第 59 节
作者:泰达魔王      更新:2024-07-17 14:41      字数:9322
  anew; and the terrors which succeeded almost incapacitated me from
  taking any measures for my defense。  It was an impulse of which I
  was scarcely conscious that made me fasten the lock and draw the
  bolts of my chamber door。  Having done this; I threw myself on a
  seat; for I trembled to a degree which disabled me from standing;
  and my soul was so perfectly absorbed in the act of listening; that
  almost the vital motions were stopped。
  The door below creaked on its hinges。  It was not again thrust to;
  but appeared to remain open。  Footsteps entered; traversed the
  entry; and began to mount the stairs。  How I detested the folly of
  not pursuing the man when he withdrew; and bolting after him the
  outer door!  Might he not conceive this omission to be a proof that
  my angel had deserted me; and be thereby fortified in guilt?
  Every step on the stairs which brought him nearer to my chamber
  added vigor to my desperation。  The evil with which I was menaced
  was to be at any rate eluded。  How little did I preconceive the
  conduct which; in an exigence like this; I should be prone to
  adopt!  You will suppose that deliberation and despair would have
  suggested the same course of action; and that I should have
  unhesitatingly resorted to the best means of personal defense
  within my power。  A penknife lay open upon my table。  I remembered
  that it was there; and seized it。  For what purpose you will
  scarcely inquire。  It will be immediately supposed that I meant it
  for my last refuge; and that; if all other means should fail; I
  should plunge it into the heart of my ravisher。
  I have lost all faith in the steadfastness of human resolves。  It
  was thus that in periods of calm I had determined to act。  No
  cowardice had been held by me in greater abhorrence than that which
  prompted an injured female to destroy; not her injurer ere the
  injury was perpetrated; but herself when it was without remedy。
  Yet now this penknife appeared to me of no other use than to baffle
  my assailant and prevent the crime by destroying myself。  To
  deliberate at such a time was impossible; but; among the tumultuous
  suggestions of the moment; I do not recollect that it once occurred
  to me to use it as an instrument of direct defense。
  The steps had now reached the second floor。  Every footfall
  accelerated the completion without augmenting the certainty of
  evil。  The consciousness that the door was fast; now that nothing
  but that was interposed between me and danger; was a source of some
  consolation。  I cast my eye toward the window。  This; likewise; was
  a new suggestion。  If the door should give way; it was my sudden
  resolution to throw myself from the window。  Its height from the
  ground; which was covered beneath by a brick pavement; would insure
  my destruction; but I thought not of that。
  When opposite to my door the footsteps ceased。  Was he listening
  whether my fears were allayed and my caution were asleep?  Did he
  hope to take me by surprise?  Yet; if so; why did he allow so many
  noisy signals to betray his approach?  Presently the steps were
  again heard to approach the door。  A hand was laid upon the lock;
  and the latch pulled back。  Did he imagine it possible that I
  should fail to secure the door?  A slight effort was made to push
  it open; as if; all bolts being withdrawn; a slight effort only was
  required。
  I no sooner perceived this than I moved swiftly toward the window。
  Carwin's frame might be said to be all muscle。  His strength and
  activity had appeared; in various instances; to be prodigious。  A
  slight exertion of his force would demolish the door。  Would not
  that exertion be made?  Too surely it would; but; at the same
  moment that this obstacle should yield and he should enter the
  apartment; my determination was formed to leap from the window。  My
  senses were still bound to this object。  I gazed at the door in
  momentary expectation that the assault would be made。  The pause
  continued。  The person without was irresolute and motionless。
  Suddenly it occurred to me that Carwin might conceive me to have
  fled。  That I had not betaken myself to flight was; indeed; the
  least probable of all conclusions。  In this persuasion he must have
  been confirmed on finding the lower door unfastened and the chamber
  door locked。  Was it not wise to foster this persuasion?  Should I
  maintain deep silence; this; in addition to other circumstances;
  might encourage the belief; and he would once more depart。  Every
  new reflection added plausibility to this reasoning。  It was
  presently more strongly enforced when I noticed footsteps
  withdrawing from the door。  The blood once more flowed back to my
  heart; and a dawn of exultation began to rise; but my joy was
  short…lived。  Instead of descending the stairs; he passed to the
  door of the opposite chamber; opened it; and; having entered; shut
  it after him with a violence that shook the house。
  How was I to interpret this circumstance?  For what end could he
  have entered this chamber?  Did the violence with which he closed
  the door testify the depth of his vexation?  This room was usually
  occupied by Pleyel。  Was Carwin aware of his absence on this night?
