第 40 节
作者:曾氏六合网      更新:2024-07-12 09:34      字数:9322
  knew; but her disappointment had precipitated it。      He lighted a cigarette;
  and in the curling smoke of it caught visions of his English mother; and
  wondered if she would understand how her son could love a woman who
  cried because she could not be skipper of a schooner in the cannibal isles。
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  CHAPTER XXA MAN…TALK
  The most patient man in the world is prone to impatience in love and
  Sheldon was in love。        He called himself an ass a score of times a day; and
  strove to contain himself by directing his mind in other channels; but more
  than a score of times each day his thoughts roved back and dwelt on Joan。
  It   was   a   pretty   problem   she   presented;   and   he   was   continually   debating
  with himself as to what was the best way to approach her。
  He was not an adept at love…making。            He had had but one experience
  in the gentle art (in which he had been more wooed than wooing); and the
  affair   had   profited   him   little。 This   was   another   affair;   and   he   assured
  himself   continually   that   it   was   a   uniquely   different   and   difficult   affair。
  Not only was here a woman who was not bent on finding a husband; but it
  was a woman who wasn't a woman at all; who was genuinely appalled by
  the thought of a husband; who joyed in boys' games; and sentimentalized
  over     such   things    as  adventure;     who    was    healthy    and   normal     and
  wholesome; and who was so immature that a husband stood for nothing
  more than an encumbrance in her cherished scheme of existence。
  But how to approach her?           He divined the fanatical love of freedom
  in her; the deep…seated antipathy for restraint of any sort。             No man could
  ever put his arm around her and win her。              She would flutter away like a
  frightened     bird。   Approach      by   contactthat;   he  realized;   was   the   one
  thing he must never do。        His hand…clasp must be what it had always been;
  the hand…clasp of hearty friendship and   nothing more。               Never by  action
  must    he   advertise   his  feeling   for   her。  Remained       speech。    But    what
  speech?      Appeal to her love?        But she did not love him。        Appeal to her
  brain?     But   it   was   apparently   a   boy's   brain。 All   the   deliciousness   and
  fineness of a finely bred woman was hers; but; for all he could discern; her
  mental processes were sexless and boyish。             And yet speech it must be; for
  a   beginning   had   to   be   made   somewhere;   some   time;   her   mind   must   be
  made   accustomed   to   the   idea;   her   thoughts   turned   upon   the   matter   of
  marriage。
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  And so he rode overseeing about the plantation; with tightly drawn and
  puckered   brows;   puzzling   over   the   problem;   and   steeling   himself   to   the
  first attempt。     A dozen ways he planned an intricate leading up to the first
  breaking of the ice; and each time some link in the chain snapped and the
  talk went off on unexpected and irrelevant lines。              And then one morning;
  quite fortuitously; the opportunity came。
  〃My   dearest     wish    is  the  success   of  Berande;〃     Joan   had   just  said;
  apropos   of   a   discussion     about   the   cheapening   of   freights   on   copra   to
  market。
  〃Do you mind if I tell you the dearest wish of my heart?〃 he promptly
  returned。     〃I long for it。    I dream about it。      It is my dearest desire。〃
  He paused and looked at her with intent significance; but it was plain
  to   him   that   she   thought   there   was   nothing   more   at   issue   than   mutual
  confidences about things in general。
  〃Yes; go ahead;〃 she said; a trifle impatient at his delay。
  〃I   love  to   think  of   the  success   of   Berande;〃   he    said;   〃but  that  is
  secondary。      It is subordinate to the dearest wish; which is that some day
  you   will   share   Berande   with   me   in   a   completer   way   than   that   of   mere
  business partnership。        It is for you; some day; when you are ready; to be
  my wife。〃
  She started back from him as if she had been stung。                  Her face went
  white   on   the   instant;   not   from   maidenly   embarrassment;   but   from   the
  anger which he could see flaming in her eyes。
  〃This     taking    for   granted!this     when     I   am    ready!〃    she    cried
  passionately。      Then   her   voice   swiftly   became   cold   and   steady;   and   she
  talked in the way he imagined she must have talked business with Morgan
  and Raff at Guvutu。         〃Listen to me; Mr。 Sheldon。           I like you very well;
  though you are slow and a muddler; but I want you to understand; once
  and for all; that I did not come to the Solomons to get married。                That is an
  affliction I could have accumulated at home; without sailing ten thousand
  miles after it。 I have my own way to make in the world; and I came to the
  Solomons to do it。        Getting married is not making MY way in the world。
  It may do for some women; but not for me; thank you。                   When I sit down
  to talk over the freight on copra; I don't care to have proposals of marriage
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  sandwiched in。        Besidesbesides〃
  Her voice broke for the moment; and when she went on there was a
  note   of   appeal   in   it   that   well…nigh   convicted   him   to   himself   of   being   a
  brute。
  〃Don't   you   see?it   spoils   everything;   it   makes   the   whole   situation
  impossible 。 。 。 and 。 。 。 and I so loved our partnership; and was proud of it。
  Don't you see?I can't go on being your partner if you make love to me。
  And I was so happy。〃
  Tears of disappointment were in her eyes; and she caught a swift sob in
  her throat。
  〃I   warned   you;〃   he   said   gravely。  〃Such   unusual   situations   between
  men and women cannot endure。              I told you so at the beginning。〃
  〃Oh; yes; it is quite clear to me what you did。〃             She was angry again;
  and   the   feminine   appeal   had   disappeared。       〃You   were   very   discreet   in
  your warning。       You took good care to warn me against every other man in
  the Solomons except yourself。〃
  It was a blow in the face to Sheldon。           He smarted with the truth of it;
  and   at   the   same   time   he   smarted   with   what   he   was   convinced   was   the
  injustice of it。     A gleam of triumph that flickered in her eye because of
  the hit she had made decided him。
  〃It is not so one…sided as you seem to think it is;〃 he began。                 〃I was
  doing     very   nicely   on  Berande     before    you   came。    At    least  I  was   not
  suffering indignities; such as being accused of cowardly conduct; as you
  have just accused me。         Rememberplease remember; I did not invite you
  to   Berande。     Nor   did   I   invite   you   to   stay   on   at   Berande。 It   was   by
  staying   that   you   brought   about   thisto   you   unpleasant   situation。     By
  staying you made yourself a temptation; and now you would blame me for
  it。   I did not want you to stay。        I wasn't in love with you then。         I wanted
  you to go to Sydney; to go back to Hawaii。               But you insisted on staying。
  You virtually〃
  He paused for a softer word than the one that had risen to his lips; and
  she took it away from him。
  〃Forced myself on youthat's what you meant to say;〃 she cried; the
  flags    of   battle  painting    her   cheeks。     〃Go     ahead。     Don't     mind    my
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  feelings。〃
  〃All   right;   I   won't;〃   he   said   decisively;   realizing   that   the   discussion
  was   in   danger   of   becoming   a   vituperative;   schoolboy   argument。       〃You
  have insisted on being considered as a man。 Consistency would demand
  that you talk like a man; and like a man listen to man…talk。                 And listen
  you shall。     It is not your fault that this unpleasantness has arisen。             I do
  not blame you for anything; remember that。             And for the same reason you
  should not blame me for anything。〃
  He noticed her bosom heaving as she sat with clenched hands; and it
  was all he could do to conquer the desire to flash his arms out and around
  her instead of going on with his coolly planned cam