第 5 节
作者:泰达魔王      更新:2024-07-17 14:41      字数:9320
  to think; or to let my thoughts meander through labyrinths of their
  own choosing; utterly indifferent to the course they might take。
  The tall windows of the room opened to the level of the ground upon
  the terrace at the head of the garden。  It was in the end of July;
  and everything was open; for the weather was warm。  As I sat alone
  I heard the unceasing splash of the great fountains; and I fell to
  thinking of the Woman of the Water。  I rose and went out into the
  still night; and sat down upon a seat on the terrace; between two
  gigantic Italian flower pots。  The air was deliciously soft and
  sweet with the smell of the flowers; and the garden was more
  congenial to me than the house。  Sad people always like running
  water and the sound of it at night; though I cannot tell why。  I
  sat and listened in the gloom; for it was dark below; and the pale
  moon had not yet climbed over the hills in front of me; though all
  the air above was light with her rising beams。  Slowly the white
  halo in the eastern sky ascended in an arch above the wooded
  crests; making the outlines of the mountains more intensely black
  by contrast; as though the head of some great white saint were
  rising from behind a screen in a vast cathedral; throwing misty
  glories from below。  I longed to see the moon herself; and I tried
  to reckon the seconds before she must appear。  Then she sprang up
  quickly; and in a moment more hung round and perfect in the sky。  I
  gazed at her; and then at the floating spray of the tall fountains;
  and down at the pools; where the water lilies were rocking softly
  in their sleep on the velvet surface of the moonlit water。  Just
  then a great swan floated out silently into the midst of the basin;
  and wreathed his long neck; catching the water in his broad bill;
  and scattering showers of diamonds around him。
  Suddenly; as I gazed; something came between me and the light。  I
  looked up instantly。  Between me and the round disk of the moon
  rose a luminous face of a woman; with great strange eyes; and a
  woman's mouth; full and soft; but not smiling; hooded in black;
  staring at me as I sat still upon my bench。  She was close to me
  so close that I could have touched her with my hand。  But I was
  transfixed and helpless。  She stood still for a moment; but her
  expression did not change。  Then she passed swiftly away; and my
  hair stood up on my head; while the cold breeze from her white
  dress was wafted to my temples as she moved。  The moonlight;
  shining through the tossing spray of the fountain; made traceries
  of shadow on the gleaming folds of her garments。  In an instant she
  was gone and I was alone。
  I was strangely shaken by the vision; and some time passed before I
  could rise to my feet; for I was still weak from my illness; and
  the sight I had seen would have startled anyone。  I did not reason
  with myself; for I was certain that I had looked on the unearthly;
  and no argument could have destroyed that belief。  At last I got up
  and stood unsteadily; gazing in the direction in which I thought
  the face had gone; but there was nothing to be seennothing but
  the broad paths; the tall; dark evergreen hedges; the tossing water
  of the fountains and the smooth pool below。  I fell back upon the
  seat and recalled the face I had seen。  Strange to say; now that
  the first impression had passed; there was nothing startling in the
  recollection; on the contrary; I felt that I was fascinated by the
  face; and would give anything to see it again。  I could retrace the
  beautiful straight features; the long dark eyes; and the wonderful
  mouth most exactly in my mind; and when I had reconstructed every
  detail from memory I knew that the whole was beautiful; and that I
  should love a woman with such a face。
  〃I wonder whether she is the Woman of the Water!〃 I said to myself。
  Then rising once more; I wandered down the garden; descending one
  short flight of steps after another from terrace to terrace by the
  edge of the marble basins; through the shadow and through the
  moonlight; and I crossed the water by the rustic bridge above the
  artificial grotto; and climbed slowly up again to the highest
  terrace by the other side。  The air seemed sweeter; and I was very
  calm; so that I think I smiled to myself as I walked; as though a
  new happiness had come to me。  The woman's face seemed always
  before me; and the thought of it gave me an unwonted thrill of
