AMONG　the　delightful　men　and　women　whom　you　are　certain　to　meet　at　an　English　country　house　there　is　generally　one　guest　who　is　sup…　posed　to　be　preternaturally　clever　and　amusing　〃so　very　droll；　don't　you　know。〃　　He　recites　things；　tells　stories　in　costermonger　dialect；　and　mimics　public　characters。　　He　is　a　type　of　a　class；　and　I　take　him　to　be　one　of　the　elemen…　tary　forms　of　animal　life；　like　the　acalephae。　His　presence　is　capable　of　adding　a　gloom　to　an　undertaker's　establishment。　　The　last　time　I　fell　in　with　him　was　on　a　coaching　trip　through　Devon；　and　in　spite　of　what　I　have　said　I　must　confess　to　receiving　an　instant　of　entertainment　at　his　hands。　　He　was　delivering　a　little　dis…　sertation　on　〃the　English　and　American　lan…　guages。〃　　As　there　were　two　Americans　on　the　back　seatit　seems　we　term　ourselves　〃Amur…　ricans〃his　choice　of　subject　was　full　of　tact。　It　was　exhilarating　to　get　a　lesson　in　pronuncia…　tion　from　a　gentleman　who　said　boult　for　bolt；　called　St。　John　Sin'　Jun；　and　did　not　know　how　to　pronounce　the　beautiful　name　of　his　own　college　at　Oxford。　　Fancy　a　perfectly　sober　man　saying　Maudlin　for　Magdalen！　　Perhaps　the　purest　English　spoken　is　that　of　the　English　folk　who　have　resided　abroad　ever　since　the　Elizabethan　period；　or　thereabouts。
  EVERY　one　has　a　bookplate　these　days；　and　the　collectors　are　after　it。　　The　fool　and　his　book…　plate　are　soon　parted。　　To　distribute　one's　ex…　libris　is　inanely　to　destroy　the　only　significance　it　has；　that　of　indicating　the　past　or　present　ownership　of　the　volume　in　which　it　is　placed。
  WHEN　an　Englishman　is　not　highly　imaginative　he　is　apt　to　be　the　most　matter…of…fact　of　mortals。　He　is　rarely　imaginative；　and　seldom　has　an　alert　sense　of　humor。　　Yet　England　has　produced　the　finest　of　humorists　and　the　greatest　of　poets。　　The　humor　and　imagination　which　are　diffused　through　other　peoples　concentrate　themselves　from　time　to　time　in　individual　Englishmen。
  THIS　is　a　page　of　autobiography；　though　not　written　in　the　first　person：　Many　years　ago　a　noted　Boston　publisher　used　to　keep　a　large　memorandum…book　on　a　table　in　his　personal　office。　　The　volume　always　lay　open；　and　was　in　no　manner　a　private　affair；　being　the　receptacle　of　nothing　more　important　than　hastily　scrawled　reminders　to　attend　to　this　thing　or　the　other。　　It　chanced　one　day　that　a　very　young；　unfledged　author；　passing　through　the　city；　looked　in　upon　the　publisher；　who　was　also　the　editor　of　a　famous　magazine。　　The　unfledged　had　a　copy　of　verses　secreted　about　his　person。　　The　pub…　lisher　was　absent；　and　young　Milton；　feeling　that　〃they　also　serve　who　only　stand　and　wait；〃　sat　down　and　waited。　　Presently　his　eye　fell　upon　the　memorandum…book；　lying　there　spread　out　like　a　morning　newspaper；　and　almost　in　spite　of　himself　he　read：　〃Don't　forget　to　see　the　binder；〃　〃Don't　forget　to　mail　E…　his　contract；〃　〃Don't　forget　H…'s　proofs；〃　etc。　An　inspiration　seized　upon　the　youth；　he　took　a　pencil；　and　at　the　tail　of　this　long　list　of　〃don't　forgets　〃　he　wrote：　〃Don't　forget　to　accept　A　's　poem。〃　　He　left　his　manuscript　on　the　table　and　disappeared。　　That　afternoon　when　the　publisher　glanced　over　his　memo…　randa；　he　was　not　a　little　astonished　at　the　last　item；　but　his　sense　of　humor　was　so　strong　that　he　did　accept　the　poem　（it　required　a　strong　sense　of　humor　to　do　that）；　and　sent　the　lad　a　check　for　it；　though　the　verses　remain　to　this　day　unprinted。　　That　kindly　publisher　was　wise　as　well　as　kind。
