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作者:
负债赌博 更新:2024-05-25 15:05 字数:9322
Before Adam
Before Adam
Jack London
1906
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Before Adam
〃These are our ancestors; and their history is our history。 Remember
that as surely as we one day swung down out of the trees and walked
upright; just as surely; on a far earlier day; did we crawl up out of the sea
and achieve our first adventure on land。〃
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Before Adam
CHAPTER I
Pictures! Pictures! Pictures! Often; before I learned; did I wonder
whence came the multitudes of pictures that thronged my dreams; for they
were pictures the like of which I had never seen in real wake…a…day life。
They tormented my childhood; making of my dreams a procession of
nightmares and a little later convincing me that I was different from my
kind; a creature unnatural and accursed。
In my days only did I attain any measure of happiness。 My nights
marked the reign of fearand such fear! I make bold to state that no man
of all the men who walk the earth with me ever suffer fear of like kind and
degree。 For my fear is the fear of long ago; the fear that was rampant in
the Younger World; and in the youth of the Younger World。 In short; the
fear that reigned supreme in that period known as the Mid…Pleistocene。
What do I mean? I see explanation is necessary before I can tell you of
the substance of my dreams。 Otherwise; little could you know of the
meaning of the things I know so well。 As I write this; all the beings and
happenings of that other world rise up before me in vast phantasmagoria;
and I know that to you they would be rhymeless and reasonless。
What to you the friendship of Lop…Ear; the warm lure of the Swift One;
the lust and the atavism of Red…Eye? A screaming incoherence and no
more。 And a screaming incoherence; likewise; the doings of the Fire
People and the Tree People; and the gibbering councils of the horde。 For
you know not the peace of the cool caves in the cliffs; the circus of the
drinking…places at the end of the day。 You have never felt the bite of the
morning wind in the tree…tops; nor is the taste of young bark sweet in your
mouth。
It would be better; I dare say; for you to make your approach; as I
made mine; through my childhood。 As a boy I was very like other boys
in my waking hours。 It was in my sleep that I was different。 From my
earliest recollection my sleep was a period of terror。 Rarely were my
dreams tinctured with happiness。 As a rule; they were stuffed with fear
and with a fear so strange and alien that it had no ponderable quality。 No
fear that I experienced in my waking life resembled the fear that possessed
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me in my sleep。 It was of a quality and kind that transcended all my
experiences。
For instance; I was a city boy; a city child; rather; to whom the country
was an unexplored domain。 Yet I never dreamed of cities; nor did a
house ever occur in any of my dreams。 Nor; for that matter; did any of
my human kind ever break through the wall of my sleep。 I; who had seen
trees only in parks and illustrated books; wandered in my sleep through
interminable forests。 And further; these dream trees were not a mere blur
on my vision。 They were sharp and distinct。 I was on terms of
practised intimacy with them。 I saw every branch and twig; I saw and
knew every different leaf。
Well do I remember the first time in my waking life that I saw an oak
tree。 As I looked at the leaves and branches and gnarls; it came to me
with distressing vividness that I had seen that same kind of tree many and
countless times n my sleep。 So I was not surprised; still later on in my
life; to recognize instantly; the first time I saw them; trees such as the
spruce; the yew; the birch; and the laurel。 I had seen them all before; and
was seeing them even then; every night; in my sleep。
This; as you have already discerned; violates the first law of dreaming;
namely; that in one's dreams one sees only what he has seen in his waking
life; or combinations of the things he has seen in his waking life。 But all
my dreams violated this law。 In my dreams I never saw ANYTHING of
which I had knowledge in my waking life。 My dream life and my
waking life were lives apart; with not one thing in common save myself。 I
was the connecting link that somehow lived both lives。
Early in my childhood I learned that nuts came from the grocer; berries
from the fruit man; but before ever that knowledge was mine; in my
dreams I picked nuts from trees; or gathered them and ate them from the
ground underneath trees; and in the same way I ate berries from vines and
bushes。 This was beyond any experience of mine。
I shall never forget the first time I saw blueberries served on the table。
I had never seen blueberries before; and yet; at the sight of them; there
leaped up in my mind memories of dreams wherein I had wandered
through swampy land eating my fill of them。 My mother set before me a
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Before Adam
dish of the berries。 I filled my spoon; but before I raised it to my mouth I
knew just how they would taste。 Nor was I disappointed。 It was the
same tang that I had tasted a thousand times in my sleep。
Snakes? Long before I had heard of the existence of snakes; I was
tormented by them in my sleep。 They lurked for me in the forest glades;
leaped up; striking; under my feet; squirmed off through the dry grass or
across naked patches of rock; or pursued me into the tree…tops; encircling
the trunks with their great shining bodies; driving me higher and higher or
farther and farther out on swaying and crackling branches; the ground a
dizzy distance beneath me。 Snakes!with their forked tongues; their beady
eyes and glittering scales; their hissing and their rattlingdid I not already
know them far too well on that day of my first circus when I saw the
snake…charmer lift them up?
They were old friends of mine; enemies rather; that peopled my nights
with fear。
Ah; those endless forests; and their horror…haunted gloom! For what
eternities have I wandered through them; a timid; hunted creature; starting
at the least sound; frightened of my own shadow; keyed…up; ever alert and
vigilant; ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life。 For
I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest; and it
was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters。
When I was five years old I went to my first circus。 I came home
from it sickbut not from peanuts and pink lemonade。 Let me tell you。
As we entered the animal tent; a hoarse roaring shook the air。 I tore my
hand loose from my father's and dashed wildly back through the entrance。
I collided with people; fell down; and all the time I was screaming with
terror。 My father caught me and soothed me。 He pointed to the crowd
of people; all careless of the roaring; and cheered me with assurances of
safety。
Nevertheless; it was in fear and trembling; and with much
encouragement on his part; that I at last approached the lion's cage。 Ah; I
knew him on the instant。 The beast! The terrible one! And on my inner
vision flashed the memories of my dreams;the midday sun shining on tall
grass; the wild bull grazing quietly; the sudden parting of the grass before
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the swift rush of the tawny one; his leap to the bull's bac