a light; like a perfume; like a steady
  chant; like some divine nourishment; like everything which can
  soothe and comfort life。
  〃Do not fail me! If you knew what anxiety I suffer the day before
  they are due; or the pain a day's delay can give me! Is she ill?
  Is /he/? I am midway between hell and paradise。
  〃/O mia cara diva/; keep up your music; exercise your voice;
  practise。 I am enchanted with the coincidence of employments and
  hours by which; though separated by the Alps; we live by precisely
  the same rule。 The thought charms me and gives me courage。 The
  first time I undertook to plead hereI forget to tell you thisI
  fancied that you were listening to me; and I suddenly felt the
  flash of inspiration which lifts the poet above mankind。 If I am
  returned to the Chamberoh! you must come to Paris to be present
  at my first appearance there!
  〃30th; Evening。
  〃Good heavens; how I love you! Alas! I have intrusted too much to
  my love and my hopes。 An accident which should sink that
  overloaded bark would end my life。 For three years now I have not
  seen you; and at the thought of going to Belgirate my heart beats
  so wildly that I am forced to stop。To see you; to hear that
  girlish caressing voice! To embrace in my gaze that ivory skin;
  glistening under the candlelight; and through which I can read
  your noble mind! To admire your fingers playing on the keys; to
  drink in your whole soul in a look; in the tone of an /Oime/ or an
  /Alberto/! To walk by the blossoming orange…trees; to live a few
  months in the bosom of that glorious scenery!That is life。 What
  folly it is to run after power; a name; fortune! But at Belgirate
  there is everything; there is poetry; there is glory! I ought to
  have made myself your steward; or; as that dear tyrant whom we
  cannot hate proposed to me; live there as /cavaliere servente/;
  only our passion was too fierce to allow of it。
  〃Farewell; my angel; forgive me my next fit of sadness in
  consideration of this cheerful mood; it has come as a beam of
  light from the torch of Hope; which has hitherto seemed to me a
  Will…o'…the…wisp。〃
  〃How he loves her!〃 cried Rosalie; dropping the letter; which seemed
  heavy in her hand。 〃After eleven years to write like this!〃
  〃Mariette;〃 said Mademoiselle de Watteville to her maid next morning;
  〃go and post this letter。 Tell Jerome that I know all I wish to know;
  and that he is to serve Monsieur Albert faithfully。 We will confess
  our sins;