  FRENCH　novels　with　metaphysical　or　psycholo…　gical　prefaces　are　always　certain　to　be　particu…　larly　indecent。
  I　HAVE　lately　discovered　that　Master　Harry　Sandford　of　England；　the　priggish　little　boy　in　the　story　of　〃Sandford　and　Merton；〃　has　a　worthy　American　cousin　in　one　Elsie　Dinsmore；　who　sedately　pirouettes　through　a　seemingly　end…　less　succession　of　girls'　books。　　I　came　across　a　nest　of　fifteen　of　them　the　other　day。　　This　impossible　female　is　carried　from　infancy　up　to　grandmotherhood；　and　is；　I　believe；　still　lei…　surely　pursuing　her　way　down　to　the　tomb　in　an　ecstatic　state　of　uninterrupted　didacticism。　　There　are　twenty…five　volumes　of　her　and　the　grand…　daughter；　who　is　also　christened　Elsie；　and　is　her　grandmother's　own　child；　with　the　same　preco…　cious　readiness　to　dispense　ethical　instruction　to　her　elders。　　An　interesting　instance　of　hereditary　talent！
  H…'s　intellect　resembles　a　bambooslender；　graceful；　and　hollow。　　Personally；　he　is　long　and　narrow；　and　looks　as　if　he　might　have　been　the　product　of　a　rope…walk。　　He　is　loosely　put　together；　like　an　ill…constructed　sentence；　and　affects　me　like　one。　　His　figure　is　ungrammatical。
  AMERICAN　humor　is　nearly　as　ephemeral　as　the　flowers　that　bloom　in　the　spring。　　Each　gen…　eration　has　its　own　crop；　and；　as　a　rule；　insists　on　cultivating　a　new　kind。　　That　of　1860；　if　it　were　to　break　into　blossom　at　the　present　moment；　would　probably　be　left　to　fade　upon　the　stem。
  Humor　is　a　delicate　shrub；　with　the　passing　hectic　flush　of　its　time。　　The　current…topic　variety　is　especially　subject　to　very　early　frosts；　as　is　also　the　dialectic　species。　　Mark　Twain's　humor　is　not　to　be　classed　with　the　fragile　plants；　it　has　a　serious　root　striking　deep　down　into　rich　earth；　and　I　think　it　will　go　on　flowering　indefinitely。
  I　HAVE　been　imagining　an　ideal　critical　journal；　whose　plan　should　involve　the　discharge　of　the　chief　literary　critic　and　the　installment　of　a　fresh　censor　on　the　completion　of　each　issue。　　To　place　a　man　in　permanent　absolute　control　of　a　certain　number　of　pages；　in　which　to　express　his　opinions；　is　to　place　him　in　a　position　of　great　personal　danger；　It　is　almost　inevitable　that　he　should　come　to　overrate　the　importance　of　those　opinions；　to　take　himself　with　far　too　much　seriousness；　and　in　the　end　adopt　the　dogma　of　his　own　infallibility。　　The　liberty　to　summon　this　or　that　man…of…letters　to　a　supposititious　bar　of　justice　is　apt　to　beget　in　the　self…ap…　pointed　judge　an　exaggerated　sense　of　superi…　ority。　　He　becomes　impatient　of　any　rulings　not　his；　and　says　in　effect；　if　not　in　so　many　words：　〃　I　am　Sir　Oracle；　and　when　I　ope　my　lips　let　no　dog　bark。〃　　When　the　critic　reaches　this　exalted　frame　of　mind　his　slight　usefulness　is　gone。