  Could he be suspected of a design so sordid as pillage?  If this
  were his view; there were no means in my power to frustrate it。  It
  behooved me to seize the first opportunity to escape; but; if my
  escape were supposed by my enemy to have been already effected; no
  asylum was more secure than the present。  How could my passage from
  the house be accomplished without noises that might incite him to
  pursue me?
  Utterly at a loss to account for his going into Pleyel's chamber; I
  waited in instant expectation of hearing him come forth。  All;
  however; was profoundly still。  I listened in vain for a
  considerable period to catch the sound of the door when it should
  again be opened。  There was no other avenue by which he could
  escape; but a door which led into the girl's chamber。  Would any
  evil from this quarter befall the girl?
  Hence arose a new train of apprehensions。  They merely added to the
  turbulence and agony of my reflections。  Whatever evil impended
  over her; I had no power to avert it。  Seclusion and silence were
  the only means of saving myself from the perils of this fatal
  night。  What solemn vows did I put up; that; if I should once more
  behold the light of day; I would never trust myself again within
  the threshold of this dwelling!
  Minute lingered after minute; but no token was given that Carwin
  had returned to the passage。  What; I again asked; could detain him
  in this room?  Was it possible that he had returned; and glided
  unperceived away?  I was speedily aware of the difficulty that
  attended an enterprise like this; and yet; as if by that means I
  were capable of gaining any information on that head; I cast
  anxious looks from the window。
  The object that first attracted my attention was a human figure
  standing on the edge of the bank。  Perhaps my penetration was
  assisted by my hopes。  Be that as it will; the figure of Carwin was
  clearly distinguishable。  From the obscurity of my station; it was
  impossible that I should be discerned by him; and yet he scarcely
  suffered me to catch a glimpse of him。  He turned and went down the
  steep; which in this part was not difficult to be scaled。
  My conjecture; then; had been right。  Carwin has softly opened the
  door; descended the stairs; and issued forth。  That I should not
  have overheard his steps was only less incredible than that my eyes
  had deceived me。  But what was now to be done?  The house was at
  length delivered from this detested inmate。  By one avenue might he
  again reenter。  Was it not wise to bar the lower door?  Perhaps he
  had gone out by the kitchen door。  For this end; he must have
  passed through Judith's chamber。  These entrances being closed and
  bolted; as great security was gained as was compatible with my
  lonely condition。
  The propriety of these measures was too manifest not to make me
  struggle successfully with my fears。  Yet I opened my own door with
  the utmost caution; and descended as if I were afraid that Carwin
  had been still immured in Pleyel's chamber。  The outer door was
  ajar。  I shut it with trembling eagerness; and drew every bolt that
  appended to it。  I then passed with light and less cautious steps
  through the parlor; but was surprised to discover that the kitchen
  door was secure。  I was compelled to acquiesce in the first
  conjecture that Carwin had escaped through the entry。
  My heart was now somewhat eased of the load of apprehension。  I
  returned once more to my chamber; the door of which I was careful
  to lock。  It was no time to think of repose。  The moonlight began
  already to fade before the light of the day。  The approach of
  morning was betokened by the usual signals。  I mused upon the
  events of this night; and determined to take up my abode henceforth
  at my