  pleasure; unlike anything I had ever felt before。
  I turned as I reached the house; and looked back upon the scene。
  It had certainly changed in the short hour since I had come out;
  and my mood had changed with it。  Just like my luck; I thought; to
  fall in love with a ghost!  But in old times I would have sighed;
  and gone to bed more sad than ever; at such a melancholy
  conclusion。  To…night I felt happy; almost for the first time in my
  life。  The gloomy old study seemed cheerful when I went in。  The
  old pictures on the walls smiled at me; and I sat down in my deep
  chair with a new and delightful sensation that I was not alone。
  The idea of having seen a ghost; and of feeling much the better for
  it; was so absurd that I laughed softly; as I took up one of the
  books I had brought with me and began to read。
  That impression did not wear off。  I slept peacefully; and in the
  morning I threw open my windows to the summer air and looked down
  at the garden; at the stretches of green and at the colored flower…
  beds; at the circling swallows and at the bright water。
  〃A man might make a paradise of this place;〃 I exclaimed。  〃A man
  and a woman together!〃
  From that day the old Castle no longer seemed gloomy; and I think I
  ceased to be sad; for some time; too; I began to take an interest
  in the place; and to try and make it more alive。  I avoided my old
  Welsh nurse; lest she should damp my humor with some dismal
  prophecy; and recall my old self by bringing back memories of my
  dismal childhood。  But what I thought of most was the ghostly
  figure I had seen in the garden that first night after my arrival。
  I went out every evening and wandered through the walks and paths;
  but; try as I might; I did not see my vision again。  At last; after
  many days; the memory grew more faint; and my old moody nature
  gradually overcame the temporary sense of lightness I had
  experienced。  The summer turned to autumn; and I grew restless。  It
  began to rain。  The dampness pervaded the gardens; and the outer
  halls smelled musty; like tombs; the gray sky oppressed me
  intolerably。  I left the place as it was and went abroad;
  determined to try anything which might possibly make a second break
  in the monotonous melancholy from which I suffered。
  II
  Most people would be struck by the utter insignificance of the
  small events which; after the death of my parents; influenced my
  life and made me unhappy。  The grewsome forebodings of a Welsh
  nurse; which chanced to be realized by an odd coincidence of
  events; should not seem enough to change the nature of a child and
  to direct the bent of his character in after years。  The little
  disappointments of schoolboy life; and the somewhat less childish
  ones of an uneventful and undistinguished academic career; should
  not have sufficed to turn me out at one…and…twenty years of age a
  melancholic; listless idler。  Some weakness of my own character may
  have contributed to the result; but in a greater degree it was due
  to my having a reputation for bad luck。  However; I will not try to
  analyze the causes of my state; for I should satisfy nobody; least
  of all myself。  Still less will I attempt to explain why I felt a
  temporary revival of my spirits after my adventure in the garden。
  It is certain that I was in love with the face I had seen; and that
  I longed to see it again; that I gave up all hope of a second
  visitation; grew more sad than ever; packed up my traps; and
  finally went abroad。  But in my dreams I went back to my home; and
  it always appeared to me sunny and bright; as it had looked on that
  summer's morning after I had seen the woman by the fountain。
  I went to Paris。  I went farther; and wandered about Germany。  I
  tried to amuse myself; and I failed miserably。  With the aimless
  whims of an idle and useless man come all sorts of suggestions for
  good resolutions。  One day I made up my mind that I would go and
  bury myself in a German university for a time; and live simply like
  a poor student。  I started with the intention of going to Leipzig;
  determined to stay there until some event should direct my life or
  change my humor; or make an end of me altogether。  The express
  train stopped at some station of which I did not know the name。  It
  was dusk on a winter's afternoon; and I peered through the thick
  glass from my seat。  Suddenly another train came gliding in from
  the opposite direction; and stopped alongside of ours。  I looked at
  the carriage which chanced to be abreast of mine; and idly read the