第 13 节
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炒作 更新:2024-07-17 14:41 字数:9322
their shoulders; but that people might think they were carrying Luigi。
Far into the night the citizens continued to discuss and wonder over the
strangely mated pair of incidents that had distinguished and exalted the
past twenty…four hours above any other twenty…four in the history of
their town for picturesqueness and splendid interest; and long before the
lights were out and burghers asleep it had been decided on all hands that
in capturing these twins Dawson's Landing had drawn a prize in the great
lottery of municipal fortune。
At midnight Angelo was sleeping peacefully。 His immersion had not harmed
him; it had merely made him wholesomely drowsy; and he had been dead
asleep many hours now。 It had made Luigi drowsy; too; but he had got
only brief naps; on account of his having to take the medicine every
three…quarters of an hour…and Aunt Betsy Hale was there to see that he
did it。 When he complained and resisted; she was quietly firm with him;
and said in a low voice:
〃No…no; that won't do; you mustn't talk; and you mustn't retch and gag
that way; eitheryou'll wake up your poor brother。〃
〃Well; what of it; Aunt Betsy; he〃
〃'Sh…h! Don't make a noise; dear。 You mustn't: forget that your poor
brother is sick and〃
〃Sick; is he? Well; I wish I〃
〃'Sh…h…h! Will you be quiet; Luigi! Here; now; take the rest of it
don't keep me holding the dipper all night。 I declare if you haven't
left a good fourth of it in the bottom! Come…that's a good
〃Aunt Betsy; don't make me! I feel like I've swallowed a cemetery; I do;
indeed。 Do let me rest a littlejust a little; I can't take any more of
the devilish stuff now。〃
〃Luigi! Using such language here; and him just baptized! Do you want
the roof to fall on you?〃
〃I wish to goodness it would!〃
〃Why; you dreadful thing! I've a good notion tolet that blanket alone;
do you want your; brother to catch his death?〃
〃Aunt Betsy; I've got to have it off; I'm being roasted alive; nobody
could stand ityou couldn't yourself。〃
〃Now; then; you're sneezing againI just expected it。〃
〃Because I've caught a cold in my head。 I always do; when I go in the
water with my clothes on。 And it takes me weeks to get over it; too。
I think it was a shame to serve me so。〃
〃Luigi; you are unreasonable; you know very well they couldn't baptize
him dry。 I should think you would be willing to undergo a little
inconvenience for your brother's sake。〃
〃Inconvenience! Now how you talk; Aunt Betsy。 I came as near as
anything to getting drowned you saw that yourself; and do you call this
inconvenience?the room shut up as tight as a drum; and so hot the
mosquitoes are trying to get out; and a cold in the head; and dying for
sleep and no chance to get anyon account of this infamous medicine that
that assassin prescri〃
〃There; you're sneezing again。 I'm going down and mix some more of this
truck for you; dear。〃
CHAPTER IX
THE DRINKLESS DRUNK
During Monday; Tuesday; and Wednesday the twins grew steadily worse; but
then the doctor was summoned South to attend his mother's funeral; and
they got well in forty…eight hours。 They appeared on the street on
Friday; and were welcomed with enthusiasm by the new…born parties; the
Luigi and Angelo factions。 The Luigi faction carried its strength into
the Democratic party; the Angelo faction entered into a combination with
the Whigs。 The Democrats nominated Luigi for alderman under the new city
government; and the Whigs put up Angelo against him。 The Democrats
nominated Pudd'nhead Wilson for mayor; and he was left alone in this
glory; for the Whigs had no man who was willing to enter the lists
against such a formidable opponent。 No politician had scored such a
compliment as this before in the history of the Mississippi Valley。
The political campaign in Dawson's Landing opened in a pretty warm
fashion; and waned hotter every week。 Luigi's whole heart was in it;
and even Angelo developed a surprising amount of interest…which was
natural; because he was not merely representing Whigism; a matter of no
consequence to him; but he was representing something immensely finer and
greaterto wit; Reform。 In him was centered the hopes of the whole
reform element of the town; he was the chosen and admired champion of
every clique that had a pet reform of any sort or kind at heart。 He was
president of the great Teetotalers' Union; its chiefest prophet and
mouthpiece。
But as the canvass went on; troubles began to spring up all around
troubles for the twins; and through them for all the parties and segments