  AFTER　a　debauch　of　thunder…shower；　the　weather　takes　the　pledge　and　signs　it　with　a　rainbow。
  I　LIKE　to　have　a　thing　suggested　rather　than　told　in　full。　　When　every　detail　is　given；　the　mind　rests　satisfied；　and　the　imagination　loses　the　desire　to　use　its　own　wings。　　The　partly　draped　statue　has　a　charm　which　the　nude　lacks。　　Who　would　have　those　marble　folds　slip　from　the　raised　knee　of　the　Venus　of　Melos？　　Hawthorne　knew　how　to　make　his　lovely　thought　lovelier　by　sometimes　half　veiling　it。
  I　HAVE　just　tested　the　nib　of　a　new　pen　on　a　slight　fancy　which　Herrick　has　handled　twice　in　the　〃Hesperides。〃　　The　fancy；　however；　is　not　Herrick's；　it　is　as　old　as　poetry　and　the　ex…　aggeration　of　lovers；　and　I　have　the　same　privi…　lege　as　another　to　try　my　fortune　with　it：
  UP　ROOS　THE　SONNE；　AND　UP　ROOS　EMELYE　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　CHAUCER
  When　some　hand　has　partly　drawn　　　　The　cloudy　curtains　of　her　bed；　　　　And　my　lady's　golden　head　Glimmers　in　the　dusk　like　dawn；　Then　methinks　is　day　begun。　Later；　when　her　dream　has　ceased　　　　And　she　softly　stirs　and　wakes；　　　　Then　it　is　as　when　the　East　　　　A　sudden　rosy　magic　takes　From　the　cloud…enfolded　sun；　　　　And　full　day　breaks！
  Shakespeare；　who　has　done　so　much　to　discour…　age　literature　by　anticipating　everybody；　puts　the　whole　matter　into　a　nutshell：
  But　soft！　what　light　through　yonder　window　breaks？　　　　It　is　the　east；　and　Juliet　is　the　sun。
  THERE　is　a　phrase　spoken　by　Hamlet　which　I　have　seen　quoted　innumerable　times；　and　never　once　correctly。　　Hamlet；　addressing　Horatio；　says：
  Give　me　that　man　　　　That　is　not　passion's　slave；　and　I　will　wear　him　　　　In　my　heart's　core；　ay；　in　my　heart　of　heart。
  The　words　italicized　are　invariably　written　〃heart　of　hearts〃as　if　a　person　possessed　that　organ　in　duplicate。　　Perhaps　no　one　living；　with　the　exception　of　Sir　Henry　Irving；　is　more　familiar　with　the　play　of　Hamlet　than　my　good　friend　Mr。　Bram　Stoker；　who　makes　his　heart　plural　on　two　occasions　in　his　recent　novel；　〃The　Mystery　of　the　Sea。〃　　Mrs。　Humphry　Ward　also　twice　misquotes　the　passage　in　〃Lady　Rose's　Daughter。〃
  BOOKS　that　have　become　classicsbooks　that　ave　had　their　day　and　now　get　more　praise　than　perusalalways　remind　me　of　venerable　colonels　and　majors　and　captains　who；　having　reached　the　age　limit；　find　themselves　retired　upon　half　pay。
  WHETHER　or　not　the　fretful　porcupine　rolls　itself　into　a　ball　is　a　subject　over　which　my　friend　John　Burroughs　and　several　brother　naturalists　have　lately　become　as　heated　as　if　the　question　involved　points　of　theology。　　Up　among　the　Adirondacks；　and　in　the　very　heart　of　the　re…　gion　of　porcupines；　I　happen　to　have　a　modest　cottage。　　This　retreat　is　called　The　Porcupine；　and　I　ought　by　good　rights　to　know　something　about　the　habits　of　the　small　animal　from　which　it　derives　its　name。　　Last　winter　my　dog　Buster　used　to　return　home　on　an　average　of　three　times　a　month　from　an　excursion　up　Mt。　Pisgah　with　his　nose　stuck　full　of　qui