and factions of parties。 Whenever Luigi had possession of the legs; he
carried Angelo to balls; rum shops; Sons of Liberty parades; horse…
races; campaign riots; and everywhere else that could damage him with his
party and the church; and when it was Angelo's week he carried Luigi
diligently to all manner of moral and religious gatherings; doing his
best to regain the ground he had lost before。 As a result of these
double performances; there was a storm blowing all the time; an ever…
rising storm; tooa storm of frantic criticism of the twins; and rage
over their extravagant; incomprehensible conduct。
Luigi had the final chance。 The legs were his for the closing week of
the canvass。 He led his brother a fearful dance。
But he saved his best card for the very eve of the election。 There was
to be a grand turnout of the Teetotalers' Union that day; and Angelo was
to march at the head of the procession and deliver a great oration
afterward。 Luigi drank a couple of glasses of whiskywhich steadied his
nerves and clarified his mind; but made Angelo drunk。 Everybody who saw
the march; saw that the Champion of the Teetotalers was half seas over;
and noted also that his brother; who made no hypocritical pretensions to
extra temperance virtues; was dignified and sober。 This eloquent fact
could not be unfruitful at the end of a hot political canvass。 At the
mass…meeting Angelo tried to make his great temperance oration; but was
so discommodedby hiccoughs and thickness of tongue that he had to give
it up; then drowsiness overtook him and his head drooped against Luigi's
and he went to sleep。 Luigi apologized for him; and was going on to
improve his opportunity with an appeal for a moderation of what he called
〃the prevailing teetotal madness;〃 but persons in the audience began to
howl and throw things at him; and then the meeting rose in wrath and
chased him home。
This episode was a crusher for Angelo in another way。 It destroyed his
chances with Rowena。 Those chances had been growing; right along; for
two months。 Rowena had partly confessed that she loved him; but wanted
time to consider。 Now the tender dream was ended; and she told him so
the moment he was sober enough to understand。 She said she would never
marry a man who drank。
〃But I don't drink;〃 he pleaded。
〃That is nothing to the point;〃 she said; coldly; 〃you get drunk; and
that is worse。〃
'There was a long and sufficiently idiotic discussion here; which ended
as reported in a previous note。'
CHAPTER X
SO THEY HANGED LUIGI
Dawson's Landing had a week of repose; after the election; and it needed
it; for the frantic and variegated nightmare which had tormented it all
through the preceding week had left it limp; haggard; and exhausted at
the end。 It got the week of repose because Angelo had the legs; and was
in too subdued a condition to want to go out and mingle with an irritated
community that had come to disgust and detest him because there was such
a lack of harmony between his morals; which were confessedly excellent;
and his methods of illustrating them; which were distinctly damnable。
The new city officers were sworn in on the following Mondayat least all
but Luigi。 There was a complication in his case。 His election was
conceded; but he could not sit in the board of aldermen without his
brother; and his brother could not sit there because he was not a member。
There seemed to be no way out of the difficulty but to carry the matter
into the courts; so this was resolved upon。
The case was set for the Monday fortnight。 In due course the time
arrived。 In the mean time the city government had been at a standstill;
because with out Luigi there was a tie in the board of aldermen; whereas
with him the liquor interestthe richest in the political fieldwould
have one majority。 But the court decided that Angelo could not sit in
the board with him; either in public or executive sessions; and at the
same time forbade the board to deny admission to Luigi; a fairly and
legally chosen alderman。 The case was carried up and up from court to
court; yet still the same old original decision was confirmed every time。
As a result; the city government not only stood still; with its hands
tied; but everything it was created to protect and care for went a steady
gait toward rack and ruin。 There was no way to levy a tax; so the minor
officials had to resign or starve; therefore they resigned。 There being
no city money; the enormous legal expenses on both sides had to be
defrayed by private subscription。 But at last the people came to their